Why Flames of Valor is the best always right guy ever

Ah, yes, the The Almighty Excellent Ruler Kind Monach Dictator Man, also known around here as Flames of Valor. How can one not gaze upon his mightiness and not gasp in awe? For such is his nature, that he is always, always, right.

Many times have I stood on the battlefield against The Almighty Excellent Ruler Kind Monach Dictator Man, and everytime I have lost against this brilliant mind. See, the things is… The Almighty Excellent Ruler Kind Monach Dictator Man has a glimpse in the eye that tell us about the reason for his supreme intelligence, a skill of analyzing and comprehending far beyond any of us. How can this be?

Well I figured that The Almighty Excellent Ruler Kind Monach Dictator Man is just… blessed, by some higher power that just makes him such an incredible person by all means. But especially in the field of being right. Yes, I said it again. This guy is always right! You can ask him anything. What’s 876^ 71.89? Well he just gives you the answer right away. What happens to hamsters on Viagra? They don’t get jet lag when they travel east! I don’t know why I’d ask him such a question, but he gave me that answer, and I looked it up, and it was right.

The real thing about The Almighty Excellent Ruler Kind Monach Dictator Man, is that it doesn’t even stop at such fact questions, it goes to moral matters as well. I once asked The Almighty Excellent Ruler Kind Monach Dictator Man what he thought about the Christianity, and his answer just blew me away! I’m not gonna tell you what he said, it is for you to find out. Because when he says what he thinks, you’re gonna agree. You’re gonna – in that instant – know that what he says is most utterly true, and if you’ve been thinking anything else before, you’re gonna abandon that thought right away and agree with him.

- yes, you are right.

Wow, how many times haven’t I heard that? See, The Almighty Excellent Ruler Kind Monach Dictator Man has a special gift… There’s no real scientific explanation, he just has it. Over the past ten or so years, The Almighty Excellent Ruler Kind Monach Dictator Man has read an uncountable number of books, famous and unknown. Many a time have I talked to him, only to find absent, his mind being busy, his face buried in the deep soil of wisdom printed as words in these books.

I’ve also read a lot, and here comes the twitch. Whenever I’m done with a book, I can remember it pretty clearly for about a week or so, then I start forgetting things. The Almighty Excellent Ruler Kind Monach Dictator Man, though, seemingly just doesn’t do that. He remembers all that he has read, and he also has the ability to on an extraordinary level compare and connect what he has just read, to other things.

Wouldn’t it be extremely boring being right all the time, though? We all know that people with certain abilities sometime grow tired of it, since they don’t find it fun or challenging. I was curious, so I asked The Almighty Excellent Ruler Kind Monach Dictator Man about it. His answer struck me as peculiar, but as always, absolutely right.

- Look, Hombre… discussing things isn’t something you grow tired of. Whenever I talk to someone, new views are revealed to me. There are so many people and so many opinions, I don’t think there’s actually a limit to them. You might think so at first, but what’s really interesting is seeing how people think. If - for example - I’m talking about how we absolutely must keep the death penalty in America, you oftentimes get similar responses. A lot of people just say “no, it’s so cruel and it’s wrong”. I’ve faced that argument before, and I know how to counter it. And when I do, I see people start thinking. Some of them lean towards my view, other try to reconsider the argumentation for their cause. Studying human beings and the way they think is fascinating, and I don’t think I’ll ever grow tired of that.

There’s many truths in the above statement. I too, feel that the human mind is one of the most interesting things there are, and understanding his view, I think he’s right. He just might not lose interest in his doings, and as such, I’m certain that we won’t see a genius fall into depression, but instead see a golden age of right-ness.

The Almighty Excellent Ruler Kind Monach Dictator Man hasn’t always been right though. In all the years I’ve known him, he has been like any other man, until a few years ago, when something happened. He suddenly started being interested in morale, ethics and such things as philosophy and psychology. He learned fast and I was more than impressed. Things changed at home. The Almighty Excellent Ruler Kind Monach Dictator Man basically took control of his household and turned it into something amazing.

I went over there two years ago and witnessed the ultimate way of householding. You have to see it to understand, everything was just logically placed where it would most likely want to be placed. There was absolute correlation between each and every thing in his house, it just seemed so natural. Also, the way the house was taken care of was astonishing to say the least. Everything was written down on a paper on the fridge. I took some time to analyze this paper, where the household rules were cluttered down. What really surprised me was that those weren’t ruled based on force and boring chores, but instead of solidarity and sympathy, something which I’ve never seen working in real life before.

For one, The Almighty Excellent Ruler Kind Monach Dictator Man had realised the importance of REM sleep. His first act was to invent a certain alarm clock. This clock works as following: you put a bracelet on your wrist, which reads your pulse. When you go into REM sleep, your pulse goes down. At this point, you’re harder to wake up, and you’ll also feel very tired when you wake up. On the other hand, if you’re not sleeping heavily and you wake up, you won’t feel tired at all. Ever noticed that? You wake up half an hour too early and you’re all good to go, not feeling much tired at all? Well this clocks works like this: You set the alarm between for example six and eight, and then, when your pulse goes up as you exit the REM sleep, the alarm wakes you up, and you won’t feel much tired at all. It is a glorious invention that helped The Almighty Excellent Ruler Kind Monach Dictator Man’s family. They were all feeling much better in their everyday life, and that positive energy was transferred to working efforts at home.

This is just one example of The Almighty Excellent Ruler Kind Monach Dictator Man’s utter genius. I think it’s only a matter of time before he takes command of his country. Not only as President, but as its ultimate leader. I know people in America are against dictatorship, but as one of Democracy’s fathers, Voltaire once said: the ultimate way of govern is by the hand of an enlightened dictator.

I think… no, I know that The Almighty Excellent Ruler Kind Monach Dictator Man would make this world a better one. Surely, it would be a revolution so much bigger than anything we’ve ever experienced. And this won’t necessarily come to the sacrifice of having him listening to his fellow citizens. I’m positive that he would govern with reason and listen to his people, as it’s in his nature to do.

However, as I briefly mentioned this to The Almighty Excellent Ruler Kind Monach Dictator Man, he said to me:

- My dear Hombre, as flattered as I am by your thoughts, I refuse to believe it is in the human nature to be governed unless something important is at stake. Look at the world as it is today. Some people have it really good out there. Look at me, being a moderately wealthy American, minding my own business. Look at yourself, living in a country not having a grudge with anyone, riding on the wave of welfare. We don’t need someone to govern, no one to decide for us. As such, I would’ve feel like such a douche trying to govern people… However, I cannot deny the fact that this world needs governing as of now. There are still things to take care of, conflicts to be solved and people needing to be rescued from injustice.
Is it my destiny to save these people? Is it my responsibility to rescue this world from its current misery? No. I might be right about everything, but I can’t look after this whole planet, it’s too much for any man. I believe it is my destiny to inform, converse and persuade. People from all over the world will listen once I rise to power. These people will later on utilize my views on their own countries, ultimately leading to a better world. But by then, I will be long gone. My role as leader must be brief, the impact of it must be noticeable, the results: astonishing!

This is a convincing piece of quote. I mean, how can anyone not agree with him? The Almighty Excellent Ruler Kind Monach Dictator Man has once again brought a new insight in my head. His views never stop surprising me and his wisdom is armor piercing.

I believe I’ve described as much as I could. The Almighty Excellent Ruler Kind Monach Dictator Man is indeed a man of excellency and we should all be ever so happy to have him here on these forums. His very presence calms me, as I know that I can always rely on him. The one thing I never should do, however always end up doing anyway, is getting in an argument with him. We’ve been having several argumentations, and I should’ve learned by now, but I never do. Could it be for my passion for discussion and argumentation, and my interest of hearing other people’s views on things? Maybe. In either case, I keep getting in argumentations with this guy, and I keep losing them. However, I always, always end up satisfied, knowing it was worthwhile.

I salute you, The Almighty Excellent Ruler Kind Monach Dictator Man! May your path of life cross all of ours and I know that crossing will be one of unmatched glory and prosperity!

See, I was reasonably certain that clan dares were to stay, you know, in the clans.

Absolutely brilliant, I especially like the part about how I am right about everything.

His e-penis must be over a mile long by now.

What is this? Keep your clan silliness out of my sections.