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  #1   [ ]
Old 06-10-2006, 12:04 PM
who are you to wave your finger?
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| - Eclipse of the Wicked - | [ Knives' Writing Sanctuary ]



Well, the title is self explanitory, but i'll give you a little insight as to what you will see here.

You will be viewing some of the songs I have written, my poetry, short stories, and just little passages that I have made out of randomness.


I'll probably be posting finished works every few days, and most likely not in any order.

You can give comments, suggestions, even requests if you would like something written.

I'll post the first thing in a few moments. Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy my writing.



(And yes, the banner was made by me.)


_______________________________


Violence

It builds up inside.
A feeling so violent, its nothing you can hide.

I'm half of what I am today, another quarter's gone tomorrow.
This dispirited feeling is urging forth my sorrow.

The deterioration of my soul is inevitable,
I'm bound to fall apart.
To stay together, I am not able.

I feel the malevolence rise inside.
Eating away at me from the back of my mind.

Come and make me bad,
Take away all the sadness that i've ever had.

Tempt me with your sinful ways,
Drown me in the bliss, instead of the pain.



| The piece above was written out of the anger I was feeling at that very moment in time. It was building up inside, and I was like a dam about to break. I am just thankful I have friends like Wielder to calm me down when i'm in those times of need. |
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Last edited by Lady Knives; 05-16-2007 at 07:44 AM.
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  #2   [ ]
Old 06-10-2006, 12:15 PM
Duct tape won't fix kittens
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Re: | - Eclipse of the Wicked - | [ Knives' Writing Sanctuary ]

I'd pat you but you happen to be mildly across the country. So instead: *pat pat*

I like the banner, it's very well-made and it reflects your style (as always).

The poem was nice (not in the "nice" sense of the word). I can empathize right there. I used to feel like that sometimes. Of course, I wouldn't always have someone to calm me down. You're very lucky to have Weilder there for ya.

I'd definitely like to see more. You're a skilled writer, and I'm somewhat attracted to the dark feel. I'm keeping an eye on this thread.
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  #3   [ ]
Old 06-10-2006, 12:21 PM
marthie marth marth <3
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Re: | - Eclipse of the Wicked - | [ Knives' Writing Sanctuary ]

Wow. Violence, in keeping with its title, is very intense. It builds up, as though the first line were not only describing the sensation of anger, but the progress of the poem as well. The poem waxes further, until it reaches a climax it never appears to mount from. The last two verses seem to embrace the anger. I get the sense that anger's fire can burn so heatedly that it becomes an anodyne, taking "away all the sadness", drowning you in its furious bliss.
Quote:
I'm half of what I am today, another quarter's gone tomorrow.
This was my favourite line. It's poignant, one of the kindred sensations of anger.

I look forward to reading more from you Lady Knives!
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  #4   [ ]
Old 06-10-2006, 12:29 PM
who are you to wave your finger?
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Re: | - Eclipse of the Wicked - | [ Knives' Writing Sanctuary ]

Thank you very much! I am glad you enjoyed my poem.

I have tons more where that came from. Most are just little passages but as my Language Arts teacher told me.

"It doesn't matter how small or big the poem is. Each word is important. How you use each word is tremendously vital to the poem itself."

-Mrs. Fisher.



Here's another one I wrote not too long ago.


Aquarious Felicity

Transparent Vibrance
Like silk slipping through my fingers
Reap me of my sins
Wash away the filth that lingers

Ensnare and entice my senses
Let me feel the cold of your touch
Let me bathe in your glory
The feeling that I long for so much

Take me into your satin embrace
Manifest yourself around me, bring the chill
I hear the softness of your voice
So smooth but so shrill


I planned this out even before I wrote it. When I was on Catalina Island, I had been in the ocean for the first time since I had moved back to California. When I was in the ocean water, I realized how much I missed the feel of it. I kept cupping it in my hands and letting it run through my fingers. I swear I almost spaced out for about 10 minutes just thinking about the water and its properties to write something of it. Hope you like it. <3
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  #5   [ ]
Old 06-10-2006, 12:42 PM
marthie marth marth <3
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Re: | - Eclipse of the Wicked - | [ Knives' Writing Sanctuary ]

And another comment for m'lady.

Water is in every line of Aquarious Felicity. Its qualities are depicted in each clear, liquid line, to the point that one feels in the midst of some calm, lapping pool. Each word is well chosen, bringing forth the pellucid essence of water. Ah, and I love the quote you began the post with! Very true, aptly put. Cheers to your LA teacher.
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  #6   [ ]
Old 06-10-2006, 12:46 PM
who are you to wave your finger?
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Re: | - Eclipse of the Wicked - | [ Knives' Writing Sanctuary ]

Once again, thank you very much. And goodness, I love my Language Art's teacher, she's awesome.
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  #7   [ ]
Old 06-10-2006, 01:00 PM
wizzzaarrrd!
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Re: | - Eclipse of the Wicked - | [ Knives' Writing Sanctuary ]

Violence

The words are simply enough to start stirring up that emotion inside of me. I don't think you have any idea how well that was written. When I read it, images popped into my head involuntarily--it's hard to do that. This is an amazing peice of work.

Aquarious Felicity

I've never seen a poem about...well...water...that was so powerful. Again, images surged through my mind, and I want to go to the beach really bad right now. Thanks a lot, Lady Knives. -.- (Haha, just kidding. ^^;; ) Great work. You better freakin write more.
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that what we want doesn't always matter. But then again, sometimes it's all that does." - Mick St. John



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  #8   [ ]
Old 06-10-2006, 01:03 PM
who are you to wave your finger?
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Re: | - Eclipse of the Wicked - | [ Knives' Writing Sanctuary ]

Thank you very much Awbri.

Oh goodness! I didn't know my writing could do such things.

> <

Well, I hope at least some of my poetry has good effects, though most of it is quite dark. I plan on writing tons of poetry tonight when I go up to the desert to visit family. I'm coming back tomorrow though, so no worries. <3
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  #9   [ ]
Old 06-10-2006, 05:13 PM
Sage of Wisdom
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Re: | - Eclipse of the Wicked - | [ Knives' Writing Sanctuary ]

Awesome poems, Lady Knives! Both poems are very clear and rich in texture.
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  #10   [ ]
Old 06-12-2006, 12:26 AM
who are you to wave your finger?
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Re: | - Eclipse of the Wicked - | [ Knives' Writing Sanctuary ]

The Demon Inside

There was a slight ting, which echoed throughout the room; there would be nothing more. Not even the breathing of the two warriors would be heard, just a grave silence. In reality, there were not two people to be seen.

Just one.

Pale skin, almost like porcelin, glimmers with a fresh coat of sweat. Dark, shadowed eyes remain open, as they had been all the time before, unblinking. They were pitch black, the whole surface, like a metallic ocean washing over. There was an eerie glow which surrounded her eyes. Soft breaths, which come to deaf ears, pass pale-pink lips.

Deathly sharp incisors protrude from the warrior's mouth, hanging just a bit below her lips. Pure Darkness. Ebony locks frame an emotionless face, the blank, unfeeling look haunting enough to send a chill down any being's spine.

This is the time to decide...
Do you wish to stay alive?
Or is this the time for you to die?

The young woman falls, as that dark voice calls.

Unwavering, flawless, unnerving.


Alright, this passage. I came up with this in Algebra, when I was supposed to be doing homework. I couldn't even focus because I was in such a morbid mood. This is what I expelled it all as. Hope you like it.
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  #11   [ ]
Old 06-12-2006, 10:04 PM
wizzzaarrrd!
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Re: | - Eclipse of the Wicked - | [ Knives' Writing Sanctuary ]

Oh...Jesus. These two lines sent a crazy surge through me.

This is the time to decide...
Do you wish to stay alive?


It heightens my senses to everything you just described about the 'demon'. Makes it all so real. Your voice is so strong, it seems to come right off the page. More, more, MORE!
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[These Guys Will Show You Inescapable Doom]

"Maybe it's the sum of a million coincidences we don't quite control that brings us to a particular place
at a particular time, or maybe it's the choices we make, the actions we take. If there's one thing I've learned in 85 years, it's
that what we want doesn't always matter. But then again, sometimes it's all that does." - Mick St. John



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  #12   [ ]
Old 06-13-2006, 08:54 PM
who are you to wave your finger?
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Re: | - Eclipse of the Wicked - | [ Knives' Writing Sanctuary ]

My Poison

I cannot catch you now,
You've fallen too far down.
I cannot hear you now,
You're too far underground.

I cannot see you now,
The darkness is too strong.
I cannot feel you now,
This cold darkness has been here for too long.

Try and seek me out,
My voice you cannot hear.
Try and hold me now,
My body is nowhere near.

Try and see me now,
I'm nothing but a silhouette, a forgotten shadow.
Try and reach me now,
I'm far too high above ground now.

My first, my dearest,
It's what you'll always be.
My love, my closest,
To what I thought was meant to be.

My pain, my heartache,
It's what you'll always be.
My poison, my drug,
This yearning will always plague me.

Try and catch me. I've fallen into darkness.

Try and feel me. The cold has numbed your fingertips.


Now with this piece, I was intensely depressed, and a bit of anger was burning within me as well. This was written after my first, Nick, broke up with me. I hold no sour feelings towards him anymore, but I haven't had any contact with him since he left. It's true though...
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  #13   [ ]
Old 06-13-2006, 09:20 PM
Duct tape won't fix kittens
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Re: | - Eclipse of the Wicked - | [ Knives' Writing Sanctuary ]

Wow. It's so powerful. It brings back memories of my own. Nice dark little things, they are.

Another wonderful poem by the blackest writer I know. Great job!

Quote:
Try and seek me out,
My voice you cannot hear.
Try and hold me now,
My body is nowhere near.
Great lines right there. Those stood out the most to me.
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  #14   [ ]
Old 06-13-2006, 10:38 PM
Gerudo Thief
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Re: | - Eclipse of the Wicked - | [ Knives' Writing Sanctuary ]

I read the first two... I don't think I could read that much dark poetry in one sitting.

"Violence" is quite excellent. Although the third line in the third stanza kind of threw me for a loop. Have you thought about going back and adding a third line to the sixth to round it out, or did you do that on purpose? (EDIT: She did it on purpose, I just copied this from an IM to her)

"Aquarious Felicity", well, I don't have anything really to say about it than excellent job!

Keep up the good work! I'll comment on the rest when I'm not half-asleep! Lol.
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Old 06-14-2006, 06:43 PM
who are you to wave your finger?
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Re: | - Eclipse of the Wicked - | [ Knives' Writing Sanctuary ]

Phantom Prince

I leave this place, dear phantom prince, to go and find where you have left me. I'll find my way, my evening shade, and once more your lips will cause me to stumble. My skin longs for your darkened embrace, your gentle touch, and my eyes for your handsome face. Must you tease and taunt me so, manifesting my thoughts, my dreams, grabbing 'hold of my soul. I'll find you yet, my darkest, most venemous angel. I'm yours until the end of time.

"I'll ravish your soul, my angel, your body, and your mind..."
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