Friends as Family

I think it's an interesting concept - how we can consider people we are not related to by blood to be some of the closest people to us. Some of us may even have friends who we consider more important and closer than our family.

I'm one of these people. Anyone who knows me or pays attention to me probably knows I abhor my father and don't care much for my grandfather. I love my mom and to some extent my sister, but other than the two of them I really don't give a ♥♥♥♥ about my family. My father and grandfather are like, the opposite of what I look for in people I want to associate with, and all my aunts and cousins and uncles and what not, I really do not care for.

People who are not actually related to me are closer. I'm not saying that EVERY single person I'm friends with I consider my family, but there are people who definitely stand out and I consider family before my "real family", so to speak.

There's a few of these people, so I'll start with outside the internet. There's a group of kids, named Michael, John, David, Tomie, TJ (Tomie's little brother and 4 years younger than me), and Nicole (sister of Tomie and TJ). These guys (and girl) are seriously like brothers and sister to me. These are the guys whose houses I could walk into at any hour and have a couch to sleep on. These are the guys who'd do just about anything for me, and vise-versa. I can't even recall the number of times I've slept over their houses, or all the crazy ♥♥♥♥ we've done. I met them all about 3 years ago and they've been great friends ever since. These guys I have to thank on some level for me being so chill, so open to things, and cheering me up when I've been down. No matter what's happened we've remained friends and we don't fight or get into arguments. Even though we're all a bit spread out right now (David is in jail, Mike lives kinda far away, TJ lives with his dad [which is near my house], and the other three are on the beach, about 15 miles from me and TJ) our bond has never really diminished. And the moment any of us are with the others, it's like the connection immediately comes back and we're all just chill and bros.

And... ♥♥♥♥, I simply do not know where to begin once I go online, to ZU. I guess I'll start with Jordan who's probably my longest running friend here on ZU. This guy is very much a brother to me who I tell so many things to. He's a wonderful person and I love him.

There's other people. I guess Dennis is like that cool older brother that I don't see often. Liah I kinda see as an older sister/mother. AvaMichael is my gay uncle. Saul is my bro. Lots of people in this one skype group are like family to me, keith, Harrie, Nesi, etc.

Even if there are ZUers I don't really consider family, lots of people here are close friends of mine. People like Saul and AvaLiah and Jordan don't really compare to my friends outside of ZU. I mean, sure, I'll party and get drunk or high or hit the beach or go to concerts with them. Talk and chat with them, but I could count my close friends that I truly care about irl on two hands. There are people on ZU and IRL who I would consider my real family and lots of nigs here are close friends of mine that I care deeply about.


Tell me about your friend-families, ZU.

I don't think I have a family, biological or not. I do have friends, but I don't really get close to them because I'm just not able to do that mentally. That is just an ability that's missing from my brain as far as I'm concerned. I'd like to get close to a friend its just never happened.

I suppose I'd consider my brother Frank and my grandmother as family and I rarely see them, but other than them I don't think I have family.

Edit: Since other people are discussing ZUers, no I don't think I'd consider anyone on ZU like family. Hell I maybe have 1-2 friends (Tessie and Strawberry) on here and we're not really close, we maybe chat like once a week.

My dad thinks I am an idiot and probably will equate to nothing. My mother is the only one who really cares about me. My brother is always playing video games and cares only about himself. My sister is bratty.

My uncle loves me and I think highly of him, even though he has a bad history. I love my cousin even though he is... not entirely sane.

I am generally unaccepted by my side of the family, but my uncle's side loves me.

EDIT:

I don't know if anyone from ZU would be considered family... Not sure.

My family is, pfft, ♥♥♥♥. Like, I literally given up on my famiy about a year ago because of my parents constant crap towards me- May it be my mom giving me bull♥♥♥♥ or my dad keep forgetting who I am cause he's so ♥♥♥♥ing busy all the time I just grew independent away from them.

My (half)-sister-- I barely get along with her, she constantly doesbull♥♥♥♥ stuff like my mother, but I'm pretty much used to it now.

My moms side of the family loves me MORE than my own mother. And I never got a chance to meet my fathers side, for all they know is that I don't exist cause we never spoken or met with each other.



But, there is only 3 (was 4) people out there who I can give my complete trust to, my loyalty, and consider as a brother/sister/mother/father idol:
(1.) first one was Nina [look at siggy], she was my friend and possibly the sister I wished I had. Shes by far, and still, the only person I cannot get mad at. I still love her to death, even though she is dead)

Then Shelby (Animika on the forums). Shes the sweetest and hears me out when I need it, and I do the same for her in return. I'd be dammed if I see something bad happen to her. :[

And theres my friend Zuberi that I made friends with about a month ago- despite how it takes a lot to earn my trust, he pretty much nailed me down (not ME, but how I am) He respects me as an individual and so far I am able to tell him everything that has been on my mind. He's such a classy guy.

And Tess, on the forums. By gosh, shes my best friend and my lesbian
/bisexual partner (lol just saying). We knew each other and talked to each other since she was a newbie here. By far, the other member I go to for anything in that direction

There is others, but those are the main ones I am devoted too.

I still consider these people as my family or secret lovers (lol) on ZU:
Cayley(Strawberry), Mikheal(Xeno), Chris (Hayclon Hero), Radek (don't ask how he fits there, he just does), and Rachel (Willow-chan).

On the philosophical side of things, Jane's Addiction covers this for me:

True hunting is over,
No herds to follow,
Without game, men prey on each other.
The family weakens by the bite we swallow.

True leaders gone,
Of land and people,
We choose no kin but adopted strangers.
The family weakens by the length we travel.

The concept of "family" is what you make of it. Blood ties are inherently meaningless, especially in modern society. I'm closer to a lot of my friends more than I am my own family, barring my sister. But I am blessed to have a LOT of friends that I'm extremely close to, which makes up for how distant I stay from my own biological family.

Interesting story though. Some of you may know Tempest from #vgrc and HTLOZ. We go way back, trolling the same websites, dated the same girl for awhile. There's been times I've randomly shown up at his house drunk at 7am. Anyways, he's like, pure Scottish/Irish, and I recently found out that my grandmother's mother's side of the family has Scottish lineage. So I tell this to him, and he's this huge expert on Scottish history and the clans and such. The clan my grandmother's mother came from apparently had worked with his clan to just sack villages and rain havok down on the Scottish Borders. We were essentially the hired goons. He's telling me this, and then referencing some of the internet "operations" we've worked on, is like "and history once again repeats itself." Found that to be pretty cool.

After living with Micah for a year, him and his younger brother Josh also became brothers to me, and I miss them dearly. Erica/Kreebby I jokingly adopted as my internet daughter some years back, but now she's practically my sister at this point and one of my closest friends. She's cool as heck. Hindmost I don't hear from much nowadays, but I've always considered him a bro. Katie/Alonely has been one of my closest friends on here for years, we can go for months at a time without talking and still pick things back up like nothings ever changed. Thom/CelestialBeard is my crazy dutch DTA bro. Strawberry is my current internet child, even if we don't talk a whole lot. Leminnes, PyroMyrmidon, Andi, Chris, Liah are all close and I love them to death. More people from other boards, the bulk of #vgrc, jobs I've worked on, parties I've been to, etc, etc. Everyone who matters all knows who they are, I shouldn't have to name names here.

I really don't consider any friends IRL family. On ZU, however, I consider a few people to be like family.

I don't want to name names, except for one person. I never expected to be close with people online, but I can say with confidence that Vynrah is my best friend, over anyone IRL. She's as close to family to me as you can get without being blood related.

None. I have bros and blood relations. But the idea of "closeness and family" is a straight weakness. The more people you have close to you, the weaker you are imo. So I find it's best to have no one close. But I guess I'd consider my dad to be my biggest bro. He's a cool dude who taught me everything I know and is living the dream with lots of women, money and nice cars.

I guess I'm okay with my family. Sure all of us are separated but we still love each other.
I guess I have some people that I do consider as family.
In Zu, I have quite the family.
I miss Tyler here in ZU, I consider him as little brother and one of the only person who I talk to in Skype that I don't feel that nervous.

I guess I have many little groups I would call families?

I love my immediate family.
For the most part, they are the only people I would call my true family. Whilst I have some issues with them, which is normal, I really do love my father, mother, sister and brother quite a lot. They're great.

But whilst I love them, I don't really socialise with them. I mean I talk to my mother a fair bit, but eh, it's whatever. When I get home I lock my self in my room and I do not leave. They're not allowed in my room. I don't really look to them for support or help, if anything I just share my successes so I have someone to be proud of me and vice versa. I don't really rely on them to that level. Mind you my parents and siblings both come to me for advice often.


My extended family I am completely indifferent to. Don't know them. They live in Venezuela and really have nothing to do with me at all.


As a substitute, the Venezuelan community here, which is very small, has sort of become that to me. The people I consider cousins are the other Venezuelan youths who live nearby. The people I would call uncles and aunts are the close friends of my family. So yeah they are kind of my proxy extended family. People like my friends Maxim, Alejandro, Amanda and Illich are really quite close to me I guess on a level of socialising. They're the first people I call if I want to do something and hang out. But I would never confide in them, open up and search for support or advice. Never, not in a million years.

They do come to me for advice and support though. I love Alejandro and Maxim particularly a lot. Great people to hang out with.





As for my Australian friends and people I know. Well there is really only one true friend in that regard. His name is James, and he's closer to me than any of my Venezuelan buddies. He's really my best friend after Amy. He DOES have a kind of family made out of his friends. They include me (I am now his best friend), Sean, Kayla, Olivia and Lachlan. They're all very close to him, and whilst I suppose I see all of those people a lot, and could I guess call them my friend. I really only know them all through James. If James and I ceased to be friends, I'd no longer continue to talk to them.

Oddly enough he's the only one I don't consider my family. Or part of my family. Despite me spending more time with him than my ACTUAL family AND more time with him than my proxy family. He's my one true friend (:

I don't confide in him though, LOL. Nope not for one second. James and I share some similarities, but in other regards, we are polar opposites. I mean think about me. Now try to think about what my best friend would be like. Lol, maybe some smarty pants dude at uni, maybe doing some business degree. He's a hipster obviously and wears the tightest jeans around right?

NOPE.
James is a trades person, currently working on an apprenticeship to become a carpenter. He wears the most daggy clothing around, literally jeans which are 5 years old with holes in them, and a singlet which is covered in paint. Lmao. We're so ♥♥♥♥ing different, from the outside most people wouldn't have a clue why the two of us are friends, it makes no sense. He comes from a crowd of people that I actually resent lmao, the Australian bogan.

But where we are similar is really strong. To begin with, he's a drummer, I've known him since I was 9. In primary school he used to bully the ♥♥♥♥ out of me all the ♥♥♥♥ing time. But then when I started playing bass at 15 I joined his metal band LOL. So we have music in common. Secondly he and I both have Tourette's Syndrome. So we kinda share that with us.

And finally, when it comes to having fun. James and I are both wild as ♥♥♥♥ing ♥♥♥♥. Haha going out to party with James and I can be pretty fun. But add alcohol or drugs into the mix? ♥♥♥♥, WE LOSE FRIENDS because of how wild we become. We steal street signs, wrestle in the middle of the road, ♥♥♥♥ on public barbecues, vandalise primary schools, destroy the inside of Mac Donald's toilets and all round just make a mess of everything. We're both real trolls when it comes to that stuff. Many MANY people are simply unimpressed by the behaviour he and I get up to, but ♥♥♥♥ that lmao, we just want to have fun.


And if that means drinking a litre of yoghurt, standing out the front of a super market at 11pm and waiting for people to walk past so we can pretend to be hurt and then throw up all over the floor in front of them, then you can bet that's what we'll do.




Still he's not the brightest tool in the shed, and whilst I love him like a brother, no way I would confide in him. Nup lololol. He does come to me for advice though. And I don't see him as family, he's just my best friend irl. I fulfil my academic and pretentious smarty people side of my personality at university as well as here on ZU. What James provides for me, is that other side of me, the more wild, party loving rockstar side that just wants to be reckless and have fun. The naughty side haha. I should point out, he is probably the most unique and odd person I know.







And THEN there is my band. Well what is left of it. The guitarist and drummer quit, so we have new members. I hate my singer because he is a ♥♥♥♥ing ♥♥♥♥ head. And then my other guitarist who sings is kinda big brotherly with me, but eh, we just get along well. No family here.



Finally, there are my ZU peeps and the people in Farore. These guys are my life line haha. I've opened up to Amy, Liah and SD incredibly so. I speak to Amy pretty much every day without fail, and whilst I don't talk to Liah or SD too often because time zones, they still hold that place in my life. So yeah, they're the people I confide in. My leetle online interweb family.


Farore is family.
DON'T FORGET IT ♥♥♥♥ERS
4CLAN4CLAN4CLAN

For me I love my immediate family. I would say that we're pretty close. We go on vacation every year together seems like. And we talk everyday. I have always been close to my family. Sure I pick on my younger sister but it's just what siblings do. I have an older half sister that I barely talk too because she lives far away but we still love each other. She named one of her kids after me. I love talking to her when I can get the chance.

Also, I have two half brothers. One I have never met. He got adopted out before I was even born. We know about each other but haven't talked or seen each other. My mom has told me stories about him. One of these days I will meet him eventually. When we're both ready. I have another half brother who I have only seen a few times. But he calls once in awhile and we talk for awhile. I love him.

I have always gotten along with my family. They have always been there for me through good and bad times. And for that I thank them.

There are some friends that I consider family. In college I would hang out with a few friends all the time. We would walk into each others room without knocking and just take food or drinks whenever we felt like it. Always letting each other borrow and take stuff and not worry about it. I do have a quite a bit of friends but only a select few that I actually did that with.

I guess that reason we are so close is we have like the same interests. We can talk pretty much talk about anything. Also, they were the ones that were with me when I had some problems. Mostly, school and girls. They helped me stay on track and just cheered me up when I was down. Idk where I would be if I didn't have them there for me.

There is a few more I can talk about but they are completely a different story. I love them like friends not family. If that makes sense.

I've had many friends that I've considered as close or closer than family over the years, probably close to ten different people over the past ten years or more. I'd say there's only one who I still remain extremely close with after all is said and done. As close as you may feel to someone, it's always possible for people to drift apart. Circumstances change. People change. The only ones I really regret losing contact with are the ones who just...vanish.


There's an author who mostly writes books for young adults, Jerry Spinelli. When I was a kid I read his autobiography over and over again, probably more than almost any of his fictional books. I was charmed and enamored with the way he managed to paint his own childhood, growing up in a different era in small town America. There was always one line, one passage that I always dreaded reading, however, and to this day the passage still haunts me, it still pops into my head whenever I find myself reflecting on the friends I lost just because they seemingly disappeared into thin air:

"I looked around one day and he was gone."

There are people I was once very close with who when I went to go look them up or see if they wanted to grab a coffee, they simply weren't there anymore. Their phone numbers were changed, their online profiles had disappeared, none of our mutual friends had heard from them. I looked around one day, and they were gone. As if they were never there in the first place.

I hated reading that passage when I was a kid because my stomach would drop like lead and I would start to worry "what if that happens to me? to my friends?" And when it does, it's the same feeling. Like being kicked in the gut.

In any case, I'm still lucky to have a number of close friends, and at least one I'm fairly sure will be a close friend for my whole life, regardless of where either of us end up. But while I'm more than willing to throw myself into friendships where they can feel as close as family, I'm not as disillusioned as I once was about the permanence of some of those "families."

I do consider some members on ZU like family to me. People like Nyook, kodachrome are close brothers to me, Nesi as my sister in a way and the rest are like cousins.

I've always considered being closer to friends than my own family for some reason. Maybe it's the fact that my own family don't talk to each other very well, and we share a bad past that drifts us into being strangers to one another (although my real sisters don't really count as strangers). Dysfunctional families ftw.
I don't have any friends irl (I don't really care), but I feel closer to those specific people that I mentioned than towards my own family.

I never really had a best friend before, until I went on ZU. :p I'm not really someone who looks for friends, since I am a massive introvert and I would rather mind my own business than getting to know someone else (I've always been that way since day 1).

It's kind of hard for me to reach out to people irl.


But yeah... To the people I listed (and to that amazing Skype chat with the 20+ people in it from ZU), man you are family to me.

There's only one or two people on here that I would even consider to be that close to me. Not going to name any names... *cough* Willow-chan lol.

The one person that isn't related to me, that I consider family is a really good friend of mine. But I only see him a few times a year do to his schedule, and whatever girl he's dating at the time [eh, they all hate me, lol]. He comes over for dinner, big dinners like Easter, Christmas, etc. And we chillax and play some Wii/DS.

Much like others, many ZU people are like close family to me. Perhaps because I was more brave to open on the internet where anonymity could protect me from eternal humiliation - and then, before I could've stopped it from happening, I had a bunch of super close people here who are like family.

While there are plenty of others I talk to about really personal issues, I think the TOP5 would be Buu, Liah, GWN, Gamzee and Eternal Legend. If something happens in my life that upsets me or makes me happy, they will be the first to know - and the first to give advice. All five is a bit older than me and so they can lead me on the way of growing up. And they always give me different sort of comfort. Buu gives me the emotional nest, Liah gives me the "this is what you gotta do" advice. Matt hugs me. Chris tells me why the reason I'm upset is dumb. EL just understands makes everything better.

But as EL said, all the members of the amazing Skype chat are a bit like family to me and it makes me realize how I'm a weird person for not having such close friends IRL, but to be honest, I don't even care as long as these people are here for me. :>

I consider my best friend like my brother. I can pretty much tell him anything, and he always find a way to cheer me up even if I don't say anything is wrong. I just feel so comfortable around him. Like, we understand each other really well.

I've known him since elementary school and grew up playing at his house and such. We eat dinner at each other's house, study together, play video games together, argue, etc. Our parents are even friends.

I honestly don't know what I'd ever do without him. :>

My parents were't quite parental figures. Both always drunk, beating for no reason if they felt like it...

So in high-school, there was this girl I liked. She dressed like me and listened to similar music (which is not often here). I found out her name was Jelena (Ye-le-na), and met her some time after on a concert. After talking a little with her, I somehow stopped liking her that way. We've been inseparable since then, same goes for her older of two brothers, Davor. Whenever I had trouble with my mother, I used to spend months living at their's, and they simply never mentioned it in a bad context, no matter how big of an ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ I was in certain situations. They live 20 miles / 40km from Belgrade, but that never stopped us from being friends.

When they come to my house (now that I don't live with my parents), Jelena and I always sleep in the same bed. Even in nude, I just don't have any kind of sexual affection towards her, she's like my 5th sister (since I have 4 already). People have tried to make us fight countless times, but it never worked. I simply love that crazy ♥♥♥♥♥. And no girlfriend of mine never had a chance of being jealous because of Jelena, it's simply impossible. Even if they tried to, I would shut them up

As for Davor, whenever I need him, he'll always be here. He'll catch the first bus from his godforsaken place, or even borrow a car, to help me. In the last three years, he's the only person I've ever been out with, wther it be a concert, a beer in the park or checking out highschool girls (he really loves that, so I don't complain). Whenever he comes, he brings some food, knowing my situation, and he never asked for anything in return. Except to repair his headphones, he cannot live without a pair. Although, he always dislikes my girlfriends, even the ones he like before we were dating, I kinda take that as a joke.

So yeah, these two were more family to me in the past 7 years then my parents ever were.

IRL, my best friend hands down is Briana. We met in elementary school, and have been best friends for right around 10 years. Ever since we met, we were essentially a match made in heaven. Our secret love of Zelda/videogames (lol), the color green, and being weird while deceivingly having the air fabulous ♥♥♥♥♥es is hard to find. Our families both had their ♥♥♥♥ed up ♥♥♥♥/ghetto moments (her mom once beat her literally unconscious with a bible, no joke), and we have seen it all with each other.

I always admired her athleticism--she had biceps since the fourth grade and is now number 1 in the country for pole-vaulting in her division--and her quirky sense of humor. The craziest ♥♥♥♥ always seems to happen to her, but she always bounces back, recounting the situation in the most hilarious way possible. For example, in high school on the first day of finals week--i.e. the most important school week ever--she got a horrible stomach flu. During our walk to school, the stomach flu hit her right as we walked through the school doors and she was imprisoned in the bathroom the entire day.

Or another time when she just got her weave done all nice and fancy along with a perm, and it started to rain. If you know anything about black people and perms and weaves, you know that you NEVER get them wet, especially in the first week. Well, she was soaked, the chemical started burning her scalp, and her weave started to fall out piece by piece. Poor girl looked like a wet chicken with random scraggly feathers poking out her head. But again, her sense of humor keeps anything from being devastating.

I have other close IRL friends, but I won't elaborate right now.

On ZU, to my surprise I've gotten fairly close to a few members on here. I'm so used to being a sort of shadowy member, lurking around with out ever being noticed. My closest ZU buddy hands down is Renee/Disulfate. She is just...a sweetheart, funny, and can be an honest ♥♥♥♥♥ to people which I LOVE. We have very different values in some aspects, but I find her views refreshing or interesting, and we respect each other despite this.

Amy is another member I highly value. She is funny and keeps it real as well, and is great for advice. She's sweet and honest, and I love that. She's toned down her ♥♥♥♥♥yness which is probably for the best, especially as she's a MOD now, but her sharp-edged sense of humor still creeps its way into her posts, and I like this.

Because I feel this is getting ridiculously long, I'm going to truncate this and say that I love Farore. Saul, DIUM, Vynrah, etc, all you guyses I love hearing from. I am comfortable sharing things in Farore that I just don't in the main forum, and no one judges--if anything, valuable feedback is given, and to add to Saul's post, Farore IS family.

For real real.

---------- Post added at 11:59 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:58 AM ----------

Originally Posted by AzraelBlack

And if that means drinking a litre of yoghurt, standing out the front of a super market at 11pm and waiting for people to walk past so we can pretend to be hurt and then throw up all over the floor in front of them, then you can bet that's what we'll do.

also this made me snort

For family, I'm practically the opposite of most people here.

I have a lot of friends, and I grew up in a great community. My siblings, mother, and father love me. We all complain and annoy each other, but we still love each other. I'm pretty close to my cousins, as well as my second cousins. It is really great at Christmas, because we all come together and do all that family stuff. I'm really lucky, now that I think about it...

As for friends, there is this one girl my (twin) sister went up to on the first day of kindergarten to be her friend. I immediately got jealous and asked her to be my friend. Since then, we have been friends. In elementary school there was a year or two when we didn't like each other, but pretty much we have been friends since then. We have gone to each others houses for Easter, Christmas Eve, I have been to her family reunions, I can't even count how many times we have been to each others' houses, or met up somewhere. She is a great person and I wouldn't trade her for the world!

There is this other girl that I knew since 1st grade, and was sort-of friends with her, but we really became best buddies in Jr. High. We had a ton in common, so we just got really close. I would also consider her my best friend, she is just great.

Total, our "friend group" consists of about 15 girls total. A few of them kind of bug me, and some I'm not as close with, but we talk with each other and have fun. Besides the two girls I mentioned, I don't think I would consider them as family.

I'm very talkative, so I have a lot of other friends from rival schools because I can't help but talk to them. It's great, because I have met some awesome people! I wouldn't consider them family though.

I didn't really realize people had really good friends online until I came to ZU. I have been on other sites before, and I never can seem to connect with people online. I had one friend from this one site, but we both stopped going on regularly, and we never had each others' emails/skype or any way to contact each other. I'm still pretty new to ZU, and I haven't really made any good friends... I'm not really good at connect with people online. I usually end up looking like an idiot who doesn't know what they are saying on the internet.

I think my closest friend circle can probably make up a family of our own (in a figurative sense); however, that being said, I don't think I consider them my family. I could call one of them a brother like my real brother, but I'm not sure if I really feel that way, or if it's other reasons that sometimes make me feel that way. So it really doesn't count.

That being said, there really isn't anyone else who could become even close to calling family. To me, being family means you are connected to someone, no matter what happens. It's a lifetime commitment, and a lifetime bond. A family member who doesn't stick by their family but is related in blood is worse a family member who isn't related but sticks by until the end.

To me, being actually related isn't an important step in being family, it simply helps related people identify themselves and keep the bond between them going.

Then again, I'm probably super picky about the ones I actually call family. Although most of the people who are related to me are family in the general sense, I only consider the ones I genuinely care about and who care back "family." My immediate family being the closest, of course, and after that my cousins, aunts and uncles, and grandparents. After that, things are sorta sticky.