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Old 06-12-2009, 08:26 PM
Ŧҽҽᶄɑƴ Ŧҽҽᶄɑƴ is a male United Kingdom Ŧҽҽᶄɑƴ is offline
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Ooh you're hot <3 Come over and I'll give you a massage :333

So you have a significant other, but you'd like to go flirting with someone else....



Is it really worth it? The cheap self esteem boost from the flattery? The tawdry excitement of doing something you know is wrong? It's not worth it. It's all fun until you've had a little too much fun.

I think it's safe to say that most people don't wake up one morning and go "Oh, I'm gonna go cheat on my husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend today!" Instead, the majority of people get sucked into it slowly.

In my world, cheating is anything that you wouldn't want your significant other to know about with another person. Chances are, if you don't want them to know, you know inside your heart that it's wrong. But why would someone do such a thing? Why would someone feel like they have to run around flirting like a whore when they already have a significant other? They do it because they are externally searching for something they are lacking. Whether it's inside (self esteem, happiness, goals in life, etc.) or whether it's within their relationships (intimacy, excitement, spontaneity, passion, etc.), most often it's a combination of both. These people are searching for something, and most of them swear up and down they will never do anything, then suddenly they get sucked in too far. What started as an innocent flirtatious attitude will slowly transform into a huge mistake you can't undo. That boundary between what you know is right and what you know is wrong will just get a little grayer, a little grayer, until you know for sure you've messed up.

Now you might be wondering how I know so much about this issue. Well, simple. I made the mistake I can never undo.



You all know me. I'm a hormone-driven bisexual male who has a certain taste for guys my age and younger. I have a highly sexual nature, something many of you either hate or love. And some of you know first-hand just how flirtatious I can get. But lemme tell you...I've begun to agree with those of you who believe I should just stop.

There was a time several months ago when my flirt-factor was off the charts. Anyone I found remotely attractive had potential to be my next victim. I thought "As long as I don't get too involved with anyone, I'll be just fine." (keep in mind I was single at the time) But it just so happened that I fell into a rhythm with a good friend, and then fell into an interesting relationship. Unfortunately my need to flirt didn't end with the beginning of our bond. I let myself get involved with someone else...to the point where they firmly believed we were together. Needless to say, it all came crashing down on me shortly afterward. I'll never forget the things they said to me once they found out...the pain they showed...all the torment I caused for them both.

Ever since that event, I've tried hard to watch what I say and do. Sure, I don't think sometimes. I might make sexual remarks with someone in a private conversation, or I'll give complements that are quite obviously inappropriate. But at least I'm trying to tone it down, because I never want to make that horrible mistake again.

Nor do I want anyone of you to make that mistake.



Some of you might think it's all fun and games, but I'm sure your significant other wouldn't think it's fun at all from the get go. There are better ways to get fun and excitement and self esteem or whatever it is you're looking for in your life. So I ask again: Is it really worth it? The cheap self esteem boost from the flattery? The tawdry excitement of doing something you know is wrong?

I think it's not worth it. It's all fun until you've had a little too much fun.
Last Edited by Ŧҽҽᶄɑƴ; 06-12-2009 at 08:52 PM. Reason: Reply With Quote
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Old 06-12-2009, 08:34 PM
Fluffy776 Fluffy776 is a male United States Fluffy776 is offline
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Re: Ooh you're hot <3 Come over and I'll give you a massage :333

Yeah I was flirty back in High school. Nothing really bad but I've changed my ways since then. I'm sorry you had to "learn" your lesson that way though. My problem is flirting with someone I wouldn't date. And then it gets out of hand too fast and I end up hurting them. That's the lesson I've learned (mostly anyways).
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Old 06-12-2009, 08:41 PM
forte Morocco forte is offline
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Re: Ooh you're hot <3 Come over and I'll give you a massage :333

You're an awful person.
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Old 06-12-2009, 08:43 PM
Ŧҽҽᶄɑƴ Ŧҽҽᶄɑƴ is a male United Kingdom Ŧҽҽᶄɑƴ is offline
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Re: Ooh you're hot <3 Come over and I'll give you a massage :333

Quote:
Originally Posted by Forte View Post
You're an awful person.
So then you'd agree that flirting with another person while in a relationship is a bad thing? :b
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Old 06-12-2009, 08:45 PM
forte Morocco forte is offline
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Re: Ooh you're hot <3 Come over and I'll give you a massage :333

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Originally Posted by Teekay View Post
So then you'd agree that flirting with another person while in a relationship is a bad thing? :b
haha, perhaps not flirting. But letting the flirtatious habit of yours get the best of you while you're already in a relationship, yes.

Although I don't know you so I can't so for certain whether you actually are or are not an awful person. I was kidding.

EDIT: hmm...perhaps I worded that wrong. I meant, letting the flirting escalate to that point, yes. Clearly if you're flirting the flirtatious nature has already gotten the best of you.
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Last Edited by forte; 06-12-2009 at 08:46 PM. Reason: Reply With Quote
  #6 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 06-12-2009, 08:48 PM
asuru asuru is a female United States asuru is offline
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Re: Ooh you're hot <3 Come over and I'll give you a massage :333

I flirt all the time...



...WITH MY HUSBAND!!!!!!!! Bwahaha! We tease and be all silly with each other all the time. But he and I will never do it with other people. That's a no no, and we both know it.

As for a general 'flirt while in a relationship', don't do it if you are married/engaged, but if you are just dating you aren't really committed, and I don't think a little harmless flirting is too bad. It wouldn't be very nice though. And definitely don't take it too far...
Last Edited by asuru; 06-12-2009 at 08:49 PM. Reason: Reply With Quote
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Old 06-12-2009, 08:56 PM
Durga Durga is offline
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Re: Ooh you're hot <3 Come over and I'll give you a massage :333

I sometimes flirt with straight guys to get them flustered. I do it in a very inconspicuous way, so they can't tell whether I'm joking or not.

I'm nicer around girls, however. I never try to trick them into believing I want to get into their pants. I just want sex. xd
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Last Edited by Durga; 06-12-2009 at 08:56 PM. Reason: Reply With Quote
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Old 06-12-2009, 08:58 PM
Succubus Germany Succubus is offline
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Re: Ooh you're hot <3 Come over and I'll give you a massage :333

I usually never flirt.
The guys used to flirt with me. :/
I kept on rejecting all of the invites to be their gf because I don't want to be hurt over and over again by a boy.
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Old 06-12-2009, 09:00 PM
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Re: Ooh you're hot <3 Come over and I'll give you a massage :333

**** Teekay. The title of this is so deceiving.
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Old 06-12-2009, 09:03 PM
Yesterday Yesterday is a male United States Yesterday is offline
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Re: Ooh you're hot <3 Come over and I'll give you a massage :333

The thing with me is that I flirt with chicks all I want due to my singleness.
But there's always that one girl who catches my eye and my thoughts (but no pervy stuff)
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Old 06-12-2009, 09:08 PM
Galedeep Canada Galedeep is online now
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Re: Ooh you're hot <3 Come over and I'll give you a massage :333

I don't tend to flirt if I'm 'with' someone, so I can't really relate to the experience.

But, I can talk about it from a different perspective. Because I am a pretty shameless flirt. If I am into a person, I will flirt with them regardless if they are in a relationship or not. Not physical flirtation (like the thread title suggests), but verbally, absolutely. I'll even do it if the boyfriend is around (though, you know, not if they are right next to me or anything). It's fun, it's something I enjoy doing. The way I figure it, I'm not really responsible for maintaining another person's relationship, so I am free to flirt with a person, single or not. It's their call whether they reciprocate or not.

Though at the same time, I know when to quit, if I am making the lady uncomfortable or the boyfriend is giving me the fish-eye or whatever. I also am not really interested in taking things past flirtation. I do it for kicks and because it's a fun way to interact with a lady whose company I enjoy, not because I am interested in sabotaging people's relationships.
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Old 06-12-2009, 11:27 PM
Fluffy776 Fluffy776 is a male United States Fluffy776 is offline
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Re: Ooh you're hot <3 Come over and I'll give you a massage :333

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Originally Posted by Commissioner Postman View Post
**** Teekay. The title of this is so deceiving.
it does make you expect something

Damn I had something else I wanted to say. Must not have been important I guess.
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Old 06-13-2009, 12:22 AM
Ŧҽҽᶄɑƴ Ŧҽҽᶄɑƴ is a male United Kingdom Ŧҽҽᶄɑƴ is offline
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Re: Ooh you're hot <3 Come over and I'll give you a massage :333

Quote:
Originally Posted by nolan View Post
Though at the same time, I know when to quit, if I am making the lady uncomfortable or the boyfriend is giving me the fish-eye or whatever. I also am not really interested in taking things past flirtation. I do it for kicks and because it's a fun way to interact with a lady whose company I enjoy, not because I am interested in sabotaging people's relationships.
It may be fun, but my point is it can sabotage relationship whether you intend for that to happen or not.
Last Edited by Ŧҽҽᶄɑƴ; 06-13-2009 at 03:37 AM. Reason: Reply With Quote
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Old 06-13-2009, 12:41 AM
Kedsy Kedsy is offline
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Re: Ooh you're hot <3 Come over and I'll give you a massage :333

If you were more of a playa, you could have had both. You just gotta know how to mix up the messages and BS your way to pimperial standards.
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Old 06-13-2009, 01:54 AM
Xeno Xeno is a male Xeno is offline
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Re: Ooh you're hot <3 Come over and I'll give you a massage :333

I rarely flirt, if at all. The ladies pretty much just come on to me; straight up.
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Old 06-13-2009, 02:06 AM
Fluffy776 Fluffy776 is a male United States Fluffy776 is offline
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Re: Ooh you're hot <3 Come over and I'll give you a massage :333

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikhael View Post
I rarely flirt, if at all. The ladies pretty much just come on to me; straight up.
I don't know about you but I hate that. I'm always worried they're just flirting with the nerd for the hell of it. Though outside of school it was always different.
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Old 06-13-2009, 02:18 AM
Adm Manhammer Adm Manhammer is a male United Kingdom Adm Manhammer is offline
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Re: Ooh you're hot <3 Come over and I'll give you a massage :333

Quote:
Originally Posted by Forte View Post
You're an awful person.
This.

If there's one thing I can't stand, it's people who can't remain committed in a relaionship. The whole idea behind a relationship is that it's you and one other person. Ideally, neither one of you is supposed to go looking for a bit on the side, and flirting with other people is the first step to that. If it ever starts to happen again, think about how you'd feel if your partner was cheating on you in this fashion. If you wouldn't like it, then stop. If you wouldn't care, then...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Forte View Post
You're an awful person.
Being the dazzlingly attractive and incredibly charming gentleman that I am, it's not uncommon for girls to flirt with me. I simply point out that I'm in a relationship (and, most of the time, so are they), because I have what is known as moral backbone. And that, good sir, is something you must develop.
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Old 06-13-2009, 02:22 AM
Xeno Xeno is a male Xeno is offline
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Re: Ooh you're hot <3 Come over and I'll give you a massage :333

Usually when a girl flirts with me, they tend to have a general interest in me. I think there's only been one or two occasions where someone has flirt with me just for the hell of it. I ended up getting a laugh or two because both times they messed up.
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Last Edited by Xeno; 06-13-2009 at 02:22 AM. Reason: Reply With Quote
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Old 06-13-2009, 02:24 AM
Fluffy776 Fluffy776 is a male United States Fluffy776 is offline
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Re: Ooh you're hot <3 Come over and I'll give you a massage :333

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikhael View Post
Usually when a girl flirts with me, they tend to have a general interest in me. I think there's only been one or two occasions where someone has flirt with me just for the hell of it. I ended up getting a laugh or two because both times they messed up.
I can never really tell. Women are confusing :|
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Old 06-13-2009, 03:00 AM
Ŧҽҽᶄɑƴ Ŧҽҽᶄɑƴ is a male United Kingdom Ŧҽҽᶄɑƴ is offline
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Re: Ooh you're hot <3 Come over and I'll give you a massage :333

Quote:
Originally Posted by Adm Manhammer View Post
If it ever starts to happen again, think about how you'd feel if your partner was cheating on you in this fashion. If you wouldn't like it, then stop. If you wouldn't care, then...
Actually, I'm not the one doing the flirting this time around....so yah, I know just how it feels.
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