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Old 08-07-2008, 01:38 PM
Ketos Ketos is a female Canada Ketos is offline
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The REAL story of 2012!

I hereby conjecture that Cthulhu is the doom that awaits mankind on December 21st 2012. Now, I've never been one for believing in conspiracy theories like this silly Mayan calender thing, but when you look at the evidence, it makes perfect sense. For example:

DNA Ingredients may have came from space
Human ears evolved from from fish gills
- Therefore: It is not unreasonable to assume that humanity has some sort of ties to a fish from space.
- It is said that Cthulhu will return, "when the stars are right."

"Then, whispered Castro, those first men formed the cult around tall idols which the Great Ones shewed them; idols brought in dim eras from dark stars. That cult would never die till the stars came right again, and the secret priests would take great Cthulhu from His tomb to revive His subjects and resume His rule of earth. The time would be easy to know, for then mankind would have become as the Great Old Ones; free and wild and beyond good and evil, with laws and morals thrown aside and all men shouting and killing and revelling in joy. Then the liberated Old Ones would teach them new ways to shout and kill and revel and enjoy themselves, and all the earth would flame with a holocaust of ecstasy and freedom. Meanwhile the cult, by appropriate rites, must keep alive the memory of those ancient ways and shadow forth the prophecy of their return."
- It says that the cult will never die until the stars are right and Cthulhu has been freed. The Mayans may have been a powerful form of the Cthulhu cult who died out, but the cult still lives on somewhere...
- The Mayan calender ends on December 21st 2012 because it is, to them, the start of a new astronomical age. On this date, the Earth and Sun will be in perfect alignment with the center of the galaxy.

So you see, the stars will align on this date, and the power of the galaxy's center will be channeled through the sun and allow Cthulhu at last to be sprung from his Earthly prison. Naturally, if the Mayans were a primitive Cthulhu cult, 2012 would be the end of their calender because it would not only be the end of an age, but of the entire human race as we know it! Personally, I'm going to go help free him. Who's with me? Perhaps if I welcome our Great Master to reclaim his rightful domain, my torment will not be eternal! Join me, brothers, as we restore rightful order to the galaxy!

December 21st, 2012. S. Latitude 479', W. Longitude l2343'!!

Also, R'lyeh rose on a Leap year. 2012 is leap year

Who's with me?
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  #2 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 08-07-2008, 01:45 PM
Jaime Lannister Sweden Jaime Lannister is online now
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Re: The REAL story of 2012!

Great Cthulhu, you say?

He'll keep you alive no matter what, and keep you insane. There's no point in helping him, he will not reward you in any way.
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Old 08-07-2008, 01:50 PM
Crab Helmet Crab Helmet is a male United Kingdom Crab Helmet is offline
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Re: The REAL story of 2012!

There are so many fallacies in that post, it'd take hours to list them all.
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Old 08-07-2008, 01:54 PM
Chef Chef is offline
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Re: The REAL story of 2012!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kefka View Post
I hereby conjecture that Cthulhu is the doom that awaits mankind on December 21st 2012. Now, I've never been one for believing in conspiracy theories like this silly Mayan calender thing, but when you look at the evidence, it makes perfect sense. For example:

DNA Ingredients may have came from space
Human ears evolved from from fish gills
- Therefore: It is not unreasonable to assume that humanity has some sort of ties to a fish from space.
- It is said that Cthulhu will return, "when the stars are right."

"Then, whispered Castro, those first men formed the cult around tall idols which the Great Ones shewed them; idols brought in dim eras from dark stars. That cult would never die till the stars came right again, and the secret priests would take great Cthulhu from His tomb to revive His subjects and resume His rule of earth. The time would be easy to know, for then mankind would have become as the Great Old Ones; free and wild and beyond good and evil, with laws and morals thrown aside and all men shouting and killing and revelling in joy. Then the liberated Old Ones would teach them new ways to shout and kill and revel and enjoy themselves, and all the earth would flame with a holocaust of ecstasy and freedom. Meanwhile the cult, by appropriate rites, must keep alive the memory of those ancient ways and shadow forth the prophecy of their return."
- It says that the cult will never die until the stars are right and Cthulhu has been freed. The Mayans may have been a powerful form of the Cthulhu cult who died out, but the cult still lives on somewhere...
- The Mayan calender ends on December 21st 2012 because it is, to them, the start of a new astronomical age. On this date, the Earth and Sun will be in perfect alignment with the center of the galaxy.

So you see, the stars will align on this date, and the power of the galaxy's center will be channeled through the sun and allow Cthulhu at last to be sprung from his Earthly prison. Naturally, if the Mayans were a primitive Cthulhu cult, 2012 would be the end of their calender because it would not only be the end of an age, but of the entire human race as we know it! Personally, I'm going to go help free him. Who's with me? Perhaps if I welcome our Great Master to reclaim his rightful domain, my torment will not be eternal! Join me, brothers, as we restore rightful order to the galaxy!

December 21st, 2012. S. Latitude 479', W. Longitude l2343'!!

Also, R'lyeh rose on a Leap year. 2012 is leap year

Who's with me?
I puked in my mouth a little. I REALLY don't believe this. AT ALL.
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Old 08-07-2008, 02:00 PM
Jaime Lannister Sweden Jaime Lannister is online now
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Re: The REAL story of 2012!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Coke View Post
I puked in my mouth a little. I REALLY don't believe this. AT ALL.
Duh. It's obvious that the sane cannot comprehend what our universe really is.
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Old 08-07-2008, 02:01 PM
Google Says Google Says is a male Belgium Google Says is online now
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Re: The REAL story of 2012!

Never believed it, never will believe it.
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Old 08-07-2008, 02:32 PM
Shaun United Kingdom Shaun is offline
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Re: The REAL story of 2012!

Kefka, mate, you have truly gone insane.

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Old 08-07-2008, 03:22 PM
Lly Lly is offline
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Re: The REAL story of 2012!

ALL HAIL KEFKA
THE LAST GREAT PROPHET OF CTHULHU
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  #9 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 08-07-2008, 03:47 PM
Link Link is a male United States Link is offline
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Re: The REAL story of 2012!

Wasn't Cthulhu destroyed on Billy and Mandy?

I do believe so, your logic is flawed since Mandy and the Grim Reaper destroyed him through his own prank phone call curse while he was at a golf game.


Ugh, why must I always reveal the truth...
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Old 08-07-2008, 03:54 PM
Light Light is a male United States Light is offline
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Re: The REAL story of 2012!

The true question is, "What will the new Apocalypse date be when December 21, 2012 rolls along?"

That or "Are strawberries vegetables?"
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Old 08-07-2008, 05:22 PM
Nox Nox is a male United States Nox is offline
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Re: The REAL story of 2012!

No, you got it all wrong. You see, 2012 will be the date that the World Wide Suicide Project begins.
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Old 08-07-2008, 05:25 PM
Ketos Ketos is a female Canada Ketos is offline
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Re: The REAL story of 2012!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nox View Post
No, you got it all wrong. You see, 2012 will be the date that the World Wide Suicide Project begins.
...Because many, many people would rather kill themselves than face Cthulhu's wrath! : D

Bah, you all know it's true! D:

Is anyone here with me besides Lly? :<
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  #13 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 08-07-2008, 05:31 PM
Coconut Water United States Coconut Water is offline
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Re: The REAL story of 2012!

Hallowed are the Ori.
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  #14 (permalink)   [ ]
Old 08-07-2008, 05:59 PM
Veritas Antarctica Veritas is offline
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Re: The REAL story of 2012!

I'm not really sure which way to go on this whole Mayan thing, and here I was thinking it was 2011. As for all this about 'the sun and earth aligning and Him springing from his earthy prison'...dunno about that, mate.
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Old 08-07-2008, 08:41 PM
robhc Northern Ireland robhc is offline
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Re: The REAL story of 2012!

I don't usually believe in this sort of thing, but I do believe something will happen in 2012, as so many things are happening or are due to happen. This Mayan calendar, the solar maximum, yellow stone is due to erupt, the list goes on...
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Old 08-07-2008, 08:51 PM
Spidey-Man Spidey-Man is a male Canada Spidey-Man is offline
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Re: The REAL story of 2012!

December 21st, 2012:
World Wide Rape is imminent.
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