"If you could be half man/half sausage, which way 'round would you have it, and why?"
-Question asked in An Evening With Kevin Smith 2: Evening Harder
"DEATHBOT 2000 DOES NOT APPRECIATE BEING CALLED A 'STUPID TWAT-BOT 69000' ON INTERNET MESSAGE BOARDS AND DEMANDS JUSTICE."
"Oh, there you are, Peter!"
-Pockets, in Hook
"...This is my heart. You are touching it with your left hand, not because you are left-handed, although you might be, but becaues I am holding it against my heart. What you are feeling is the beating of my heart. It is what keeps me alive."
-Everything Is Illuminated (novel)
I can't think of any that make me cry. Generally words alone can't do that, it's how they are presented.
'These hackers call them selves "anonymous" and are an internet HATE machine'
Fox news 11- laughed way too hard
'A puppet that can no longer be used is garbage'
I'm all for moderation
But somtimes it seems
Moderation itself can be kind of extreme
So I join the congregation
Join the softball team
I went in for my conformation
Where incense looks like steam
I start conjugating proverbs
Where there once were nouns
This whole damn rhyme scheme's
Starting to get me down...
“When the habitually even-tempered suddenly fly into a passion, that explosion is apt to be more impressive than the outburst of the most violent amongst us.”
- Margery Allingham, Death of a Ghost, 1934
That's my favorite quote, and one I can relate to quite well. I'll post more when I remember them.
"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself."
– Leo Tolstoy
“Abandon the urge to simplify everything, to look for formulas and easy answers,
and to begin to think multidimensional, to glory in the mystery and paradoxes of
life, not to be dismayed by the multitude of causes and consequences that are
inherent in each experience -- to appreciate the fact that life is complex.”
- M. Scott Peck
“By no way should you grow impatient. Impatience brings uneasiness and distracts the heart." - Majoras Mask
"I do not believe in the creed professed by the Jewish church, by the Roman church, by the Greek Church, by the Turkish church, by the Protestant church, nor by any church that I know of. My own mind is my own church."
- Thomas Paine
“Men fear death as children fear to go in the dark; and as that natural fear in children is increased by tales, so is the other."
- Francis Bacon
“The proper function of man is to live, not to exist.
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
I shall use my time."
- Jack London
"A fool marvels at rare things, but a wise man at common ones."
The following quotes are from the great Bill Cosby. I love these because of how true and funny they are.
"I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time."
"There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God."
"When you become senile, you won't know it."
"Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think - in a deeper voice."
Now these two are from Kuchiki Byakuya who has acouple strong and well thought quotes.
"Disappear. My sword does not exist to crush insects like you."
"What beasts can see is, in the end, no more than the moon reflected in water. Though they may struggle to capture it, they shall only sink to the water's depths."
The belief that there was nothing and nothing
happened to nothing and then nothing magically
exploded for no reason creating everything and then
a bunch of everything rearranged itself for no reason
whatsover into self-replicating bits which turned into dinosaurs.
Makes perfect sense!