Your Autobiography

You are writing your own autobiography now.

What will be its title?
What sort of style are you going to write it? Humorous, srs bsns, dramatic, nostalgic, objective...? Are you going to write it in a classic chronological order or will you make it crazy and do it completely differently?
What "episode" of your life are you going to leave out, what are you going to mention for sure? What is that life episode you think influenced you the most? Which details of your life consider really important to be a part of it? Describe it for us!
The short summary that one usually finds at the back of the book. What would that be in your case?
Is there a quote, a motto you would choose to describe your life and would include in your book?

Get creative, ZU. :>

~*~

Okay, I'm horrible with titles, so I'd either give it a title with such deep symbolism that no one understands - or I'd name it something really simple.

My style usually relatively serious with additional witty comments, so my book wouldn't be the one you'll forever laugh at, but hopefully one that's not so difficult and more pleasant to read as, say, those great Russian authors. C: I'd probably end up writing about ALL THE EMOTIONS I have, so I doubt my book would ever be close to objective. I also really enjoy retrospective writing, so I'd probably attempt to write in that way.

Things I'd omit: my extremely boring schoolyears. I'd make it super short, because as far as I enjoy them, I realise they could be not the most interesting to read. I'd probably include those people who have heavily influenced me, let they be philosophers or my brother or random peeps on ZU, haha. I really like those influence maps artists tend to make and it'd be interesting to collect what has influenced me and read what has influenced others.
Things I'd include: my travels and impressions and thoughts about other countries and cultures. That'd be my favourite part to write. :>

MY FAVOURITE QUOTE IS BY GOETHE and I have yet to find a better one: "Who speaks no foreign language doesn't know his native either" (it rhymes in German: "wer keine fremde Sprache spricht, kennt seine Muttersprache nicht") and I love it so much, it literally describes everything I love about linguistics, sooo yeah I'd include that.

YOUR TURN GUYS.

I honestly think that I would exaggerate it a bit more because I don't think my life has been terribly interesting. I don't have some major depressive episodes I could cover, or drug addictions, or love interests, or intense struggles that I had to overcome. It's been fairly quiet so far.

That said my autobiography would likely be written in the first person narrative. I think I would spend a decent amount of time on my childhood because, well, I was really free as a child, and I think it would explain why I want to fight inequality so much. As a child I wasn't indoctrinated by a church or constantly told what the "right" way of doing things was. I was free to explore myself and do the things I was interested in. And throughout my life it has been this way and so I think it plays a part on why I value personal freedom and why I can't stand to see people being discriminated against because of their skin color or sexual orientation or whatever it is they may have an interest in. I want everyone to be able to have the freedom that I've always had.

It would move through to about 15, which is where I believe changes started to take place. It was at that point I really started to move forward and realize all the equal rights and wanting to make the world a better place. It was when I began to socialize a lot more and arguably found myself. Then at age sixteen I began to write and realized how much I loved it. Age 17 is when I began to write a book and then finished it.

Ideally by the time I write an autobiography I'll have experience a LOT more. Written a bunch of books, participated in rallies and protests, given speeches in front of thousands (or millions) of people, perhaps even be a rock star. So I'll have a lot more to add.

It would definitely include some of my thoughts on life and my philosophies regarding it. I would spend time speaking of Jim Morrison, George Carlin, Anthony Kiedis, Siddhartha Gautama, and various other people who have shaped and influenced me throughout the years.

Quotes I'd include? I'd have to include my favorite Morrison quote at some point, "Can you picture what will be so limitless and free?" I'd also include, “The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You trade in your sense for an act. You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask. There can't be any large-scale revolution until there's a personal revolution, on and individual level. It's got to happen inside first. You can take away a man's political freedom and you won't hurt him- unless you take away his freedom to feel. That can destroy him. That kind of freedom can't be granted. Nobody can win it for you.”

I would probably not include the 3 or 4 years that I spent doing nothing but going to school and playing MMORPGs. I'd change it to just say I sat around the house and did nothing but watch TV and sit in silence.

Title: "Pietro Shrugged: A tale of bad-assery and balls from the ghettos of Montreal North to the halls of parliament"

The cover would be a picture of me recreating the iconic "Orton shrugged" picture as the opposition party questions me, behind me are my fellow party members.

If I were to ever write an autobiography, it'd be written in more of a novel style. I'd definitely like it to be very humorous, because such is my life. I'd like for the story to shift in time, backwards and forwards, maybe having the first chapter be something inane like watching football (possibly Orton) or doing a comedy set. Then start from the middle of my life at the point when I take office with me occasionally recalling my childhood, adolescence and early adulthood (back and forth) giving insight into how I became the person I am and informing how my past played into my political choices.

My early childhood would feature very scarcely in my book because there really isn't much at that point that I want to dwell on. Maybe a brief passage to give a general gist of it and that's it. My future family/ single life and my internet life from beginning to end (including you guys) will figure quite prominently because I truly believe the internet has greatly shaped who I am until this point. Most important event, I don't believe its happened yet.

Motto: I truly don't know, but something pithy, definitely something pithy.

This is my life in the future so it can be sold for maybe the next 40 years, nothing much to write about at this point.

Oh man, titles are a ♥♥♥♥♥ for me lol. I'd probably take twice as long to decide on a title than I would for actually writing the thing.

It'd be in first-person in a comedic tone. I am a pretty funny person (more so in real life) so I'd want to express that through my writing.

I'd write it chronologically and all parts of it would probably be pretty short. I hated my childhood so I would not talk much there, I didn't really much enjoy what's in between childhood and being a teen and, quite frankly, not very sure I like where I am now lol.

One of the things I would center on is a gradual change I made from hating to loving myself more from July of last year till now. I learned that I am not as terrible of a person as I once thought and it was simply the surroundings I was in that made me feel like such. I would go into pretty great detail about what happened there.

One other important event I'd center on is suddenly changing my last name 16 years into my life lol (no I didn't get married). It was a pretty important event that I am rather proud of so it'd get a decent explanation in the novel book thing.

Writing about how I'll be the prime minister as if its already a decided fact (which it is), might make me seem like a bit of an a-hole though...

I could never write an autobiography, holy ♥♥♥♥ no.

This may come as a surprise to many, because on the forums I clearly am not too bothered by talking about my self, and at times even being arrogantly show-offy I suppose. But I actually don't go around IRL talking about how great I am. lol.

I never got a MySpace, and I don't use Tumblr because I feel like in many ways people use these services to make like, a little online shrine to themselves. Like a great big false poster of how they want others to see them and think of them. Sometimes even for themselves to look at and think. "gee, I'm cool, look at all the cool things I like".

And that really bothers me. I mean, on ZU I'm a dick, yeah. But IRL I do not run around telling everyone about my accomplishments, how great I am at something or anything like that. I am more than happy to talk about it if asked, but the last thing I do is put it in peoples faces like I do here. No no, the true measure is when other people praise you, and tell others about how great your are, about your accomplishments and what not. I would much prefer others share their opinion of me (good or bad) than me share my opinion of me.


For that reason, I could never write an autobiography. It feels far far far too self indulgent for my liking. I'd feel like I was sucking my own dick. No thanks.

I would much prefer others write my biography, in which case, they can write what ever they want. I would assist as well as I could to their project if they wanted it and would let them write what ever they want. Even if it is defamatory, I think I would put up with it, provided it is of course true. If is false, well then, they can expect to hear from a lawyer about libel. Otherwise, I do not care for what they write about me. The fact that there are people out there writing about me is enough to make my ego boner super hard already haha.

I have no idea what the name of my autobiography would be. I'm bad with names unless I come up with them right off the bat. And I feel that, if I were to write everything that has happened until now, the book would feel incomplete.

I would write in a novelistic sense. Obviously, I would write it in first person, since I would be the one writing it. I imagine the book having three-hundred, or more pages. At least two-hundred and fifty.

I would try to write it in a way that would interest the reader. It would be a story of self-discovery, so people could connect with it, but I would write it at at least the age of twenty-five.

God, I feel I'm talking too highly of myself. xD

TITLE: "i'm 21 why do I even have a biography of me?"
STYLE: Two words on each page, and a hand-drawn image of an animal illustrated with watercolor pencils.
CHRONOLOGY: none. The chronology is not in order. Neither are the pages.
LEAVE OUT: all context and background information.
LEAVE IN: just enough to trick people into thinking that anything I have done is of consequence
BACK COVER: "This books is not worth the paper it is printed on." - New York Times Book Review.

it will sell millions.

title: space jam levels of swag and ballertude. a biography on swag.

It'd be a one page book which would say:

"he had space jam levels of swag and ballertude. it was pretty rad man. even his royal airness is quoted as saying "im a pretty fly baller who won the space jam but man. hes just like fly as a mofugga son". the great one would always say, "♥♥♥♥ son, im gretzky and I feel like Patrik Stefan when compared to him". peyton manning was once quoted as "man he's so awesome when i look at him i realize how lame as a human being I am. i also thank him everytime i score a td. which is alot.". tiger woods used to have sex while saluting his picture going "im doing this so that i dont disappoint you son". when asked his dad said with obvious amazement "i cant believe that much swag used to live in my balls man. that ♥♥♥♥s legit bro".


And then there'd be a picture of Jordan, Godzilla, 50 cent, Chris Farley, Gretzky, Batman and Peyton Manning fighting a skateboarding Dinosaur the size of the sun with a top hat and a monocle smoking a cigar on the backside of the page.

I'd Slaughterhouse-Five that autobiography, like Kurt Vonnegut.

Title - My Autobiography

I wouldn't come up with a very original title, because I am not good at coming up with original titles. So a title like this would be right up my alley.

Writing Style - I would include all different types of styles. Some parts would be a bit more serious than others, others would be more humorous. I would much rather act upon this style, less so being nostalgic, more so my opinions and such when the events were happening, and what my thoughts were back then.

What I'll Omit - Nothing I remember. If it gets too long, I'll make it a 2-parter, or better yet, a trilogy. So I can make 2 or 3 times the moolah.

Things I'll Include - Everything I remember.

Quotes - Nothing I can think of off the top of my head, at the moment.

Drugs, JP-8, And a Supreme Lack of Sexual Conquests

I'm not sure how it would actually be written though, as I'm woefully uncultured when it comes to word usage for specific techniques.

I truly loathe who I am, so I do not believe I'd have it in me to write about myself.

Though I do journal, because it is important to track your thought process.

Originally Posted by Andy

I truly loathe who I am, so I do not believe I'd have it in me to write about myself.

Though I do journal, because it is important to track your thought process.

Dude you could just write a book called "MAN ♥♥♥♥ THIS GUY." and have it be like a 1000 pages long and it's just pictures of yourself flipping the bird with the caption "MAN ♥♥♥♥ THIS GUY" in a different language on each page.

Funnily enough that actually might sell really well.

It wouldn't be an autobiography, but just a big sad rant about a pissy teenager who has emotional issues.

Though I do love graphic design and wouldn't mind making a book like that, hahaha! it would present some interesting looking spreads and the cover might catch attention.

plus who doesnt like making money?!

Title: The Slow Descent Into Madness; The chilling true story of Mackenzie Evans, the serial killer

(jaykay)

Writing a autobiography sounds like something I've get halfway through before I start crying and ragequit the whole situation.

Me, I can be extremely high in the angst department sometimes so by reflecting on all the things I remember, I'd suddenly start remembering all the bad things that ever happened and all the people who've hurt me and my family sucks and all unique and special ways I've personally failed myself. Like, I just have trouble accentuating the positive when I kinda had a really ♥♥♥♥ty childhood. And teenhood. So it's like, what am I supposed to talk about? Playing video games?
And in the book, I'd end up starting to talk about what makes me angry and what makes me sad and then I wouldn't be able to stop and then I'd read what I just wrote and be like ohhhhdeargod I need to get rid of this.
Then I'd get rid of it and go draw or write a poem.

Originally Posted by Andy

It wouldn't be an autobiography, but just a big sad rant about a pissy teenager who has emotional issues.

Though I do love graphic design and wouldn't mind making a book like that, hahaha! it would present some interesting looking spreads and the cover might catch attention.

plus who doesnt like making money?!

Oh man you could even like have yourself in the location where that specific language is spoken. Like where it says "MAN ♥♥♥♥ THIS GUY" in french, you're like flipping the bird like a boss in France, while when it's in Chinese you're in China, etc etc. I'd want to see if there's a North Korean page though.

No one. Everyone likes making money. Unless you're like. A swag filled billionare. Even then.