I began to feel strange. My breathing became fast. Nearly staccato. I felt my thoughts get faster and faster. Like trains, crashing into each other.
At around 20 minutes, this is where things began to get weird. I felt like my entire body was being pricked by electrical pins. A tingly, painful feeling. I'm still feeling that, somewhat.
Let's say around 30 minutes in. Paranoia is intense. Feelings of sadness. I felt like I was about to die. I began to hyperventilate. I felt like I was gone. Have you ever experienced your mind seemingly disconnecting from your body? Not fun. The music (I was listening to Ultravisitor by Squarepusher.) seemed so... fake and unreal. Everything was unreal. I heard the song and I saw the speakers and the computer and my bed as well as the stacks of books that decorate the shelves and walls. I wasn't quite sure that they were there, or if they even existed, or if I even existed.
40 minutes. Everything described above has risen to an intense, nightmarish crescendo. I genuinely thought that I was dying. I began to feel disoriented. Dizzy. I'm wasn't even sure what the hell was going on or if any of it was real. Noise. Definitely noise. Where is the noise coming from? I forgot at that moment. Began breathing very heavily, very quickly.
After that everything seemed to calm down for a bit. I sat down on my bed, crossing my legs, back against the wall. I closed my eyes and blocked everything else out. I focused only on my breathing, and getting it to a normal level and intensity.
I am now sitting here wondering what just happened. That was rather unpleasant.
Going good! Been drawing a lot still. Took up Guitar as well! And now I'm actually applying myself to schoolwork this year! Before I could get by as average with no effort, but now even with the minimum effort I;'m getting straight A's and all my quizzes always come back in the high 90's range. I've been losing quite a bit of weight as well, which is like a double whammy of confidence and love of life now, so yeah. I'd say life is awesome right now. <3