The Noble Exhumed -- Nightmares Pile Like Bodies

Thanks, Selah. You're always welcome here.

*hugs* ^ w ^

You know I named this thread this just to get massive hits for the bleakness of it.

The Icon of the Devotees
A Congruent Crush

A storybook wedding held without air, beyond stars.
Take the time to run out of breath asking why.
I know no poetic device for these weightless avatars,
They know what they do and they take great pleasure.

Mythical, some can say laughable, and yet why so attractive?
An echo of a primeval dream resounds, and
All these paper walls seem to fold into their shadows.
Thin barriers recede. Then can we really say who owns the skin?

The course and the goal seem so remote, now.
I will embrace you like the spider, with all of my many arms
That reach into tenses even I cannot see.

Where is the end if you choose the alternate road?
The snaking way bestows gifts only to souls left open.
Difficulty? Everything worth doing is a task of demand.

It is hard to weigh meaning when words are but roses
cut and thrown in a vase of transient glass.
To be plain, sometimes you feel like you are mine,
and my ears go deaf to the Sphinx’s cry.
All she speaks is a mystery.

Originally Posted by The Shademan

The Icon of the Devotees
A Congruent Crush

A storybook wedding held without air, beyond stars.
Take the time to run out of breath asking why.
I know no poetic device for these weightless avatars,
They know what they do and they take great pleasure.

Mythical, some can say laughable, and yet why so attractive?
An echo of an primeval dream resounds, and
All these paper walls seem to fold into their shadows.
Thin barriers recede. Then can we really say who owns the skin?

The course and the goal seem so remote, now.
I will embrace you like the spider, with all of my many arms
That reach into tenses even I cannot see.

Where is the end if you choose the alternate road?
The snaking way bestows gifts only to souls left open.
None other can hold this wealth.

It is hard to weigh meaning when words are but roses
cut and thrown in a vase of transient glass.
To be plain, sometimes you feel like you are mine,
and my ears go deaf to the Sphinx’s cry.
All she speaks is a mystery.

This is simply beautiful. Not only do you have a way of putting words together to make your meaning subtle, but you also craft images that are poignant and striking. I'd try to pick a favorite line or a favorite stanza, but as I told you earlier, I love the whole thing. There is a sense of longing for something that seems just out of reach and yet at times can seem very attainable. I love the emotional conflict present.

*applauds*

Stranger Sacrifice

Kissing fiends found respite in an alcove.
Painfully, we ran through the motions
until mastery left us with beliefs so secure.
We were deep throating daggers in a cemetery grove.
Practice proceeded in hopes to succeed
beyond impassive limits that--

care for us not--
Love us lovers not--
So the frame surrounding passion rots
like an ancient coffin returning to the Earth to
seek out new forms from formlessness.

You were my guerilla love, perpetual ambush
in these forests of the underbrush, lush
and filled with darkly wonder.
Hearts loaded softly into chambers
to let this roulette begin.

Apologies, all you intense believers.
The stranger abstains from psychodrama
And is no more or less stable than you.
You know I'm just particles in your billion suns
Watching us carbon cartoon characters scream
"How could I lose...?"

Originally Posted by The Shademan

Stranger Sacrifice

Kissing fiends found respite in an alcove.
Painfully, we ran through the motions
until mastery left us with beliefs so secure.
Russian Roulette engaged with emotions
We’re deepthroating daggers in a cemetery grove
Practice proceeded in hopes to succeed
beyond impassive limits that…

Care for us not--
Love us lovers not--
So the frame surrounding passion rots
like an ancient coffin returning to the Earth to
seek out new forms from formlessness.

Apologies, all you intense believers.
The stranger abstains from psychodrama
And is no more or less stable than you.
You know I'm just particles in your billion suns
Watching us carbon cartoon characters scream
"How could I lose...?"

One of the best I've ever read from you, my dear. I especially enjoyed the second stanza and it's subtle, somewhat unexpected rhyme, though it does nothing to interrupt the fluidity- rather, it contributes to it. The whole poem really flows quite nicely without sounding longwinded at all. All in all, another beautiful, thoughtful piece :].

Originally Posted by The Shademan

Stranger Sacrifice

Kissing fiends found respite in an alcove.
Painfully, we ran through the motions
until mastery left us with beliefs so secure.
Russian Roulette engaged with emotions
We’re deep throating daggers in a cemetery grove
Practice proceeded in hopes to succeed
beyond impassive limits that…

Care for us not--
Love us lovers not--
So the frame surrounding passion rots
like an ancient coffin returning to the Earth to
seek out new forms from formlessness.

Apologies, all you intense believers.
The stranger abstains from psychodrama
And is no more or less stable than you.
You know I'm just particles in your billion suns
Watching us carbon cartoon characters scream
"How could I lose...?"

Okay...while I'm trying to think of what to say overall about the piece, let's examine a few nitty-gritty things:

Kissing fiends found respite in an alcove.
Painfully, we ran through the motions
until mastery left us with beliefs so secure.
Russian Roulette engaged with emotions
We’re deep throating daggers in a cemetery grove
Practice proceeded in hopes to succeed
beyond impassive limits that…

While the line "Russian Roulette engaged with emotions" is probably a favorite of mine, it seems...somehow out of place in terms of flow. You have two complete thoughts on either side of it. Perhaps, if it had connected to the next line or so, it wouldn't have been quite so jarring.

The use of "we're" is also jarring, I think. Since it is "we are," that is the only present-tense verb used in this stanza, and I'm not really sure why. I don't think anything would be lost if you were to use "we were" to keep your tense parallel.

I don't like ellipses in poetry. X3 So, if I'd written this, I wouldn't have used those there. But that's just me. Since it seems that you want that last line to flow directly into the next stanza, perhaps you could leave out the ellipses and turn "care" into a lower-case word.

Care for us not--
Love us lovers not--
So the frame surrounding passion rots
like an ancient coffin returning to the Earth to
seek out new forms from formlessness.

I like this stanza very much. I wouldn't change a thing.

Apologies, all you intense believers.
The stranger abstains from psychodrama
And is no more or less stable than you.
You know I'm just particles in your billion suns
Watching us carbon cartoon characters scream
"How could I lose...?"

The only suggestion I have to offer for this stanza is to consider not capitalizing the first word in every line, since you don't do that in the rest of the poem.

Overall, this is an intricate piece with a good bit of enriching imagery. Sometimes, it is hard for me to know exactly what you're trying to say, but most of the time, it doesn't matter since you have a gift for putting words together in ways that tease both the intellect and the emotions. I like that you don't write poetry in which there is no question as to what you're talking about. That leaves much room for readers to draw their own conclusions and form their own interpretations without fearing they'll be completely wrong. Wonderful work.

The Incredible Broken Compass

I am the sword that has gone astray, the shield that crushes the bearer.
I am the friend of those who think themselves clever.

I conquer, but sometimes without even slight resistance.
Why do you think that is? Because they never take a stand.

Observation is my enemy. Abuse is my friend.
I am burning, continual. If you exist, I'm not far behind.

I am essentially imaginary, and without me, man would perish.
Grip me too tightly, and I will drive you to madness.

What am I?

Decay

Watch as the killer masturbates the blade,
and blood is relieved of duty like a crimson guard
conquered and peaceful in the grave.

"Let me get a look at you.
Oh, you've gone all over the floor.
I want to carve a question into your beautiful mind."

The truth of a genetic defect detected;
How many excuses can one give?
Medicine solves the illness of inhuman reality.
Cover your eyes and yet...
This cancer keeps eating the gray.

What is this squirming thing called life?
It tastes delicious, even arousing, until it is soft with rot
in the tide that rends all of our gods
to sand and grit of salt.

The day after the event occurred,
The patient said to me, in great confidence,
"a decadent yellow smile casts the shadow of opulence."

Blood on the sheets, a hidden tool from smuggled demand,
he spoke the core paranoia of his plans.
"Death always collects...I have all the company I can stand."

Some Works of Satire


In Honor of Celsus The Greek

In the beginning, God had no limits, none at all,
His infinite power rivaled only by his barrenness.

Then he made some puppets, some winged automatons,
So from constant labor, the Maker could abscond.

And then God got bored, He made a grumpy face,
Instead of staring outward, into empty space
upon his shiny mirror, He forged the human race.

He decided then ahead of time to instate some rules;
If they couldn’t be perfect, to hell with all the fools!

Humans broke the rules, that was just the deal!
Taking forbidden fruits and making them their meals,
Cain fractured Abel, left him convulsing in the fields.

Humans broke the rules, that was just the case.
So God got mad, God got mean, He opened a Gate,
Drowned all those bastards leaving almost not a trace!

He thought it was over as He washed away the bodies,
but his bloody demon offspring did the same when multiplied!

So, now God’s mirror made war upon the earth,
A war that began with vanity, with vanity it would end.
But God felt so merciful, a Savior He would send.

And then there came Jesus, Jesus he said “Hi.”
He said He was the savior, and they put him up to die!
You’d think it was a failure, but it was all the Maker’s Plan,
To soak us in gory Mercy with the Son of Man.



This Happy Ending

When I arrived in Heaven, there was no one there.
The gates were wide open, hanging in the air.
They were golden, just as once perceived,
and gemstones lined the arches, can you just believe?

I looked for God, in need of advising,
Knowing He in all His wisdom, there could be no surprising.
When I found the Throne of His Sovereign Grace,
I could scarcely believe it was Him, so loving was His face.

The Lord was mighty, the Lord He was neat,
His tongue an unsheathed sword that hung about His feet.
I bowed just then, and my Master I did hail.
From each bleeding wrist hung a giant nail.

He didn't ask me how I felt, or even if I was well,
For God already knew; He could simply tell!
I knelt and kissed His every toe for of me taking pity,
In gladness and gratitude for His Golden City!