Why is it that people become *****es after a breakup?

someone can break up with you, and request to still be friends, and you can be nice to them about it. Say nothing mean or hurtful to them... yet shortly thereafter it degrades to crap... How the hell does that happen?

Tension from your past relationship?

It doesn't always happen though. I'm still pretty good friends with my ex.

Explains the *****ing about adultery, certainly.

I would say it's because of realisations you make once the emotional attachments dissipate. They were always that way - you just never saw it because you were blinded by emotions/hormones.

Hm. Well, it can be related to the reason why the couple broke up - person could, at first, try to be civil but then replays events over and over and goes ****, you suck, and la-di-dah, some hatin' happens. Sometimes they just wanna look like they're over you and don't want to show any sort attachment to you. Sometimes they can be mad if you got over them pretty fast and seem to be enjoying yourself without their affection in your life. It can also be because they might want space from you after the break-up, but feel you're not really giving that. I don't know. Lotsa reasons why it can happen.

Break ups are one of the most psychological pain to human beings, depending on how long and how instense the relationship and romance was during that specific time period.

There is also a fact that it is that bad that some people commit suicide in horrific ways to mend their broken heart. It's really, really sad actually.

Many reasons can happen but it's hard to answer them like a quiz. There are many psychologcial, emotional problems that relate to breakups. Each of them unique as the very individual itself.

Originally Posted by Lelouch

Explains the *****ing about adultery, certainly.

I would say it's because of realisations you make once the emotional attachments dissipate. They were always that way - you just never saw it because you were blinded by emotions/hormones.

This pretty much. I'm going through this right now actually(really pointless sidenote >_<). You can try, but ultimately it seems like all the negatives just build up. There's also the fact the one who did the dumping wants to be friends, they're already moved on. Whereas the dumpee still has a lot of emotions. They can't help but feel bad. I know this is true for me, but rage comes shortly after. You just get mad at the person(depending of course on what they did etc.) its hard to be friendly if you're mad at the person.

Doesn't always have to be that way. I talk to people that I have had relationships with, and we are civil at the very least.

Originally Posted by Jodd

Doesn't always have to be that way. I talk to people that I have had relationships with, and we are civil at the very least.

Depends on how involved it was really imo. I dunno, still a little foggy in the head.

Originally Posted by squall24

Depends on how involved it was really imo. I dunno, still a little foggy in the head.

Mine was pretty involved.

It's a coping mechanism.

Originally Posted by Jodd

Mine was pretty involved.

Sorry, didn't mean for it to sound like I was delving.

Last time I broke up with someone I severed all communication. I don't think that went over well for him but frankly, I really needed to. I wasn't comfortable with having him there and I need to do what makes me comfortable.

Someone whose relationship with me has been terminated is not my responsibility. I don't like myself for following that philosophy sometimes, but I know it's true.

To be honest, if you're in a relationship with someone that you weren't friends with before you started the relationship, I see little reason to remain in contact afterwards, since the only reason for your correspondence and meetings to begin with was the relationship itself. You didn't approach them because you wanted to be friends with them, you approached them (or they approached you) to form a relationship. Once that relationship fails, there's nothing left really. I mean you CAN remain civil afterwards but if one party or the other don't see the other as friends, but purely as relationship fodder, then that's pretty much it.

If you were friends with this person prior to the relationship, and then a relationship formed, there's no reason you can't just go back to being friends unless something incredibly terrible happened.

Originally Posted by Aziel Satori

It's a coping mechanism.

Exactly, or you get both former partners missing eachother and eventually getting back together, only to fail again.

Originally Posted by Willian Zelda4ever

Exactly, or you get both former partners missing each other and eventually getting back together, only to fail again.

It's a sad, yet true fact. Not all relationships end up like fairy tales sadly.

Originally Posted by nighthawkx

someone can break up with you, and request to still be friends, and you can be nice to them about it. Say nothing mean or hurtful to them... yet shortly thereafter it degrades to crap... How the hell does that happen?

Because the people in the relationship are most likely still hurt by whatever it was that caused the breakup. They may request to still be friends because they have some hope of reviving the relationship, or they may just be unwilling or afraid to let go of somebody they cared about. Whatever caused the breakup more than likely severed the bonds of trust which are needed even in a platonic relationship, making it too difficult to maintain friendship.

Being friends afterwards rarely works... stepping up a notch in a relationship is much easier than stepping down.

How can being friends after a relationship be that difficult and rarely works?

I'm not being cold as I have been in very similar, but a worst situation on this matter.

As I say, you can forgive but never forget...

It's a coping mechanism. In the long run it is possible to be friends again, but right after the fact? That's just bad business.

All you will see in that person is bad memories or regret. Time away is the only real answer.

Your words are always true Aziel.

Going straight back to the person just after the breakup will always result in worse outcomes.

Time heals everything.

My words apply to all intimate relationships, whether it's between lovers, friends, or family.

Sticking around will only create a rift between those involved. It will only sustain negative emotions. It's like digging at a wound, never letting it heal on its own.