My Band's New Song

My band and I are writing a new song and I think I've got all the lyrics finished and wanted to see what people think of it, so here.

1
I don't wanna live this lie anymore, it just seems like I'm not sure anymore.
If I could ever undo this tragic ending I would, I'd undo everything I could.
But when I say no I feel a feeling that's just so cold, I feel as if there's no hope.

*Chorus*
Well, let's undo everything we could ever imagine!
Let's undo our lies, rid ourselves of these personal trials!
I'm left in my wake of poetic pain. Now shut up, it's for my own gain!
I don't want to live this way anymore, even when you would.

2
Out the door my memories flow, into stow, into harmony!
Over and over and over we try. You'll never see these tears I cry!
We never told any worse stories, always without any form of warning.
It'll always pass you by, even when I don't try.

(Intrumental Break)

*Chorus*
Well, let's undo everything we could ever imagine!
Let's undo our lies, rid ourselves of these personal trials!
I'm left in my wake of poetic pain. No shut up, it's for my own gain!
I don't want to live this way anymore, even when you would.

3
Even if I choose to come, you'll never learn where these feelings come from.
And this tragic ending has softened my feelings, made me more open.
And I will not try to hurt you anymore, I will not try to hurt you anymore.
This one and only undoing of tragedy, it'll bite you eventually!
The only way to escape is by not the edge of the blade!
But by the arms of those you can trust, follow them you must!

*Chorus*
Well, let's undo everything we could ever imagine!
Let's undo our lies, rid ourselves of these personal trials!
I'm left in my wake of poetic pain. No shut up, it's for my own gain!
I don't want to live this way anymore, even when you would.

4
Even whilst the walls fall beneath our feet, you'll learn the meaning of life!
It can just be too good to let go, to just pass it by.
Do not ignore the calls of fate, don't envy them and hate.
Just keep moving, that's all you can do is keep moving.

(Repeat Verse 2)
Out the door my memories flow, into stow, into harmony!
Over and over and over we die. You'll never see these tears I cry!
We never told any worse stories, always without any form of warning.
It'll always pass you by, even when I don't try.

*Chorus*
Well, let's undo everything we could ever imagine!
Let's undo our lies, rid ourselves of these personal trials!
I'm left in my wake of poetic pain. No shut up, it's for my own gain!
I don't want to live this way anymore, even when you would.

(Instrumental Until End)

Yeah. I like it.

So what is the genre? Hmmm, sounds a little punk, anyways, i like your choice of words bro, keep it up!

Thanks. The genre is a cross between metal and soft rock. And it's a little punk influenced. Also, if you'll pay attention you'll notice that this song has a message to it (hint: it's about suicide).

It's pretty good. I agree with Tralithnar-good word choice. It kept it from becoming too cliche...The fourth verse is my favorite =]

You should get some more songs up here; I'd like to read them.

How organized! You numbered the verses! I'd have to say the second verse is my favourite. Yup, it's a really great song!

wow now i know quite a bit of music and if you went out world wide (if when you do.) you would have a lot of fans including me so keep it up and if you put the music on your computer pm me with a link or something... and so GREAT JOB.