We Are Humes! (Song for Humulation Chronicles)

When I was creating the Humulation Chronicles, I did a number of things for it, including writing two songs. The second song, which I now call the HA fight song, is "Onward, My Soldiers!"

Now I'm sharing with you the first song.

It was to be a spoof of "I'll Make a Man Out of You" from Mulan. This part of the episode "HA Bootcamp" was actually going to be a bit of a musical number and it was planned to have a bunch of people singing this. The Humulation Chronicles where canceled though, so we never got around to it.


Background: A new group, called the Dark Void, has risen and wants to destroy the Humulation Army. Hombre calls for General Blizzaga to train the new members of the HA in order for them to be ready for anything.




Anyways, here's the song:

We Are Humes! - by Blizzaga


Let's get down to business, to defeat the Void
Listen to my teachings, or you're unemployed
You're the n00best bunch I ever met
But you can bet, before we're through
Just wait, I'll make a Hume out of you!

Skillful as gamer, but a sage within
Once you find your center, you are full of win!
You're the lamest, dumb, amusing lot
And you never had a clue:
Somehow, I'll make a Hume out of you!

I'm never gonna pass this class!
Say goodbye to those who loved me!
Why was I a n00b at Zelda theorizing?

This guy’s got me drilled to death!
Hope this bad mistake won’t fail me!
Now I really wish that I knew how to sing!

(Be a Hume!)
You must be tough as a hardcore gamer!
(Be a Hume!)
With all the smarts of a rich tycoon!
(Be a Hume!)
With all the strength of a raging flamer!
Unmerciful as a hot summer in June!

Time is racing t’ward us ‘til the Void arrives!
Heed our every order, and you might survive!

You’re unsuited for the rage of war
So pack up! Go home, you’re through!
How could I make a Hume out of you?

(Be a Hume!)
You must be tough as a hardcore gamer!
(Be a Hume!)
With all the smarts of a rich tycoon!
(Be a Hume!)
With all the strength of a raging flamer!
Unmerciful as a hot summer in June!

We are Humes!
You must tough as a hardcore gamer! (We are humes!)
With all the smarts of a rich tycoon! (We are humes!)
With all the strength of a raging flamer!
Unmerciful as a hot summer in June!




Want to see what the song looks like when it's put into context of the script? You're in for a treat!




Song from the HA Bootcamp script:


Blizzaga:

Let's get down to business, to defeat the Void
Listen to my teachings, or you're unemployed
You're the n00best bunch I ever met
But you can bet, before we're through
Just wait, I'll make a Hume out of you!

Skillful as gamer, but a sage within
Once you find your center, you are full of win!
You're the lamest, dumb, amusing lot
And you never had a clue:
Somehow, I'll make a Hume out of you!

Trainee 1: I'm never gonna pass this class!
Trainee 2: Say goodbye to those who loved me!
Trainee 4: Why was I a n00b at Zelda theorizing?
Trainee 3: This guy’s got me drilled to death!
Midori: Hope this bad mistake won’t fail me!
Trainee 1: Now I really wish that I knew how to sing!

All: Be a Hume!
Blizz: You must be tough as a hardcore gamer!
All: Be a Hume!
Blizz: With all the smarts of a rich tycoon!
All: Be a Hume!
Blizz: With all the strength of a raging flamer!
Unmerciful as a hot summer in June!

Time is racing t’ward us ‘til the Void arrives!
Heed our every order, and you might survive!

[to Trainee 3] You’re unsuited for the rage of war
So pack up! Go home, you’re through!
How could I make a Hume out of you?


All: Be a Hume!
Blizz: You must be tough as a hardcore gamer!
All: Be a Hume!
Blizz: With all the smarts of a rich tycoon!
All: Be a Hume!
Blizz: With all the strength of a raging flamer!
Unmerciful as a hot summer in June!

All: We are Humes!
Blizz + All: You must tough as a hardcore gamer! (We are humes!)
With all the smarts of a rich tycoon! (We are humes!)
With all the strength of a raging flamer!
Unmerciful as a hot summer in June!

[Aralith enters to make a cameo appearance]

Aralith: Man, that was SO LAME!

Blizz: DON’T QUESTION MY DISNEY FANBOYISM!!





So there you go! Questions? Comments? Regrets?

Blizz... that is exactly the kind of thing I would say if I saw the entire Humulation Army singing to Mulan songs.

However, Disney fanboyism aside, it's pretty good for what you were trying to do.

Continue the good work, my friend.