Why NOT to Play Video Games!!

I have come to save you all from imminent destruction. The cause of your destruction, you ask?

Video games.

I mean, c'mon, man! They are so violent! Video games promote death, sex, drugs, and vandalism! You yourself promote such things when you shell out forty to sixty dollars every time you buy a game!

This must come to an end!

Video games are very educational, alright. I was browsing old posts around here and came across some UNDENIABLE PROOF that video games are bad!

I'll quote it here for your convenience:

Originally Posted by Asked to remain anonymous for his own protection

Mario Kart taught me how to throw random projectiles and nail moving objects while driving down the road.

Star Fox taught me how to blow stuff up.

Smash Bros. taught me to pound everyone in sight to a pulp and throw them off cliffs.

Mario taught me how to use a flamethrower and jump on everyones' heads.

Pokemon taught me how to abuse animals by throwing spherical objects at them.

Zelda taught me to slice first and ask questions later.

Final Fantasy taught me witchcraft and how to barge into people's houses and loot their possessions.

Halo taught me to shoot everything in sight, then shoot some more.

Grand Theft Auto taught me how to steal cars, shoot hookers, and run over pedestrians.

Driver taught me how to outrun the police in a car.

Pikmin taught me how to ruin gardens.

Luigi's Mansion taught me to sneak into deserted houses in the dead of night.

Advance Wars taught me how to needlessly sacrifice lives.

Dynasty Warriors taught me how to rebel against my government.

Pole Position taught me how to run into other cars to blow them up.

Need For Speed taught me how to be a reckless driver.

007 taught me the art of sabotage.

Mission: Impossible taught me the art of infiltration.

Mortal Kombat taught me how to finish off my enemies.

Spyro taught me how to light sheep on fire for the fun of it.

Ty the Tasmanian Tiger taught me how to clobber anyone in sight with me boomerangs.

Fire Emblem showed how I can build my own army.

Tenchu taught me the art of stealth and assassination.

Mario Party taught me how to steal coins from people.

Zoo Tycoon taught me the enjoyment of setting tigers loose on unsuspecting visitors.

Yep, with all the influence I have received from video games, I am a serious threat to myself and society as we know it. Better throw me into an insane asylum before I become bent on world domination.

You see?! How much do you wanna bet that this person is now a full-fledged agent of evil?!! This person is probably now a trained assassin for the Russians, which, as you know, are now busy purging the world of metrosexuals! No one is safe!


Now that I have your attention, I would like to tell you why this is all happening:

It's all a New World Order conspiracy!

That's right! There are people behind the curtains who wish to turn us all into zombies! When it's time to stage the largest military coup the world has ever seen, we won't be able to do anything about it because 1, our eyes will have most likely melted out of our sockets by then and 2, those who haven't, will have been brainwashed to do their new lords' bidding!

Here is a link to show you that all I am saying is true and that I'm not making it up!!

In fact, this would all have happened already if it weren't all for one person: Jack Thompson. He has been working around the clock to keep us all safe from the evil masterminds working behind the scenes! But alas, Jack Thompson was only one man, and the government shut him down before he could rid the world of video games once and for all!

Jack Thompson, you're my hero!!

But all is not lost! We can still thwart these evil plans to take over our minds! How, you ask? It's simple...

STOP PLAYING VIDEO GAMES!11

Break free of the chains of your new masters' control! Chuck your PS3 out the window! Then smash it in a gazillion pieces and burn them! Don't even play games like Elmo's ABC's or Barbie's Horse Racing Track Deluxe, lest you become hypnotized and become mindless puppets for the new regime to control!

Rise with me, my brothers! Let us work together to secure our liberties once and for all!

dud u r liek ttly rite tey alzo prbly maid obbamma beecum a trrist

hey, I actually know how to infiltrate.

Originally Posted by Blizzaga

I have come to save you all from imminent destruction. The cause of your destruction, you ask?

Video games.

I mean, c'mon, man! They are so violent! Video games promote death, sex, drugs, and vandalism! You yourself promote such things when you shell out forty to sixty dollars every time you buy a game!

This must come to an end!

Video games are very educational, alright. I was browsing old posts around here and came across some UNDENIABLE PROOF that video games are bad!

I'll quote it here for your convenience:



You see?! How much do you wanna bet that this person is now a full-fledged agent of evil?!! This person is probably now a trained assassin for the Russians, which, as you know, are now busy purging the world of metrosexuals! No one is safe!


Now that I have your attention, I would like to tell you why this is all happening:

It's all a New World Order conspiracy!

That's right! There are people behind the curtains who wish to turn us all into zombies! When it's time to stage the largest military coup the world has ever seen, we won't be able to do anything about it because 1, or eyes will have most likely melted out of our sockets by then and 2, those who haven't, will have been brainwashed to do their new lords' bidding!

Here is a link to show you that all I am saying is true and that I'm not making it up!!

In fact, this would all have happened already if it weren't all for one person: Jack Thompson. He has been working around the clock to keep us all safe from the evil masterminds working behind the scenes! But alas, Jack Thompson was only one man, and the government shut him down before he could rid the world of video games once and for all!

Jack Thompson, you're my hero!!

But all is not lost! We can still thwart these evil plans to take over our minds! How, you ask? It's simple...

STOP PLAYING VIDEO GAMES!11

Break free of the chains of your new masters' control! Chuck your PS3 out the window! Then smash it in a gazillion pieces and burn them! Don't even play games like Elmo's ABC's or Barbie's Horse Racing Track Deluxe, lest you become hypnotized and become mindless puppets for the new regime to control!

Rise with me, my brothers! Let us work together to secure our liberties once and for all!

Yes, we are twins. I did this with food.

You forgot the caution thing in the thread title. Good job though.

So, er; what's this about?

O.o

Originally Posted by Blizzaga

Chuck your PS3 out the window! Then smash it in a gazillion pieces and burn them!

Blasphemy!!!

*cries*

...............................

Since I know for a fact that Jack Thomson doesn't have the required I.Q. to use anything electronic, I must assume you are one of his friends from Group Therepy helping him out.

Also, if you had any brains you would relise several things:

• The quote you are using as evidence is ment to be sarcastic. The person you are quoting obviously doesn't actually believe video games are bad. He is making a joke.
  
• Jack Thomson lost his law license and had to pay a $50,000 fine for personaly msiconduct, and there were compliants by numerous people saying Thompson made false statements and attempted to humiliate, embarrass, harass and intimidate them.
  
• The government has ruled that video games are not involved in any of the things he has blamed them for.
  
• His claim that 50% of the time a kid can get an M rated game from a store is false. Me and my friends even tried it for a algebra assignment. We were required to make a survey of some kind, for example, another group tried to find out which fast food resteraunts had nutritional info available. We decided to see which electronis store we could get an M rated game from without a parent or older sibling (at the time we were all in 8th grade). We went to Wal Mart, Game Stop, Best Buy, FYE, Target, and K-Mart on various diffrent times and days (that way we got a variety of shifts and people). We found we were compleatly unsucceful at all stores at all times of day.
  

How did I never noticed! all my life I was blind, now I see everything clearly! I'll never play a video game again in my entire life!











so... my life ended already?

Originally Posted by Blizzaga

Here is a link to show you that all I am saying is true and that I'm not making it up!!

I couldn't stop laughing.

Originally Posted by ladyjane

So, er; what's this about?

O.o

http://www.zeldauniverse.net/forums/...ident-u-s.html

Don't laugh, man! This is SERIOUS BUSINESS! The link I provide is sufficient proof!

Originally Posted by Blizzaga

Don't laugh, man! This is SERIOUS BUSINESS! The link I provide is sufficient proof!

Yeah, in some realities!!1




Are we done here, or are you guys really going to talk about that guy (Jack Johnson? --- no, he's a singer --- whatever his name is).

Video games killed my father and raped my mother.

So this thread is to come out and declare yourself a tool/idiot to the world then Blizzaga? Congrats.

Originally Posted by Mafoofoo

So this thread is to come out and declare yourself a tool/idiot to the world then Blizzaga? Congrats.

This is the second time that I've seen you try to troll Blizzaga since you logged-on. Please knock it off.

Originally Posted by Linkey

hey, I actually know how to infiltrate.

In more ways than one.

zing.

Originally Posted by Neurokika

In more ways than one.

zing.

That hurt my soul....

In more ways than one.

ZING

*claps for Blizz*
If this wasn't a knock off of that other thread in the GCC, I would have declared this thread epic. Well, I appreciate you for trying.
EDIT
Actually, if it wasn't for the quote, it would have been a fail. lol

Originally Posted by Blizzaga

I have come to save you all from imminent destruction. The cause of your destruction, you ask?

Video games.

I mean, c'mon, man! They are so violent! Video games promote death, sex, drugs, and vandalism! You yourself promote such things when you shell out forty to sixty dollars every time you buy a game!

This must come to an end!

Video games are very educational, alright. I was browsing old posts around here and came across some UNDENIABLE PROOF that video games are bad!

I'll quote it here for your convenience:



You see?! How much do you wanna bet that this person is now a full-fledged agent of evil?!! This person is probably now a trained assassin for the Russians, which, as you know, are now busy purging the world of metrosexuals! No one is safe!


Now that I have your attention, I would like to tell you why this is all happening:

It's all a New World Order conspiracy!

That's right! There are people behind the curtains who wish to turn us all into zombies! When it's time to stage the largest military coup the world has ever seen, we won't be able to do anything about it because 1, our eyes will have most likely melted out of our sockets by then and 2, those who haven't, will have been brainwashed to do their new lords' bidding!

Here is a link to show you that all I am saying is true and that I'm not making it up!!

In fact, this would all have happened already if it weren't all for one person: Jack Thompson. He has been working around the clock to keep us all safe from the evil masterminds working behind the scenes! But alas, Jack Thompson was only one man, and the government shut him down before he could rid the world of video games once and for all!

Jack Thompson, you're my hero!!

But all is not lost! We can still thwart these evil plans to take over our minds! How, you ask? It's simple...

STOP PLAYING VIDEO GAMES!11

Break free of the chains of your new masters' control! Chuck your PS3 out the window! Then smash it in a gazillion pieces and burn them! Don't even play games like Elmo's ABC's or Barbie's Horse Racing Track Deluxe, lest you become hypnotized and become mindless puppets for the new regime to control!

Rise with me, my brothers! Let us work together to secure our liberties once and for all!

hahaha wait that wasn't even remotely funny

Originally Posted by musical zombie.

hahaha wait that wasn't even remotely funny

It's somewhat of an inside joke.