Lost (first Poem)

I am alone
With out a clone
Behind my eyes there's nothing
Behind my smile there's also nothing
Between my soul I am alone
Without a friend to comfort
With a shadow of a doubt
I am alone
I will not smile
I will not laugh
For there's no reason
I feel nothing
I see nothing
For I am nothing
I'm just an empt soul with no brain
No heart
No nothing
Refered to the lost nothing
I will not cry
I will not show any emotion
For no one cares
I'm no concern to no one
I have no one to care for
Not even myself
I stared around the darkened sky
It looks wet with sorrow
Yearning for hatred

It's sad enough to make the reader care. The way you reiterated certain things - things related to the eyes, mouth and heart - with different words makes the narrator seem truly lost.

Originally Posted by Dark Chi

I stared around the darkened sky
It looks wet with sorrow

This is really beautiful, and came as a surprise due to the change in tone - the narrator sees something, after saying 'I see nothing'.

The poem starts with a pattern... then leaves the concept of organization completely, or so it felt. It's not bad. You emphisize your point to the poem, which is good. The down-to-earth way of speaking is a good touch. example: "No nothing" and "I'm no concern to no one". Either this was intentional, or you didn't even realize you did it... it doesn't hurt the poem, mainly because you hadn't done it much.

Good read.

So sad Dark Chi... but I can relate to it. Very well done!