To all who have lost a loved one

To all of you in the forum who have lost a loved one, I now feel your pain. I lost my mother to cancer four weeks ago, and it's a pain that I can't get rid of. It just waits for me to be alone in my apartment at night, then I start to remember all the things my mother did for me. My mother was a true hero to my siblings and I, she did things for us and other people without expecting anything in return. It was beautiful at her funeral, because so many different religions, races and ethnicities were united in peace to see my mother. She brought people together, and loved life. I am just sorry we could not save her. I know this may sound corny, but I often saw myself kinda like Link, trying to save her and be some kind of hero. But I learned that she was the hero, and my siblings and I were the ones who needed to be saved. We will always look up to her, and never forget her. When heroes die, they become legends, which is the only true form of immortality. My mother is a legend to all of us, and she will always live on in us until the day we go to meet her, then we won't need her to live in us, cause she will physically be with us in paradice.

I'm sorry your mom died. Cancers a bad thing. I've lost a few loved ones and it does hurt. I've lost a grandmom and i loved her alot.

i also lost a grandmother, greatgrand mother and father recently
and yes charles it really does hurt

i loved them all dearly and even though my grandmother died when i was young and i don't really know her i miss her dearly just as much if not more

Oh man, thats hard to deal with... I am so sorry. I have a deceased grandmother, but she dies a long time ago. I do feel pain though, I have a dying grandfather. It is really sad whenever I have to go see him, probably worse than living through his actual death. I am sorry about what happened, but time will heal the wounds.

my grandma died a while ago
everyone in my family loved her a lot
thats sad to hear that your mother died

I'm sorry about that, charles, I really am. I know how it is to lose someone (my baby sister was only six months old when she was taken), and you have my sympathy. I'm not religious, so I'm not about to pray for her, but I can offer you some advice. Remember her well, because even though she may be gone, you still have the memories to go by. Love isn't something that dies when the person does. Don't get too caught up about it, either. Find sanity in routine, but remember to not completely forget. Mouring is natural for everybody, and some do it more than others. Everyone has their own way with coping, and you need to find yours. When you do, you'll feel better about things. Remember, don't dwell on the past, but look to the future, because that will get you knowhere.

I know how you feel charles. I lost my grandfather a couple of years ago, and my great aunt last year. I really hate when stuff like this happens, even though I'm a christian and your mother's probably in Heaven. I dreamed about them for a while, but then got over it, but I'll always miss them.

I can empathise with you Charles. My grandmother died a few years ago. I really loved her and even though I was young it hurt like hell. Recently my Great Aunt has been told she has a tumor in her lung. So That is real bad. Athough you wouldn't know she was sick. My mum visited her in hospital and she told me that she was beeing real cheeky to the doctors. She is kind of a biggot. She was shouting her head off in the waiting room about how she didn't want to be operated on is the surgen was black.

I can really feel sorry for you Charles. More then 17 people have died in my family since I was born, it's kind of like a yearly occurence, at least one a year, maybe a couple...I just kind of got used to it -_-

charles, your mother sounds like the kind of person I would like to be. One whose kindness and love and generosity spans all boundaries.

I don't think that I can honor your mother any more than by saying that. She must have been one of the few truly truly great people this world sees.

Don't worry charles, you're not alone, we're here for ya. I too have lost someone, my twin sister. While it was no doubt harder on my mother and sister, most of my family don't realize how it was for me. But nay, let us not dwell upon the past, or mourn in self pity, because I know that my sister is in heaven today, no matter what some may say. If you need to talk, my PM box is open.

I am sorry charles, my grandfather died a year ago and the worst thing is that I did not see him one last time, last time I saw him was on 1997, and he died on 2003. But I am really sorry, yeah it really hurts when you know someone from your family died.

Aww. I'm so sorry. I hope you recover from a tradgic loss. That must be really hard for you. A mom is like, your life. I don't want to make things worse for you.

I'm not really good with this kind of stuff, but I can spare some sympathy.

I think that the only person who I can actually remember who died was my great-grandfather. He died in 2002.

Try and move on a little though. I am not saying you should forget your mom, never would I say that. BUt you can't always keep something like this on your shoulder. You can go into depression, and not do good in school because all you'd be thinking about is your mom. Maybe there is something that you can do to get all of your thoughts out of you when your ready to do something new. Like write a book about all the great stuff your mom has done for you, and the stuff you have done together. Then, whenever you feel lonely or left out, go and read it. Your mom would be there reading over your shoulder with you.

I should be quite now.

My grandfather is dying. He has cancer (again) and isn't doing very well. He is a very strong person, living through two cancers, a stroke, and several other major health issues, and I can't believe he's fading. We were planning on him coming to my Confirmation, but now that's a fallen hope. I've never had to directly deal with death before, as anyone I've known who's died passed when I was very young and I don't remember anything past yesterday. I'm in a dark place where I don't want to be.

But yesterday, we had a discussion at my church about how good can come out of suffering, and I finally see that having to deal with death will change me for the better. It's strange how experiences can change a person. I know I'm going a little off-topic, but I hope my little lecture will help you all to appreciate what gifts can come from loss.

Let me just say that I suffered rheumatic fever last year, which is a condition that can cause severe arthritic conditions. I wound up in a wheelchair for the better part of the summer, and doctors said I might not get out of it until Christmas. I felt crushed, but thanks to the support of my relatives and people at church I got out of it by July. Now I'm a stronger person than ever and haven't even gotten ill in a long time.

I hope that I can deal with my grandfather's death, whenever and wherever it comes, with the same strength. And I just want to let everybody know that your life may suck, but there's always someone out there who's doing much worse. Whenever you suffer, think of how much better off you are than some other people, who might lose their family to gang violence or starvation every day.

On that note, I end.

I understand what you're living Charles. Maybe more than everyone. I lost 2 friends this year and 2 grandparents 3 years ago and I must say that I always think of them and that's a big pain. But there is not only pain, there is the memories that comes to take it away. It take times to accept this but you will do and you'll feel better I can assure you. You can entrust to somebody here I'm sure you will find a good friend and remember that you never are alone.

Feel free to pm me if you want. I'm not a great speaker but I do am a good listener.

i havent lost any real loved ones just... ones and it makes me feel bad cause i think that way. im goin to lose my dad soon cause of how he lives his life (somking and drinking...alot) we joke around avout it sometimes but i mean i feel like really sad because i dont think ill cry when my dad dies. is that bad?

Im really truely sorry about your loss, I havent personally lost anyone close to me but I know it must be hard. For some reason your post kinda touched me, anyways, you have a pm.

I'm terribly sorry that you had to lose your mother charles, I really feel for you.
Your mother truly does sound like a wonderful person to me, a great loving and caring woman.
She will always be with you in your heart, so keep her memory close to you.
Personally I've lost my grandparents to old age and a fire, the loss of loved ones is something hard all of us have to face, take care.