Everyone cries, or at least has cried in their life. It's a normal humanly function, and I think it's alright; yet, in some cases, men are still encouraged to appear stoic and strong. This has resulted in them transferring their feelings into anger, while it is okay for a woman to cry, even though they are still encouraged to hold in their feelings. We are no longer in 1950s America, but I still experience the pressure in which people, and especially men, feel they should hold in their emotions.
What is crying to you, as in, your relationship with it? Do you cry privately, with someone else or other people around, or does it matter?
How frequently do you cry? When was the last time you cried? Did you cry more as a child? What do you think about people holding in their emotions?
Maybe a few of you know this, but crying was considered a survival instinct that many men did. I have little clue over how it is with other ZU members, but there is really only one person in my life who seems stuck in how things were decades ago. My father nags at me and finds it annoying whenever I would cry in front of him, and he got annoyed whenever my mother would cry when they were together. I can only presume that he was raised to act tough and manly. I care about expressing how I feel inside, and have never thought I should conform to manliness.
But, if I cry, I try to do it privately, or around close friends, because I don't want to make a scene and do it in front of a lot of people. If I feel emotional, I leave or wait until the best time to let out my emotions.
I don't cry that often. I cried alone and twice with my father around during last winter, but I have neither cried nor have had a great enough reason to cry throughout the past few months.
A used to cry a lot as a child. Similar to how I am now, I never felt pressured to hold in my emotions, but I tried to find the right place to cry. I was more prone to cry around people. One kid even asked me if I was autistic, since I guess autistic people have a greater tendency to cry than "normal" people, if I'm right.
I don't get the whole "men shouldn't cry" crap. It's an emotion. It's not just a "female" thing to do. It's as normal as happiness and anger.
My opinion does not change around males who I find crying. They're not weak. They have every reason to cry as much as anyone else.
I was raised in a family where tears are considered something "hush" amongst us. If someone is crying, we tend to just... leave them alone. I was brought up that way so I naturally find it awkward to approach them, and it makes me sick that I am this way about it.
I keep all my tears behind a locked door as much as I can. I hate crying around people or friends or family or whatever. Sometimes I cry a few times a day, sometimes once a month and so on.
That's really all I can say. A couple weeks ago, we watched this movie called Warrior, and I cried a couple times in the movie, I'm not embarassed or ashamed.
When I see a guy crying, I don't make fun of him, or see him as a weak person, crying is natural.
The last time I really cried was when my younger (youngest in the family) brother and dad (or step-dad, he was adopted, but lived right next door to us, we are very close to the family) passed away. I... just couldn't believe it, at all. I couldn't understand what my sister was saying when she walked in the door, crying. I, just died right there, when I finally heard her say they died.
One of the hardest things to do, was wake up my dad, and tell him. I was ♥♥♥♥ing crying like crazy, just, a very emotional time for all of us.
Is it sad that I still think of him, and still cry because he's gone?
lol, getting teary-eyed writing this post, I think I'll stop.
I am a very cry-y person. Can't help it. It's just an emotional response to anything that makes me feel upset, guilty, angry, overwhelmed, etc.
What really bugs me is when people act as if crying is something that can be controlled. "Stop crying." "Don't use that crying to make me feel bad." It's not a ♥♥♥♥ing tool to use at my disposal, it's a legitimate emotional response that my body gives when I am being overcome with a certain emotion. If someone tells me not to cry because I'm an adult or whatever, I just feel like slapping them. It's generally embarrassing enough, without someone bringing a ridiculous amount of attention to it, especially if they act offended.
I'd rather cry alone too. I'm not too fond of people seeing me in such a vulnerable state and I always feel way too exposed. My feelings are usually written on my face anyway, but when I cry, it's like naked emotion and it feels really embarrassing when people see that.
Despite that I tend to end up crying in public, because - as Pani said - I simply can't help it. I keep fighting tears back or trying to postpone the crying just for like 5 minutes when I could be alone, but in the next moment I'm crying anyway and it's horrible.
I'm rather surprised though how ignorant people are towards crying. When I cry, that's a sign of severe emotional distress. (I don't often, if ever, cry in happiness.) And yet I notice that people tend to avert their gaze, ignore it or tell me to stop; I don't know why, but if I see someone crying, my first reaction is usually something help-related.
Not without heavy inebriation that is. Everyone who has been in a break up and goes for heavy drinking knows how this can turn out haha. You have too many beers and someone mentions something lame and you're all water works all over someone's shoulder haha. We've all been there, my self once or twice probably.
Other than that though, I find it difficult to cry. Really beautiful films and movies, or really sad ones can make me get a lump in my throat, but I have yet to cry, at least that I remember. I probably will though.
When something really tough happens, I usually withdraw and prefer to be by my self. Mainly because I feel emotional displays and outbursts embarrassing to me. I am afraid of people losing respect for me. Weird. But yeah, unless it is like, my sister or a very very close person, I will usually hide from them before crying.
The internet has helped a lot with a source to share and vent. It's easier to trust people on the net, since the potential harm they can bring to your social standing and life in general is minimal considering anonymity and all the geographical boundaries. I don't think I have ever IMed anyone or anything whilst crying though. Again because it rarely happens for me.
Still ♥♥♥♥ the whole macho men don't cry thing. Effeminacy is ♥♥♥♥ hot right now anyway. ♥♥♥♥♥es love a girly dude in touch with their ~feelings~
I actually think I cry a lot more when I am older, but for more serious reasons I guess, when I was a kid I would cry if like I scrapped my knee, or there wasn't any icecream left.
When I got older obviously I had a better understanding of things, my grandfather died when I was like 8, and I didn't cry because I probably didn't understand exactly what to feel, but when my grandmother died last year, I did cry.
I don't cry often, not because I am afraid too, or think I appear weak, but it takes quite a lot for me to cry. Lately I have been really emotional because of my hormones, so I did cry at like some sad films I watched the other day. Though the last time I really cried was not long ago when my boyfriend broke up with me, I hardly ever cry over guys, but it was ♥♥♥♥ situation.
I always cry. I think it is very important to show emotions. I really don't care what people think of that, that's not important to me. It is also very important to release wastes from the eyes, which is another reason to cry. To hide emotions isn't very healthy.
When I was a kid, I used to cry a lot. This happened about once a week. Practically anything would spur it on and I think it's the primary reason I was so lonely. If I fell over, or if someone called me stupid, I'd cry. I don't even know why. I didn't feel overly upset, at least consciously, but for some reason I'd cry and then I'd hate myself for furthering myself from the group. However, I just kind of... grew out of it. Now I don't cry ever. I think in the past five years, I've cried... twice, and both of them were within the last six months for uh... not silly reasons I cried when I was a kid.
If I feel the need to cry, I try and do it some where in private. It's generally very embarrassing to cry in public, plus it brings a lot of unwanted attention. Unfortunately though, I actually find the need to cry quite often, because depression and anxiety are ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥s. I used to cry a lot though, right up to my early teens, mainly because I have quite a low pain threshold. Last time I remember crying in public was actually just a couple weeks ago, at a gig. I was moved to tears by the music. That was quite an odd experience...
Crying is vomiting for your emotions, that's how I've always viewed it.
Like when you're sick, or when you've eaten something bad, or too much, you vomit because the body needs to purge, it can't hold whatever it is inside. Crying to me has always been the same sort of thing, emotions are too turbulent and overwhelming, so the body purges them with tears.
I usually cry privately in moments of overwhelming emotion. When I'm really angry or frustrated or (obviously) sad. It's usually a minute or two of sniffles and tears, then I'm over it and back to normal.
I only typically cry publicly when either drunk or if I'm watching a sad movie or something.
I'm kinda weird in that I wish I would cry more. When I was younger, yeah, sometimes I'd cry for hours until I fell asleep. The last time I truly cried was maybe three or four years ago?
Around last December I recall crying for a few minutes.
I went to see The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel a few weeks ago. I nearly teared up quite a few times, but since I was with my dad and our other friend I held it in.
Honestly, I think I'd cry a lot more if I wasn't worried about someone hearing me or thinking I was weak. The first is, well, I live with my grandpa and dad and I just don't like showing emotions around them. Happiness, anger, sadness, anything. The latter, I don't think I'd feel comfortable crying around any of my guy friends. It's odd considering who I am and how I believe everyone is equal and whatnot, but I'd just feel more comfortable crying with female friends than male friends.
Used to cry all the time from bullies in elementary school. It was humiliating. Later on, in high school, I'd cry occasionally near bed time, because I was basically a huge wuss (not that crying makes you a wuss, but the things that made me cry were pretty pathetic -- not going into it).
Nowadays I never cry. I don't cry in public for any reason ever, and I actively hold back my tears when they come when I'm alone. Screw crying. I only let myself cry tears of joy nowadays, and even then I try to hold them back a bit. My mentality is "if this is really something worth crying about, I'll cry no matter what, even if I'm trying to hold it back." In general, I try to avoid crying whenever possible.
Do I consider it effeminate? In most cases yes. Men should be more stoic and detached, and should have less to cry over. The last time I fully allowed myself to cry was a few weeks back, when my friend said something to me that paradoxically made me feel terrible and guilty, but happy and hopeful all at the same time. It was weird. I waited 'till I was alone to let it out, though.
It think crying is often good. Of course it always depends why you are crying. I personally believe crying out of self pity is for the most part kind of weak. For the reason I think culure has developed the "crying is weak" stereotype because many people see crying as a sign of self pity, i.e. weakness.
I also believe people used to see it that way because it takes a lot of strength to hold in your emotions. Crying is showing that you lack that strength. I am not agreeing with that stereotype, but many people who cry out of self pity often have weak characters.
I personally cry like most people do. When something sad or tragic happens. I think most people grow out the juvenile self pity tears when they reach about 13. Crying is perfectly natural, but like most people I find it embarrasing, so I try to keep it as discrete as possible.
Crying is way to show emotions to people. Everyone should have a right a cry; men, women, and children.
Me I'm such a crybaby I would cry for things that are not even worth of mentioning. When I cry I don't do it in front of people, just shows a sign of weakness.
I prefer to cry alone when no one is looking. If someone is crying in front of me I'm completely shocked and have no idea what I should do.
I used to cry a lot and I didn't know why, starting in the third grade. One time in the third grade, I was talking to my friends and trying not to cry, when they told me it was okay to.. and I did. We sat on a bench and I cried, and one or two of my friends sat with me. Apparently one of my sisters saw and told on me when we got home, and I got in trouble. I don't really remember why, but my mom was mad at me for crying.
I would get really upset for smaller things in consequential years, and then from the 6th till probably... 11th grade, I cried every day, at least once a day.
It got better and worse and better and worse, and I got sick of it and stopped. The last two years I didn't cry so much, but now I have emotions again, so it feels kinda refreshing!