Master Quest Jabu Jabu's Belly

Okay, what the hell. Cows? Seriously, cows? I'm honestly surprised, I mean that's so freaking random! Do the Zoras sacrifice cows to Jabu Jabu? And, furthermore, why is one of the main mechanics of the dungeon shooting them with a slingshot. Seriously, where do they come up with this ♥♥♥♥?!

Shooting cows with slingshots dates back to the mid 1700's, with angry Americans who were upset over the Tea Act but refused to participate in the Boston Tea Party. Instead they vented their frustration by shooting cows with slingshots. They also shot bulls, but several minor deaths later they went back to shooting female cows. They would always dress up in green tunics with no pants and green hats when doing this, although no one knows why. Oddly enough, shooting the cows often produced treasure chests out of thin air.

While many think this was only temporary, reports of shooting cows with slingshots as recent as 2007 have been reported. Many farmers, believing the chests produced by shooting the cows would lead them to riches, would don the green garb made famous in the 1700's and furiously bombard cows with slingshots, until the cows had enough and began shooting back. How the latter occurred nobody knows, but that's why in 2007 the Cow-Farmer Mutual Agreement of Peace and Prosperity law, CFMAPP, was passed in order to restore peace across the land.

Bottom line, while no one knows where in history The Legend of Zelda games take place, it's at least known it's between the 1700's and 2007 because that's the period of time when Cow Shooting was legal.

Legend of Zelda is its own world. Period.

Originally Posted by LinkSwing

Legend of Zelda is its own world. Period.

Really? I though Hyrule was somewhere in California...

Originally Posted by LinkSwing

Legend of Zelda is its own world. Period.

You don't say!

Originally Posted by WiseWarrior

Really? I though Hyrule was somewhere in California...

Yeah, weird. The cows will forever be a mystery to me. Not only are they in the Jabu Jabu in the Master Quest, but how did those cows get in all those strange places? Even been wandering around and hear a random cow mooing? Turns out that there was a hole nearby and the cow was inside. Explain that one to me.

A relevant read for this topic that I wrote a couple of years ago: Got Milk: The Hero of Time’s Cow Encounters » Articles - Zelda Universe

That's because Master Quest was a quickly made edit to shut up the fans that were claiming for URA Zelda.

Originally Posted by Pseud O Nym

Yeah, weird. The cows will forever be a mystery to me. Not only are they in the Jabu Jabu in the Master Quest, but how did those cows get in all those strange places? Even been wandering around and hear a random cow mooing? Turns out that there was a hole nearby and the cow was inside. Explain that one to me.

i've always wondered how they got there and why they were there besides their milk

The shooting of cows being in Jabu-Jabu stuck there and not somehow having been digested in the first place, let alone why on earth they would be in there?

Nintendo logic, never question it. It just is.

The cows were the funniest part of OoT: MC in my opinion.

Another thing that sucked about Master Quest was the fact that the re-design of Dungeons left whole rooms rendered pointless. (Save maybe a red rupee).

Jabu Jabu likes to eat beef. Nothing wrong with that.

Originally Posted by Butt Fist

Jabu Jabu likes to eat beef. Nothing wrong with that.

HAH! ... im hungry now.

I'm doing master quest... i'm trying to finish Dodongo's cavern but im stuck ;___;

Beef: It's what's for dinner.

We're talking about beef now?

Originally Posted by WiseWarrior

Shooting cows with slingshots dates back to the mid 1700's, with angry Americans who were upset over the Tea Act but refused to participate in the Boston Tea Party. Instead they vented their frustration by shooting cows with slingshots. They also shot bulls, but several minor deaths later they went back to shooting female cows. They would always dress up in green tunics with no pants and green hats when doing this, although no one knows why. Oddly enough, shooting the cows often produced treasure chests out of thin air.

While many think this was only temporary, reports of shooting cows with slingshots as recent as 2007 have been reported. Many farmers, believing the chests produced by shooting the cows would lead them to riches, would don the green garb made famous in the 1700's and furiously bombard cows with slingshots, until the cows had enough and began shooting back. How the latter occurred nobody knows, but that's why in 2007 the Cow-Farmer Mutual Agreement of Peace and Prosperity law, CFMAPP, was passed in order to restore peace across the land.

Bottom line, while no one knows where in history The Legend of Zelda games take place, it's at least known it's between the 1700's and 2007 because that's the period of time when Cow Shooting was legal.

This is the best answer ever. I could never come up with anything this good. Kudos because this was awesome with a bag of chips.

Originally Posted by Jwal

A relevant read for this topic that I wrote a couple of years ago: Got Milk: The Hero of Time’s Cow Encounters » Articles - Zelda Universe

The article is priceless! I love it! (Now everyone in the house is probably wondering why they hear random laughter.)

For one, the cow moos.

Hehe...