What do you look for in a friendship? A romantic relationship?

Everyone has things they expect out of people; I, for one, have far too many.

When looking for a friend or a boyfriend/girlfriend, what you look for when entering that relationship? What do you expect? Have you expected more of some friendships than others? Where do you draw the lines between one and the other?

Here's my list, which I may add to as I think of things. I don't necessarily expect all of them, but I tend to look for them when meeting or getting to know someone:

Things I would look for in a friendship:

• Able to be open and to listen to them, as well as being heard
• Being acknowledged as an equal
• Be able to have a conversation
• I'm not embarrassed or infuriated by the way they act in public, or appear to others who are associated with me
• Able to sustain our friendship without me constantly nagging the opposite party
• An understanding of where the "lines" stand

In addition to the above, in a romantic relationship:

• Being a friend (as noted above)
• Respect
• Be able to talk out problems logically
• Private and alone time
• Physical intimacy (not necessarily but may include sex)
• Personal Commitment (meaning, while we are dating you are dating me and me alone, as well as keeping a certain degree of contact between the two of us)
• A certain level of morals or education (I'd like to be around my level, higher education is not necessary but certainly accepted. I don't want someone who is explicitly moral and/or religious, but some are certainly attractive)
• Knowing where the lines for serious times and joking matters are divided
• Some form of being aesthetically attractive

Hm, interesting question.

What I look for in a friend:
-Being able to have a serious discussion, whether it's about morality or politics
-Being able to joke with them
-Someone who understands that I don't want to hang out with them 24/7, I need my own space
-Differing views. I don't want to be friends with a clone of me or someone who just agrees with everything I say. There need to be at least some differences, for I'm not going to learn anything from them if there aren't. Plus, it makes for fun discussions.
-Preferably, someone who's more lighthearted than me. I'm quite serious in real life, so (although the person must retain a level of depth) I prefer the friend to be more carefree. It helps balance me out.

Oddly enough, I don't care whether they have a different ideology than me. I mean, they have to share some of the same moral values as me, but one of my closest friends has the total opposite views as me. Literally, we disagree on nearly everything. It keeps it interesting. And yes, I've expected more out of certain friendships than others just because they've been deeper. I've also expected different things out of different friendships because the people are different.

I'm not sure about romantic partners. Everything listed under friendship, obviously. I guess a key difference would be that they could *never* judge me for anything I did ever. I'm fine with them disagreeing or expressing disapproval, but they could never actually judge me. I'd like that in a friendship, but I expect judgement sometimes in one.

I find it interesting that I have always been able to pick who is not my friend. But never who is my friend.

There are people I have met in my life who I wouldn't mind being friends with, for whatever reason and it just doesn't happen. But then I look at my most closest friends, and especially in real life, I really didn't "pick them". It just happened.

So with that in mind I can't really have a criteria.



As for lovers, I don't even know any more. I guess that they can put up with my crazy and I can put up with theirs? lol

I'm an odd fellow. I like friends who ignore me when they don't need me and bug me when they do. I like my romantic relationships to not be very close and touchy, but mysterious yet not very deep. I'm not very complicated, and I don't like my life to be complicated.

I've very few friends, and it's not that I'm asocial, but I'm just extremely picky with issuing trust. Sure, I've a lot of acquaintances, but -friends-? Takes me a bit longer to figure that out. I don't need to have a lot in common with the other person; just the ability to communicate well, back and forth, exchange ideas, honesty, and be open to that.

Sometimes, it's not even the communication part that'll nail it, but being able to sit comfortably in silence with someone that makes me appreciate our connection even more.

Also, I find the defining time for a friend, for me, isn't when we're laughing and talking and having a good time, but when I'm at my lowest and if he/she is still there for me. That'll usually determine something special for me.

Romance? Oh I don't know, long blonde hair, preferably in the style of meatballs on her head, sailor scout outfit, a magical tiara, MOON PRINCESS!?!?!

(in all seriousness, I've learnt that what I thought I WANTED in a romantic relationship was not the same thing as what I NEEDED. I could elaborate, but I've got to go flip my French toast whoops, bbl)

Originally Posted by Tuxedo Mask

(in all seriousness, I've learnt that what I thought I WANTED in a romantic relationship was not the same thing as what I NEEDED. I could elaborate, but I've got to go flip my French toast whoops, bbl)

Admin of the year right here.

In a friendship, I don't really look for much. Honestly one of my newest friends, who I've spoken to for uhhbout 3 weeks now, we don't have a huge amount in common. However, we both still communicate well and enjoy each other's company. That's basically all I look for on the surface. I don't expect them to be there for me when I'm down, since... how can I? I can't test to see if they will be there, and I dunno. I just try not to get my expectations up.

However, it's a huge surprise for me when friends really are there for me in times of need. Buu and Avalanchemike have both been a huge help to me recently, and like. I mean we have been talking so regularly you would not believe and helping me get through my issues. I never asked either of them to be there for me(even if I initiated conversation once or twice) and neither complained.

YES I'M SAYING YOU ARE GOOD FRIENDS.

But originally, those were both two people who I just got on with really now, but because they were there for me when I was down and helped pick me back up, they're now two of my closest friends ever.

So, that's what I look for in a friendship. Someone who I can entertain and be entertained by, and hopefully when the time comes they'll be there for me. If not, then I don't think less of them.


Uhh... Romantic relationships are. Kinda tough. Because I've only ever been in one, and it basically just started out as a friendship and grew really quickly. I don't look for any more virtues than I do in a friendship... it just sorta depends how like. Compatible, we are? I dunno how to explain it. But I don't really look for anything in particular. I assume that we'll be closer than average friends, but I can't really say there's anything specifically that makes me want to be in a relationship with someone instead of a friendship.

FRIENDS
Someone I can
- Trust
- Communicate well with
- Have at least a few things in common
- Just "click" with.

I don't really look for something in a friend, if it turns out we just click the right way, so be it. There have been people I thought I'd be great friends with, that I only ended up being acquaintances with. Other times me and the other person are just like pepsi and pizza and we're instant buddies. So long as we enjoy each others' company and there's a level of trust I feel, we's good.

RELATIONSHIPS/VAGINAS
I've never been in one, but to start they'd need to have the above (we connect, trust each other, share interests, etc).

Once again, having never been in one, I'm not too sure how I'd be in a relationship or just what I'd expect. However there are three things I'm certain are a must:

- I must be attracted to them. If I like one's personality, I find them attractive, so I doubt this'd be hard.
- Intelligence. I'm not saying you need to be a chemist or have a doctorate in physics, but I would need someone who would be able to comprehend things and be able to hold serious conversations with me from time to time (i.e. about philosophy and politics and whatnot).
- Ambition. Doesn't need to be like "I WANT TO BE THE WORLD'S RICHEST PERSON", but I don't wanna be in a relationship with someone who is content with watching TV 24/7. Nigga's gotta want to travel or go out and do things with me or have a hobby like drawing or writing or playing music.

Speaking of, while not required, I am extremely attracted to artistic people. If someone writes, plays an instrument, sings, paints, draws, etc., they become much more attracted in my eyes. The ability to put thought and emotion into something really gets me, it's as if some part of them that can't really be communicated through talking comes out.




I suppose if I REALLY wanted to, I could get super duper specific. Support me and my writing endeavors, want to help make the world a better place, don't support capitalism, want to live in Seattle with me, want to travel around, be a writer, be a tall woman with black hair and dress a bit gothic or punkish, smoke a lot of weed and partake in drugs, have a bit of a nerdy side, be extremely kind but still independent, not be a Christian, but ultimately so long as those first three things are met, I think I could deal with the others not being fulfilled. Nobody is going to be perfect and I wouldn't want to be so picky that I might end up rejecting someone when they might actually be a great partner.

In friendship:
Accept my faults: I have a lot and I tent to mess up.
They are always there to listen.
Never to abandon me.
Know that I have my limits.

In relationship (never been into one):
Know that I have to take my time on things.
I still need my me time.
Accept my looks (and I'll accept yours too).
He is there to listen.

Again I never been in a relationship before and I'm still afraid on doing things with that person (kissing, hugging, etc.)

In a Friendship:
-Trust (I don't freely give it, but once you have it... you're good)
-Good sense of humor
-Doesn't press me on religion

In a Relationship:
-Understanding
-TRUST
-Physical Intimacy (doesn't mean sex, but I'm a very physical person. I crave it)

I haven't been in too many relationships, actually most "attempts" crash and burn without ever lifting off. I can't really deal with online/long-distance relationships. Sure, if I like ya I'll whisper sweet nothings and all that, but I crave physical contact. Without that, any relationship with me is doomed to fail.

In a friendship: humour, things in common, most of the stuff posted above.
In a relationship: Haven't been in one, but I'm sure I'll get round to it.

Friends- As long as we get along, can hang out and have fun that's all that matters. A few common interests wouldn't be bad but as long as I have fun when I'm hanging out with this person that's all that matters.

Relationship- I have to be attracted to her, I mean nobody dates someone they aren't attracted too. I have to be able to fully TRUST her. We have to be able to have fun together, the relationships where you don't really have to go out and make plans but you still have fun no matter what because you're with that person are the best relationships! She has to be able to hold a conversation, and be intelligent! Also she has to have some ambition and goals in life. She also would have to be able to put up with me!

Friends - listen to my endless bull♥♥♥♥ and still not hate me. Because it's endless. Also, allow me to listen to yours, please. I want my friends to be able to trust me and open up to me! That's when I know we're really close.
Also if you make me laugh, that's awesome.
Don't be boring, don't flake on me, don't respond with one-worded texts. And that's about all I really require for friendships.

Relationships - At least respect me, accept my (many) flaws, respect my kid, and just. Be a decent person? You know. I like nice people. I like cute and eccentric and geeky people. Accept the fact that I like to wear the pants. And I really only date girls or the incidental girly boy.

Frandz
I gotta have someone who wont defy my trust. Im like Liah that way. It takes me a little while to build up that trust with someone. But when i do, its pretty great. Its why i can be friends with a variety of people. Having similar interests is a plus, but not always necessary. If someone is a good person despite them not having much in common with me, its still good. Plus i believe in having friends of all walks of life. If i narrowed it down to only a single type of person, i would have very few friends anywhere.

I also look for someone who isnt gonna judge me. Since im not gonna judge them, i want the return to be the same. Im...a bit of an odd duck...so....yeah. Gotta have someone who can understand that im not exactly what is considered normal. If they think its awesome that im not all like other people, even better. I have a friend whos not terribly radically different from me, but she is a bit more normal. More unassuming than anything. But she finds my quirks to be the coolest thing. I also want to be able to entrust a friend with my...biggest secret...If a person can accept that about me, ♥♥♥♥ yeah. If they even believe or understand entirely, its even better.

Gettin' Bizzay!

Hmmmm...A lot of the above really but also someone who can really put up with me. Whos not afraid to tell me whats up. Having a spine is important. I cant stand spineless people. They appear really weak to me and since im a strong personality, it clashes with what im all about. Super submissive people put me off. But super pushy people also put me off. So a nice balance is needed.

I do not like partners with enormous egos. If a potential partner thinks his or her ♥♥♥♥ dont stink, GTFO. I dont ♥♥♥♥ roses and no one else does. Deal with it. Do not speak to me like im a moron! DO NOT!!! If this happens, face my wrath. Im not an idiot nor uneducated in the ways of the world. I am far from naive.

A partner must be intelligent. They have to have a level of intellect that can my own. Im not Stephen Hawking, so this isnt difficult at all. But you'd be surprised how many partners ive had that werent very sharp. Have some idea what i am talking about when i speak in analogy and metaphor. Its not rocket science. Be able to speak to me about the deeper mysteries of life.

ONE MUST SHARE THY MIND! If something is bothering a potential partner, they must be able to speak up about it and tell me whats up. I tend to miss subtle clues about junk like that. I cannot read minds so yeah. Share thy feelings because i most certainly do.

Since im very straight forward and dont play little games, i expect the same. Dont try to mess with my head. Im tired of that. Also if a potential partner is a bit...unstable (psychologically), im gonna wanna run the other way. Ive had my fair share of unstable people in my life and im at the period of my life where i know what i am and where i wanna go. Im not all willy nilly or messed in the head. Im tired of having to deal with people with issues. I know that sounds cruel, but if you had dealt with the dudes ive been with, you'd say the same thing.

What I look for in a friendship:
-Trust
-We can talk about anything
-Help me through my problems
-Sense of humor

What I look for in a relationship
-I have to like their personality.
-I have to be able to trust them. Trust is important for a relationship.
-I have to have my time with the boys and other friends.
-Be there for me when I'm in need.
-We can communicate well. Communication is important as well
-Sense of humor

To me they are sort of the same. I would want my partner to be my best friend. Someone I can laugh with, have heated arguments with, share common interests with, love deeply, have a companion. It's all blurred.

Friendship:
Someone I can be weird with. Someone who isn't too dogmatic. Someone relatively intelligent (basically someone to have a conversation with.) Someone who is emotionally mature (no drama). Someone who is not self-absorbed.

Relationships:
lol idk