Darned Murphy and his Stupid Laws.

Today was definitely a day to call the first day back to school - what a disaster. I am both aggravated and laughing my ass off right now from how the day went. Before you read my story, I would like you to read Murphy's Laws, if you don't already know them.


http://dmawww.epfl.ch/roso.mosaic/dm/murphy.html


My day today began with myself oversleeping. I missed my bus, so I stood out in the cold before walking in and asking my mother to drive me, who had already become angry for myself asking her for lunch money at 7:00am. She angrily drove me to school, but on the street, which at this point was only a straight line to school with one intersection remaining, she asked if I would walk to school. I've never walked to school before, and recent events told me I would screw it up.

She kicked me out of the car after getting increasingly aggravated, and knew that the rate the traffic to the school was going my walking rate would beat her to the school. I will now direct you to this law of Murphy's:


13. Every solution breeds new problems.


And it did. My mother’s solution to get me to school faster ended in two things:

1.) My mother actually made it to the school before I did. A few moments after leaving the car, the line sped up and she got ahead of me. Even when I ran.

2.) At the intersection, I almost was run over by a car. Apparently things got ironic when I ran back to the other side of the road, because one of my friends walked right passed me and walked across the road safely.

I was able to get to school safe. I was glad I was alive. Nothing could possibly go wrong at this point; I had all my homework done.


8. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.


That I did. I got to school, went into first period class, and I had forgotten to make up my lab report for biology. The rest of the periods actually went smoothly. The day was okay, for the first day back, though some of it was not so fun. The real trouble began at the end of the day.


3. Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.


I got home safely, on the bus this time, and rested. I lost one of the ear covers to my iPod before finding it under my backpack; however it got there, and went on the forums. Things couldn't go wrong now. They just couldn't.

At 6:58pm I remembered the horrible truth: I had A Capella Choir practice at 7:30pm. To make things worse, I also had not prepared a Secret Santa gift, comprised of a ten dollar gift card to Sam Goody and a bag of starbursts, which I had all Christmas break to prepare and reminded my parents several times to run to the supermarket and get the starbursts, as I already had the gift certificate.

I ran to my father and screamed at him saying I needed the starbursts, now. He said we would go right away, and everything seemed to go well from here.


Quantization Revision of Murphy's Laws:
Everything goes wrong all at once.


I had mislabeled the small envelope to the gift certificate. Since before the break I had glued a wrong label to the gift certificate, because the candy was actually meant to be given weeks ago, but I had forgotten, and I wasn't about to forget this time. I tore the gift certificate out of the envelope and rushed down to the kitchen to get a new small envelope. I shove the gift card in the envelope and licked it shut. It didn't stick. I applied pressure, but to no avail. I finally took some Scotch tape and closed the envelope.


2. Everything takes longer than you think.


I ran upstairs and got my pen, and began to write... To: Li- but if she saw the writing she would recognize my handwriting. I got on Microsoft Word as my father beeped his horn at me, telling me to hurry up. I was taking far too long.

I printed out a label, cut it out, and held it over the envelope. You could still see the writing. I took a blank layer of paper and shoved it under the label, and taped it to the front of the envelope, covering my handwriting. As I was about to run out the room, I saw the slip of paper where she had written her name: I had made a typo in her name.

I took whiteout, moaning how I would never make it in time to get to A Capella Choir practice, buy a bag of starbursts at the local supermarket and get this label done on time, and applied the white out on whatever I had done. I corrected the typo quickly on the paper and printed out a new copy, cut it out and pressed it on the wet whiteout, before taping it to the envelope. I ran down the steps, put my shoes on wrong, and ran into the car. My father pulled out and drove to the supermarket.


4. If there is a worse time for something to go wrong, it will happen then.


It just so happened that it was 7:19pm by the time I got into the car. What was worse, the outside weather was terrible: It was raining, it was windy, foggy, incredibly dark, and the roads were slippery. All was lost. Somehow, by 7:25, we made it to the supermarket. It took exactly thirty seconds to get a bag of starbursts, and get out of the supermarket. My father complained about getting into an accident because everyone in front of us during this entire ride had been either driving crooked or incredibly slow, and muttered something about Murphy's Laws.

I asked him what Murphy's Laws were as I hid the starbursts in my choir folder and told him to rush, and he said that it stated that if anything could go wrong, it would. I became interested, but there was no time for that. He kept talking, and I said something: "I have a strange feeling that practice is cancelled..." He got infuriated, but I reassured him as practice never is cancelled. Our choir teacher wouldn't do that, she never does. I finally made it to the school at 7:35pm.

Busses blocked our way. A whole team of some type of sport was in our way. Moving cars were in our way. I got out of the car, and my father asked me if he wanted me to have him wait, in case it was cancelled. I told him no. I ran inside the school, ignoring any sports people, and walked up to the auditorium door.


10. If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.


It was too good to be true. I had made it? No. No I hadn't. I pressed down the button and pulled on the door. It was locked. I walked to another entrance. Locked. The third entrance - locked. The fourth one was, too. No one was in the auditorium. Practice was cancelled.


7. Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.


I had no change for the payphone. The main office, which I had checked, was empty. All that was in the building was the janitor, wiping the floor around me, the sports people, and the most odd thing I had seen, a group of parents and their toddlers. I needed a phone to call my father. What would he say to me when I tell him that practice had been cancelled?

I turned to the janitor, when he asked why I was wandering around the school so much. I told him I needed a phone, because my practice for choir had been cancelled. He told me about the payphone, but I had no change. He told me I was in deep trouble, and walked off. Then I remembered - the sports team. They were kids my age, older even. One of them must have a cell phone.

Indeed they did. Things seemed to be going better for me now. I took the cell phone with great gratitude toward the kid, and called home. My father apparently was not home yet, and neither was my mother. My brother picked up, and I told him what he didn't believe at first: "I need to be picked up. Now. Is dad home?" He wondered why. I told him that practice was cancelled, I was in the rain, and I need to be picked up. "Just tell dad when he gets home to come and get me. Fast."

I walked back into the school building and watched as the families with their toddlers, one by one, minute after minute, walked out of the school. One mother was yelling at her son, telling him she would never bring him back. Others praised their child, for whatever had gone on in there. A few times I was sure I saw my father's car pull into the school parking lot, but it was not him.

A while later, after much humming and much boredom, a different car pulled in and beeped its horn at me. It was my mother, not my father. I ran to the car and hastily got in; telling her how much this sucks and how ironic it was that I and my father went through all this. She didn't seem to care, and asked if I wanted to hear a song by Alanis Morissette entitles Ironic. I said I didn't, but she turned it on anyway because it is her "favorite song." She said the lyrics clearly to me, and I tried to ignore her.

When I got home, my father said he hated me, but in a funny tone. He told me to do a Google search for Murphy's Laws, so I did. I came up with the web page at the top of this post.

I wanted to print it out to show him, so I copied it into a word document and pressed the print button quickly. Only after pressing the print button did I scroll down the page and see this:


51. Any attempt to print Murphy's laws will jam the printer.


Ironically, I had a printer jam/crash. My father walked up to see the printer messing up everything, and asked what I was doing. I told him I was printing Murphy's Laws for him to see, but Murphy's Laws had prevented me from printing it. I showed him the law above, and he laughed. We both laughed, in fact, as I insisted it wasn't funny. On the second print, it printed out fine. Though I ran out of paper and had to restock. My father and I shared tons of laughs, which weren't supposed to be funny, reading the Laws to each other. They were so unscientific, yet so true.


This was definitely a day that defined what a day back to school after vacation really is. Horrible, yet hilarious. At least it had a happy ending.

I wish I hadn't've commented to you in mIRC so much, so it'd all be fresh. As it is, I'm just gonna say that, if you're nervous about walking a straight line, you're going to pee yourself if you ever have to get road-tested for intoxication :0P'

Thanks for sharing this with us! I read it all and really enjoyed it a lot :0)

Murphy must have had a REAL bad life...

interesting, very interesting

my first day of school (this year, not semester) was bad, as well. I threw up (in the bathroom, thankfully) and had to go home. Not sure which was worse, though, but I know mine was pretty bad.

Murphy's law doesn't really apply, but it's stll a bad day at school.

(by the way, I looked at my post and though, "Why the heck am I writing a story in someone else's thread?" Apparently I get long-winded at night...)

Wow, seems you had a bad day Jason, but it turened out to be ok by the end of the day. ^^

I read Murphy's Law, and it was internesting. I can say I had similar days like you, but I can't remember them now.

Murphy's Laws are great fun to see in practice, so long as you're not the victim. I think the worst one that's happened to me is my tendency to walk into lamp posts. I was telling one of my friends about it, and what did I do? WHAM! Good thing I was walking fairly slow...