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Old 02-04-2005, 10:54 PM
Brotagonist Brotagonist is a male United States Brotagonist is offline
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Love or Lust?

Okay, there is this girl I think I like at my school. Though, I'm not sure if it is truly a crush. Lately, I've been having these spontaneous crushes on girls from 2 days to 6 months(hormones?). And if I ask her out, and this is just another spontaneous crush, I'll be breaking an awesome girl's heart. But if I don't ask her out, I could be missing out on a relationship with an awesome person. I've been thinking of asking her to hang out as friends and letting it possibly grow. But it feels weird hanging out with someone of the opposite gender who is going out with someone else. Someone else I'm sure she's truly in love with.

Another thing bothering me is the fact that a part of me thinks that I'll never be good enough for her. That I'll always be a horrible, short-tempered, little jerk. Anyone got anything to say about my situation that's intelligent.
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Old 02-04-2005, 11:01 PM
Constantine Constantine is offline
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Re: Love or Lust?

Well, I have seen way too many love threads in my forum life. And all I can say is toughen up and do what you feel is right.
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Old 02-04-2005, 11:08 PM
Brotagonist Brotagonist is a male United States Brotagonist is offline
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Re: Love or Lust?

I think what I feel is right is to just hang out with her at first and see where it leads. I'm still open to suggestions.
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Old 02-04-2005, 11:39 PM
LegendofLex LegendofLex is a male LegendofLex is offline
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Re: Love or Lust?

As for your question, is it love, or lust? That depends. Do you prefer seeing her, or talking to her? Now I know everyone likes to see the person they're interested in (that and it helps with the talking part), but do you enjoy physically being near her, or do you have to talk to her to feel satisfied? If it's the latter, then it's love, and if it's the former, well, you know...
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Old 02-04-2005, 11:45 PM
Sage of Ice Sage of Ice is offline
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Re: Love or Lust?

How old are you? Just curious...
I'd wait it out. I once did something like that, and ended up embearassing myself because she rejected me, and I was ok within probably less than a day. I don't even remember her name all that much. (It was a little while ago, when I was a bit younger.)
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Old 02-05-2005, 12:48 AM
Epyon United_States Epyon is offline
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Re: Love or Lust?

Well, I'm guessing your not trying to get laid, as I am somewhat familiar with your religous beliefs.

So for you, I would recommend staying away from girls for the time being. Your just going to end up not liking her after a while, and then you will have wasted a ton of time and money. Not to mention the unneeded sexual temptation that having a girlfriend creates.
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Old 02-05-2005, 02:05 AM
Mess Mess is offline
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Re: Love or Lust?

Epyon has a point, however I'd suggest just going for it if ya like her. You have nothing to lose at your age. Don't worry about it. You can later say "It was a stupid crush I had back then" and easily make things fine, and btw, things won't be bad. Just grow balls... I said that inthe other thread too... but dude... just go for it.
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Old 02-05-2005, 08:17 AM
Big Bro Davidia Big Bro Davidia is a male Nauru Big Bro Davidia is offline
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Re: Love or Lust?

Dude, your own words speak for themselves: "But it feels weird hanging out with someone of the opposite gender who is going out with someone else. Someone else I'm sure she's truly in love with."

Why the HECK are you gonna try to even "make a move" on her with intentions of a relationship, then???! You thinking she SHOULD drop her love for you!??? Dude, mate..."fools rush in where angels fear to tread." It's just a crush. You don't know the girl. Move on before you hurt someone.
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Old 02-05-2005, 08:36 AM
Big Bro Davidia Big Bro Davidia is a male Nauru Big Bro Davidia is offline
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Re: Love or Lust?

But straightforward advice might be able to prevent a disaster. It is "normal" to die, and yet someone will rush in to save another person if they see they are about to jump off a cliff.
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Old 02-05-2005, 07:12 PM
LegendofLex LegendofLex is a male LegendofLex is offline
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Re: Love or Lust?

My advice to you (further): If you really 'love' this girl, but she really 'loves' somebody else, don't get in the way, but be as wonderful a friend to her as possible. You can't go wrong with THAT plan.
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Old 02-06-2005, 10:42 AM
Zantetsuken United_States Zantetsuken is offline
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Re: Love or Lust?

I had the same exact friggin problem with this girl I liked in school, turns out she wrote me a looooooooooooooooooong, very very affectionate note that said she loved me so hey, now I have someone to hold hands with and cherish. But hey, if you think you should ask her out, I would say friendship then slowly rise, though she'll probably figure out whats going on before you have a chance to ask her out. The way I see you ask her out now or later.
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Old 02-09-2005, 09:47 PM
Deity Link Deity Link is offline
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Re: Love or Lust?

Yo i say just keep hanging out with her and since valentines day is coming give her a friendly card but keep it classic and she should get a little "friendlier" with u homie
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Old 02-10-2005, 03:34 PM
SassyLink SassyLink is offline
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Re: Love or Lust?

hmm...well, the only advise I can give u is not to mistake love with attraction at first sight or as some ppl say "love at first sight"
sorry if it's not that much of help but.....
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Old 02-11-2005, 09:38 PM
The Kremling The Kremling is offline
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Re: Love or Lust?

What details about this girl are you most interested in? Example: Do you look at her eyes or her boobs? Asking yourself such questions might help you out.
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Old 02-26-2005, 09:43 PM
Cyan Yoyo Cyan Yoyo is offline
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Re: Love or Lust?

The Kremlin's right. Do you love her or her body?
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Old 02-26-2005, 10:02 PM
Alonely Alonely is a female United States Alonely is offline
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Re: Love or Lust?

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Kremling
What details about this girl are you most interested in? Example: Do you look at her eyes or her boobs? Asking yourself such questions might help you out.
Breasts*

I agree with BBD. Lay off of her in terms of a relationship, but you can still be a good friend.
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Old 02-27-2005, 11:54 AM
Exadis Exadis is offline
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Re: Love or Lust?

if she has a bf then u have to wait or ull piss him off and hill like attack u and u wouldnt want that.but like kremlin said do u like her body or her personality
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Old 02-27-2005, 12:26 PM
SW22 SW22 is offline
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Re: Love or Lust?

Before you even do anything with someone ask yourself, are you mature enough to maintain a relationship? A relationship that I might add is inevitably going to end? Ask yourself, Why are you doing this. Ask yourself if it really even matters what you do AT ALL. She's still gonna end up moving on, you're gonna move one, you're both going to forget about each other in the long run.

Just my negative look to even out all the positive.
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