Some Scant Poetry: "Angst in Progress"

Dawn comes slowly from the distant tides
Alone I wake, the sheets uncaring
Cold is the house, the stone walls bare
Tell me now...where have you gone?

What happened to those summer days
When we would run in fields of gold
An odyssey setting out from waves of amber
The journey that led me away from you

The ocean crashes upon my shores
Reminding me of moonlit nights
And those fateful rains that washed you away
And I am unforgivable

I go in to town, seeking friendship
An empty world is all I find
Careless hollows of sleek and sexy
Stuck in traffic without you

Finding comfort in strange places
Who she is; it doesn’t matter
All I am thinking of is you
And I am unforgivable

I take a plane back to home
Back where I think you’ve gone
Drifting alone in those dusty streets
Your house in Sonara lay empty

And the rain longs for the desert

Your eyes are haunting me
From some unknown space
Never again to see
Your angelic face
Hating myself for letting you go
And more than ever feeling unforgivable

Why won’t you come back
Why can’t you see
That the rains keep coming to my shores

Why won’t you save me
Why can’t you try
To set me free from myself

I return home, back to the sea
Searching for you among the stars
Maybe I’ll see you again someday
When the desert returns to the ocean

Winters in the northern mountains
Springtime in fields of green
Friends long held in time immemorial
And faces, thousands of faces, never to be seen again

It’s hard to breath
Thinking of those who have fallen
Such a small world
Subject to such a wondrous amplitude

I long for those who I met before
Fleeting, their names and faces
I remember them as who they were
Crude matter forgotten

So deep, the breadth of life’s decay
How is it possible to live with loss inconceivable
The strength of the human soul
proves to be far-traveling indeed

I gaze into my daughter’s eyes
My own immortality come to pass
And I ache at the pain she is to endure
The anguish of loss, love, and life

The worth of an experience well-lived
The cost of a heart well-tested
Pales in comparison to the mass of humanity
Awaiting on the other side of the veil

Awaiting the Great Conjunction, when all things fade
And the universe lays quiet for a time

Very deep. I love how don't rhyme every stanza. Lovely.

Thanks!


Wind stands still at the edge of the world
Where the sidewalk ends and crumbles, where nothingness rests
Precariously dangling, you float in the stars
My hand on your wrist keeping you moored for a time

No need to rush
It’s like learning to fly
To drift in perpetuity
No need to breathe
To fall through earth and time
When my song is the air you shall sail

Like a paper castle caught in the rain
We are drenched in the scintillating starlight of giants
Your wings sprout in the form of rivers
Glistening in the sweetness of your effervescent eyes

I call to you
Singing my goodbyes
Colors and silk woven with notes so silent
Forming the tapestry
That tells of your flight
From the ends of the earth and beyond

And I let go

So high you soar into the heavens
So brightly now you shine among them
The contrast of the sun failing to eclipse
Forever now shall you be my night sky
And I the distant, notional world of your dreams

The dreams of the immortals
The immortality of dreams

Shadowing my steps
Like a thief in the twilight
Morose angels guide my way
Chasing me to the macabre

Gothic nightmares ensue
Horrors enlaced within night terrors
Unable to wake, nightmares entrenched
Fangs of steel tear at my flesh

Familiar faces and well-visited places
Paint the scene of my demise
Why do they hurt me, these friends of mine
A mercy killing, my fall from the heavens

I try to fight, but can’t seem to ascend
I try to run, but trip and collapse
I try to scream, but deaf ears cannot hear
When you are alone in the oubliette of your mind

And so I die
And like Prometheus, am reborn to die anew

I watch from afar, my avatar in shambles
Seeing oneself fall begs oneself to pause
And watch in hollow agony
And listen with craven fascination

A wicked elegy in the depths of night
The allegory defining your existence dressed in Latin
Is what we see what we fear
Or perhaps what we truly desire

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2t87TWp1Nxg

Water flows down the narrow straits
Like silk passing o’er a lover’s face
The rocks below caressed by time
Descendants of those left behind
From the birthing of the world

Craggy faces greet the high sun
Fathers and mothers joined as one
The highest peaks stretch for the heavens
The miracle of life born betwixt the sevens;
Mathematical precision in the chaos of nature

A sacred sepulcher untouched by man

No footprints scar the mountain hence
No standing monument, no barbed wire fence
No roads, no trails, no mark of any kind
No disease or death here will you ever find
In the fields of gold and copper

Clouds of white blanket the stars
Masking their brilliance, off so far
The dark breathes chill as the moon takes flight
Showering the mountainside in reflected sunlight
So their creation may never go alone

And time’s weathered soul, indelible and yet fleeting
Slowly evolves as we await that great meeting
Of the twelve great houses that will stand in a grand chorus
At the end of the world as those four colored horses
Come riding onto the plains, proclaiming our doom is nigh

And again this world shall be untouched by man

Life’s lessons are learned so well
When the hardest knocks take your breath
When hellish nightmares destroy your routine
And you remember why you’re still living

Time is ever changing like the stars up above
Making you age, inching closer toward your demise
You recall the promises made in younger days
To live life to the fullest, to the nth degree

But when hope has faded
Your situation taking root
You become that hollow creature of habit
And forget how to sail upon the winds of aspiration

You stray from the path designed just for you
And you slowly erode, dying on the inside

But there still is time to shed that mantle
Of intolerable stagnation and fear
Time to set things right and live once more
In the limelight of your own existence

Your swan song is to be a beautiful farewell
As you ride the currents of Styx and Sanzu
Ready for your next adventure in the great beyond
For death is not as cruel as it seems

Another candle burns in the night
Restless hearts beat alone
In the fallow nights of infinity
And in the dreams to which we so desperately adhere

Under the setting moon
Our eyes begin to drift
Dreamless sleep then takes flight
True rest from toil and thought

Intermittent solace from the mad man’s muttering

Such visions to be seen
Such breadth of prophecy and regret
I see what I fear, what I desire
And faces long lost to the wind

Never alone, dreams are still solitary
I long for comfort in the darkness of my psyche
Please stay with me, and never let me wake
For I have not the courage to ask for more

But the dawn still breaks
And agony remains

Once in a lifetime
In your darkest solemn hour
A second chance is gifted
And the walls are laid to waste

But your current course leads to apathy
You know you wither within
You do nothing to circumvent the inevitable
And fall into your own snare, willingly

The last day among the dying
The stars shimmer defiantly
Their immortal strands reflect off your eyes
And yesterday is entombed in tangible nothing

Heaven’s gates stay closed for you
Outside, a hellish longing ensues
You had not the courage to take that step
To fulfill that second chance’s saving grace

Judging eyes cast down their nobility
Lathering you in regret and a soul’s famine
A lesson to be learned?
Holy vengeance

Stagnating, you crumble
Immortality is now your curse
All you can see is those bright walls
Shunning all who chose freedom of mind

Only the chained shall remain free

You plead for forgiveness
Though mercy knows not these halls
Wounded soldiers are abandoned
Even though they fought the good fight

Hail the victorious dead

The night burns late
My pen furiously scribbling
So close to the end, to finding the answer
To a riddle drenched in time

My heart crushes against my ribs
The fear intertwined with elation
For so long have I chased this ghost
Clutching it’s ephemeral promises of deliverance

But then a whispering breaks my engrossment
Though I know alone I should be
Glancing around to the darkened corners
Nothing is visible, though a presence remains

I stand to my feet and smear my eyes
Wiping away the sweat and tears
I must be tired, working so rancorously
Desperate to finish that which I have begun

Turning to the right, the elongated hall my aim
The shadow returns, passing down to the basement
I quell my fear, though know I am only denying
The fact that the answer has come

Scrawled on the floor in streaking fumes
Made with a skeletal hand
"Keep passing the open windows"
Chills my core, prickling my neck

I hang my head in sorrow
For my work is not yet done
But too soon has the harvester come for me
Come to save me from the binds of cognitive content

Hand in hand within death’s shroud
I abjectly scratch those last forlorn pages
Burning down the world both above and below
Leaving nothing but ash and dust for sustenance

And I say goodbye
And pay the price of good behavior

Weary of the rules and games
Tired of acting like I don’t care
Gone are the days of
Bleeding for a cause
And knowing when my next meal will come

Looking back at those days
Carefree nights of fire
Friends in harmony, unison
Falling into discord
Falling into apathy

One step at a time to our demise
We give all for immortal mercantilism
But Gods from above still thunder
Demanding sacrifice
And I now carry the reaper’s sheaf

The stepping stones crumble
The helping hands turn cold
And the reason?
To appease intangible desires
To pray to false hopes

But I fight the hunger

Why do I solider on?
Is it indifference? Self-malice?
The truth lay naked
Within my grasp
And yet I shy away

The air grows thin upon the mountaintop
The water thick within my lungs
But I keep coming back for more
Driving nails into my mind
Leaving my vitality to dwindle in despair

Once I felt so young
Impervious, albeit jaded
A quarter of a century burned
Though I am close, so close
But time rubs against me

And I still fight the hunger
Even when it devours me from the inside

Memories blending with the rain
A friendly arm keeping me warm
In this moment I am never alone
But it is not to last

Twenty years makes a lifetime
When last met, children we were
Separated by life and those never-ending changes
Not the same, but feelings remain

When you lose something important
You never forget
When you gain something immortal
You never remember
And when you give up the ghost
You’re never the same

I never shed a tear as they lowered you down
Cold, alone, to rest forever in repose
So fast, from so far away, you were taken from me
And everywhere I turned I saw your green jacket
And prayed I would see you there

Never again would a funeral I attend

Words I never told you
Until life’s pain caught up to me
Godspeed my friend, lost that Christmas night
So I could go on to find you again

Be at peace, boy in green
Playing soccer forever in the heavens
And running through those infinite green hills
Spared the pain of a life burned too long

The first true friend I remember
The first friend I lost to the cruel tide
Brothers, we always shall be

Oh wow. Your recent poems are very nice. I particularly liked "Give up the Ghost". I look forward to reading your future writings.

Well, lately my poetry has been more self-inspired than randomish fantasy. I'm not entirely sure why...maybe it's a sign that I'm getting old. I guess another reason could be that my novel has been in a pretty emotional patch the past couple of chapters, and, since it's only four chapters away from completion, it hasn't been letting up any. Maybe I'm just being overtly inquisitive of myself to prepare for the feeling of release that is just around the bend.

I dunno. I failed psychology.

Memories surface
As I’m standing in the rain
So long since I’ve been home
My thoughts drift to you again

You left me dying on the inside
A hollow shell of the man you knew
Bleeding forever, I’ve lost my way
My knuckles white against the pew

Father forgive me, for I have sinned
It’s been twenty-six long years
Confess I will not, for I am not done
The night burns long, as will the tears

Not vengeance, but punishment

Down and broken I will leave them
Mirrors of myself, cut into tatters
As they fall, so, too, will I
Until none are left; none are un-shattered

A message to those of the fold
I am coming for you tonight
Brace yourselves for pain and suffering
Have the father read you your rites

The rain washes it all away
But I still feel the same
Torn and wretched within
And tomorrow it will begin again

No, not vengeance
Punishment

Darkness settles as I fall to my knees
Praying for forgiveness for what I need
These walls of air are choking my tears
Wounded, in my mind I bleed

I feel like a soulless monster reborn
Roaming the wilds without a home
The world above stifles my dreams
Filling with empty and hollow

I open my veins for a moment of rapture
Each time the feeling coming on faster
Though now fading away before it is done
Leaving me but heartless and woe

Cringing alone, I suffer my choices
Refusing to release those buried dark voices
No, this asocial mark I must bear
The label of withering lament

Pale amber liquid saturates my blood
Turning from light into viscid mud
Smothering me from without and within
I cannot and will not let go

Holding on tight
Bare knuckles white
Plague is my namesake
And so I draw closed
The living deadlights

Moonlight caresses the swaying heather
Wind pushes breath across the cool night sky
A serene quiet blankets the fields of blue-hewn gold
And calmness settles o’er the soul

Alone with one’s thoughts, they effervescently drift
From face to face, lifetime to lifetime
Infinity beckons, but God still lay hidden
Beyond that veil of glittering darkness

The Great Attractor lies in the distance
Pulling with invisible strings it’s host
Churning – creating – over an nth of eons
Us but a grain in a desert of perpetual genesis

Such grand beauty; chaos unleashed
The Grand Experiment still in it’s infancy
Much yet to learn, the universe needs
And a long, violent road it will be

Stars will implode, black holes will consume
Radiant winds will wither the flesh
Fiery rock will rain down from the heavens
And yet the mockery of God continues

But here, on our speck, we shall wait and watch
Hoping to survive the next great wave
That comes more and more as time ebbs on
The coming of the end of days

Time passes by like the hills of the sea
In perpetuity repeating, an eternity to be
Carrying lost memories, pushing them ashore
And they just keep coming, coming forevermore

Though less they become, more feeling than face
Slowly they fade, and yet with dire haste
As if you don’t wish to want or recall
As if you don’t want memory, no, not at all

But then there was you

The wrinkles on your face tell me life is depleting
But the child in your eyes tells me looks are deceiving
On this ocean blue we shall sail to the ends
To forget what may lie over the next crest or bend

Our sails are tattered, our keel warped and cracked
The wheel no longer responds, the rudder in pieces-hacked
So blindly we flow with time’s leading edge our guide
And the will of the ocean we are driven to abide

For slower and slower the waves now come

The air has become colder, stiff upon my lungs
Crisp and biting, it clings to bare skin
Autumn takes root as the days grow shorter
And darkness envelopes more than light

And with the darkness comes yet another vice

Madness blankets society as does the snow
Trading labor for intangible wealth
And again for base desires
And again for waste and wasting

For we are to believe that a new year comes
A purge of our indiscretions
But come too late and to our sorrow it does

How do you measure the worth of a person?
Blood for coin, spirit for paper, soul for stock?
Lost is the semblance of promise for our youth
And opportunity becomes choice in a sea of platitude

And why do we do what we do?
Oneness, safety, a sense of belonging?
All signs point to a fear of the unknown
And my pain runs deep from the stain

Never before have I felt so hollow
So full of words without meaning or color
And now that I’ve found my voice I see that which is good
And can no longer justify the means

For the end itself is not worth one iota

Very nice.