GI Joe

Not my American Hero.

Boy did this movie stink! Apparently it was directed by the same mook who did the Mummy movies. IT SHOWS! Now the first two Mummy movies were entertaining but this guy's direction style smells of rancid baby crap these days. This film was hollow, filled with cheap effects, and just all round bad.

Story:
The story situates itself as a Scottish dude (MacCullen) creates nanotechnology built for mass distruction. (Basically a bunch of ickle bots eat metal.) Then it goes to the main character, Duke, who has this stupid backstory with the Baroness. MacCullen ends up working for the Cobra in the end. Its pretty basic and the story itself isnt too bad, just kinda cliched.

Characters:
If you were expecting your childhood action figures to become enriched and come to life on the big screen, well, you'll be sorely disappointed.
The main character Duke is pretty plastic and badly acted. Your basic whiteguy soldier. Ripcord played by a Wayans is ok and has some comedic moments. Scarlett was ok too. She didnt stick out that much but she wasnt bad. Snake Eyes was one of the better ones. Well, how can go wrong with Ray Parks? The badguys were horrible. Baroness was done so badly and so badly acted, i wanted to reach into the screen and rip her sorry head off. Shes not even hot! ARGH! Stupid twat. Shadow Storm was not bad but his character was annoying. His redeeming features were in his fight scenes. Cobra himself was ok. He was cheesy but not so horrible i wanted to kill something. Youd think these guys would act better. Snake Eyes was the only one who did the job smashingly and he doesnt even have lines!!!

Overall this movie was bad even for a popcorn movie. I wouldnt recommend it at all.

AHA!!! I Knew it was going to suck monkey balls. I said it from the time I first saw the trailer. =p
The true American Hero I remember while growing up had green camo, scars and an American flag somewhere on their attire. Not some stupid ***** ass metal suit to do their fighting for them. =/ That honestly killed G.I. Joe for me......... Well, maybe not killed it but it surely beat it with the bluntest object Hollywood could find.........

It was ok, the toys were cool but the plot sucked

Originally Posted by Florina Belmont

Snake Eyes was the only one who did the job smashingly and he doesnt even have lines!!!

That's cause Ray Park is the greatest stunt actor to have ever existed.

Hollywood ruins my childhood yet again, thanks *******s.

Seriously Marlan Wayans? Seriously?

I laugh when people take these types of movies seriously.

^Yeeaaaah xD.

So, the dialogue was cheesy and cliche, but lawd, I didn't expect something witty and profound to come out of a GI Joe movie. The music was okay. The acting was meh. The constant flashbacks to fill in plotholes was interesting at times, but lamezors at others. Special effects were pretty cool. Explosions and explosions and explosions.

Now, all that aside, I went in there expecting mind candy and that's what I received. Watched it as a kid so I was looking forward to Storm Shadow vs. Snake Eyes, and I really enjoyed their fights, though I wanted to stab Storm Shadow's hairdo to hell. I enjoyed that ridiculous scene in Paris with the leaping around and smashing up cars. Sweet.

Overall, I had a good time. If I wanted to be a in-depth movie critic about this, I'd probably be pretty upset, but bleh, I went in for the ninja guys and the explosions so I left a happy, mostly amused, lady. Hoorah.

Okay, here is a question I have to ask:

During one of the trailers for Joe when I was watching a much less sucky movie, there was a moment where two of the guys were running and jumping down a street, dodging missiles? Did anyone else think that was a total rip off of a scene from the first Michael Bay Transformers flick?

Here is something about the movie. There is this one chick in the movie.



Yes! There she is. Look at her. It's Scarlet Johanson in tight, leather clothing. Apparently Hollywood thinks they will get more people, specifically men, to see there movie just because there's a hot chick in lether. All I need to say about is, every movie needs at least one hot chick in leather clothing.

I wasn't too keen on the movie. It was OK and all, but nothing to write home about. The lines and plot were cheesy and a lot of the acting was forced.

But all was forgiven when Storm Shadow took off his shirt. Damn, that was hot.

Originally Posted by Zero of Time

Here is something about the movie. There is this one chick in the movie.



Yes! There she is. Look at her. It's Scarlet Johanson in tight, leather clothing. Apparently Hollywood thinks they will get more people, specifically men, to see there movie just because there's a hot chick in lether. All I need to say about is, every movie needs at least one hot chick in leather clothing.

thats not Scarlet Johanson

It's not leather either.

I thought the movie was okay. But, my little brother loved it.

I just liked how they made Joe Biden the president.

(this is coming from a 14 year old g.i.joe fan ME)
I'd like to say the movie was good considered what Micheal bay did to transformers ,G.I.JOE is amazing it's got a simple plot something you might see out of one of the cartoon's.
The costumes where alright,yet i didnt like cobra commanders mask that well. Baroness needed a stronger accent, some of the flashbacks i felt where uneeded specifically when baroness was trying to force hershelf to save duke.
The action was great.

How heres the deal with the super suit's there prettym uch ripped off from the g.i.joe series sigma 6 ,in which the joe unit had powered body amor . the suits where pretty much over glorified bullet proof vests that could stop a rhino.)
Also i think the took the nanobot thing from a story arch from the series or from valor vs venom.

I didnt mind the cheesiness at least it wasnt trying to be hip or try not to be what it was, it was what G,I,Joe pretty much was all around a nice movie wast terrible and its got good action.
I hope we get too see a sequel since i wish to see what happens next.
Maybe the twins and major blood will show up.

Originally Posted by Zero of Time

Here is something about the movie. There is this one chick in the movie.



Yes! There she is. Look at her. It's Scarlet Johanson in tight, leather clothing. Apparently Hollywood thinks they will get more people, specifically men, to see there movie just because there's a hot chick in lether. All I need to say about is, every movie needs at least one hot chick in leather clothing.

As if people want to see a fat, homely, stupid, whining ♥♥♥♥♥ in not tight leather? And thats Rachel Nichols.

I thought it was a good movie....for the action of course.