Random Essay Contest

Write the most random essay that you can think of. It can be on anything you want, just has to be under 100 words.

Allow me to demonstrate:

At age ten I experienced God and I basically performed miracles and I contribute to society by converting muslims and thus helping homeland security by eliminating potential terrorists. I was beat as a child and consequently I learned that violence does not solve problems. My brother was an atheist crackhead pimp car-stealing KKK member. I changed his life by giving him a cookie. My lasagna is but an endless chasm of betrothal. The shoelace is the embodiment of apples in the metropolitan whetstone. Do not speak louder than rocks. I revel in the fact that I should never have existed.

Knock yourselves out. =D

Pies

A pie is a baked food, with a baked shell usually made of pastry that covers or completely contains a filling of meat, fish, vegetables, fruit, cheeses, creams, chocolate, custards, nuts, or other sweet or savoury ingredients. Pies can be either "one-crust," where the filling is placed in a dish and covered with a pastry/potato mash top before baking, or "two-crust," with the filling completely enclosed in the pastry shell. Some pies have only a bottom crust, generally if they have a sweet filling that does not require cooking.

I think thats 100 words, can soeone check, i keep losing count.

Originally Posted by Demon link

Pies

A pie is a baked food, with a baked shell usually made of pastry that covers or completely contains a filling of meat, fish, vegetables, fruit, cheeses, creams, chocolate, custards, nuts, or other sweet or savoury ingredients. Pies can be either "one-crust," where the filling is placed in a dish and covered with a pastry/potato mash top before baking, or "two-crust," with the filling completely enclosed in the pastry shell. Some pies have only a bottom crust, generally if they have a sweet filling that does not require cooking.

I think thats 100 words, can soeone check, i keep losing count.

Noooo you got it all wrong!!! When I say random I mean without a pattern, not a purposeful essay on a random subject. I shall demonstrate again:

Do

Well I went over to the door to teach it a lesson but it looked at me as if I was a five armed monkey. I proceeded to sit on the cucumber and it exploded.

Don't

A door is an apparatus used to block entrances from one room to another. One must use a handle to open the door. Handles, by the way, require hands.

Visualize the concept of randomnosity, Demon Link. Try again. I know youve got random in you.

Originally Posted by Water_Demon

Noooo you got it all wrong!!! When I say random I mean without a pattern, not a purposeful essay on a random subject. I shall demonstrate again:

Do


Don't


Visualize the concept of randomnosity, Demon Link. Try again. I know youve got random in you.

Oh, sorry, so you just write random stuff like I tryed to open a door once, it screamed at me.