This here is a discussion that will entail all funny quotes/jokes/oneliners that pertain to GuruGuru. Try to only post a few at a time so that the discussion can grow smoothly and with time...like a cake. I like cake.

As such, I'll start us off:

GuruGuru > Chuck Norris

GuruGuru = mc^2

GuruGuru doesn't cry, he plays the Song of Storms.

Once GuruGuru did cry, and all the Kennedy's were cursed.

The resonance cascade in Half Life was caused when GuruGuru stopped spinning his box for a few miliseconds.


An atomic bomb is actually when he plays the song of storms very fast. Its not a bomb, nor an American invention.


Link is actually his apprentice, as the second most awesome video game character.

One time, this guy cut GuruGuru off on the highway, and GuruGuru got so pissed, he gave him the first strain of aids.

Guru-Guru is really the King of Hyrule. He's so awesome he doesn't want to be worshipped as royalty.

Someone once tried to pickpocket GuruGuru. He was locked in a room with a Tingle clone for the rest of his life.


The myth about the Triforce is just that, a myth. And those goddesses never existed. GuruGuru created the world.
By touching GuruGuru you get to make a wish. But nobody has ever even came close to touching him.
The myth about the Triforce just keeps people from trying.

When the song of storms is played, he doesn't get wet. The rain gets Guru-Guru'd.

In WW the great flood was not caused by the Gods. Any fool would know it was the Song of Storms being played by GuruGuru. For a long time and really fast.

GuruGuru gave birth to the modern age by creating the plague. He stopped making rain, and allowed even more garbage to build up everywhere. He had to make many human sacrifices, but he is the messiah of the human race.

Guru Guru turned Medusa to stone.

Guru-Guru is faster to the speed of light raised to the infinity squared.

-HoTwilight