[Act] Rebound (T)

Chapter One

Metana City – 3:00 AM

Rebound perched on top of a flagpole, surveying the streets. Not a soul was to be seen, and quite frankly, the vigilante was bored. As he leapt from the flagpole, he began to think about his past, and how he had gotten started.

Michael Thornred had always had a love of medical science, ever since he got his first doctor set when he was three. That was why, one year ago, he had agreed to undergo an advanced medical procedure, designed to make his bones nigh indestructible. He still remembered the feelings of apprehension he got as he climbed into the radiation chamber, as the waves passed through his body, changing the very molecular structure of his bones.
Then his world had exploded, literally. He still had never discerned the cause of the chamber’s combustion. All he could remember was waking up in the middle of the scorched room, surrounded by dead scientists. His hair had been scorched off, and his clothes had been shredded.
He had stood up, and made his way to the exit, right as a chunk of rubble fell from the ceiling. He had looked up, and saw that he was going to be crushed. He had braced for the end, and was surprised when the rubble had bounced right off his shoulders.
After a bit of experimentation, he found that his bones could now take the energy of impacts and store and release it as necessary. This allowed him to jump to great heights, and bounce off of any surface. He could absorb any impact, as long as he was expecting it, and if his bones could not store all the energy, the excess was used to repel the object, automatically, explain how the rubble just bounced off of his body.
His first thought had been, How do I use these powers? He was a medical assistant, and so it became clear that he could not hurt people, and that it was his civic duty to help people. The best way to help people, he had decided, is to save them.
Through this series of events, he had designed himself a black and white costume, and donned the mantle of Rebound!

A scream and the sound of gunfire brought Rebound back to reality, and his first thought was, Finally, some action! He then swiftly reprimanded himself for being so callous, and headed towards the source of the disturbance.
Little did he know that the upcoming encounter would change his life forever.

Nice. You have a very fluid and engaging style. I like that it's concise. I do think that the flashback could have gone into a little more detail, if that's the core of chapter one.

Thank you very much. Chapter Two will be coming soon, and I'll try to remember that. I appreciate the comments.

Originally Posted by Nittles

Chapter One

Metana City – 3:00 AM

Rebound perched on top of a flagpole, surveying the streets. Not a soul was to be seen, and quite frankly, the vigilante was bored. As he leapt from the flagpole, he began to think about his past, and how he had gotten started.

Michael Thornred had always had a love of medical science, ever since he got his first doctor set when he was three. That was why, one year ago, he had agreed to undergo an advanced medical procedure, designed to make his bones nigh indestructible. He still remembered the feelings of apprehension he got as he climbed into the radiation chamber, as the waves passed through his body, changing the very molecular structure of his bones.
Then his world had exploded, literally. He still had never discerned the cause of the chamber’s combustion. All he could remember was waking up in the middle of the scorched room, surrounded by dead scientists. His hair had been scorched off, and his clothes had been shredded.
He had stood up, and made his way to the exit, right as a chunk of rubble fell from the ceiling. He had looked up, and saw that he was going to be crushed. He had braced for the end, and was surprised when the rubble had bounced right off his shoulders.
After a bit of experimentation, he found that his bones could now take the energy of impacts and store and release it as necessary. This allowed him to jump to great heights, and bounce off of any surface. He could absorb any impact, as long as he was expecting it, and if his bones could not store all the energy, the excess was used to repel the object, automatically, explain how the rubble just bounced off of his body.
His first thought had been, How do I use these powers? He was a medical assistant, and so it became clear that he could not hurt people, and that it was his civic duty to help people. The best way to help people, he had decided, is to save them.
Through this series of events, he had designed himself a black and white costume, and donned the mantle of Rebound!

A scream and the sound of gunfire brought Rebound back to reality, and his first thought was, Finally, some action! He then swiftly reprimanded himself for being so callous, and headed towards the source of the disturbance.
Little did he know that the upcoming encounter would change his life forever.

You have a few issues with punctuation and grammar.
*Puts on teacher's hat*
*Puts student's hat on Nittles*

Now, then.
Our first lesson is the comma.
Commas are often SEVERELY overused in writing. People think that you need a comma just about everywhere. This is not correct. You use a comma in several places:
1. When listing three or more things. Ex: I need bread, milk, and eggs.
2. When joining two complete sentences into one compound sentence. Ex: Tyler drove to the store, but he forgot to bring his wallet.
3. After interjections. Ex: Dude, where's my car? Hey, what's that? No, I don't think so...
4. After a character speaks (only applies when you are going to put "Blah blah blah," she said.)
Here are places you do not need commas:
1. Complex sentences. These are sentences which cannot be separated because there is a dependent clause. Ex: Tyler drove to the store but forgot his wallet.
Notice that there is only one subject: Tyler. If you had said "but he forgot his wallet," then it would make that two complete sentences joined together. However, "forgot his wallet" is not a complete sentence. This means that the above sentence does not require a comma.
2. When joining two sentences together without a conjunction such as "and," "but," etc. In this case, use a semicolon.

Originally Posted by Nittles

He still remembered the feelings of apprehension as he climbed into the radiation chamber, as the waves passed through his body and changed the very molecular structure of his bones.

Specific example. There should be a semicolon between "chamber" and "as." You are joining two sentences without a conjunction. If you try to use a comma, you create an awkward run-on sentence. It should look like this:He still remembered the feelings of apprehension as he climbed into the radiation chamber; as the waves passed through his body and changed the very molecular structure of his bones.
You'll notice I also eliminated your second comma and changed "changing" to "changed." This is due to the rule that you may not change verb tenses during a sentence. You would have to have separated that part and made it into its own sentence to keep it as "changing." Ex: He felt it changing the very molecular structure of his bones.
I also eliminated "he got." This is because it would be redundant to say so. "He got" is another way of saying "he felt," and imagine saying "the feelings of apprehension he felt." It sounds repetitive, doesn't it? Either change it to "He remembered what he felt" or "He remembered the feelings of apprehension which plagued him" or just say "He remembered the feelings of apprehension as he climbed into the radiation chamber."
As a rule of thumb, try to avoid saying "got." It's usually a replacement word for something like "felt," "acquired," "became," etc. Use the specific word for the situation. Don't say "got sick," say "became sick."

These are just a few pointers. There are a few other issues, but my neck is sore and my brain is tired, so I'll leave off here. Reread these basic writing rules and do some editing to your story to make it look more professional.


But all in all, it is a very promising story. It will look even more promising if you edit it up nicely