Funny Famous Quotes( Or not so famous)

Here is a place where you can just type things that sound like famous Quotes.

A man was sitting in seaworld eating his fish burger thinking, why do they serve sea food at sea world? Oh my god this could have been a slower learner.

This one probably isn't so famous, but It's funny.

"Who dares question my daring...of his dare...JERK!" ~President Bush, Jedi Knight
From the Robot Chicken Star Wars special.

"give a man a fire and he'll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life!"

"America is all about speed - hot, nasty bad-ass speed." -Eleanor Roosevelt



Don't know for sure if this one is right or not.

"I had my internet sent to me yesterday. I got it today, why?" - Ted Stevens

"Why fart and waste it when you can burp and taste it,"
not very funny, but my dad (R.I.P) came up with it.

*gets cramps from laughing* That was quite funny, in a disgusting sort of way.

"A sore thumb is a sore thing, but a sore thing is not a sore thumb."

A friend of mine used to say that.

"I believe that humans and fish can coexist peacefully." - Bush

"You know, I pretty much invented the internet." Al Gore

"What excatly is French before it's fried" Vo Spader

JD in head: (Ok, he hasn't said a word in over ten minutes...The hell with it, I'm going in).
JD: Dr. Cox...
Dr. Cox: Newbie if the next two words out of your mouth aren't "See you," then the third will be, "Oh my God, my crotch, you've punched me in the crotch.
JD: .....See you.

" I am George W. Bush and I approve this message,TACOS RULE!" Bush,Robot Chicken

-Do you swing, Mr. Powers?
-Are you kidding? I put the Grrr in Swinger baby, yeah!!

"Clinton said back in college he smoked weed but didn't inhale. That's like saying... okay... you put a d*** in your mouth, but you don't suck. That's the logic..." - Dave Mustaine

He may be a total ass, but he makes a good point.

Oh yah, I have some quotes from Mitch Hedberg. He was one of the best comedians alive:

"I don't have a girlfriend. I just know a girl who would be really mad if she heard me say that."

"I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life."

Sometimes when I rub my boner, stuff comes out.

Sometimes it's spiders.

"You can't hack life, and you need to learn to play by the rules!"

Coco: "We need visuals, visuals get bands places!"
Bruno: *looks at Coco's chest* "Yeah, but I don't think our visuals are up to it."

from the awesome play, "Fame".

Homer Simpson: "Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try."

Yes Homer, I salute you.

Im walking along, and I see and sign in the road. The sign says pot hole ahead. Now I have two thoughts when I see this. If they have the money to put the sign up to say there is a pot hole, then why not fix it. The second is, Man I wish that was literal. - Martin Cougar

"Attention customers... TESTICLES!!! that is all.": Family Guy