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Old 08-12-2012, 01:08 AM
Johnny Sokko Johnny Sokko is a male United States Johnny Sokko is offline
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Is the college experience a negative one?

I'm off to college in little more than a week, and in all honesty, I'm not looking forward to it. I have lots of anxiety about living on my own, keeping up with schoolwork, and finding my place in the college community. Something that really frightens me is how the "college experience" could change me as a person.

Since leaving for college, two of my best childhood friends have changed from being upbeat, energetic, and outgoing to sombre, jaded, and silent. I visited one of them a few days ago and we just exchanged a few meaningless sentences before he put on his headphones, laid down, and stared at the ceiling while I watched TV. We used to have so much to say to each other, but this time was just embarrassing and depressing. I really worry that "real world" life changed them for the worse, and that it could have an even greater effect on me. Do you think the college experience has a negative impact on your personality and emotional wellbeing?

I'd also like to know how drinking plays into this. Both of my friends became daily drinkers of alcohol in college. They drink the relieve stress, but I just don't believe it's good for them. Is alcohol something best avoided in college, or is it actually good for you in moderation?
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Old 08-12-2012, 01:43 AM
Sharia for the UK Sharia for the UK is a male United States Sharia for the UK is offline
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Re: Is the college experience a negative one?

Long story short my sister bankrupted my mother almost getting her Davis degree and now she's laughing about how she wants to be an artist instead of doing anything related to the degree she recieved.

I'm a High-school drop-out, technically, and I'm in the face of more financial success than she is.
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Old 08-12-2012, 01:56 AM
Hazel-rah Hazel-rah is offline
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Re: Is the college experience a negative one?

warning: contains college freshman bull♣♣♣♣

College is one of the best things to happen to me in a long time, honestly. It wasn't too much, but living away from home helped me feel like I was doing things for myself and not because I was "supposed" to do it, which made me feel more... grown-up, I suppose. It may sound daunting to suddenly be on your own, but once everything gets settled in for the year you might find that it's not as scary as it seems.

As far as alcohol and ♣♣♣♣, that's hard to answer because it really depends on the person. I'm not into the drinking and party scene, myself. It's definitely something that you don't have to partake in if you don't want, no big deal. You're going to see crazy party animals as well as the more reserved people who aren't into it plus all the people in-between. People find their own way of relieving stress, is all I can really say about that.

As for schoolwork, it also depends on the person, though what you're planning to study can also play a part. You might struggle or you might find it pretty easy to stay on top of things. Just don't be afraid to pay a professor or tutor a visit if you're stuck on something.

On the whole, it's a different experience for everyone. You're bound to experience college life differently from your friends, so it'll affect you differently, for better or worse. I love it, and others probably don't, but that's no cause for alarm. Relax a bit, give yourself a little time to carve out a niche for yourself. You might be surprised how you feel about it and what it does for you once you're there.
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Old 08-12-2012, 03:28 AM
Moriquendi Norway Moriquendi is offline
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Re: Is the college experience a negative one?

I can't say I've seen anyone end up exactly that way. I know of some who ended up a bit like it, but I believe that was from spending most of their time working and their whole weekends drinking themselves senseless. Lost all interest for hobbies and such.

As for university, I believe most people get more independent. Depending on the person, they might get positive or negative side effects. One difference is whether or not you make proper food.. that will affect your health and consentration. Eating frozen pizza and fast food for three years isn't without consequences. Some are also prone to stress, which is far from positive for the body or the mind. It's important to not delay everything to the last minute and find time to both relax and use your body.

You'll most likely get some services very cheep, like membership of a nearby gym or something of the like. Take a look around and see what possibilities you have (:

Alcohol. The first week is more or less an alcohol bath for most people who attend the social events. You will probably want to join the events since you get a chance to know many people in a new place. You don't have to drink yourself to a blackout even if you're with them, though. I won't go into detail about what I think about alcohol, but it isn't very positive.

I've had a great time at the university, myself. I like not having everything mandatory and it felt fantastic to be more independent. You also learn things about yourself along the way since you get into new situations. I think you'll be just fine. Have fun^^
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Old 08-12-2012, 11:49 AM
Scentless Apprentice Scentless Apprentice is offline
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Re: Is the college experience a negative one?

I'm not sure if you're going to be receiving financial aid or whatnot, but I wouldn't really call college a real world experience. At least it wasn't for me. Sure I was cooking my own food and paying bills and stuff, but life still revolved around school. Every choice made based on how it would effect my school work. Even my job had to take back seat to education. It's harder than high school, but in my opinion very few people are in the "real world" when in college. It's just a new type of independence.

And this is where your choices become important. For the first time in your school career no one will tell you what to do or if you even have to go to class. Most freshmen classes are large auditorium classes, at least in bigger universities. Not going would be your choice, a choice that many students make. But you have to make sure you understand the material for the test. It's all checks and balances. If you fail there are no second chances unless you want to repay for the class, and that's rather expensive. That's why many consider the experience to be stressful. But if you keep on top of your work and create a good schedule to follow, you'll find it's not always that tough and you'll have a lot of personal time to do whatever. Remember it's all about self control.

I had maybe 3 drinks in my college career. Two of which were on my girlfriend's birthday to celebrate her 21st. You'll find it's all in the social circle that you hang out in that determines how much you're going to drink. Believe it or not a lot of college age kids don't drink at all. If you don't want to you don't have to. Remember, it's a different kind of life now. You do get to make your own choices.

As for your mate? You could have just caught him on a bad day. There were days when I was a zombie and literally fell asleep when I had a friend over. Depending on your workload you will be very tired sometime. Luckily they try to make the first year or two of college very simple to ease you in.

Trust me, it's all doable, I just graduated university last week after about 5 years. Trust keep focused the best you can. You'll still have time for fun and such. Heck, I'm not even sure if this all made sense.
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Old 08-12-2012, 12:18 PM
Jaime Lannister Swedish Empire Jaime Lannister is offline
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Re: Is the college experience a negative one?

I was quite apathetic about college at first, and I resented it for many reasons. Studies showing that college students end up not working in the field their degree is in, degree inflation, the financial costs, etc. But my thoughts changed a bit once I actually got there.

I mean, sure, whatever I learn in the classroom I could with little to moderate difficulty learn on my own. The internet and libraries are a great source to learn new information. But beyond that if you have a good teacher, chances are most of what you'll learn comes from class discussions and whatnot. Two of my favorite classes so far have been my science classes and my psychology class. In both cases I had phenomenal teachers who would incorporate all sorts of things into their lectures, in addition to sharing their own experience and wisdom with us.

It's really whatever you make of it. I want to be a writer, first and foremost, so I see college not so much as going to classes and getting a degree so much as gaining experience to help with my writing. Make friends, ask atypical questions, indulge yourself in various experiences, and so on and so forth. To give an example, my Oceanography professor and I once discussed the hypotheticals of an alien race using gravitational beams to steal all saltwater that was found in the oceans and what the consequences would be (after class, of course! ) It was an interesting question to think about, on both ends.

I'm doing two years at a local college, living at home, before finishing up my final two years at another school. I just finished my first year and by this time next year I'll either be at or preparing to move into my dorm. I've not had any issues with grades (barring this math course I failed because I'm horrible at math), and I socialize as much as I'd like to. Personally, I think the whole "college life" thing is over glorified and presented wrongly in movies and such.
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Old 08-12-2012, 12:42 PM
Joe17 Joe17 is a male United States Joe17 is offline
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Re: Is the college experience a negative one?

I guess the experience is different for everyone. For me its just a challenge i need to finish but so far i've met a lot of new people and friends along the way.
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Old 08-12-2012, 02:58 PM
Momo Momo is a male Sweden Momo is offline
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Re: Is the college experience a negative one?

Positive or negative, it's growth. I personally love it
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Old 08-12-2012, 04:13 PM
Viajero de la Galaxia Viajero de la Galaxia is a male United States Viajero de la Galaxia is online now
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Re: Is the college experience a negative one?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Johnny Sokko View Post
I'm off to college in little more than a week, and in all honesty, I'm not looking forward to it. I have lots of anxiety about living on my own, keeping up with schoolwork, and finding my place in the college community. Something that really frightens me is how the "college experience" could change me as a person.

Since leaving for college, two of my best childhood friends have changed from being upbeat, energetic, and outgoing to sombre, jaded, and silent. I visited one of them a few days ago and we just exchanged a few meaningless sentences before he put on his headphones, laid down, and stared at the ceiling while I watched TV. We used to have so much to say to each other, but this time was just embarrassing and depressing. I really worry that "real world" life changed them for the worse, and that it could have an even greater effect on me. Do you think the college experience has a negative impact on your personality and emotional wellbeing?

I'd also like to know how drinking plays into this. Both of my friends became daily drinkers of alcohol in college. They drink the relieve stress, but I just don't believe it's good for them. Is alcohol something best avoided in college, or is it actually good for you in moderation?
If you're worried about alcohol, you can always opt for alcohol-free dorms. Most colleges in the US have these dorms, and they don't suffer from the same riff-raff that alcohol-permitted dorms have.

Even if you've already chosen a dorm that's not alcohol-free, you might be able to request a dorm change.
Last Edited by Viajero de la Galaxia; 08-12-2012 at 04:15 PM. Reason: Reply With Quote
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Old 08-12-2012, 04:16 PM
hijuliaa hijuliaa is a female United States hijuliaa is offline
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Re: Is the college experience a negative one?

I'm an example of someone who has had both positive AND negative experiences in college.

Negative- At my first college, it wasn't college exactly that killed me, but it was when I was running at college. Problems with my team really stressed me out and it took a toll. I became much more reckless and I drank heavily to escape the stress. I definitely changed for the worst then.

Positive- BUT after taking a year off and growing up a bit, realizing most of what happened at Ship was my fault, I went to ESU on a mission to just enjoy school and attack my classes with a vengeance. I changed my major to something I was much more interested in.
And like people said, there's something about now going to school because you WANT to, rather than because you HAVE to, that you feel some sort of independence. And personally for me, I function much better when I'm away from home; being able to do what I want when I want is a huge plus.
I still drink, but rarely. I love to go out, but I'm mostly the one volunteering to be DD, and I always have a lot of fun hanging out with my friends. And I love meeting new people, so that's another plus for college.
And just now, I finally got a definite decision of what I want to do in the future, so now I'm more prepared than ever to pass my classes, and having a clear goal in mind is life changing.


So yeah, it's really the person. I've seen my fair share of happy and unhappy people in college. A lot of people (and I still do) get overwhelmed by the workload, especially when finals come around, and the annoyances of financial aid and other bills. You just have to be aware of what's to come. Don't let what's apparently happen to your friends affect your mindset on college. It's a blast, and it's also a tough road, but it's up to YOU to make it work the way you want to.
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Old 08-12-2012, 04:37 PM
GerudoSpirit GerudoSpirit is a female United States GerudoSpirit is online now
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Re: Is the college experience a negative one?

I went to community college and got a two year degree. Financial aid covered everything and then some.

Then I tried going to the big University in town. Big mistake. I didn't want to get a loan so I payed out of pocket. I eventually got behind in the money I was paying them (very little money coming in from my part time work). I eventually ended up in collections. My mom said she would help me with the cost, but she ended up with financial difficulties of her own. I ended up paying off the whole balance. I was relieved, but kind of ticked that they twisted my arm to get it, even though I wanted to pay a little each month.

The work load with community college and University was about the same.

I wouldn't recommend alcohol. If you do, make sure to do it in moderation. Getting drunk can lead to life ruining consequences.
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Old 08-12-2012, 05:45 PM
Common Knowledge Common Knowledge is a male United States Common Knowledge is offline
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Re: Is the college experience a negative one?

College is what you make of it. If you make use of the opportunities you have, you'll find it worthwhile in the long run. But that's the thing: it's all about your choices now. It's not like high school where there is always some authority breathing down your neck. With college, you can do everything you want, not do anything at all, and anything in between.

Personally, for me, that switch to independence was a blessing. I'm a person who used to have the worst anxiety with high school. I was so concerned with making sure I did what was expected of me and correctly. It really took a toll on my mental health and well-being. But in college, I guess I just feel... free. Yeah, I always make sure I go to my classes and make smart choices, but that feeling that there's nobody who's just watching my every move really took away a good portion of my anxiety.

As for living on my own, I was petrified last year when I was going to head into my freshmen year. And yet, I adjusted so quickly that I surprised myself. It took me only about a week to get comfortable, when I was half-expecting to have a nervous breakdown beforehand. Things are always scary when you are anticipating them, but once you are actually experiencing it, it all falls into place. So I wouldn't worry about that.

As for the social scene, well, I go to one of the biggest partying schools in the U.S., so lets just say I witness quite a bit of the alcohol and all that. And as somebody who is not a huge partier, I was still able to find my own group to be comfortable with hanging out with. If you're going to a huge university, you have to realize, there are so many different people that you are bound to find a crowd that suits you. You may have to look, but they are there. There's no need to have to do something you don't like (such as drinking) in order to have a healthy social life.

Now, the one mistake I made during my freshman year was not making use of the opportunities available, something which I already stressed is important. This was mainly a problem towards the end of the year as I slowly started to realize I wasn't enjoying my major. That killed my enthusiasm for a lot of things, and I ended up isolating myself in my dorm for most of the day, getting more and more depressed. This is the one thing you never want to do. I was absolutely miserable at one point doing this.

Always try to get out and experience something. Go to some sport events. I'm not even interested in football, yet going to see those matches at my school is an exhilarating experience. Join a gym. That's what I'm dead set on doing as soon as I go back. You just got to keep yourself busy (with things you enjoy, preferably). I already made the mistake of not doing that, and I don't want to go through that again.
Last Edited by Common Knowledge; 08-12-2012 at 05:47 PM. Reason: Reply With Quote
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Old 08-12-2012, 06:22 PM
nighthawkx nighthawkx is offline
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Re: Is the college experience a negative one?

You'll discover that most of the kids you're surrounded by have inflated senses of self worth, come from privileged backgrounds and don't want to work hard. This is true in my experience at least.

Join a club relevant to your future career. If you don't know what you're doing, join several to help narrow it down. Become actively involved in these organizations. Seek to surround yourself to the best of the best and do not compare yourself to people who are going nowhere.

shoot for a 3.5 GPA as a minimum. It should be higher for law and medicine. For accounting banking and consulting you can probably get by with a lowly 3.4ish so long as you come from a quant heavy background(think math-econ, stats, engineering vs. business admin) and have solid WE to compensate.
Take the easiest classes you can to satisfy degree requirements and get the highest GPA possible.
Internship/work experience matters more than major. If you have to, lie about your major the first 2 years and say it's something harder/more relevant/better than what it is or claim to double major and from there after you have some work experience BUILD IT UP.
I'd argue that the prestige and reputation of the firm matters more than your actual position. Just have a high level of accomplishment relative to time spent there. Shift towards more and MORE relevant positions as you go onward though, have some sort of direction.

That's about it.
Also stay away from Asian girls.
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Last Edited by nighthawkx; 08-12-2012 at 06:28 PM. Reason: Reply With Quote
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Old 08-13-2012, 04:26 PM
bbb bbb is a male United States bbb is offline
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Re: Is the college experience a negative one?

Well, school is a pain. So...yes. Stay away from people and play games, that's what I say.
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Old 08-13-2012, 04:34 PM
Schizophrenic Pretzel Schizophrenic Pretzel is a female United States Schizophrenic Pretzel is offline
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Re: Is the college experience a negative one?

Quote:
Originally Posted by MissNanci View Post
I will be going away to a college in the states next year. I will be going on a sports scholarship so probably my college life will be different from you guys since I will need to incorporate the training in plus the schoolwork. To anyone that has been to college, do you always have to have a room-mate? I am kinda picky and will probably find it really hard to get along with another girl if she will stay in the same room as me.
At many campuses you do not have to have a roommate, but usually to have a room all to yourself you will have to pay a higher dorm fee. It might be helpful if you look on your school's website regarding dorms as prices may vary depending on the building you stay in.


As for my college experience I would say that undergrad was some of the most fun years of my life so far because I participated in the clubs on campus and was eventually able to study abroad for a year. Of course not all people flourish when going away to school but many find their niche.

I must say that undergraduate is a bit more fun than graduate school. In Undergrad I was able to take different classes that interested me in many different fields of study, yet in graduate school I know I need to know these things as I will be putting them to use rather soon in the future which adds more pressure to the learning.
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Old 08-13-2012, 05:38 PM
Vynrah Vynrah is a female United States Vynrah is offline
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Re: Is the college experience a negative one?

Quote:
Originally Posted by MissNanci View Post
I will be going away to a college in the states next year. I will be going on a sports scholarship so probably my college life will be different from you guys since I will need to incorporate the training in plus the schoolwork. To anyone that has been to college, do you always have to have a room-mate? I am kinda picky and will probably find it really hard to get along with another girl if she will stay in the same room as me.
At my college, if you're living on campus, you have to have roommates.
But every college is different.

I think the vast majority of people are this way though, picky about people they live with, whether they realize it or not. And you know what? My first roommate (a random stranger my school put me in a room with) suuuucked. She wasn't the worst because she was hardly around, but when she was she was awful. And you know what? That's a part of life and something you're going to have to deal with (most likely) at some point in your life. You learn a lot about yourself and other people having to live with them and even if they're your best friend you're going to have turmoil at some point.

I don't think you should be too worried about it, it'll be a good experience in the long run, even if it means getting a bad experience out of the way early.

As for the overall experience (for me thus far~): I've had extreme positives and negatives, definitely my highest highs and my lowest lows I've experienced in my life thus far.
College so far has REALLY been what you make of it. It's up to you and what you want to/make yourself do. My biggest advice is to do some things outside your comfort zone. Experience things. Don't do anything crazy, but make yourself grow. That doesn't mean you have to go binge drinking just to experience it or anything like that, but if you're nervous to go to a book club or a special lecture or WHATEVER, just go for it. Don't be afraid of change, unless you live the most sheltered, dull, lonely life I've got news for you: you're going to change. At some point in life, it's going to have to happen, might as well start now.
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