The Never-ending battle with self.

For a long time I have had a battle with myself, I have been confused about what I should believe or oven worry about. My thoughts were jumbled up in my head with no way of expression. Since I was about 12 my life has been nothing but pain inside my mind, I'm never sure if I'm doing what is expected of me. The battle that I've gone through is starting to return to me, and it seems worse this time. The pain that surges through me hurts me so much, because it affects all my friends and girlfriend. I'm growing cold and bitter and I can't handle it. I've been sticking with my religion to guide me in the right path. Its just lately I can't seem to stop this spiral of confusion, anger, and hate for all. I don't know what to do about it, I need help, advice. So my question to you is, have you ever felt this way? If so, could you please share with me, I could use some ideas. My whole life is falling apart before my eyes, but no one else can see it happening. My parents are divorced, my step mother hates me, I'm living with my grandparents, my dad wants my to work where I work now because it calms my step mom down. I'm stuck in the middle and I'm sick of it. My girlfriend feels like there is nothing she can do to help me, and my ignorance shuns it all away. Please, if you have any advice I could use it. I'm normally too sarcastic and realistic for this type of thing, but I'll try anything at this point.

Right, first of all, set yourself a realistic goal, anything, to work towards. Lack of direction is always a real downer. When I'm depressed, I work on my maths and science. This not only gets my mind off what I'm upset about, but I also do real well in maths and science ^^

Then you need to fine somthing that makes you smile, a hobby, a person, a pet, a tv show, a food, anything. Try somthing new.

Even if that doesn't work, smile anyway. Sometimes even pretending that everything's good makes everything better.

you know .. i think it's very brave of you to start such a subject ... a lot of the times one is lured to think that the type of thing happens to just him/her ...
i agree about the *battle* word , because it's exactly that.. ( in my case at any rate) it's this constant striving to be your best .. or scolding yourself when you let yourself done. it's easy to get depresed about things like that. Wupmi mentioned the most important thing though (^_^ << miss wise) it's having a goal.
However.. it need not be painful. what i mean is .. you can be on your side! that way you can boost your own ego when you're down, clap yourself on the back when u do do something right, but reproach yourself softly as u would a friend when u make a mistake .. ( i hope i'm making sense)

like anime and wumpi said
you suh try to set a goal, a relistic goal
and talk about this with other people as well, freinds, familt
*thinks*
they can and will help you, if they're your freinds and good family that is
how old are you right now?
that might have something to do with it






p.s.:900th post!! woot

Here is wisdom:

"These things I have spoken to you, that in Me (Jesus is speaking) you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."

"No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it."

"For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places."

"Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

There is wisdom.

Foamy, I'm 18.

Hey Big Bro, thats what I needed to hear. Did you find those in the Bible? That would be my first guess that you did. And thank you to everyone else of had a say in my problem, I'll try your idea's out agian. needless to say, I have already tryed these things, with little or no help. But as I said, I'm to sarcastic for certian things.

i try NOT to get mixed up in religion because its what people tell you to believe and not what you yourself believe. thats how ive managed to stay away from false faith and internal battles. im not sayin thats whats goin on, but religion used to be a problem with me and a cause of a lot of confusion. realistic goals are good. you COULD also try telling your friends and family even if they cant help, theyd know whats goin on and wont freak out if you get pissed for no reason or whatever. ive felt alot of pain recently... a break up. and it wasnt the woe is me kind of pain. it was hate for what she did to me. she dragged me along in the dust and shards of glass as if i was a some "thing" she could manipulate and use to her liking. it destroyed my self worth and the hate grew within me... i still hate her for what she did, tho not as much. i realize now that theres nothing wrong with me, and that its her has a problem. i realized that she wasnt what i thought she was and it was time to break away. im sorry if this doesnt help in any way, but i cant say i didnt try.

majora-

EVERYONE goes through something similar to this, whether its very mild or very serious. In your case. it *seems* like its on the serious side...

I promise I'll try to help, but you really didnt explain cleary what EXACTLY the problem is. Your confused and frustrated about your life...your thoughts are all jumbled up, problems and you dont know how you should be. That is a step in life that usually takes place a bit younger than 18, but can effect you your whole life. However, what EXACTLY your confused and frustrated about, [more specific then just your life in general] will help others and will help me give more accurate advice...

I didn't know you were having a problem, Mike. Well, I might've had an inkling. However I didn't know if you wanted any advice. (I have no idea what the hell is going on)

Yep, majora, all from completely separate parts of the Bible :0) Amazing how they all fit together, isn't it?

John 16:33
1st Corinthians 10:13
Ephesians 6:12
Romans 8:37

(note: I just put the starting verse, not the ending verses. Some are longer than one verse)

I was amazed, myself, at how perfect the order was. I was just trying to think up verses for you (with prayer, of course) and that's how they came out :0)

And you were in my prayers, just two hours ago, too, by the way. Just wanted to let you know that someone is praying for you :0)

Originally posted by XLinkX
majora-

EVERYONE goes through something similar to this, whether its very mild or very serious. In your case. it *seems* like its on the serious side...

I promise I'll try to help, but you really didnt explain cleary what EXACTLY the problem is. Your confused and frustrated about your life...your thoughts are all jumbled up, problems and you dont know how you should be. That is a step in life that usually takes place a bit younger than 18, but can effect you your whole life. However, what EXACTLY your confused and frustrated about, [more specific then just your life in general] will help others and will help me give more accurate advice...

You might have missed the part when I said that I've gone through this before, and its coming back. I can't really generalize what is wrong with me, its just everything that has fallen on my shoulders. I feel as if I'm doing something wrong all the time. The more I supress everything the deep it goes, I try to let my feelings out, but I can't. Talking never seemed to help me before, and it just never helped. But I want to at least try to figure this out with help. God created me to be a helper of others, ( I figured this out during my studies with the bible ) and I've been doing it as he guides me, but in turn, I have to take up the responsiblity of have everyones problems on my shoulders. It just seems that I was destin to take on this role, and sort things out if I can...

Originally posted by Big Bro Davidia
Yep, majora, all from completely separate parts of the Bible :0) Amazing how they all fit together, isn't it?

John 16:33
1st Corinthians 10:13
Ephesians 6:12
Romans 8:37

(note: I just put the starting verse, not the ending verses. Some are longer than one verse)

I was amazed, myself, at how perfect the order was. I was just trying to think up verses for you (with prayer, of course) and that's how they came out :0)

And you were in my prayers, just two hours ago, too, by the way. Just wanted to let you know that someone is praying for you :0)

I'll have to remember those and look them up. Thanks man..

Yeah man, no prob :0) In fact, my pleasure.

Yes, we are called to help others. How do we help, though? That makes all the difference.

Do we help others feel good about themselves even if what they are doing is wrong (according to what we know)? Or, do we help them as Christ would? Surely, as our Savior would.

Well, that is the limit I will allow for myself as a ZU Mod. We won't use this thread to go any deeper into "religious" territory. Let's get together sometime on AIM or IRC or something, and we'll talk things through. You feel called, just as I do, to help others...and I think we could compare notes, no? ;0)

Talk to you later, brother.

*leaves thread*

Aye majora! Good you're happier now. If there is anything you need to talk about, you can send me a PM. I'm ZU's unofficial psychologist!

Cheers and a toast for life!

majora, I ONCE have been in the state where you are right now and I know how you feel and I feel the same pain that you feel. The problem is that we each feel differently, so even if I said that I feel the same, it will never be the same. You know what I mean?

The important thing is to talk with someone that you trust! Someone that will believe in you, someone that will REALLY understand you and not people who are just saying: "Yeah, I know how you feel" when they are not.

if i didn't know any better i'd think your'e locking everything up, all the pain, anger,
i'd say, find someone you can trust and understands you, that would probably be your Gf, and tell how you feel, if she loves you she'l take time to listen to you, i think you should really feel better afterwards

majora, I ONCE have been in the state where you are right now and I know how you feel and I feel the same pain that you feel. The problem is that we each feel differently, so even if I said that I feel the same, it will never be the same. You know what I mean?

I think that everyone goes through this. But I go through it more offten then I should. Its a constant pain that runs through my vains, it hurts everyday that its there. Its a problem that I can't put my finger on. It truely drags me down.

if i didn't know any better i'd think your'e locking everything up, all the pain, anger,
i'd say, find someone you can trust and understands you, that would probably be your Gf, and tell how you feel, if she loves you she'l take time to listen to you, i think you should really feel better afterwards

You hit the nail on the head. To bad when I let it all out, it comes out hard, and well, alot of people get hurt.

Actually, I wrote a long page about what went wrong with me, but then I edited the post because I don't want to remind myself about it.

Have you talked to anyone about your problems other than your girlfriend? While I was pretty much down, people kept on telling me to go see a doctor. Geeze, I wasn't that depressed at the time, and after they said that, it got worse.

I've been to 2 different shrinks. Go figure, it didn't help.