What to do with those pesky Roommates?

Hey, ZU, Kassi here.

Now, I'm a pretty reasonable person when it comes to how others feel, but when I begin to feel they're becoming a nuisance and a hindrance on my comfort and safety, I need to put my foot down.

So, I've come to the realization that my housemates aren't accustomed to "normal" household courtesy, including things like "If you use someone's dishes, wash them, and don't leave them in your room for weeks." and "if you're doing something you don't want people to see, close the door." and finally, "Close and lock all doors in the house at all times."

Lex and I just returned home after watching a movie with our friend. It's now 12:30 in the morning, and we found our garage door open. The door going to the house from the garage was unlocked, too. This would be a warm welcome if we didn't live in the heart of "shady Riverside."

This wouldn't irritate me as much if it were the first time it's happened. It would definitely irritate me less if I hadn't told them just before we left that they need to learn to lock the doors. Alas, that was too much to hope for.

I was silly to leave my car unlocked, assuming it would be safe in the garage because I closed the door. However, my roommate came home later, and decided not to close the garage because it takes a lot of energy to push the button right by the door. So, needless to say, I now have lost my CD's, wet wipes, some change, and Lex's cell phone because it was in my car. Some guy just walked in and helped himself to it. You would think this would alert my roommate. I was furious and told him, and he said, "Was anything taken from my car?" I don't know, nor do I care.

Last week, I came home from work at 10:30 at night, to find the front door not only unlocked but wide open. None of the lights are on in the house. He was upstairs, and obviously had no intention of CLOSING the door. I mentioned this to him today, and the other housemate, and they both said "Oh, it was him." Neither of them took the blame, neither of them wanted the responsibility of keeping things safe. I clearly stated to them, "If you come in this house, make sure the doors are locked. When you leave, make sure they are locked. We don't live in Beverly Hills, and we've already had stuff stolen because of doors not being locked."

You would think that would be clear enough.

So now it's 12:30 in the morning, we come home, and the garage door is open, the door into the house is unlocked, the light is on downstairs, and nobody is home.

Needless to say, I'm furious.

So, Zelda Universe, it's come to this. What the heck do I do? I don't feel safe in my own home. As much as I like taking the heaviest nearby object and checking all corners of the house for hiding intruders, I think there's a better solution. I've already tried talking to them several times, and leaving notes, but that doesn't seem to work. I've been reasonable. Talking hasn't gotten me anywhere, so what can I do to take action? I don't want my safety to be at risk anymore because of rude, lazy, and negligent roommates.

How can I get them to at least close and lock the doors in our house? (I'll worry about telling them to stop partying, clean my dishes when they dirty them, shut off the lights when they're not being used, and give themselves the privacy when no one wants to see that later.) It's been made clear that this is a safety issue, and I'm at my wits end. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you.

Oh, my word. How do you put up with that, Mrs. Kassi? If that was me, they would of been gone a while a go. No offense or anything, but I wouldn't put up with that anymore if I were you. I would find it totally stressful, frustrating, and just overall draining - which isn't good for anyone. It was nice enough for you to let them live with you, and I think they should very well return the favor by pulling their weight around.

Unless it's not you're house, but rather a house that you're all sharing, then I'd leave and look for another place to say. Sorry if this sounds a wee over dramatic, but that doesn't sound good at all.

Well, you could try taking some of their things, hiding it, whereas they think it's stolen or something, and then you inform them that someone probably walked right in and stole it.. you know? Maybe that's a bit harsh, but I would do it.

Anyways. I hope this all works out for you, miss. Very, very, very soon. Best wishes. <3

I'd try intervention by a third party. Preferably someone older. If you are concerned for your safety, then you might want to get serious help. Someone that you know well. Parents perhaps. Even after the kids move out, they still care. Whether you get yours or theirs, either should do. So long as you know you can trust them.

First things first, if you're worried about your stuff, get a lock to your own door. :3 If a thief comes into the house, they'll only be able to loot everybody else's stuff (and it sounds like it might teach them a lesson).

As for solving the actual problem, I have several cunning solutions, but I also have doubts as to just how legal they are. If we look beyond that particular problem of "my roommates won't lock all the doors", we come to the root problem of "I'm living in an area in which I'm afraid for my belongings if I don't lock the doors." If someone saw our door open here in Singapore at 2am, they'd probably close it for us and keep walking. You shouldn't need to fear for your house so much in the first place.

This is exactly why Power Shot is so terribly paranoid about his own belongings.

He recommends purchasing locks for your personal belongings, as he has in case his own roommate forgets on accident to leave the door unlocked in his dorm room. He then recommends informing your roommates that if habits do not change than you have absolutely no problem changing the locks when they are out to make sure that the house is secure. Let them know security is very important to you, and their convenience must take a lesser stance in the matter.

Has anyone considered that it was intentional? In that case, pull their car out and leave the doors wide open.

Otherwise, if you can't boot them, install video cameras to catch them and do whatever seems fit.

Power Shot has some good points.

All I can say if they are breaking your rules and aren't using common sense, kick their asses out. Like you say, it's a safety issue and somebody gonna get harm if the **** keeps going on.

Kassi, I would simply lock them out for a couple of days - no questions asked.

Locks for your own doors are a very good idea.

It's what I do, my housemates are pretty good about locking up, but it's nice to not have to worry at all even if they forget.

Threaten to evict them if they don't wise the **** up.

Originally Posted by CurryMonster

Threaten to evict them if they don't wise the **** up.

This. Don't put up with their ****. Confront them personally and tell them to shape up or ship out. There's no excuse for what they're doing, and if they don't listen, tell them to find somewhere else to live. That's ****ing disgraceful, putting your house and belongings at risk like that. Of course, if it's not your home and you're all entitled to sharing the place, get personal locks for your own door and keep all your valuables safe. With how stupid they're being, someone's bound to break in sooner or later, and tehy'll only have themselves to blame for anything that happens.

We're not the landlords, y'all, so about 99% of your suggestions (okay, 75% with the door-locking thing) are fairly useless.

Just saying. =|

We actually already have a door lock that we use when we sleep, but we have no key (it was there when we moved in). Unfortunately a new lock isn't in the budget right now (rent and the ridiculous utility sums we've had since we moved in have raped us, and the job market/financial aid suck =|.

Thanks anyways guys.

Now I'm sucky with definitions, but wouldn't asking the owner work out?

I know exactly what you're dealing with. I had a piece of trash for a roommate that I was stuck with for a year. Honestly, some people are too stupid to understand common courtesy. The best thing you can do is try and keep your things locked up in your room even if you have to put a new locking doorknob on your bedroom door. Always keep your car locked too. As soon as you are able to, move the hell out of there.

That's the only way I was able to deal with my roommate. When I think of that douchebag, the hatred just starts bubbling out. I feel for you because I know how much it sucks to deal with it.

Like someone said before, contact the owner. Or, if anything is stolen, sue for profit. That way, you can move out, and put them in debt.

If all else fails, put Nair in their shampoo.

Informing the owner is definitely a good idea. Even if he isn't concerned about your property, he will definitely be concerned about the sanctity of his property, something which is jeopardized by the irresponsible behaviour of your roomates. They may hate you for it, but this will force them to either change their behaviour or be evicted.

Kick them out.

Eat or hide all of your'e roomates food and eventually they will have no choice but to leave.

eat them

alive