Something about Drinking

Ok I have a slight problem. Cause of stuff that happened in the past, I'm pretty much shy and silent when I'm around people. I don't say things I'd like to say, don't make jokes or remarks that I'd normally make, and just shut my mouth for a long time, untill I feel comfortable enough to like, get rid of it.

Now I noticed that when I'm drunk, I don't get overly happy, or really sad or emotional, I just become what I'd like to be ^^' I talk alot more, I say whatever I want, make jokes, am just a great person to talk to! I love it, but, as might be suggested, I drink more to be that way..

What can I do to change this? I don't want to become some alcoholic, but I'm really liking the way I get when I'm drunk! I know it isn't good, lol.

Umm, here's a little hint I learned from the number one drunk: my dad. When you're drunk, you THINK you're being incredibly interesting, funny and smart, when in actual fact, it's just the opposite: you're loud, embaressing and boring. A little alcohol will help you to loosen up, but a lot will only inhibit your personality and your ability to express yourself. Even if people are laughing, trust me, they're laughing AT you.

You may want to ask your friends what they think of your drunk behaviour before you make up your mind that being drunk makes you a more fun person. I think chances are they like you better sober.

You'll have to practice being what you want to be when you're not drunk. Obviously you don't want to get to the stage where you need to be drunk in order to be who you want to be. So you'll have to practice being like how you want to be when you're sober. Eventually, you should be able to not rely on alcohol in order to just be yourself. And if this happens, you want need to get drunk anymore, not that you need to get drunk now. Just as a side note, I've never seen the point of getting drunk.

So, practice makes perfect.

On the other hand, why try to be this other person you are when you're drunk? Do you really want to be someone other than yourself?

EDIT: What Thorn said

You know what, I say if you like having a little buzz to loosen up, go ahead and get it. I know, it's nice to have a personable manner around lots of people. One thing you have to remember is moderation. But in the end, you need to realize that the people you meet and befriend while somewhat intoxicated will have to learn to like you for what you are when you aren't drunk. As a social lubricant, alcohol works, but at the same time, it will never replace who you really are.

I think you chould challenge your comfort zone, I had a similar problem but I never got rolling drunk. Hang around your friends, don't think they are going to go out of their way to put you down. Alcohol only loosens you up but makes u dumber, you will find it hard at first but I think you can do it. Hey, if I can do it then you can do it!

Nicely said, Buddy Christ.

Personally, I don't think there's anything wrong with alcohol. If you wanna drink, I have no problem there. But I don't think it's a good idea to become reliant on the substance in order to have fun/become more extroverted. You're not really in control of your actions when you're under the influence of alcohol, as much as you'd like to believe. And as Thorn said, you may think that you're the life of the party, but a lot of the time, people are laughing at you, not with you. I've seen it myself. Why, just a few weeks ago, I went to a friends bday party. This chick got soooo drunk and started yelling and dancing and toasting to anything and everything. Everyone was laughing at her, not with her, but she carried because she thought that everyone was loving her entertainment. Well, yeah, but in the way she thought. So Pegasus, go easy on the alcohol. Moderation is the word, buddy. Remember that alcohol is a form of escapism that is temporary, and when you're sober, reality is still gonna come a-knockin'. Good luck.

The thing with alcohol is that it generally enhances whatever mood you're in when you start drinking. If you're feeling happy, then great, because alcohol will enhance your happy mood - but at the same you're probably more likely to get over-the-top silly, therefore embarrassing yourself. If you're not feeling happy, it probably isn't the best idea to drink. You'll make yourself feel more depressed, but you're under the illusion that drinking makes you happy. After a while, you realise that you're not happy, and so you drink more... only it really doesn't work.

Man, I should listen to my own advice...

And Pegasus_Wing, maybe you think you're different when you've been drinking, but it's actually just an emphasis of the real you. Maybe you're really not that different to when you're drunk, and the alcohol just brings out your confidence a little more. Don't get too dependent on this - don't think that you have to be drinking for people to like you and have interesting conversations with you. Because if this is what happens (or what you think happens) when you've been drinking, you obviously have it in you to be happy and a great conversationalist without the alcohol.

Woah! Thanks for all the replies! ^^ This forum really is the best one out there.. Ill try and reply to as much posts as I can:

Umm, here's a little hint I learned from the number one drunk: my dad. When you're drunk, you THINK you're being incredibly interesting, funny and smart, when in actual fact, it's just the opposite: you're loud, embaressing and boring. A little alcohol will help you to loosen up, but a lot will only inhibit your personality and your ability to express yourself. Even if people are laughing, trust me, they're laughing AT you.

Well, Luckily I've never really gotten to the point where I wanted all the attention, or where I was like, thinking I was so funny and interesting. I just get more open, Like you say, I stick with a little alcohol, just to loosen up, no further ^^

As a social lubricant, alcohol works, but at the same time, it will never replace who you really are.

True, well, I think it loosens me up, making me what I could be if I wasn't shy most of the time..

Moderation is the word, buddy. Remember that alcohol is a form of escapism that is temporary, and when you're sober, reality is still gonna come a-knockin'. Good luck.

^^ Ah, don't get me wrong, reality for me is not too bad at all, I'm pretty happy with my life! And I only drink when I am already happy, So I don't run the risk of getting depressed, Like MoonPhoenix said, Alcohol enhances your current mood.

And Pegasus_Wing, maybe you think you're different when you've been drinking, but it's actually just an emphasis of the real you. Maybe you're really not that different to when you're drunk, and the alcohol just brings out your confidence a little more. Don't get too dependent on this - don't think that you have to be drinking for people to like you and have interesting conversations with you. Because if this is what happens (or what you think happens) when you've been drinking, you obviously have it in you to be happy and a great conversationalist without the alcohol.

^^ Well said! Thanks! I know that when I'm drunk *and mind you, I never go too far when it comes to drinking*, I am an emphasis of the real me, it makes me more open and confident.. I'm sure I have it in me to be that way without alcohol, but it's taking a hell of a lot of time somehow. The thing is that it's almost addicting, the way I am "loosened up" when I'm drunk, and I don't know if that's a good thing

Originally Posted by Pegasus_Wing

Ok I have a slight problem. Cause of stuff that happened in the past, I'm pretty much shy and silent when I'm around people. I don't say things I'd like to say, don't make jokes or remarks that I'd normally make, and just shut my mouth for a long time, untill I feel comfortable enough to like, get rid of it.

Now I noticed that when I'm drunk, I don't get overly happy, or really sad or emotional, I just become what I'd like to be ^^' I talk alot more, I say whatever I want, make jokes, am just a great person to talk to! I love it, but, as might be suggested, I drink more to be that way..

What can I do to change this? I don't want to become some alcoholic, but I'm really liking the way I get when I'm drunk! I know it isn't good, lol.

LOL are you an amateur man??? not that is a bad thing, I mean we all started some time ago, but anyways, congratulations man you have just discovered one of the best things about drinking, it makes you more socially active you know its like you don't give a crap anymore and you just spit out everything its awesome dude I love it and it gets better when you do it with chicks man, when they start giggling you knows its time for dinner LMAO!!!!!! ITS AWESOME!!!!

Yeah, unless its one of my friends, im really shy around others. I even feel shy talking to you guys right now :embrsd:
I just did a report about drinking at school, and oh my gosh, you hear what that stuff can do to you.
dont become an alcoholic, its not the only way to make friends.

Originally Posted by Revolver_Ocelot

LOL are you an amateur man??? not that is a bad thing, I mean we all started some time ago, but anyways, congratulations man you have just discovered one of the best things about drinking, it makes you more socially active you know its like you don't give a crap anymore and you just spit out everything its awesome dude I love it and it gets better when you do it with chicks man, when they start giggling you knows its time for dinner LMAO!!!!!! ITS AWESOME!!!!

lol that cracked me up ^^'.. yea, I discovered it like, a few years ago, but only recently ive been drinking more to be that way more often. XD and what you said about chicks, totally true.

Yeah, unless its one of my friends, im really shy around others. I even feel shy talking to you guys right now

Well, it's the same for me, I have problems talking alot around people I barely know, I mean when I started working, I hardly talked to my collegues, took me like almost 2 months to feel comfortable around them and like, be myself, you know? Don't have any problems talking on msn/forums though *shrugs*

Dude, I will try to help you out, seeing as how I am prolly one of the older members here, and more experienced (cant say I am, but Im not what you would expect from a computer literate person).

You will hit a point where you have to experiment. Dont hold back, do it while you are young. I've known several people that vowed never to drink and do drugs. Ofcoarse, they never had money or ways to get any of it. Now that they do, and are of age, it has gotten more serious than it would have been while they were younger.

I've gone through the drug/drinking stage, and Im glad I did it. I learned from it, I dont do drugs anymore. Everyone will have different experiences with it, all I can really say now, is just find out for yourself. Dont stop because people here tell you to, dont stop because your guidance counselor says its bad and leads to worse things.

What will matter is in 10 years, or however many years when you are off on your own. Your friends wont matter then (Unless they are good, true friends), the girl down the street wont matter, nothing but life will matter and it will hit you very hard someday.

Why would you ever start to do bad drugs? Now that I can talk to people who have actualy done it, I can get an answer. So why did you start?
I dont see why you would think it releves stress...it does the opposite.

Its just the lifestyle I got into at the time, my friends influence, and other related things. It gave me something to do at the time, but the greater thing to come from it was the experience. It was fun, I cant deny it, but at times it was horrible.

I'am in same boat of pegasus wing and can relate to what he's saying, and yes alcohol does help, I've gotten to know new people through drinking and drugs(occasional use) and most of which are just ordinary friendly people whom I've become good pals with which wouldn't probably have happened if I was the quiet sober guy all the time, also after a while I find myself becomming more and more comfortable with new people when sober allthough I wouldnt say its all due to drink and drugs, new job and money kind of helps and better standard of living etc.

I enjoy a drink most of the time, I can see where you're coming from on the basis of becoming confident with a drink in you. To be honest, it's not exactly a bad thing, but I would advise on not becoming reliant on it.

The buzz you get is helping you socialise, which is good on the weekend but as you mentioned, you have trouble opening up to people even at work. You should perhaps consider this a sign to work on your social skills, without the help of alcohol.

~ Adhamh.