Mr Spork's Poetry Thread

Hey there everyone. Thought I'd make a poetry thread and give poetry a whirl. So here are some poems from me.

Sunset Light

When looking upon your eyes so bright
I am reminded of the sunset's light
Its light reaches out like hands so warm
When I feel the light, my heart beats faster than the norm

Trapped between two worlds is the sunset light
Not quite day and not quite night
Trapped between two worlds, you are too
Because an angel stuck on Earth, that is you

The sunset light inspires so much awe
But your eyes so wonderful and sparkling offer so much more
When looking upon the sunset light
I am reminded of your eyes so bright

Well, that's my first crude attempt at poetry out of the way, on to the second.

The Deep End

I cling to the side, the very edge of the pool
This is where it is safe, not in the middle, I'm no fool
In the middle there is nothing to hold on to, nothing to keep you safe
Fear and doubt are out there, pulling you under the surface like a silent wraith

Never will I go out in to the middle of the deep end
My thoughts are made up on the matter, I will never bend
Then she swims over to me, she takes my hand in hers
A warm smile she smiles, as beautiful as the most beautiful verse

She leads me out into the middle of the deep
My fears and doubts and worries I no longer keep
I hold on to her hand as I swim to the middle of the pool
This is where it is safe, not on the edge, I'm no fool

Well, what did you think of my poetry? I would appreciate any comments and criticism is welcome. Oh, and yes, these poems are about...someone very special to me.

Those were very good poems, Mr. Spork! 'Sunset Light' was excellent, I esspecially liked the second stanza, as it has very mystical images in it, such as the earthbound angel, entrapment between two worlds etc. I enjoyed the fluctuating rythym of each line, sometimes rigidity (sp?) just isn't proper in a poem, and this is certainly one of them, the way it 'moves' makes for good reading. I hope you understand what I mean by that.

I also liked 'The Deep End.' It was a sweetly done one! Every stanza is phenominal! The only thing I can think up is I was stumped for a second on the second line, about going into the middle. You started out by clinging to the edge, so it was a stump to imagine clinging to the middle of a pool. But just my opinion, those were both exceedingly great poems! Hope you write more!

What can I say? You already know that I love your fiction- and now it's official; I love your poetry Kinda makes me wanna give posting some of mine a go here at ZU...

They're beautiful. I loved them both equally. I found them both to be very emotional and touching. Please post more

Those are great Sporky! Especially for a newcomer to poetry! Only one thing, Sunset Light, it mostly kept the same rhythym, but there were two or three lines that kinda jarred, cause they were a little too long. One of the most difficult things about poetry is keeping whatever structure you've set while still keeping the rhythym going. Great job! I'll be watching this thread... *takes eye out and puts it on the table* ^_^

Thank you all for the comments and criticism, it was very welcome indeed. I think I'll give you another poem, that I'm just making up now.

Different Worlds

From two different worlds are you and I
As different as the Earth is to the sky
There are things I do not understand
But always do I want to hold your hand

For different are the sky and Earth, but
Each other they cannot exist without
I am not complete without you
With all my heart, I love you, I do

I love you, different though we are
And those differences will sometimes jar
But my love you have, always and forever
Please do not forget that, forget that never

Well, there you go, another poem from Mr Spork, criticism most welcome, as usual. I just made this up on the spot, so, it might not be that good. The first two lines in the second stanza I'm unsure of, that's the best I could get it. Well, at any rate, I hope you enjoy my poetry.

That's great Sporky! ^_^ It's amazing, a newcomer to poetry, and you can turn out something like that on the spot. That's better than some of my attempts on uninspired days. Lol. ^_^ Great job!

P.S. Yeah, the first two lines of the last stanza could've maybe been better, but that seems like about the best you could get from what you're saying. Lol. Whatever. Great job! ^_^

... that poem hits close to home. I understand. It's not easy being in love when the person you love has lived a completely different life to you. It's hard. We can try to understand, but unless we have lived what they have, we never will truly understand. The loyalty you show in your poem, despite those differences, is touching.

Well done

I think I'll give everyone another poem from the ol' Sporkster. Okey dokey, here we go.

Wandering

I wander the house without purpose or reason
A breeze blows through, one of the spring season
My thoughts turn to you, as I continue to wander
Where are you, what are you doing, are you smiling, I wonder
I wander without purpose because I am not with you

When I am with you, only then do I feel whole
You are so beautiful, in mind and body and soul
I love you so very much, always will you have my love
My love is as wonderful and as pure as the whitest dove
In your arms is where I want to be, always, forever, I do

Then you are gone again, but you're in my mind
I wander once more, I think of you, thoughts so kind
I wonder when we will be together once more
Thoughts of your beauty fill me, right to my core
Aimlessly, I wander and wonder, thinking always of you.

I hope you enjoyed that one, I thought up of that one, pretty much just now...when a certain special person asked me to write them a poem, but it was inspired by when I was wandering around my house aimlessly because I missed that certain special person. I hope you liked it. As usual, criticism most welcome. Here's another poem, it's a poem about a poem!

The Poem

Never have I read anything with such wonder, with such beauty
Your words, your love, your passion
No longer was I in control, my emotions had taken over, in mutiny
Your poem, crafted in such a fashion

That its words seeped deep inside of me, and there they stirred
My thoughts, my love, my feelings
In my eye welled a tear, a more beautiful poem I had never heard
Its incredible beauty, it feels so healing

Well, there you go, two poems from Mr Spork. This one came from a poem that someone wrote for me. I'm not sure about the last line in the second poem, I wanted to say that the poem I read was really beautiful and great, but I'm not sure if that's what it sounds like in that last line. Well, comments and criticism appreciated.

Those were both great Sporky! ^_^ I love the sort of play on words in the first one, switching from wandering to wondering. And the second one, really amazing. You're really good at this! ^_^ Great work and I can't wait to see more! ^_^

I got another poem for everyone, I only whipped it up in five minutes or so, so nothing too flash.

Messages

We both type eagerly, conversing with one another
We hold these moments dear, talking with each other
Our messages quickly go to and fro, never ending
Suddenly, my messages have stopped sending

Each of us send our messages, but we do not receive the other's
This is torture, I cannot talk to her, this pain I feel, the agony, it smothers
Without warning, our messages start coming through again
And there's one thing I want to say, curse that bloody MSN!

I'm sure a few of you share the same sentiment as the final line.

Haha, that was a very good poem! It might have been whipped up in few minutes, but the subject and the humor at the end heightens it to excellence.

Our messages quickly go to and fro, never ending
Suddenly, my messages have stopped sending

Those were my favorite lines, other than the comedic ending.

Here's some more poetry for your poetry reading pleasure!

Wonderful Things

You always do things so wonderful for me,
You make me smile, my heart sings with glee,
You always make my heart and my soul fill up with joy,
You make me as happy as a child playing with a new toy

You tell me you want to do a wonderful thing
You make me grin and laugh and shout and sing
You come back, you could not do that wonderful thing, you are sad
You should not be sad, that thing is not what makes me happy and glad

You see my warm and loving and tender and happy smile
You do not know why there is such a grin on the face of your Kyle
You just merely wanting to do such a thing for me,
You have made my heart as happy as it can be

Yeah, so there's some more poetry for you. Tell me what you think. Oh, and yes, Kyle is my name.

Sorry for taking so long in looking at your poetry- you know my life and uni...

Glad I stopped by, though. Gees, your latest poem is so chirpy and happy- you must be in a good mood! It's contagious- despite my headache, I'm feeling happy too- now that I've read your poem Thankyou for putting a smile on my face, Spork! *huggles Sporky*

That was a very sweet poem, Mr. Spork. The pace was good, and the images were very cool. The very last line was great! What can I say? It was a superb upbeat poem!

Those were great Sporky! I especially loved the first one, an excellent touch of humor there. ^_^ The seventh and eighth lines of the last poem were a little jarring, but nothing too bad. Great job and I can't wait to see more! ^_^

Yeah, poetry from Mr. Spork! Each poem you've posted is delightful, with their clean, clear rhymes and lovely concepts. My favourites are 'Messages' (most entertaining) and 'The Poem', which was very beautiful. I look forward to reading more!

Thank you all for the comments, they're much appreciated. I've got a new poem for you.

Waiting

For a short time you will be away,
you'll be back in half an hour you say
I count down the minutes until we will be together again
Half an hour passes, you'll be here soon, anywhen

You do not show, my heart begins to sink
To pass the time, thoughts of you I think
Your beauty fills my mind, so full of delight and wonder
Suddenly, I'm roused, my dream is gone like a clap of thunder

You are here, finally, after an hour and a half
My heart is happy and sings and shouts and laughs
You've been trying to get back to me for the last hour
But it would not let you, leaving you with a taste so sour

You are quite annoyed, and rightfully so
You are very upset, but not to worry though,
What's important, my sweet love, is that we are together again
If you couldn't tell this is another poem about that freaking MSN!

Hope you liked it!

Lol, excellent. ^_^ I was beginning to wonder if it was when you said she was annoyed. Lol. You know what you should write about? Monkey butlers. ^_^ I actually had an interesting story idea, that I think I'm gonna do for the next NaNoWriMo, that's kind one-sixteenth or so inspired by your monkey butlers. Lol. ^_^

Haha- ain't MSN a b*tch? Another poem that put a grin on my face, Spork! Thankyou for putting me into such a good mood with your poems, hun! They really do make my day

Btw- Belle, a Monkey Butler poem would be pretty cool, huh? XD

What a fun poem! The sense of expectation was well depicted in the first two stanzas, and I liked the rhyme. Hee hee, down with MSN! I've never used it before; I wonder if it's more loathsome than Fanfiction.net's rather impaired communication system.