Poesy of Val

I'm still rather new to the forums, but this section has drawn my attention. So here I am. Do tell me what you think of my poem. Feel free to criticize, as well. Thanks for reading, anyway!

A Different Day

Past the infinite mirror locked on the horizon,
She looked and waited.

He came as the day before,
Gurgling reflections upon the walls.
From his fair chariot, he smiled and threw
Starlight in the velvet depths of blue.

Across the high realm, and down his bright arc,
Then silent farewell; they could not speak plainer.
Past a fallen sun through the setting water,
She looked, but did not wait.

He’s not the same, she murmured;
The dusk sits under new command.

Great descriptiveness in the second stanza, and the infinite mirror relating to distance was superb. Wow, I can discern something of a meaning from it. I'd rather not post it in case other members want to try and dig it out themselves. Post some more of your poems, and chack out mine! (link in sig)

Thanks for the review! I'm glad you got something from it. When I wrote it I wasn't thinking of an audience, and after I posted it I thought it may not make much sense at all. But, the main theme is in the title.


The Voice That Lingered

Fireflies,
Emerald moss,
Spray strewn among hoarse rocks.
It lingered, poised before twilight’s falls.

Hear this;
Hear it halt the fainting night.
A dauntless horn sounds to the still gliss.

Fiery voice,
Of gem-dewy woods,
Let the ancients leave their star-hued muse.
Linger no more, lost above time's luminous falls.

Hear this!
Night is come.
A spell of flight breaks the runic bliss.

As I am finding it rather difficult to discover precisely what words might describe my reaction to your poetry, I am obliged to settle for a compliment mundane, but heartfelt: your poetry is beautiful. The Voice That Lingered is an especial favourite: it elicits at points, to my mind's eye, the sea, and limns the woods further on and throughout. The verses gleam, and every one of your word choices moves description to a more sublime level: "hoarse rocks", "the fainting night", "star-hued muse", "runic bliss". Truly beautiful! I enjoyed A Different Day as well, and liked the final two lines most of all, their tone and how they summarize the concluding thoughts of the girl (for clarity's sake, =P). The stages of the poem were excellently rendered: anticipation, the disclosure of that awaited event, the placid denouement.

I hope you post more poetry very soon, for I do love reading it. ^^ Cheers!

Thanks for your generous compliment and gratifying comments! Sorry for the late reply, but it really made my day! (You being such a seasoned writer and all. )

Dwell

Inside the hall of myths,
Where once hailed the rushing light,
A broken sconce lay among shards of ash.

Once upon in their darkest night,
By gentle torch light, he sat,
Over lore and history on worn wood.

His haughty library.
If memories were but myths.

Softly he closed the book, weary he stood.
Perhaps it was a shadow that sighed.
Beyond the trodden ground, the battles
Always won, but never gone.

Amid a flickering light,
Arched wind, heavy as the black night.
A sword swerved out from craven shelves,
The swinging pendulum.

Armoured strides.
Grave was the black knight.

He held his book, warily he walked.
‘Wait,’ he entreated, in the retreating light.
‘The battle’s won. Be gone at last.’

‘Dwell ye on pages past.’
Said the black knight; his ashen sword
Thrust upon laments fought and torn.

If memories were but myths.
Grave was the black knight.

A new poem!

The medieval atmosphere of your latest piece is breathtaking, and I love the narrative style in which the scene is limned; the take-by-take portrayals of the milieu, the character of the knight, from "lore and history on worn wood" to the broken sconce, the shadow that sighed. I imagine a shattered castle, the vestiges of its walls still precariously standing, amid the ash of ruin, a feeble light by which the black knight reads. He rises at length, stepping into the gloom, hand stretched toward the "retreating light", weariness in his battle-worn face. Of course, there is always the question if such an image is at all accurate, but the ability of my mind's eye to capture the essence of your lyrical images aside, every verse of Dwell is spectacular. Besides the qualities already mentioned by myself as being most delightful, I loved these lines:

Beyond the trodden ground, the battles
Always won, but never gone.

... and how they are expanded upon when the knight sets aside his book and rises. I couldn't really say why. The mention just seems to be the (or a) crux of the poem - "battles always won, but never gone"...

Anyway. Excellent work! Post more! =D

Thanks again for the comments, Selah!

Val...your poetry is amazing. No...amazing doesn't justify it, but that's the only word I can think of at the moment.

The Voice That Lingered was simply beautiful. Your usage of words to create the atmosphere you did for all of your poems is incredible.

Keep it up, I'll surely read more. ^^

Thank you, Lady Luck, for your generous words!

I'm glad The Voice That Lingered is so well-received.