Bleh, arguments...

So, today I had a nice 'ol blowout with my mother in the car.

We first drove out of my cousin's neighborhood, and she asked us if we were tired, as usual. And as usual, we responded "yeahrrm*grumble*".

The conversation sort of took a twist from there. My mother mentioned something about God, and the first thing out of my mouth was "I don't believe in God."

Yes, I said that. My mom sort of froze and commented:
"How can you say that? I told you never to say that again."

"Why?"

"Because it's...evil."

And so, we got into a heated argument over why it's so evil to have an opinion. I was angry. My mom was feeling "low", and my sister was frustrated that she wouldn't except that she's into science over religion.

But whatever, enough of religion. Who cares. The point was that my mother, at the end of the conversation, said she was ashamed of us being her daughters. And meaning it.

Hah. Now how many times do I hear that?

She's always putting me down in some way. The other day she pointed out, bluntly, that I was gaining weight, while that isn't necessarily bad, it was how she said it, like I ate too much.

I'm skinny, jeez. I'm fine with my weight.

Back on track, how do your parents treat you? Sometimes, I wonder how my mother thinks of me. She loves me, sure, but her opinion of me sometimes seems pretty slim.

Do your parents put you down? In my case, it just might be me being too sensitive, but it all hurts in the end, and I wish I didn't have to put up with it...

Lock this if needed. I think similar threads have been created, but oh well. I don't see one active.

Every parent gets in an argument with their child, and they do it for the sake of love. Its always the same ordeal, argument and then make up without even realizing it. It's never gonna stop, though I wish it would,It only causes more headaches...

Originally Posted by Sarah

So, today I had a nice 'ol blowout with my mother in the car.

We first drove out of my cousin's neighborhood, and she asked us if we were tired, as usual. And as usual, we responded "yeahrrm*grumble*".

The conversation sort of took a twist from there. My mother mentioned something about God, and the first thing out of my mouth was "I don't believe in God."

Yes, I said that. My mom sort of froze and commented:
"How can you say that? I told you never to say that again."

"Why?"

"Because it's...evil."

And so, we got into a heated argument over why it's so evil to have an opinion. I was angry. My mom was feeling "low", and my sister was frustrated that she wouldn't except that she's into science over religion.

But whatever, enough of religion. Who cares. The point was that my mother, at the end of the conversation, said she was ashamed of us being her daughters. And meaning it.

Hah. Now how many times do I hear that?

She's always putting me down in some way. The other day she pointed out, bluntly, that I was gaining weight, while that isn't necessarily bad, it was how she said it, like I ate too much.

I'm skinny, jeez. I'm fine with my weight.

Back on track, how do your parents treat you? Sometimes, I wonder how my mother thinks of me. She loves me, sure, but her opinion of me sometimes seems pretty slim.

Do your parents put you down? In my case, it just might be me being too sensitive, but it all hurts in the end, and I wish I didn't have to put up with it...

Lock this if needed. I think similar threads have been created, but oh well. I don't see one active.

Ah, reading this pretty much reflected everything I feel. Though I haven't told my mother that I don't believe in god, I'm sure that she knows. I'm pretty sure that's why she's been treating me differently. Like I'm some sort of damned soul, but whatever...

I can related with basically everything you said. My mom, while a saint in so many others' eyes, likes to demean me. My father is just... urgh. He enjoys calling my brother an idiot, and has recently taken that up with me. They criticize everything I do, everything I say. They tell me that I should put more effort in math, that I should become a doctor and make them proud. I've told them time, and time again... I just don't want to.

I argue with them daily, several times a day... It's inevitable. We are almost as though polar opposites. They value everything I loath, and vis versa.

I seriously don't understand how they are my parents.

I really don't talk to my parents. I'm barricaded in my room playing guitar, or watching TV or something. How could you say that in front of your own mother? My mom also believes in God and all that what not. I ignore it. She hates me listening to all this Heavy metal. She says it's the Devil's music. And I say it's better then Rap. (She likes Rap>>) My dad on the other hand walks in and grabs dirty cloths. He trys to see what I'm doing online that I'm supposedly doing bad. So he doesn't find anything. I caught him on my laptop. Yet he couldn't get into anything. Because it was all locked. So I really don't know how my Parents treat me. I'm in my room almost all day. Either watching concerts, Drawing, making sigs. And all that Dweeby' teen junk.

Originally Posted by Sarah

She's always putting me down in some way. The other day she pointed out, bluntly, that I was gaining weight, while that isn't necessarily bad, it was how she said it, like I ate too much.

I'm skinny, jeez. I'm fine with my weight.

Haha. Lucky. My parents say I eat nothing. They want me to gain weight. I probably weigh the less in my whole family. =] So yeah, my parents aren't to flattered with me being part vegetarian. =P

Originally Posted by Cio

Ah, reading this pretty much reflected everything I feel. Though I haven't told my mother that I don't believe in god, I'm sure that she knows. I'm pretty sure that's why she's been treating me differently. Like I'm some sort of damned soul, but whatever...

Yeah, really. Is it so bad to have a belief? Even though we're young, that doesn't take our right to believe in something.

They tell me that I should put more effort in math, that I should become a doctor and make them proud. I've told them time, and time again... I just don't want to.

There's my dad for you. He's totally against me getting into the arts. He wants me to be a surgeon or something. Either that, or get married and have a lot of kids while being a housewife.

Originally Posted by Derek

I'm barricaded in my room playing guitar, or watching TV or something.

I wish I could do that. I don't have a lock, or a door for that matter. :/

And I wouldn't want to spend time with them anyway. They just give me crap.

How could you say that in front of your own mother?

Say what? That I don't believe in God? Because, well, I don't!

Ay!

My Mom is the greatest. Sometimes she'll explode in anger...but rarely. And when she does, an apology comes an hour later. She's always been so suportive of me, and tells me I'm wrong when I put myself down. The great part is, I know she's not just saying it; she means it. It does help that she's a psychiatrist, though. She does her best, raises my sister and I as well as she can [which is pretty well. she's well paid.] I can talk to her about everything, and she gives me the necessary freedoms, and trusts me.

My Dad, on the other hand...well, we're getting closer. But before my parents got divorced, he sat on his butt on the computer doing nothing. We've got a much better relationship now but I still can't talk to him about all that personal stuff.

I'm also a believer, a strong believer. As is my Mom. My dad never really goes to church much, because he's a pilot and his time schedule is all screwy.

So no, my parents do not put me down. They're the farthest from doing that. They even extend their love to other children; Lady Luck would know.

I usually listen to my parents, though all of us are entitled to our opinions. My advice, don't try to argue a theoretical point with your parents, they'll always win just because they can tell you to be quiet. It helps to avoid arguments.

Oh, and modern science can prove the existence of a higher power ("God").

I can relate to all this beyond all your imagination. It seems that every little single thing that I dont do perfectly pisses my mom off. I know its mean to say but she is the only person that I dont miss when I go away. She makes my life miserable every time she speaks to me. Everything I do I need to explain to her. Every decision I take has to be questionned by her, and she just happens to be a little slow on the button so everything that I have to explain to her takes like 3x the time that it should! GAH I'm going mad here. Oh and another thing, everytime someone tells her something about my skiing, my workout ethic, my trainning/racing diet... SHE TAKES IT FOR GRANTED and then she suddenly becomes an expert and "critiques" my way of doing things. Dont get me wrong my mom can be a very nice person. Just not to me.

/rant

Originally Posted by Sarah

Yeah, really. Is it so bad to have a belief? Even though we're young, that doesn't take our right to believe in something.

Exactly. I wish my mother would just understand that I don't like her ways... She doesn't let me be who I am.

There's my dad for you. He's totally against me getting into the arts. He wants me to be a surgeon or something. Either that, or get married and have a lot of kids while being a housewife.!

Same with me here. He's always complaining about how I "use too many erasers" and how I "spend too much time writing"... Don't know why I put quatation marks there... Still, I would just hope they support me, but they don't even do that.

Another problem I have is that I'm clumsy... My father is always making fun of my clumsyness... Whenever I drop something, which is quite often, he acts like it is the end of the world... (the reason why I'm mentioning this now is due to the fact that he just yelled at me for dropping a piece of plastic... >>)

They dislike so many things about me, like my height... the way I dress... I mean, they want me to be like putty in their hands, and I'm sorry, but I just don't roll that way.

The only real arguements my mom and I get into are about how I failed and should hand in my homework more. Other than that we get along great. We mostly joke around about things, or discuss how the weather is going to be. But otherwise we just dont talk.

I'm very close to my mother, and I get along with my family most of the time. My father has his issues, but it's not that bad.

I agree that everyone have their flaws, but pointing those out to you would be like telling you my name is William; not necessary.

I know how it feels when you don't get along with your parents, but truth be told, a lot of teenagers (or people over the age of 19) feel as if they have the right to talk down to their parents. Then they complain about their parents, when in fact they - whether they know it or not - provoked their parent(s).

I see this is in my 25-year old sister. Most of the time, she acts as if my mother owes her something, compensation for some sort of pain. I know what has transpired in our family, and I think she's being immature about it. Sometimes she could just burst out at my mother for no reason, which leads to my mother saying something like "What's with you?" which makes my sister act even more like a victim.

It's silly, this attitude that a lot of people have towards their parents. Not always, but most of the time it seems like they can dish it out to their parents, but can't stand it when their parents dish out some at them. I understand that some parents are just silly, but then again, they've probably been through so much. Then again, they could just be silly.

You can never know, really. You'd be surprised at how some parents keep secrets.

I get on ok with my parents, but we dont have much in common, and they get me down when all that they say to me is what I should be doing. Ive been getting angry recently because all they can seem to say is how I should improve. We dont have conversation anyomore. Its just them telling me how to improve myself. That is what gets me down. When it comes down to it, they dont know who i really am, or much about me.

Ive just realised, that sounds really harsh.

My Mom is never satisfied with me making my own choices. Like when I wanted to quit football. Football is a retarded game in which dummy after dummy just runs into the last one, and then acts like it's the greatest thing ever. But to be able to quit, I had to battle my mom for two weeks. She doesn't even trust my best friend because he wears a fedora!

Well, my mom is hot-tempered, energetic and unfortunately somewhat narcist. She has raised me well, even though she's the type whose opinions are the only ones correct. This of course, is a frequent source of arguments.

She doesn't like admitting she's wrong. If she has to, she'd start sulking and getting mad. This usually concerns just some everyday chores and some religional issues, but our ideologies have never really badly crashed, since she accepts all kind of people.

Originally Posted by Cio

They criticize everything I do, everything I say. They tell me that I should put more effort in math, that I should become a doctor and make them proud. I've told them time, and time again... I just don't want to.

This is though the thing I'm so happy my mom never does. I've listened too many people telling how their parents order them around, decide their education, hobbies and future. I've heard of too many cases where mother can't accept her daughters/sons hobbies, sexuality or futureplans. It sickens me. Parents can protect their children to the some point, but the kids have their opinions, their rights and their private life. So please, not going there.

Parents can't force their children to same beliefs as they are in, and instead of rejecting them because they go against their beliefs, the should stay by their side. Really. No newsflash, but some people just aren't capable of that. I hate to hear that some parents have completely denied their daughters or sons because of their being homosexual. Pfft. Children develop their own ideology and as long it's fine with the law, why should parents start fussing about it? It's not illegal to be fat, homosexual or atheist.

If their children go for illegal stuff like drugs or stealing, that's where they can put their word.

I appreciate my mom and dad who've experienced different issues in life, my father has even been to prison for selling marijuana and cocaine. They accept many things and are very openminded, and I'm glad about that. My father is atheist and even if my mom is religious (though she doesn't believe in God, but to some god or some divinity) she doesn't force it on anyone. She does get annoyed though when I said I don't believe in soul or spirits and said there'll be a day I will, but that's her problem. My parents are divorced, btw, and both are now married with different persons.

My mom puts me only little down, when she's displeased with my absentmindness and such, because like I said, she's very tempered. She often yells and shouts and sometimes calls me a slacker. I get mad, when she says I'll never be any decent person if I can't take care of my house. Well sheesh, I'm not going to buy such a mad big house as this and get four kids. Of course I don't say that to her, she'd get really mad and just point out me to stop being nosy. She says sometimes pretty much stuff she doesn't mean, or sometimes just says things that go little wrong and we're misunderstood.

Originally Posted by Gracie

My Mom is the greatest. Sometimes she'll explode in anger...but rarely. And when she does, an apology comes an hour later. She's always been so suportive of me, and tells me I'm wrong when I put myself down. The great part is, I know she's not just saying it; she means it. It does help that she's a psychiatrist, though. She does her best, raises my sister and I as well as she can [which is pretty well. she's well paid.] I can talk to her about everything, and she gives me the necessary freedoms, and trusts me.

My Dad, on the other hand...well, we're getting closer. But before my parents got divorced, he sat on his butt on the computer doing nothing. We've got a much better relationship now but I still can't talk to him about all that personal stuff.

Gracie sounds like she's in the same boat that I am.

Friendly word of advice to all you young-uns. Sometimes it's better to suck it up and humor your family. I'm not saying to those who don't believe in God that they should pretend to--I'm saying that you ought to take an active interest in t