The Chaos Inside My Head

Here they come, you cannot run. No more happiness, laughter or fun. Feel yourself slip into the cold dark shadows where evil lurks. Who ever thought youd be a part of these crazy quirks? Your soul gently cries as the final moments are near, while the rest of your body is filled with fear. Theres no going back, you must continue on. The life you once knew and loved is now gone.

Originally Posted by Milhouse

Here they come, you cannot run. No more happiness, laughter or fun. Feel yourself slip into the cold dark shadows where evil lurks. Who ever thought youd be a part of these crazy quirks? Your soul gently cries as the final moments are near, while the rest of your body is filled with fear. Theres no going back, you must continue on. The life you once knew and loved is now gone.

Please can you explain the purpose of this thread? I predict its a poem of some sort. Very interesting, with riddles in. Nice work, though I have an incling this may be in the wrong place. It makes sense even though it rhymes! Which is a rare thing, so anyway, nice job Ending is sad and symapthetic. Favourite bit:

Your soul gently cries as the final moments are near, while the rest of your body is filled with fear.

So thats what its like to have a Chaos in your head? Nasty.

That was very cool Milhouse! However, it'd probably be easier to read if it were seperated in lines. Than again, perhaps the lack of lines helps signify chaos, and it's like that on purpose. Hehe, it was still cool. The rhythym could use some work, as there are some lines that are either too short or to long, but overall, it's a very nice poem. The two lines I particularly noticed didn't fit with the rhythym were
"Feel yourself slip into the cold dark shadows where evil lurks.
Who ever thought youd be a part of these crazy quirks?"
They go great together, both being similar length, but in the poem overall they don't really seem to fit. I'd love to read more of your work!

Oh, an interesting poem Milhouse; I enjoyed reading it. I actually liked the lack of lines; it gave a chaotic feel to the poem, as southern belle mentioned. The last line, in particular, was very sad. Wow, do continue posting poetry!

- Selah

Originally Posted by Milhouse

Here they come, you cannot run. No more happiness, laughter or fun. Feel yourself slip into the cold dark shadows where evil lurks. Who ever thought youd be a part of these crazy quirks? Your soul gently cries as the final moments are near, while the rest of your body is filled with fear. Theres no going back, you must continue on. The life you once knew and loved is now gone.

I feel your poem so profoundly - well done, it is truly an excellent piece of Writing, It was well written!