have you ever felt like you want to kill yourself???

I rarley have those thoughts. But when I do it's cause I wonder why I saty on earth and suffer when I can die and go to heaven.

I have thought about that before, never tried it, but I thought about it...but I'm not planning on dying anytime soon. Too much to do, too many plans I've made, too many dreams I've had. And since no one can say for sure what happens after you die, I think I'll just live life.

My friend that is probaly the smartest thing to do.

I don't know, even though I'm 11 I have felt like I would want to swallow a pill and see what would happen. I'm also curious to know what death fells like. Hum, I just realized, we're too "us", we hate, self-idolized, kill for no deserved meat, steal, lie, and self-hate. I sometimes wish I wasn't homo sapein. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I'm extremly dark if you get to know me in the mind level.

ive sometimes wondered what would happen if i die but thats about it

and why kill yourself. instead just beat the **** out of your problems (especially if the problems are a**holes)

and if that doenst work or a psychatrist go smoke a joint. Im really not kidding. some of my friends that have had some serious problems just smoke and occasional joint and there perfectly normal.

Ahhh, this thread brings back some painful memories. Yes I did commit suicide once, obviously it failed, it is a seriously painful experience. It hurts even more once you find yourself in hospital, I was in pain for hours as they pumped my stomache. I now know that doing yourself in is not the answer, but people do it because they think there is no choice; either they live with pain or die and be at peace.

I thought the same way, after my incident I came here and discovered who I was...a couple of times I had some dark thoughts but lately I have been much better. vinnie0107, you have to talk to someone...that doesnt mean a psychiatrist or counsellor, I mean anyone, a friend, family or even a total stranger. Get your feelings out in the open, keeping them inside will only sour you on the inside.

I dont know what else to say but good luck, if you need to talk to someone then you can PM me...I not only am a fellow ZUer but am also a counsellor in training, your post really didnt surprise me.

Originally Posted by X

I find your calculations to be very wrong 8bit. The people who mostly contemplate suicide are perfectionists. They are always under pressure and they just want to escape that. And I know 98% of the world are not perfectionists.

Um.... No. That's actually wrong. Most of the suicidal people are NOT perfectionists. They just have nasty childhoods, bad family relationships, abused, and so on. There are hundreds of factors out there that can cause a person to go suicidal. Also, some are born to have depression symptoms due to bi-polar disorders and other mental disorders.

Orean, I agree with you. I mean, I dont do ****, and I tried suicide.

BTW, X. It IS a normal part of life. Everyday we are faced with presures, good and bad. Often, we are overwhelmed. At this point you may resort to thinking about various nonlogical ways to relive the stress. A shooting, murder, insanity, attention, sex, drugs, rape, or suicide. Of these suicide is the most considered, exceptionally among teens and elderly.

Originally Posted by Dark Oreon

When you are depressed, my advice is go outside for a long walk in the woods (if there are any) by yourself. Don't think about anything. Just think about how peaceful it is by yourself. Do some sports, PLAY! Don't hole up in your room for a month (like me).

Thats a good idea. We dont have any woods where I live, but when ever I get really depressed I walk out into the open lot by our house. Theres a HUGE man-made dirt mound over there. I just climb it and throw rocks. Then I'll just lay there. looking up into the sky. breathing in the FRESH air. I always wonder, "why is the sky blue?" I mean I know WHY. Sunlight refracting off of various chemicals such as oxygen and carbon dioxide in the air, but..... why blue. Such a strange color. A color that I wouldnt think to come so easily in nature, yet is so soothing. It makes me think; either this proves that their is some abstract form of a "creator", or I evolved at the right time and in the right place. Either way, I'm extreamly lucky to be alive. By then the thought of illogical relief will have fadded and I would commence throwing stones to relive the little bit of access tention I still have left. Then I would proceed to walk home and take a long nap.

When I cant get out I listen to a song called "come out fighting" by The Vandals. That can really help to.

It also helps to know that someone cares, and I belive I speak for me and the rest of ZU when I say that we all care and it wouldnt be the same with out you.

For those who are striving with their lives and want to let go, I would just like to quote Winston Churchill, who suffered from depressions throughour his life:

"If you're walking through hell... keep walking!"

WHATS WRONG! LIFE IT SWEET BABY!!! suicide is sooo STUPID! if you have problems get help or change your life! you can do it!!

I'm not going to jump on here and spout of any advice because what works for one person in one situation could be detrimental to another person in another situation. I have never been suicidal, never tried to kill myself or come close to it. I have my niche.

What is a niche? You may ask, well, it is something that I hold very dear to me something that is always been their when I needed it, and it has taken me through all of my hard times. When my Uncle Gary passed away at 45 in a drunk driving accident, when my mother was diagnosed with diabetes, when Bailey, my dog, was diagnosed with cancer, my first year of college when I was the only person out of all of my friends that didn't go away to school and for the first time in 5 years I was alone again. All of these times were points in my life where I went through stages of depression in the last 9 years of my life, some worse than others. The positive evect of these experiences were they helped me to find my niche and cultivate it to use it to my advantage. Everyone has their own niche, and it requires time and effort to find and cultivate it. My niche is running.

I started running competitively at eleven. I was a fairly good runner, could keep pace with kids up to 3 years older than me, however at that time running wasn't my niche, in fact I didn't have one. That was literally half my lifetime ago. My niche isn't perfect by anymeans, but its powerfull enough now that it hasn't failed me. It is something that I love to do, and doing brings joy to my life, helping it become more gratifying.

If you've read this far, your probably curious why in the hell running makes me feel better. All my life I have been asked why do you run? People hate running its hard work nobody could consider it fun. Well, I think that if I can relate to you how my niche works for me. You might be able to use that knowledge to find/cultivate your own niche.

Running is something I do all the time, 4-5 times a week at least. I'm not saying I need it that often, I just do literally love to run. Your niche should be something you can be happy doing no matter what, and it should generally be something simple that you can always succeed at which just helps you feel better. Now, when I need my niche, I'm feeling down and depressed, and I have a lot of thoughts and emotions running through my head. Most times you can't even think straight because of the everything that is going on. Everything that is taking place in my head is all an effect of concious thought. So I leave for a run. Immediately my thought process begins to change. All that training that I have been through since I was eleven starts coming in.

Head up, eyes forward.

Back straight.

Arms moving front to back, not across the front of my body.

Knees up.

Extend the stride.

Hit with the heal, roll to the toe.

Breathing steady and deep.

In through the nose, out through the mouth.

I continue doing these checks mentally as I run. They start of small and week compared to what has been taking place in my head, but if I find myself wandering, I force myself to go back to the mental training, repeating it running those checks. Soon they begin to dominate my thoughts. Take control, all of a sudden all I can think about is my running form. Right then is when I seek passage into a calm mental state similar to meditation. The repition controls the though of my conciousness clearing my head of all negative thoughts. The longer I remain in that state, the better I feel when I'm finished running. Afterwards I feel more empowered to deal with the things that are weighing on me, and I know that I am facing them with a clear mind.

Now I know not many of you know me, I've only been here for a few months, and I don't post a whole lot. So why all of a sudden all this. Well you managed to strike a chord. Last year a friend of mine who I met oddly enough on the cross country team in high school committed suicide. I had known him for 3 years, and I had known his older sister for almost 6. He was bipolar, which for those of you who don't know means somedays he would be just fine while others he was dealling with extream depression. He had been on medication for a number of years, since before I got to know him, and his condition was worsening. Towards the end of his life he never had less than one of his family members by his side to keep watch over him. One day he went for a run and his mother went with him, however she was nowhere near as athletic as him and he took off leaving her behind and ran onto an eight lane highway into oncoming traffic. His name was Chad he was a good kid, honer roll student, truly one of the most naturally gifted runners I have ever had the oppertunity of running with, and was naturally kind to everyone he met.

The point here is death causes pain and effects everyone around you, and mostly the people who care about you. A premature passing is probably life's greatest tragedy. There is so much in this world to live for and to see and to do, it would really be a shame to miss it.

Well, I said in the beggining of this post that i wasn't going to spout off any advice, I guess that makes me a liar. I hope that you can take this to heart, and try to find your niche and cultivate it and give the world the best gift it can recieve from you, your own participation in it, and the world will be a better place.

I am often quite sad. The thing is, I have never really felt connected in any schools. I am always the outcast everybody hates. I am quite eccentric, so that really didn't help. I have my own idea of clothes. I buy whatever I like, and sometimes I make my own clothes. People really hate me for that, so they just wrinkle their noses and tell me to piss off. When I arrived at my new school, since it was a performing arts school, I thought I would have lots of kindred sprits. Sadly, my school is full of Britney Spears wannabes, and pampered little prima donnas. There was a phase when I could defend myself. If anyone said anything to me, I would open my mouth and fire a string of homemade insults at them, and they did not take me very lightly. But I can't do that now, I developed a stutter, so now my insults get stuck in my throat. I just never got along with people my own age, only adults and young children. With young children, I can develop a big brother type relationship, and with adults I can discuss politics and art. But people my age always sneer and laugh at me. I just sometimes I think I was born into a generation of shallow, materalistic pricks. I did try to kill myself once, and I did use to cut myself. But now I am angry. I refuse to be the ego-boost for some empty headed, nike wearing clones. They can quite frankly, go **** themselves. I am not going to leave this world, I want to be remebered in centuries to come. I want to be a person the whole world falls in love with. I want to be an artist or a writer. Now I have no time for death, I have the whole world to play in.

Originally Posted by vinnie0107

have you ever felt like you want to kill yourself or just run away from the fears and pain of reality,i have several time and tried to twice,now i suffer from an opposite of me(split personality)he calls himself loque,he thrives off my pain and misery,when i cant control my anger,he takes over and when he takes over im helpless,all i can do is watch him take over me until i gain control somehow.
the rage i get is from school,injury on my foot,family and others i havent got to terms with but annoy me anyway.
does anybody feel this way???

I have never felt suicidal. I've felt like I'm worthless, like everything is my fault and like I don't deserve to live. My parents always have been more proud of me than they have of my brother, so whenever I mess up I feel like a total failure. It seems like I have to be perfect.

That little voice you hear, he's not real don't listen to him. He can't control you, don't let him.

Well, at some point in the week I think about how I have no place in the world except to be a Zelda obsessive lesbian

i can relate to that....my girlfriend thinks im way too obssesed with zelda...it makes me happy...when i get angery... but even i know that im too obssesed...but i try to hang on just a bit longer..for her and to the fact that ill be free soon...two years...im only 16..... :mad:

I've nearly hung myself before by acident. I was siting on these railings and I fell backwards. The strap on my bag got caught and I was hanging by my neck! Luckily my friends were there to help me.

Well..I was once really upset and i drank paint, but that was cuz something happened that day
As for wanting to kill myself...I wouldn't really do something like that, people just say they want to when emotiomns get the better of them and they see no other option...

I think only the severely depressed and enraged people would attempt to kill themselve. Most people thought about it, but didn't want to actually die.

I've never thought about it. I consider myself lucky. I have enough faith to know what's best for me. It saddens me though to see severly depressed people consider and sometimes even go a step further.

have never thought of killing myself...I love life. Life can get hard at times but you have to look at the good. Life is meant to be enjoyed not to be hated. Killing yourself causes more pain and suffering to those who love and care for you.

Guess what? I'm christian too, and I can safely say life sucks. Life esspecially sucks when you have something inside your head telling you to do sick things, and another telling you what's right, and how unfair it is to be so easy to do what is wrong. I hate it. Also, people around you dying over the years that you thought would always be there, to talk to you. leaving classes at school that you actually enjoy, to go to a lackluster class the next year, to have people make fun of you because how much you weigh, or because you are a little absent-minded at times? Or, to have your father criticize everything about you every time you see him over the weekend? Or, to not make the A in algebra simply because you really struggle with it, and have your mother nag about it, everytime something school-wise comes up? and while all this is going on, people ruthlessly kill each other in the streets over money, while mothers like the one I saw on T.V. drowns her kids? I think not, Chozen. I can't wait to get off of this hell-hole, but I won't get off by suicide. My only solace is praying, escaping this world through video games, pop culture, television, and music.

Life sucks, and then you die.

I'm not afraid to die but I won't go killing myself just because people were giving me a bad time. There is always a brightside even when your life sucks (I could use my mother as an example but it's too personal). My mother did go through a lot of crap and she is happy with her life today.

The only time I would kill myself is if I had to sacrifice my life for someone I wanted to protect. I've thought about killing myself many times but thought occured to me becuase I was curious. And by curious I mean curious of what I would see of the afterlife if I died. Yeah you guys might think of it as sick.

Anyway, I plan to live on my life until something or someone kills me, I guarantee myself that my life won't be ended by my hands.

yeah ive been suicidal for a long time but then i got over it, my life has got better and im able to look after myself. i gave up hope and everything turned around. im happy again after so many years and you know what i could never have experienced these happiness if iwas dead and must such brill people like steph and sam.