a hard boiled fugitive cop.

There I stood, going through the remaining cards I had up my sleeve.

- Use Spanish accent to throw Peefy off.
- The Joker, anything goes
- "Hey look! Duke Nukem Forever lying on the floor behind you! *flee*"

and last but not least
- The brother card; 1.4: Peefy, how can you not tell?! I'm your half-brother! The better half at that!

Maybe next weekend.

The scent of fear had been replaced with a descent into the bizarre. He was concentrating on getting my juice bottled up, and making the rest of my blood boil. I took it upon me to get rid of this bad blood between us - by making sure there was no one it could get between!

When on a trip, I always get something for the kids, and today I had picked the pockets of syringeholding doctor - and I decided to prove that science can blind more than politcians. Like a morally ambigious bee I placed the needle with medicine in the eye of my giant foe, and made him show his love to the walls - with a full face kiss! The contents of my present made him wish that he was still in his past, as it entered his eye it popped out, and my 'I' popped out the room.

This was no victory, but this was also not a war. An unforfilled mutual vendetta that will be chasing us until it cannot be mutual is a curse that cannot be shaked off - but only fed and fueled by the kerosene of our hate.

PEEF OUT

For twenty years I've told myself "Never leave the house without an empty jar, you'll never know when it may be of use". Today was a good day, the jar I had been hiding between my legs for all those years finally came in handy. Other things I told myself were to never hit a girl, but these were desperate times.

Skillfully dodging all of Peefy's attempts to break my face (he took his time moving a tiny trampoline around. Seeing we moved away from the bed, he couldn't reach past my shins. Every once in a while I'd see him from the corner of my eye, squealing like the dwarf he is. Oddly enough he seemed to enjoy himself flying through the air, like a weightless elephant baby impressing the giraffes at a zoo.) I started to collect the blood from the wall inside my empty jar, which soon lost the empty meaning. With this blood I shall clone Peefy and create my own miniature army.

I had the advantage of being short, though it was not a big advantage. As he was swinging the white, soft pillow over my head as a cloud of pain, I was reminded that we were in the laundry room, and that I had some dirty laundry. I tried to keep my balance on the bed, but with a broken hand and the will to break his face was making it hard. Just then the pillow hit me like a soft bag of rocks filled with feathers. I was thrown against the wall, and either the wall was bleeding all over the place - or my nose was bleeding on the wall! If I didn't do anything fast it would not matter, I tried to collect myself - but Future seemed to want to do the same - collect my blood!

Strange, it must have been quite a while since I started my day dream. By now Peefy had gotten on top of a bed right in front of me. Even stranger was the height difference, or actually, the lack of one. I suppose it's not easy being a midget. Are those two mattresses on the bed? Ah well, at least we can look eachother in the eyes. The precision fascinated me, if only I had my measuring tape with me.. but those are in my other jeans. Wait, what am I thinking, no time for this.

I hopped onto the bed and smacked Peefy with a pillow. This must be how midgets fight, I told myself in comfort.

The rain had soaked my revolver, I needed to buy some time, in here there were few fire-sales. I thought fast and got a quick idea, Future can never say no to a good story - and apparantly not a bad one either. As I began talking, he seemed distant, but enough for my liking. I told him a story form a talkie I'd seen, and hoped he wasn't into Bogart.

I broke the story which was going nowhere to attempt to get myself elsewhere;
Me: Hey, Future, we can't go act out this chicken-and-egg-situation forever, it has gotta stop before the farmer collects it all for the market.
Future: Haven't you read your prose? Sticks and stones can hurt me, but words ain't gonna hold it.
Me: Ain't got no wood to rock, so I have given up shakin' your bacon.
I decided to take a chance, to avoid never being able to take any again, I pushed the bed towards him, hoping to level the playing field.

Not sure why, but Peefy seemed eager to tell me an anecdote. Pretending I was listening, my mind spaced out to a more interesting setting. Ahh, nothing beats the beaches of San Diego.

My hand went limp like the backside of a moose with a dead frontside. The hospital visit had not made him weak at all, and it certainly had not made my week! My right hand was rendered useless, meaning that I would have to resort to women again, and that I would have to find some other way to hurt the man.

I screamed in agony so I would get some time to think, I noticed he was packing and not for a trip. He caught my stare and followed it to his own piece, and by pulling it out he removed my peace!

I twirled around on the ground and went for the bed, I was not going for a nap, since one can sleep when one is dead - which I jumped behind the bed to make sure wasn't happening anytime soon. I just managed to push the bed over for cover before the first shot came knocking, and pulled my gun with the left hand just before the second.

I gratefully accepted the fist-shaped figurine and could only assume this meant we were at peace once more.. or so he thought.

He held out his hand and I shook it with the bronze fist I was gifted.

Peefy: Well, I gotta go hit the bricks.
Future: Okay. You go show those bricks a lesson.