Why is it that people become *****es after a breakup?

What is necessary for you EL, is to learn to live with yourself.

Just you and no one else, you have to learn to be self sufficient and independant, emotionally so at least.

It's very important to do so. It won't be easy though, nothing is.

Yeah I know. People and carers keep telling me that.

It's like someone close to me has just died and you have to take everything in your own hands, something that is extremely hard to grasp.

I once had someone I loved die suddenly. I was more angry than sad I think.
I moved on quickly.

Not everyone is a survivor though.

Oh Aziel... Oh I feel so sad for your lose. It must have been so hard to know that he will never come back.

You truly are a strong person... A survivor.

And yes, sadly some people just don't survive.

Meh, I live with a survivor mentality. I used to have the sorrow that came with that mentality but not anymore.

I just shed it off. Left it behind.
It is oh so easy now, because I know if and when it will happen.

Bad breakup, nighthawk?

Meh, I've been apart from my ex for about 2 months, after a year and 1 month of being together. It was mutual, but the reason I don't speak to her is because it does feel pretty awkward and not to mention, she is now dating a friend of mine. She has become highly naive, but that doesn't mean I hate her. The way I look at it, she's pretty much moved on and so have I. If we start talking again, great.

But do you miss her in anyway Nox?

I did, but now that I'm making more and more friends, I really don't care. The fact that she is hanging around some negative thinking former friends of mine has me worried a bit that she's becoming like them, but she'll learn to move on. Hey, what happens happens and you can't fight that.

I'm pretty much unable to get attached to people like that anymore, really. Not to claim that I wouldn't be upset, but I wouldn't dwell on it for weeks on end. No use crying over spilt milk.

In my experience, people are afraid of screwing up the relationship--depending upon how commited they want to be to the other person--so that fear gets in the way of them being themselves. Then the breakup happens and the more realistic versions of people tend to pop up.

On the oppossite side, people are afraid of hurting the other's feelings so that prevents them from being themselves as well.

IDK, does that make sense?

That's how my last one ended up.
She was 7 years older than me. = /

Originally Posted by Devia Erasmus

That's how my last one ended up.
She was 7 years older than me. = /

Nothing wrong with older women.

Originally Posted by Lelouch

Nothing wrong with older women.

no complaints here either.

Untill they start suspiciously alluding towards the ideas of Babies and marriage 2 months into a relationship and we hardly know each other....

Love doesn't truly exist. It's a false emotion created by humans to explain the chemical/hormonic and sexual attraction to people of the same or opposite sex.

Originally Posted by Chad Kosterz

Love doesn't truly exist. It's a false emotion created by humans to explain the chemical/hormonic and sexual attraction to people of the same or opposite sex.

This too.

Originally Posted by Nox

Bad breakup, nighthawk?

Meh, I've been apart from my ex for about 2 months, after a year and 1 month of being together. It was mutual, but the reason I don't speak to her is because it does feel pretty awkward and not to mention, she is now dating a friend of mine. She has become highly naive, but that doesn't mean I hate her. The way I look at it, she's pretty much moved on and so have I. If we start talking again, great.

I wouldn't say a bad breakup, but I haven't had much experience in regards to relationships and I'm probably a bit overly sensitive in general. Didn't go south until a week after the break up, she was really nice and chatty until then, and we still talked on AIM a fair bit as friends. I had no intention of renewing the relationship(would have turned down another chance) and I knew she moved on and was dating another guy, but I was still a bit sad and I asked one of her friends for advice on helping me move on since I KNEW I needed to, and she got all *****y from there thinking that I'd turn her friends against her or some **** like that. Even from text I just saw a dramatic change in her demeanor towards me instantly. It saddened me a bit because I still wanted to be her friend, but most definitely it did help me get over it a bit faster than otherwise possible.

I really probably was a bit overly into it, had friends telling me I could do better since while she wasn't bad looking(60-70th percentile perhaps), I'm apparently a lot more attractive than i give myself credit for.

Whatever the case, breakups happen to the best of us and it always ends up as **** anyway.

Originally Posted by Rew

I was merely making an observation, not a recommendation.

Oh, and just to further clarify any confusion, let me actually give my own recommendations for situations such as breakups, falling out with close friends, and family problems.

While it is true that many choose to vilify the other as a coping mechanism, and while this can be helpful in overcoming feelings for that person, this is hardly the right way to go about it--and ruins any potential for reconciliation.

Anyway, as idealistic and naive as it may sound, I think the first attempt should be at a full patching up of differences and trying to come to terms with each other--in other words, reconciliation. Who knows? Perhaps a friendship can be salvaged from the ruins; that should be the goal at any rate.

In many cases, however, this is not likely--at least not at first. So in that case, the better thing to do would be for both parties to give each other distance and space and time to cool off and lick one's wounds as it were. Then maybe later some sort of reconciliation--or at least closure--may be possible.

I think most people are scared to fall in love in again if they did that.

That is why those things are known to be avoided. They don't want those feelings for each other again, because it will turn into rewind and just end just as bad.

Going around in circles won't fix anything.

Originally Posted by Eternal Legend

I think most people are scared to fall in love in again if they did that.

That is why those things are known to be avoided. They don't want those feelings for each other again, because it will turn into rewind and just end just as bad.

Going around in circles won't fix anything.

Was that directed at me?

Originally Posted by Rew

Was that directed at me?

A little... And to others...

Seriously, I'm sorry if I intend to hurt you in anyway. I wasn't meant to. I'm just trying to deal out a broken heart of my own.