Aztecs Pose A Very Real Threat

Here's a completely fictional article I wrote out of boredom. Enjoy.

Aztecs Pose A Very Real Threat
Could the end of the world already have happened?

In the 14th century, the Aztecs built an advanced civilization in Central America. Only 157 years ago were the ruins of these great people discovered, and for 157 years, the greatest scientists and theorists have been in a state of panic.
The Aztecs were very advanced technologically, this much we know, but what scientists are wondering is: How advanced?
Scientists have always hypothesized that the Aztecs were the first to invent nuclear weaponry, among other things, but the real question was when, and if, they will use them.
After years of research on how to contain this threat, Dr Gary Schultz of the University of California, threw the scientific community through a loop by proposing that the Aztecs were no longer alive.
"It's a simple concept, really." said Dr Schultz in a televised interview in 1996, "Scientists were so caught up in the threat of a nuclear detonation that they neglected to realize that Aztecs no longer exist." Dr Schultz then added, "Not that it's their fault, of course. I myself hadn't taken it into account until just recently."
And, as simple as that, the mass hysteria subsided and the world relaxed, until 2001, when a new theory was proposed by Dr Ralph Stanford, a Canadian scientist assigned to researching the existence, as well as nuclear capability, of the Aztecs. He proposed a much more devastating theory than before. He proposed that the Aztecs possessed much more than mere nuclear technology.
"We've known for years that the Aztecs were a very advanced civilization. One only needs to look at their vast cities to see this." said Dr Stanford at a meeting of world leaders, "Ever since the discovery of their extinction in 1996, we thought we were safe, because we were looking at it from the wrong point of view."
After a drink of water, he continued, "We've always assumed extinction of a race to be either an act of war, or an accident. What we didn't take into account is the possibility of the deliberate suicide of the Aztecs.
The reasoning behind this theory lays behind another common misconception. We've always assumed that if someone's dead, they can't commit crimes. The Aztecs knew this and saw it as a weakness, so they simply invented a time machine, deployed an undisclosed amount of nuclear bombs, and swiftly wiped out the remnants of their civilization, leaving only ruins and the inability to place the blame of them."
The Aztec's technological abilities were estimated to be hundreds, perhaps thousands, of years ahead of our current technological levels, so Stanford's theory is likely to be true.
This nullifies the question of if they will attack, seeing as they already have, and leaves us with when and where.
"We've stationed the greatest scientists in the world to invent a device to predict and, if possible, prevent such attacks." said the President of the United States in a press conference Sunday, "But with the Aztecs as our enemy, time is not on our side."