Clockwork Love

Long ago there was a man with a heart as pure as gold. Every day, he would go into the marketplace to sell his wares-- watches, clocks, and all manner of delightful mechanical gadgets. One day, a lovely young woman from the aristocratic corner of the city stopped by to peruse his shop. The man was instantly smitten with her. She picked out an ornate watch and brought it to the counter. When she pulled out her purse, however, the man refused. He handed her the watch and wrapped her hands around it. She looked into his eyes and smiled, and he had never felt more content that at that moment.

A few days later, the woman stopped by his shop again. The man decided that this was his chance-- he would confess his feelings to her. When he did so, she smiled. She smiled not as one who had just found the love of her life, but as one who had seen a dog do a cute trick. It was devoid of sincerity. The man thought long and hard about this. That night, he carved out his own heart which was, quite literally, made of gold. He placed it in a beautiful box and set it aside. In his heart's place (because one finds it awfully hard to function properly without a heart) he built the most elaborate watch anyone had ever seen. He sewed himself up and went to sleep, his heart on the table next to him.

When the woman showed up the next day, the man presented her with the box. She was delighted, and her eyes glowed when she saw the beautiful heart that was inside. She kissed him lightly on the cheek, but something was wrong. He could not feel a thing. He realized that suddenly he was empty inside. He needed to get his heart back. That night he visited the young woman's home. He told her that something was wrong, and explained the entire situation to her. She looked ashamed and when he asked what was wrong, she informed him that she had sold the heart earlier that day, not realizing it's full value. The man did not know what to say. She told him that the merchant she sold it to had left and returned to his home in some far-off land.

The man could not cry. He could not be angry at the woman, nor disappointed or anything else. He simply looked her deep in the eyes as the watch in his chest gave one last, futile tick.

Personally, I have a disliking to love poems, stories and songs, but I liked this piece of literature.

I literally did nothing but just thought for about 20 or 30 seconds after I finished the last sentence.

It's truly amazing how much power a small piece can accumulate with so few words.

Your piece's words did contain a bit of flavor, but not so much, in my opinion (the part of literature which is my weakness, actually), yet you still managed to convey profound power, as opposed to superficial (which flavor of words can convey if a piece is lacking in profound power).

Well done. It was a good read, and certainly worth the reader's time.

(Also, I couldn't help thinking about Pirates of the Caribbean throughout the piece. )

Wow, thanks :B

Er yeah, I might've been just a tinybit inspired by PotC... <_<

I'm very glad you enjoyed the read! I'm thinking of actually taking the time to rewrite this piece now that I've got the general idea down on (cyber) paper... I wrote this all just off the top of my head because I couldn't sleep last night.

I really like the idea for the story, but it could be longer and more descriptive.

the story itself is really nice, though. I'd like to see it fluffed up a bit

I'm not the kind of person to bump threads (except for that mock character thread, please don't hate me, Ciro!), but I'm going to go ahead and bump this. I honestly really like it the way it is, so I'm not going to edit it unless more people tell me to. Stubborn? Maybe.