*GUY troubles..

I -really- have a crush on this guy (Chris). He seems perfect for me. We're great friends and all my friends say that it's so obvious that he likes me too.
The problem?
He is one of my best friend(Megan)s' boyfriend.
She doesn't know I like him. He doesn't know, either. Should I feel terrible? They don't have a great relationship anyway. Whenever I say anything about Megan to Chris, he either goes "Oh," changes the subject, or pretends he didn't hear me. Megan never talks about him. I've even heard from someone that they may have broken up. I'm really confused and not sure what to do. If I tell Chris that I like him and he likes me back, Megan will hate me for a while. If I tell Chris and he DOESN'T like me back, our friendship will turn awkward and eventually be ruined, AND Megan will hate me for a while.

..help?

This is probably bad advice but you should wait a while untill Megan and Chris are 100% broken up. then wait a little longer to give Chris some time to recover and then ask him.

How close are you to Megan? With my friends, I wouldn't hesitate to ask directly if they were still with someone... I'd disguise it under friendly curiosity or something. It's perfectly normal for us to inquire about things like that

Considering you're female, and you're an entirely different person and whatnot, and you may not be as close to Megan as I am to my two friends, this advice may not be quite good

Go over to him and ask if him and Megan are still going out. If he changes the subject or ignores you ask later. If he says quit bothering me stop asking say you were just curious. If he say yes that say "hmm I thought so" then change the subject. If he say no then say "oh ok" then do something else. The next day or so ask him out or ask if he wants to do something and build your friendship from there until you are together. He will most likely say yes I know I probably would.

Be careful though my advice might screw your life up forever and I am not good at giving advice.

Ok. Are you good friends with megan? Do you want to stay good friends with megan? While guys might hit each other and the next day be all buddy buddy, girls tend to hold grudges, so you probably know better than I that you dont want to double cross your friend.

Next, if they have broken up, then tell her that you are interested in him, I'd say (but I'm just a naive guy, who thinks like a guy). Then proceed to hook up with him. If there is anly perceived underhandedness, you could seriously taint your friendship.

So, you also have to prioritize, and be practical. Is it worth alienating a life-long friend for a guy that you might not be with for a long time (I know, I know, but relationships can be so volatile, you never know). So, first off, keep megan in the know. And don't try to snatch him before she breaks up. Bad idea. And dont try plotting with him, cause if you have a nasty breakup he might "accidently" let the skeleton out of the closet (but more importantly it is wrong!).

Which matter more to you, a friend that could be friends with you forever, or a boyfriend that could dump you in a week? If you are Megans friend, a real friend, you wont go after her boyfriend. Your asking for broken hearts and friendships.

First off, see how much Chris enjoy's to be with Megan. If he likes Megan ALOT, I would let them go their ways and see if they get broken up. If I were you I wouldn't hope that they get broken up but if they do then would be your chance to strike.

O.K say they broke up cause Megan thought he stood her up or something (I'm just using that as an example) and no Chris is all sad and moping. I would first comfort him and then give him time, after a while you could ask him if you wanna be "Boyfriend, Girlfriend"

Note: Thats what my best advice would be, If you were like me I wold just let them be Boyfriend and Girl friend, I don't want to interfere with anyones relationship. Even if I really like that person and myfriend was going out with her I would support my friend and not try to brake them up for myself.

Well.. it's like the quote I heard,
friends are forever, boyfriends come and go.

Do you really want to risk losing a friend?
Or have, what my friends and I call, sloppy seconds?
But hey, if you feel that it is worth it, go for it...
I would't though... I'd just find someone else, or put my feelings on hold/

Ahh young love. Tis the life a blooming.

Punkispritemabob...sometimes the answer is not simple. I mean it may just be that you may want to just find something else or someone else.

If megan broke up with Chris there had to be that one straw that broke the camels back. That one thing that just caused their relationship to die completly. You will want to know all of the facts before you start the flirting.

What if she broke up with him because he "has not been giving her enough attention"...like has someone else on his mind. Then all of a sudden best friend comes along holding his shouldier. Megan will think one thing. Pardon mon français mais "what a slut!" "PunkySprite over there just stole my boyfriend!" She could not only not trust you but cause others to not trust you. "She isn't loyal to us! If she is willing to abandon megan and steal her bf like that than what could she do to me?"

Or what if he really was cheating on her. Wouldn't that be embarrasing...he has a secret love going on and you come a long and try to comfort the guy and then miss bobble head comes along and snatches him up to go to the mall. Yea that would be dangerous.

Or what if they are still actually going out. And Megan walks in on you. See above concerning what she would say about you.




See not complicated. that is why you need the facts.

The easiest answer is to tell Megan that you like him. Don't imply that you want to be with him though. If she gets mad that you like him, she's a b*tch, and you don't need her.

Yeah, I'm havign trouble with a 'Chris' too.

But I had a similar problem, I liked this guy my friend was going out with. What did I do? Nothing, I sat back and watched them break up. Now he's goign out with someone else, and my friend is heartbroken. Anyway, i nthe time they broke up I stoped liking him, and I really liked him. So, you might wake up one day and stop liking Chris. Best of Luck to ya

Wait a while until they completely broke up...then...wait for the rebound...and POUNCE ON YOUR PREY!!!.....sorry....a little carried away....umm...but yeah...do what I said...only don't eat him.

This is what I think. :: clears her throat ::
1. Make sure they are 100 % broken up.

2. You sure she is your BESt friend? Well tell her that you like him BUT not willing to go with him (and tell her this) because you don't want to tred on her toes.

3. Just watch out. That guy my be abit friendly to lassies. I know hundreds of guys you are REALLy nice anf flirty but are not completly interested.. (sorry I made you feel special there lol)

Basically. Enjoy yourself but theer are unwriten rules. Like loyal to a friend but also your heart too. If she is your best friend then she should understand that you fancy him.

I know friends who fancied my boy (did make me abit jealous) but saying so thats when I was ACTUALLy going out and they told me ¬_¬

GanonsD

Well, here's the part where everything comes crashing down:

I was talking to Chris online and he ended up telling me that he is going to break up with Megan soon. Why?
Because he is in love with a girl from another school. He actually used the words 'fell in love'.
Well, now I have to go drown myself in tears and chocolate ice cream.

Yeah, what GD said basicly, but with one addition:

Find out WHY they broke up. Talk to Megan a bit, it she has just broken up, she's gonna need some support, it won't help that her freind is with her ex. Besides, they might have broken up for a reason, who knows?

If all else fails, just remember guys come and go, but a best friend can be for life.

EDIT: And my post becomes totally useless because you got yours in before me.

But there you go, he's an ass and not worth risking your freindship over.

If you need some-one to talk to, you can always PM me, 'kay?

Sorry to hear that.. But this is abit viscous.. Don't think about yourself. Think of your friend more. She needs you at a time like this. Call her and hang out with her.. friends needs friends.

GanonsD

I feel bad for you..please do not drown...but eat all the chocolate ice-cream you want ......I sudgest you find someone else to "fall in love with" and I would sudgest you pick your friend more carefully...

you cant really pick a person to "fall in love with". its just one of those things that jst happens. i doubt that its love, prolly just a crush, but still, you cant pick who it happens to be....