Kiss of Death ~ Poetry

I'm going to try this again, now that I've finally gotten my work copyrighted. Enjoy.

Kiss of Death

breath after breath
beat after beat
oh my love
you work in deceit

of all I had given
or promised to thee
you may still have
and I will still be

you steal my breath
you numb my soul
must our love perish?
must we let go?

slowly, slowly
my breaths shorten, now
my heart slowly stopping
my body going down

t'was the kiss of death
you'd given to me
the love we once had
was too false to be

____

deep steady breaths
her face pressed to his shoulder
soft moonlit steps
one after another

he holds her close
dancing barefoot in the sand
he touches her cheek
she kisses the palm of his hand

rhythmic heartbeats
from his chest she could hear
the gentle little pulses
of his heart against her ear

he kisses her cheek softly
his words in a slight slur
he presses his lips to her ear
and whispers that he loves her

____

you with your beautiful mind
your words are so deep
and your thoughts so divine
alone I am as my heart rests cold
and you share your affection
but I'm not as bold
I get pushed away so easily
yet you, I know
could see right through me
my heart is a rose
my mind is a dove
I await my affection
come forth
my true love

____

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
True charm comes from the words of her lover
Friends are simply angels in disguise
In his opinion his fool words are wise
In the light a blind man sees darkness
The maiden you see is a scheming adulteress
When things appear fine; the just may not be
Do not base things upon what others see.


More to come later. <33

I was skimming through the art boards, and I noticed this.

This poetry is beautiful! It is quite vivid, and the words are placed perfectly.

I took a line from it, and made it my custom rank.

Uhm, I may just be a regular to this thread. Hope you don't mind any extra company.

^_____^

Originally Posted by Ismene

I was skimming through the art boards, and I noticed this.

This poetry is beautiful! It is quite vivid, and the words are placed perfectly.

I took a line from it, and made it my custom rank.

Uhm, I may just be a regular to this thread. Hope you don't mind any extra company.

^_____^

Whi tank j00. ^^

There once was a dark angel, who lived on a shore
No one had seen her, or loved her before
She was an outcast, unworthy of love
She fell from the sky; she lived high above
A broken heart, and dark, black wings
The outcast angel could not sing
She stood alone and hid in the shade
Her once bright eyes began to slowly fade
Her tears fell from her cheeks and into the shore
Until her tired eyes cold cry no more
Forever on, she lived alone
Someday waiting to go back home

Early one morning, a boy walked to the beach
He saw a dark figure, with long, broken wings
As he walked closer, the figure became clear
It was the dark angel; she shed a single tear
Softly he reached out and touched her cheek
She smiled and sighed, and began to feel week
Then suddenly, she dropped to her knees
She covered her face as she felt the light breeze
He took her hand, and then helped her up
He kissed her cheek softly, and filled her with love
She smiled at him, and wiped away a soft tear
For finally, she'd found the only one that could see her

Edit: A poem has been removed.

Originally Posted by MissRachel

A broken heart, and dark, black wings
The outcast angel could not sing

The rhyme scheme seems almost restrictive, here. Had you expanded on the second line of this couplet a little more, it might have fit, but, as it stands, it doesn't really... speak to me. Other than that, I like the half-rhymes throughout that poem, and throughout the poems in the first set, but it sort of detracts from the tone, in some of them.

Lovely nonetheless. Very powerful adjectives and verbs; very clear images and scenes and descriptions.

Originally Posted by LionHarted

The rhyme scheme seems almost restrictive, here. Had you expanded on the second line of this couplet a little more, it might have fit, but, as it stands, it doesn't really... speak to me. Other than that, I like the half-rhymes throughout that poem, and throughout the poems in the first set, but it sort of detracts from the tone, in some of them.

Lovely nonetheless. Very powerful adjectives and verbs; very clear images and scenes and descriptions.

Yeah, to be honest, I don't know what I'm doing, and I've never studied poetry in my life. Sometimes I'm not sure how to make it work.. and it shows. Sometimes, though, I work on a piece, get tired, and label it finished.. whereas I really could've made it better, if I'd only taken a break and came back to it.

I could use some lessons! Thanks for your criticism. ^^

Originally Posted by MissRachel

Whi tank j00. ^^

There once was a dark angel, who lived on a shore
No one had seen her, or loved her before
She was an outcast, unworthy of love
She fell from the sky; she lived high above
A broken heart, and dark, black wings
The outcast angel could not sing
She stood alone and hid in the shade
Her once bright eyes began to slowly fade
Her tears fell from her cheeks and into the shore
Until her tired eyes cold cry no more
Forever on, she lived alone
Someday waiting to go back home

Early one morning, a boy walked to the beach
He saw a dark figure, with long, broken wings
As he walked closer, the figure became clear
It was the dark angel; she shed a single tear
Softly he reached out and touched her cheek
She smiled and sighed, and began to feel week
Then suddenly, she dropped to her knees
She covered her face as she felt the light breeze
He took her hand, and then helped her up
He kissed her cheek softly, and filled her with love
She smiled at him, and wiped away a soft tear
For finally, she'd found the only one that could see her

*Hugs tightly* You know, you're very good considering you've never written poetry before. The imagery is vivid, and the metaphor rich despite the cliche. Definitely better than my first works. ^^ I've always had difficulty portraying cliches in an interesting way. I think I'll keep an eye on this thread... I hope to see more from you soon.

This poetry is awesome. I like it. u really don't need a rhyme scheme if ur just freewriting. I like it a lot. Keep it up. Hopefully i can be able to post mine.

Beautiful, that was great! keep it up MissRachel.

Originally Posted by Wielder of the Sword

*Hugs tightly* You know, you're very good considering you've never written poetry before. The imagery is vivid, and the metaphor rich despite the cliche. Definitely better than my first works. ^^ I've always had difficulty portraying cliches in an interesting way. I think I'll keep an eye on this thread... I hope to see more from you soon.

Looks like the master poet has come to visit the writings of the little people.. I definitely appreciate you criticism in particular. ^^ I'll get better, I'm sure of it.. it's my only way to release, I just need to get it together.

If you don't mind my saying so, the thought of you visiting my topic every so often puts a lot of pressure on me. Now I've got to do better. ;]

Originally Posted by MissRachel

Looks like the master poet has come to visit the writings of the little people.. I definitely appreciate you criticism in particular. ^^ I'll get better, I'm sure of it.. it's my only way to release, I just need to get it together.

If you don't mind my saying so, the thought of you visiting my topic every so often puts a lot of pressure on me. Now I've got to do better. ;]

*Chuckles* Oh, hush. You know I'm not a critical person. *Squeezes* You don't have to try harder just for me. I'm no master poet; it's a mere release for me as well. ^^ No pressure, dear. Okay? Just enjoy writing, pour your heart out onto the page, and the rest will come naturally. I just want to lend moral support in any way I can.

Originally Posted by Wielder of the Sword

*Chuckles* Oh, hush. You know I'm not a critical person. *Squeezes* You don't have to try harder just for me. I'm no master poet; it's a mere release for me as well. ^^ No pressure, dear. Okay? Just enjoy writing, pour your heart out onto the page, and the rest will come naturally. I just want to lend moral support in any way I can.

Well, thank you, again. ^^

That was beautiful ^^ Needs patching up but for a first timer you were wonderful.
I did a Haiku about the great sea and a random poem about the dark world...Not as good as this ^^

In dedication to a friend.

you are a beautiful person
a beautiful mind
a beautiful creation
of wondrous design

you are a masterpiece
one of a kind
a jewel from the heavens
a star from the sky

you are an angel
with a voice so divine
like the night you bare mystery
with the day you bring light

a man of much charm
of great impact
you are a master poet
you are Kevin Max

Kevin Max, eh? Hmm... *Chuckles* Certainly unexpected, though interesting to see a poem about a poet. Very cute.

Such brootiful poems! Not sure how you got them to rhyme. (I suck at rhyming)They are really great!

Originally Posted by Wielder of the Sword

Kevin Max, eh? Hmm... *Chuckles* Certainly unexpected, though interesting to see a poem about a poet. Very cute.

Cute, aye? I sure hope you're reffering to the poem and not Kevin. ;]
Anyway, Kevin really liked it.. I was pround of that fact.

And Sakaki-chan - Thank you.



So, this time, I'm.. going for something a little different. Again, I don't know what I'm doing here.. =] Reading it again.. I don't like it. I'm really no good at this.

hello there,
stranger
it seems it's been a while
it's been too long
it's been too hard
without you
I am walking through thorns
whereas you were once my shoes
the bloody trail is all I have
to show for it
but I've built strength within my steps
I know now what is coming
I brace myself
for I am expecting pain
but you know
there are roses,
at the end

I still see you in my dreams
but most are filled with terror and pain
I still think fondly of you
but I didn't think I could ever,
again
I remember at one time
my heart found peace within you
my body you'd console in your embrace
though that's something I'm not supposed to say
something I'm not to think about anymore
but the guilt is so strong it makes me bleed
so I'm afraid there's some mistake
because I still have feelings for you
my heart still longs to have you
my feelings are so unruly
the pain is burning holes in my heart like acid
but only because of what I did to you

the love I have now
for another
it appears to be amazing
it came as a storm
but the clouds are clearing
there are trials
as will there always be
but the love is true and has utmost value
I've dedicated me very existence to him
it's what I was made to do
and if I was made to bleed for you
till the end of time
then so be it

Mm... It's odd. This somehow reminds me of a certain song, Lips of an Angel. The prose seems a little broken at points, but overall, it's a pleasant read. Melancholy and sad, true. But most poetry is nowadays. It's a very sweet thought as well. But you know, I'd like to see some happy poetry from you.