The General Advice Thread

Originally Posted by Paul

If she has to do god stupid and annoying things like that dump her. Someone gave me a test once, they said they'd go out with me if I acted more mature... dude what the ****!?? It's high school who cares.

.. Umm, people who want a serious relationship care.

I can easily understand why she said she'd only date someone who was more mature... o.O

And Steven, you're obviously fairly young and not that many girls have reached a maturity where they're capable of having a real relationship yet. You may be in love with her, but that doesn't mean she's in love with you. ;_;

I'd listen to Pelagias, if I were you. You need to talk to her and figure out what's going on. Honesty and trust are key to any sort of relationship, and if she won't be honest with you, then it's probably not worth sticking around.

she said she knew it was making me mad and she said that this ws an important test she started this when i told her i was a little jealous of here ex and the fact that she is still friends with him and the fact that one of my friends is being a jerk around her and i didn't like that

A relationship is based on love and trust, not on some kind of childish test. Regardless of her "reasons" for doing this, this is showing disrespect toward the partner. You should think twice about your relationship with her now. This just isn't right. Of course, you are young as well. So both of you should rethink about where you guys are going.

i would like to thank you for what you said even if i didn't agree with what some of you said but i will try to get this figured out in a little while


and no Paul my signature is not new just my avatar and i didn't mean it towards you so sorry for being i'm just messed up over this

if any of you have anything else to say send me a message or simply post it i don't care which

This happend to me once, maybe shes hinting to you she dosen't want to date, I might be wrong, but if you ask me do the same thing or just rise above it and talk to her about it.

She's just trying to make you jealous. You told her you were jealous of her ex, and that gives her a kind power over you, or at least, it does in per point-of-view. You're exposed and she's exploiting it.

From the point-of-view of a female, who has had some friends do the same thing: she's not testing your trust-- she's toying with your feelings. And most likely she's doing it, well, just because she can. Basically, she's walking all over you. And that's what we in the real world call "mean".

At least, that's my take on it. I mean, I hope I'm wrong and she IS just testing your trust.

Originally Posted by Solarian Wolf

A relationship is based on love and trust, not on some kind of childish test. Regardless of her "reasons" for doing this, this is showing disrespect toward the partner. You should think twice about your relationship with her now. This just isn't right. Of course, you are young as well. So both of you should rethink about where you guys are going.

QUOTED FOR TRUTH

SW pretty much summed up what I was gonna say. Except my version was more immature...but whateva.

*moved to general advice thread*

Am i wierd because i havn't ever had a girlfriend at the age of 13 all my freinds have had at least 2

Originally Posted by Phat Monkeee

Am i wierd because i havn't ever had a girlfriend at the age of 13 all my freinds have had at least 2

No, you are not weird at all. It's quite normal for teens not to have a girlfriend or a boyfriend at the age of 13 or so. The fact that your friends have had at least 2 girlfriends each would indicate an unsuccessful relationship. Honestly, many girls and boys aren't usually very serious about relationships with each other, and serious relationships in which both people are honest and dedicated, trusting and loving, often make for the happiest couples. At 13, you're still pretty much developing, as are your friends. You have plenty of time left in which to find somebody who is right for you, seriously. Truly, most relationships are generally best left until you're older and more able to enjoy them, without chaotic hormones influencing your interests.

Listen to Pelagias, Phat. He/she is telling you the perfect answer.

Also, the idea of: "I must have a girlfriend or a boyfriend at this certain stage in my life, because all my buddies have one" is so overrated that the whole purpose of forming a real relationship with a partner that you are going to spend your time and energy with is defeated completely. Now, you have mentioned that some of your friends even have two girlfriends. I just have to say - that's incredibly foolish. In my personal view, I find it totally disrespecting the opposite sex. This isn't just some game.

Of course, there's also a possible chance that you are confusing "just friends" with "girlfriends". If the girls are just friends with your friends, then it's perfectly fine. However, if they are "girlfriends" with your friends, meaning, a relationship of "maturity" (so to speak), then they've lost my respect toward them altogether.

Originally Posted by WindWakerrules

OK, this is just a random thread that a mod can close but this has been tearing at me for ever!!!


OK, my school has three teams blue,orange,and white. Im on the white team, and Im telling ya, its HORRIBLE!!!

Even though we've got 5 class clowns in my class,all of them are horrible!!

1) They cuss alot. One said this to me "You whore" and another one said "Im gonna kick you @$$!!!"

2) They stick thier middle fingers up.

3) They knock everyones books down and go "Oops. Sorry, I didn't mean to."

What am I gonna do?!

Slap them and stand up to them.

Originally Posted by Spaceman Spiff

Um, I'm not sure if this belongs here, but the love advice thread seems to have disappeared, so I'm going to ask here.

What's a good way to bring up interesting conversational topics with a girl you don;t really know at all? We've been introduced, but I have no idea what her personality or interests are, so it's difficult finding something good to talk about. What are just some general topics?

"What's your favorite color? How's life going? What are you interested in?" And all that.

Originally Posted by justin3

Guyz I need some love advice bad....

Heres the deal, my current girlfriend has an over obsession with hugging, holding hands and is keeping me from my school work and friends. I ask her to tone it down a bit but she just says"its required" I have also begun to be scared of her at times when she talks about killing people and mentions strange stuff suck as blood/gore and violance durring class. Her last boyfriend Jake broke up with her for the same reasons. I have thought of breaking up with her because I cant get My X girlfriend out of my head but I dont want to make sarah cry especialy now because shes going through a rough time at home. This is my most desperate post on ZU ever! Please I need advice guyz thanksz!

She's being overpreotective. And there is nothing required when a boy and a girl are together, except respect between the two. I don't think she is respecting you very much. You should break up with her.

Originally Posted by Wolfen

I need help.

I always am doubting whether or not someone is acutally my friend.Or if they are pretending and just being nice and polite. I'm always scarded of that. I just get this feeling that they want me gone. Or that I'm being nosy and butting into their lives or convos.

I feel like a third wheel.

I would love to say, "oh, it's fine, they all love you. =)" but I can't. There is always going to be someone that doesn't like you. =/ I'm sorry, but just keep your guard up until you know you can trust them.

Originally Posted by Phat Monkeee

Am i wierd because i havn't ever had a girlfriend at the age of 13 all my freinds have had at least 2

It's not weird. People fall in love at different times. Just be paitient. =)

Sorry to be random, but my only advice to everyone right now is never, ever get involved in a serious relationship when you're still young, and put things off or change major life plans for your current significant other - because chances are, it ain't gonna work, and when it don't... it's gonna suck.

Other then that... How's everyone?

I love my Fiancee very very much but i don't get on with her mother.

At the start of the relastionship we got on fine, but a year onwards shes as being saying things about me because of thwe way i do things and because they arnt done her way, From time to time she can pick on the most smallest things and make them the biggest deal ever

For me its that she relies on everyone else to solve her prblems for her because she "can't" do much things herself, i do love to help out with her family just her mum knows how throw me down and never help me back up.

For a crisp, clean healthy relastionship i need everything to work on this matter.

Could anyone please suggest anything i could do to help the problem?

Not going to turn you away or anything, but asking a whole bunch of young teens on a gaming site for something as important and as mature as this really isn't the best place to do. Heh. You are getting married this early?

But -

1. You can talk to your fiancee about this issue. See what she thinks.
2. If you and your fiancee are going to get married, are you two going to move out? If you are going to move out and move into a house of your own, then this problem shouldn't last too long.
3. You can try to think of this as a training to see how much you can endure just because you love your fiancee. Not all parents are going to be kind and gentle. Some can be nasty and unbearable.
4. The most important thing is that you love your fiancee. Do it for her, if you can. If you can't... then you really need to sit down and talk about this problem with your fiancee and try to formulate a solution together.

We are both in full time employment and can only afford a flat/apartment so far, But its a start the area she lives in (East belfast) id the heartland of trouble and i hate herliving there shes been wanting to move out for a very long time now, Because of certain people and other things.

But, she is coming to my house tonight hopefully to talk about things and see what we can do about these problems.

Ill keep ya'll informed

Thanks now!

-MP

No problem and best of luck to you both.

Solarian Wolf is quite right. Personally, the best thing to do is change your own ways. Set aside designated times for work and play, and try and pull through with the work. A quiet room free from distractions helps also.

I had a talk with my girlfriend about all the things i had staed in a previsous post.

Thankfully everything has been sorted!!

Many thanks to Solarian Wolf!

Ah, no problem. Glad to see that you and your fiancee have worked things out nicely.