(Fan/Act) The Sixth Architect [M]

Chapter One - Shattered Innocence


The girl pulled the sheets tightly against her, unconsciously attempting to negate the morning chill which permeated her pavilion. Her fair face prickled pleasantly with the night dew strewn upon her cheeks and her shut eyes shifted in uncertainty as she drew closer to awaking. She lay upon her side on a white divan, her golden hair scattered unceremoniously upon the multitude of pillows which supported her head. With a gentle sigh, her azure eyes slowly blinked open and she turned over on her back, taking in the moist air of dawn which filled her lungs with renewed vigour. She raised her arms above her head in a contented stretch, relishing in the fresh scent of a new day, and drew down her covers revealing the white tunic she wore which lay wrinkled about her legs. The plush carpet upon the floor tenderly caressed her toes as she rose up and sat at the edge of the divan, slowly stroking her long lustrous hair in an endeavour to tame the curls which had formed overnight.

Her stomach grumbled in protest for her lips had not tasted solid nourishment for four days, her diet restricted to naught but milk and honey. Such was the way of the initiation, a strict fast to cleanse the spirit and body of all impurities. Yet her thoughts inadvertently diverted to where she knew they should not, and the image of him whom she had loved seemingly throughout her seventeen summers flooded her heart. With an almost complaining realisation she pushed such memories out of her mind. The law was strict; all initiated priestesses must remain pure virgins throughout their life in the temple. Consolation drifted over her as she contemplated her future serving the goddess Kateran, it was a great privilege to be chosen as a priestess, and it would bring her family honour. The goddess would be her life from now on; the goddess would keep her blessed and secure, accommodating all her needs and never abandoning her. She had no need of the volatile passion that was love.

With an air of unbidden elegance, she arose from her resting place, modestly bending to settle the creases of the linen tunic about her calves. She walked across the pavilion to a narrow bench upon which lay her toga, the dress she would be required to wear during her initiation ceremony together with the other new priestesses. The girl ran her fingers along the soft material, from the ornate buckles which embellished the shoulder straps down to the folding pleats which decorated the ends of the dress, indulging in its smoothness. Picking it up in reverence, she unfastened the cord binding it and wrapped it around her body, proceeding to tighten the fabric about her waist. She passed her hands over her garment several times in slight nervousness, trying to remove invisible crinkles. Bringing her arms to her chest, she took a deep breath and prepared herself for what awaited her.

Pushing past the fabric which withheld entry to her pavilion, she stepped outside, her bare feet borne upon the green grass. The sun was barely over the eastern mountains, veiled in a hazy turmoil of ginger and cherry. Looming clouds were moving in from the south east, threatening to envelop the plains below in relentless downpours. Wisps of morning mist floated over the woodland landscape, drifting amidst the coniferous vegetation which bordered this elevated clearing, upon which the temple of Arkustrata lay. The imposing structure was supported by a multitude of elaborately carved marble columns, with a particularly ornate pair upholding a domed atrium before the temple's entrance. A magnificent dome crowned the rear of the rectangular building, giving it the air of a flamboyant cathedral.

The encampment from whence the young woman had come was some distance away, situated upon the southern slope of the gently inclined mound on which the temple stood. Though outside the clearing, the area was sparsely wooded, making the structure clearly visible. She surveyed the camp for a moment, searching for a sign of her fellow candidates. Realising that she was probably the last to awaken, she began a fretful trot towards the temple, her cheeks slightly blushing with anxiety and fear at being late for the sacred ceremony. Coming within a short distance of the structure, she sighed with relief, for the other aspiring priestesses were gathered before the entrance, chattering excitedly between them as they waited to be summoned by the high-priestess. Content she had arrived on time, she stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and a smile spread across her lips as she spotted a familiar face.

"Yanaya, good-morning!" she bellowed at another girl who stood amidst the conversing crowd, talking excitedly to a small group of adolescents. The girl separated from the crowd, and mirroring the smile of her lifelong friend, she began to walk towards her. The lass had long, dark hair and slightly tanned skin, and was slightly shorter than her friend, despite being a full year older. Yet her posture and expression were more matured, she was further accustomed to womanhood and her blonde companion seemed almost childish in comparison.

"Aliana," the woman replied, embracing her friend in greeting. "I trust you have rested? We don't want you to fall asleep on such a day as this," she mused.

"No, we do not", Aliana replied, her smile broadening even more. "Well... although I was almost at risk of sleeping through the entire ceremony. Why did you not awaken me?"

Yanaya's smile slightly dimmed, her expression showing slight irritation. "It is not quite my duty to see to your waking time. I simply assumed your age would allow you to show the necessary responsibility to a matter of as much importance as your initiation ceremony."

The girl's smile faded, her eyes appearing somewhat hurt by the comment, and her cheeks lit up with a mix of shame and indignation. She found herself looking down at her toes. "You do know you are but a year older than me, do you not? Why do you treat me as if I'm but a child?" she questioned, not meeting Yanaya's eyes.

The young woman's expression softened up as she assessed Aliana, and she replied in a more moderate tone, "Because you frequently behave like one. Now come on, I did not mean to distress you, I apologise if I seemed somewhat harsh. It’s just that you should show greater care towards your obligations, especially now that we're becoming priestesses."

Looking up, the adolescent responded, "Perhaps you're right... But still, you're making too much of an issue over it this early in the morning. You're my friend, not my parent."

Yanaya sighed wearily. "Fine then. I just felt somewhat annoyed that you were expecting me to be responsible for awakening you this morning. It is purely your responsibility."

Aliana opened her mouth to retort, but was rudely interrupted. A deafening sound exploded from the east, resounding over the hill and across the plain. The sound was like that of a horn or trumpet, yet it was unlike any she had ever heard. The call was answered by an identical one which originated from the south-west, and a third one echoed from even further south. All the women ceased their chattering and looked towards the sparse trees to their east, apprehension and anxiety mounting across their expressions. A veteran priestess rushed out of the entrance to the temple in order to investigate what had occurred. Something was moving through the distant trees, unsettling a multitude of birds which held the treetops as their home, causing them to fly away in distress. A low, steady rumble spread through the ground at their feet, gradually increasing in amplitude with each passing moment.

Without warning, a violent lashing resonated from the source of the disturbance, as if something very heavy had been tossed with enormous strength. Before the sound had barely registered in the girl's ears, a gargantuan chunk of rock flew through the air above them, and landed with a horrendous crash upon the temple's large dome. One side of the dome broke off and collapsed to the insides of the structure, whilst the wall supporting the destroyed part crumbled and fell apart as well. Aliana was at a loss, she could not comprehend what was happening. This could not be real; it had to bet a dream. Nothing like this could be happening, the temple was under the goddess' protection, and she would never allow any harm to come to her followers. Yet as she looked around, the women were bewildered and shocked, almost in panic. Even her friend, Yanaya, seemed unable to do or say anything.

The shaking of the ground was now almost overwhelming; with every quake Aliana's heart skipped a beat both in fear and astonishment. An immense number of figures seemed to be marching westwards among the now quivering trees, forming a front line which spread from the temple all the way to the south. It was nothing short of an army. The armoured figures formed rank upon rank in the distance, some of those at the very front bearing banners of some unknown faction. And then a nightmarish creature, which marched some way ahead of the progression, stepped out of the line of trees no further than a hundred yards from where Aliana stood. The being stood at eight feet in height, with legs akin to those of a goat and a warty skin which was a sickly shade of blue in colour. Above the waist it seemed to be not much different than a man, yet vastly stronger and bulkier, but its appearance was obscured by the heavy armour it wore, which was completed with a horned metal helm. Hung over its back were an immense black bow with a quiver full of arrows and a grisly battle axe, and in its hand it held an ivory horn. The creature brought the horn to its mouth and sent another deafening call trough the air, which was swiftly answered by another two calls from the south-east.

Investigating its surroundings, the creature that seemed to have command over the marching army waved for his underlings to proceed. The ranks began to enter the clearing, the hideous forms of the soldiers easily visible. They were fairly human-like in shape, yet they were repulsive, dreadful creatures, wearing ragged garments and rusty armours, brandishing clubs and swords, spears and axes. The leader slowly turned towards Aliana, until he looked her in the face, and only then did she realise she was on her knees and had been screaming. Many of the girls had fled or hidden inside the temple, others had fainted and others were huddled together in despair and panic. Rolling behind several ranks of soldiers was a ghastly device of wood and steel, and unto it a pair of gigantic beasts, perhaps fifteen feet in height, were stacking a huge mass of stone, under the commands of several soldiers, who manipulated them with chains and whips. The commander blew his horn once more, this time sending a different signal. The device made a creaking sound as its components set to motion, and the boulder was flung into the air, where it was supplemented by yet another chunk of stone launched from further south. Both rocks plummeted towards the injured temple, colliding viciously upon its walls and causing a great part of it to concede and cave in, sending clouds of debris in all directions.

As if on cue with the ensuing destruction, the blackened skies burst open with relentless rain and streaks of lightning flashed across the horizon. The commander had resumed his march, the scores of vile underlings following ardently behind him. Aliana felt a tight grip on her shoulder, and spinning around in surprise she came to face with Yanaya, whose eyes were wide with fear and terror. She tugged at Aliana to follow her, but she lay bewildered for a few seconds before mustering the courage to rise and flee. Even as the two women sought to escape the advance of the army, the commander reached for his bow, and with a malicious grin notched a black arrow and pulled back on the thick string. Taking a brief moment to aim, he elevated the bow slightly, and let loose the shaft.

Aliana halted. She had been running alongside Yanaya; now she was on her own. Turning around in abrupt horror, she saw a body on the muddy ground, soaking in the rain, a dark arrow protruding from its back. The girl rushed towards it, constantly shouting the name of her friend, her eyes agape with dread and streaming with tears, her stomach clenched in nausea and repulsion. Kneeling down besides her, she took hold of Yanaya's shoulder, shaking her whilst calling out her name in panic. Gathering what sanity she had left, she turned her friend over and saw her eyes, shocked, fearful eyes which were staring at oblivion. A slender bead of blood trickled out of Yanaya's mouth and flowed down her cheek. Aliana slowly stepped back, her hands held over her mouth in terror, her eyes still wide in disbelief. Looking ahead in the distance, she saw her friend's murderer reach out to retrieve another shaft from his quiver. In all her panic and alarm, her most basic instincts came into effect, and driven by fear of pain of death, she abandoned the body and fled for her life towards the nearby forest.

She had no notion of where she was heading, her only concern to place as much distance between herself and the army which marched at her heels. The rain continued unhindered, growing ever stronger as the storm swept over the plains. Aliana's clothes were completely drenched, the bitter wind clawing at her bones and causing her to shiver uncontrollably. Her thighs began to burst aflame with pain at the exertion, and her extremities began to grow numb with cold. Consciousness slowly fading away, she suddenly halted and lay against a tree trunk, her lungs gasping for breath. She began to uncontrollably slump to the ground, and with a final exasperated sigh, her eyes rolled up and she collapsed onto the muddy soil, her mind falling into a hazy void...

A very good beginning--with the right blend of character development, imagery, and rising action. You know just enough about what's going on to paint a picture in your head, but not so much that you have a clue as to what will happen next.

Good job.

Oooo...I liked this very much! ^^ You do a really great job with description, and everything seemed to flow very nicely. Keep it up! I can't wait to see more from you! ^^

What description! This first chapter is truly beautiful, but what more, so exciting! You display an excellent handle on imagery (vivid and engaging), character (I really look forward to learning more about Aliana, and what she'll do now that she's been so forcefully propelled from her safe zone. That was a brilliant initiating incident, by the way. It's as though it's showing how any fictive character should be forced from their safe zone, their temple of Arkustrata, into the main story... but my apologies, I'm rambling) and action. (Oh, I'm paraphrasing LionHarted! I just realised. Well, to be succinct, I concur with his remark ^^)

Anyway, excellent work. I look forward to reading more!

I thank you for your comments guys. I have much planned for this story, but I have no idea when I'll be able to post another chapter. However, I won't forget about it, so keep a lookout for an update.

One Word: Nice

That was definitely worth reading. I hope you're able to get more of it up soon. ^_^

Im jealous, I really am. You must have taken a lot of classes to learn how to write so well. It read so smoothly, the words just flowed. Youre definately becoming a writer arent you?

Awesome, Andúrhil. When you writing more? guess you kinda persuaded me to read it anyway...

Originally Posted by Noone in particular...*cough*

Read my fic!

I could imagine the whole scene in my mind as well.

Good job. I can see the flow of words, unlike some other people, who have no talent to write at all..

Holy. Crap. Phenominal writing. I could really learn a thing or two from you regarding imagery. In my book, there is far too little imagery, and I need to find a way to lengthen chapters, or else the book will be too short. Keep up the good (Good? Great works so much better here.) work. I look forward to more of your writings!

...Okay. It's been... almost two years since I've posted Chapter One... but here's Chapter Two ^^;




Chapter Two - The Son of the King


Fierce clashing echoed across the courtyard as the gleaming blades cut through the airs and met in brutal collisions again and again. The adolescent had a grim determination forged upon his expression as he struggled with all his might to over-power his opponent. Yet the ageing man remained steadfast and unyielding, countering the youngling's assault with relative ease. This seemed to aggravate the young warrior even more so, as he renewed his efforts to dominate.

Casting the boy's weapon aside with a strong parry, the man spoke sternly, "Son, you must not attack in anger. It could very well be your undoing in battle."

The boy kept silent for a few moments whilst regaining his footing. Briefly contemplating a somewhat rash course of action, he dashed into the fray once more, his sword lashing wildly at his opponent. He proceeded to reply to his father’s scolding in brief bursts of speech, punctuated by the clanking of steel upon steel, "I... am... not... angered!"

On concluding his sentence, he failed to register a feint initiated by his father and sought to parry, gravely leaving himself open to attack from elsewhere. The attack manifested itself as a slash across the boy's sword arm. Though it was but a shallow cut, it still managed to draw blood, and the adolescent dropped his weapon in dismay, his free arm clutching his wound, his eyes cast down in indignation.

The older man lowered his weapon and moved towards the boy, his expression now brimming with compassion, and patted his son's shoulder in encouragement. "Do not belittle yourself; your skill with the blade is commendable. But you must remember: your greatest enemy is yourself. Only if you master yourself can you hope to subdue your opponent." Grasping the boy's chin, he gently elevated his son's head so that they were eyeing each other. "Now, go get that injury looked at," he concluded, releasing the adolescent.

The boy looked up out of his own accord, his eyes still exhibiting slight exasperation. "Yes, father," he replied. Retrieving his discarded weapon from the plush grass on which they stood, the boy gave the blade a twirl between his fingers, before turning to leave. He disliked how his father always seemed to hold him back, their practice session right now being a prime example. Many times he had asked his permission to serve at the northern borders of the Frozen Lakes, keeping the Kuruth' Adra at bay, but every request was met with denial. He being heir to the throne was probably a reason for his father's overprotective attitude, but it filled him with so much anger not to be able to do anything aside from reading dusty history books and being tutored into the ways of royalty.

As he reached the stone arch which marked the beginning of the stone-laid pathway leading back to the castle, his ears picked up the tell-tale sound of a horse's gallop.

Turning towards the open gates of the courtyard, he saw a soldier dressed in the black garb of the Akenaren army ride in on horseback, coming to a halt a few paces away from the boy's father. Dismounting quickly, he kneeled before the man in reverence.

"My liege," he proclaimed, before standing back up to his full height. "I come bearing grave news. We've just received word that the Kuruth' Adra are invading Grekania. Many of the outer cities have already fallen, and they're moving for the capital."

The king’s eyes widened in worry at the news. "Why have the Grekanians not sent word of this earlier? And how in Savirox's name were the Kuruth' Adra able to muster forces for such a campaign?

"Their motives elude me, my liege. As for the Kuruth' Adra, they are always intent on spreading their vile clutches across the land."

Sighing, the monarch placed his hand to his forehead and gently massaged the top of his brow. "Summon the Council of Akenaren. Send word to General Atharen that I want him present. And I want the messenger there as well."

"I'm afraid the messenger is... dead, my liege."

"What?!" exclaimed the king, lowering his hand and looking straight at the soldier. "How did this happen?"

"He arrived at the gates gravely injured, and our Healers were unable to undo his injuries," he quickly replied. "I barely had enough time to extract the message from him before his spirit waned."

"Then I want you there in his stead. What is your name, soldier?"

"I am Kreneth Arkenon, Lieutenant of the Akenaren Army, at your services my liege," he responded, bowing slightly.

"And how old might you be, if I may ask?"

"I shall have lived through twenty-four summers in little less than three moons, my liege."

"Very well,” the monarch replied. “Now, see to my bidding."

"Yes, my liege," the lieutenant answered, bowing once more, before turning to mount his horse.

Before the soldier could ride off, the king raised his hand to halt him and spoke once more. "One more thing, lieutenant. Have you any family?"

"A loving wife and a beautiful daughter, my liege. Savirox has blessed me with good fortune."

"I see. You may be off."

The lieutenant nodded once, before pulling on the reins and riding out of the courtyard.

Sighing once more, the monarch softly whispered to himself, "What fortune is there when the future is clouded in the fog of war..." Turning towards the main entrance of the castle, the king began walking towards the innards of the structure.

The boy hid behind one of the stone pillars supporting the arch as his father walked by, not wanting him to realise that he had overhead the discussion. After seeing him disappear into the depths of the castle, he sheathed his weapon and moved away from the pillar, making for one of the stone benches lining the edges of the courtyard. Sitting down, he took another look at his wound, which was already starting to dry up, even though it stung quite enough. Crossing his arms over his lap, he began to contemplate what he had just overheard.

****

Anya happily walked about inside the castle dressed in her plain yet elegant white dress. She still had not gotten used to the magnificence of the place, even though her mother had been working as a maid for over a year now. The mark of grandiose architecture was very hard to ignore, and very much harder not to be awed by the never-ending marble floors, the gargantuan halls and chambers, the exquisite fabrics used in tapestries and curtains, and the general elegance of royalty. Of course, she knew she'd never experience any of this first-hand. She might be walking about care-free at the moment, but she knew she would eventually continue in the same line of work as her mother when she came of age. But seeing as she was a mere sixteen summers old, she still had a few years of care-free leisure left to her.

As she began moving towards the courtyard to get some fresh air and a little sun, her thoughts inadvertently turned to the Prince. Ever since she had first seen him, she felt as though something had changed inside her, and she couldn't help blushing whenever he looked at her. They had never really talked, he didn't strike her as the talkative type, and she was far too shy to start up a conversation with him. But she couldn't help dreamily hoping that somehow the Prince held some feelings towards her.

Stepping out into the light, she looked around the octagonal courtyard. Her eyes widened for the briefest of instances as her gaze fell upon the Prince sitting on the bench, seemingly lost in his thoughts, and a smile spread across her face as she began to timidly walk towards him.

The boy had sensed nothing of her presence, his mind focused on how useless he felt inside these walls and how much glory he could gain in the upcoming struggle. It was his greatest opportunity to finally be able to show his mettle, and in a way he felt grateful that the war with the Kuruth 'Adra had re-ignited. It had been almost a hundred years since they had last attempted a mass campaign, and the alarming thing was that the Akenaren border watch at the Frozen Lakes had not taken notice of their preparations. But then again, they weren't attacking Akenaren, they were invading Grekania. If they succeeded in conquering it though, Akenaren would be under assault from two fronts, as it bordered directly with Grekania.

Anya sat down on the bench a few inches away from him, her feet shuffling about nervously, and turned her bright green eyes towards him. "Good morning, Prince Anaren."

The boy's thoughts interrupted by her sweet voice, he became aware of her presence for the first time since she had entered the courtyard. Shifting his gaze slightly towards her, but not turning his head, he proceeded to respond in the blandest voice imaginable, "Good morning."

Hiding the hurt she felt at the blatant lack of interest he showed towards her, she gathered her remaining courage and tried to start a conversation once more. "Um, do you know who I am, my liege?"

"You're one of the servant's children, are you not?" he responded half-heartedly.

"Yes, yes I am. My mother works as a maid in the castle," she replied cheerfully. "Actually, I'm training to follow in her footsteps when I come of age. Oh, and my name is Anya, by the way."

"That's nice," he said in an apathetic tone.

Looking down in dejection, she saw the boy's arm and noticed the bright red slash along it, and unconsciously placed her hand on the wound, stroking it slightly. "Your arm, it's hurt..."

Anaren turned towards her at the sensation of her fingers on his skin, locking his brown eyes with hers. His gaze lightened for a moment as he stared into her emerald pools, before hardening once more. "What are you doing?"

Somewhat captivated by the soft gaze he gave her at first, she took a few moments to come to her senses and understand what he had said.

"Um... Your arm... I thought..." she stammered in response. For some reason she found herself unable to pull her hand away, and instead felt something urging her to hold him more. Before she realised what she was doing, her other arm rose to stroke his cheek. With the outmost concern on her features, she leaned closer to speak to him. "Are you okay, what happened?"

The sensation of her touch on his cheek took his breath away, leaving him unable to respond and staring at her awkwardly. His gaze slowly drifted down to her lips which moved gracefully as they formed syllables and words. And then it dawned on him just how close they were to each other and that his pulse was quickening.

Snapping out of his enchantment abruptly, he realised just how vulnerable she made him feel at that moment, and anger began to well inside him at how weak he had just become. His features hardening suddenly, he lifted his hand and slapped her across the cheek.

The force of the impact tossed strands of her ginger hair over her face. Uttering an audible gasp, the hand stroking his face retreated violently, and her other hand was reflexively placed over her reddening cheek. Her gaze fell to the ground as her eyes brimmed with tears. Her hand moved to cover her mouth as she looked up at him with a hurt and shocked expression, her tears cascading down her youthful cheeks.

Her expression filled Anaren with a tinge of guilt as the girl started to sob in her hand. Sliding off the bench away from him, she stepped a few feet backwards, her hurt emerald eyes burning into his own. Before the Prince could utter an apology of any sort, she turned around and started running away, sobbing loudly.

The Prince's gaze followed her as she moved back inside the castle, a growing sense of uneasiness building inside him over the consequences of his actions. As she disappeared back inside the imposing structure, his expression hardened once more as he looked down in annoyance.

"No-one asked her to come here," he thought to himself. "It's not my fault this happened."

It took him a few minutes before his guilt could subside, along with his anger towards Anya for making him feel guilty in the first place. His thoughts slowly drifted back to what he had overheard earlier, the news about the advance of the Kuruth' Adra. The mere thought that somewhere far beyond the horizon war was being waged against the onslaught of those dreaded beasts, while he was held back and contained inside this castle, infuriated him even more so.

He was well versed enough in politics and war to know that his father would haven no choice but to send military aid to Grekania, if not for diplomacy’s sake then for the safety of the Akenaren borders. And in his heart he longed for the war to start and Akenara to become involved in the conflict, so that he might have more chances of actually seeing some combat and attaining, for once, some glory for himself.

But he couldn't wait that long, not with what he now knew. And then it suddenly dawned on him that he could go with the army which would almost undoubtedly be despatched to Grekania. His father, of course, would never allow it, but he could always sign up in secret under a false name and no-one would know it was him. He had never even met the general his father had mentioned, and if his instincts were right, it would be him who would be put in charge of the force which would be sent. And even if it wasn't, and someone were to recognise him, he could always deny it and just attribute any similarity with the Prince to mere chance.

****

Anaren didn’t lay eyes on his father again until the next morning. The monarch never told his son much about the concerns of the kingdom, in an effort to shield him from the burdens of being a successor to the throne and allow him to live out his childhood with relatively few concerns. However, he had never seen this carefree behaviour in his son. The Prince kept mostly to himself, never sharing his thoughts or showing much emotion, seemingly never really enjoying life. And this worried the King, making him uneasy about putting more responsibilities on his son’s shoulders. The reason he had shied away from assigning him to army duty was because he doubted such a closed child could last long under the stress of defending the borders of Akenara. Even though the boy showed much enthusiasm to join the army and was quite formidable with his sword, to the king’s eyes it seemed more like childish anticipation rather than mature ambition. And the front was definitely no place for children.

The Council had been unanimous. A military force of the Akenaren Royal Guard was to be sent immediately to aid the struggling Grekanian forces. Messengers had been despatched to inform the Grekanian king and the army was already being assembled. The conquest of Grekania posed a very real threat to Akenara, seeing as its loss would leave it exposed to the Kuruth’ Adra on two fronts. Akenara might be the strongest nation on the continent, but her forces can only be spread out so much before they’re inadequate to defend her.

****

A group of large tents had been erected on the large plain outside the southern gate of the grand capital of Akenara. Young men with ages ranging from late teens to mid-twenties had gathered, forming a queue to one of the larger tents closest to the city. The Prince stood in line wearing clothes of quality unfit of his status, trying his best to blend in and hide the fact that he was the King's only son.

"State your name and age," came the stern voice of the recruitment officer as he examined the boy.

"Derion, son of Meriden. I am eighteen," he announced as confidently as possible, his voice quivering slightly. This is what he had wanted for so long, a chance to prove his worth in combat, yet now that he was so close to achieving his goal he felt terrified.

The officer lifted the boy's chin upwards, scrutinising his features carefully. The boy tried hard not to let his fear show, even though the man's gaze filled him with dread that his real identity had been revealed. Releasing him, the officer turned to the soldier next to him and received a bundle of folded clothing crowned with a helmet. He offered the bundle to Anaren, adding a sheathed sword beside the helmet.

"Welcome to the Akenaren Royal Guard, Derion son of Meridon," the officer declared with a strained smile. The boy nodded and followed after the rest of the recruits.

Breathtaking. The prose is gorgeous; your descriptions are flawless, especially in the second chapter; not too wordy, not overly simplified. One of the best peices I've ever seen on this site, hands down. The only complaint I have is all the names of all the major characters you used in these chapters beginning with A... but I'm sure you did that on purpose and it wasn't really all that confusing considering you did not introduce them all at once.

Just one question; is this going to be a slow-paced story, or are you going to update more often from now on? Not trying to hassle you- I know how long it can take to put something good out, especially something good on this level- just curious.

Again, I can't say this enough, amazing! I absolutely look foreward to seeing more of this, should you choose to post it.

Hehe, thanks for the comments ^^;

As for the multitude of names starting with "A"... I actually hadn't noticed that until you mentioned it. Maybe a little editing is necessary... >>

And uh... I have no idea how often I'll be updating. It could be within the month, or in a year XD So, no promises there

Anyway, thanks again for reading it.