Giving Passwords To Your Significant Other

Originally Posted by Mafoofoo

I have this odd feeling that if you were to give your password out to a significant other and you two broke up that you'd probably change your password. But that's just me.

i dunno. say you're in a relationship with a girl you love more than anything for 2 years and one day out of nowhere she breaks up with you. you're shocked and hurt and in massive pain and need answers. the love of your life just ended it with you. and you're suggesting that the first thing to come to your mind is "keep my logins safe!"?

doubt it. something tells me it would slip your mind. especially considering it was probably such a minor event in your relationship, giving her your pw.

Hmm..
I was reading through the thread and mostly thinking "actually, I don;t think I wOULD mind both my partner and I sharing our passwords together; it is actually kinda romantic and beautiful"

And perhaps the ONLY argument that has been made which INSTANTLY made the most convincing and moral case against this is the one brought forward by Conde -

Originally Posted by Conde

Also, I had an unpleasant experience with a guy who shared his password with his girlfriend. I shared some personal stuff with him and I felt horror when I found out his girlfriend had access to his account. Purely inconvenient.

In that, people whom befriend and trust YOU with their issues, secrets and thoughts should NOT have to fear that all of that is being automatically released to a third party whom THEY haven't chosen to entrust with said things.
Things that others say to you in trust is something sacred that they have a right to be kept between just the both of you. It would be a betrayal on one's part if they allow their significant other access to others' secrets.

So.. yeah..
Thank you for bringing that up, Conde; you really highlighted one of the only issues that ISN't up to personal preference on this subject.

I probably wouldn't mind sharing my passwords....only because I myself don't know what the passwords are either. I use a program called KeePass (great free program, everyone should check it out) which generates an obscenely long string of random characters for every account I have. To sign in, all I have to do is press a hot key and it'll check the URL of the website I'm on (doesn't always work) and then fill in the log-in form with the appropriate info. If you're really paranoid, you also have the option to have the password expire after a certain amount of time. I do have a long master password in muscle memory though. I keep it only for my e-mail in case I loose the keepass file and have to reset stuff.

Either way, I understand that there's always the risk of running into some psycho who wants to destroy you but I'm assuming that marrying someone means I also trust them to have my passwords and not do anything with them.

Originally Posted by AzraelBlack

Pretty sure that there are many situations in which people are not ignorant of the dangers of sharing a password, and still do.

Well, from a risk versus reward perspective, those people are pretty stupid, then.

It's really simple. The risk in releasing a password is that the other person makes your secrets public or screws with your account or any number of things. The risk in keeping your password private is that if your significant other is bat♥♥♥♥ crazy, then you don't get to stay with them.

One of them is obviously better than the other.

I'd like to claim that it's a terrible idea for many of the reasons some of you have already described--but it would be at the cost of great hypocrisy. I've known my fiance since about preschool and we've been together for about eight years. At some point, the risk of separation seemed to be less than the freedom of action afforded by both of us knowing our respective passwords. I figure that if a separation does occur, I have much larger problems than her knowing a case sensitive password.

Despite knowing her passwords, I can say for a fact that I've never accessed her facebook or e-mail, though she wouldn't mind if I did so. I am facebookless, but she does have my e-mail passwords as well. I wouldn't normally recommend such an arrangement, but I am content with the present one.

If boyfriend/girlfriend then No because who knows if you won't break up terminating that relationship. If married spouse, however, then Yes because unless heavens forbid divorce occurs, you are bound in love and trust for life.

Originally Posted by pawptart

Well, from a risk versus reward perspective, those people are pretty stupid, then.

It's really simple. The risk in releasing a password is that the other person makes your secrets public or screws with your account or any number of things. The risk in keeping your password private is that if your significant other is bat♥♥♥♥ crazy, then you don't get to stay with them.

One of them is obviously better than the other.

Then why even get in a meaningful relationship? The risk of getting close to someone is that they can hurt you, tell your secrets to others, physically destroy you and your things etc. The risk in not letting yourself close to someone is that they can't hurt you at all!

Every time you trust someone there is a risk involved, and although some people aren't comfortable with trusting their significant other with their passwords (which is fine) many other people are and it's perfectly valid.

I gave Neshi my password a while ago and in the space of 10 minutes she managed to crush any reputation I might have had.

that is my stance on passwords.

Originally Posted by jehuty

Then why even get in a meaningful relationship? The risk of getting close to someone is that they can hurt you, tell your secrets to others, physically destroy you and your things etc. The risk in not letting yourself close to someone is that they can't hurt you at all!

It's a whole different story than when someone assumes your identity to ruin you.

Identity theft is identity theft, even if your significant other is the perpetrator.

Also. The point of not giving away your passwords isn't to stop the person from hurting you--it's to stop a breach of your privacy that 1) isn't necessary and 2) might actually result in a lot of problems. Since there's almost no benefit to giving your passwords to people, then what is the point of running a risk with it? The risk versus reward is too damn high (heh).

Originally Posted by jehuty

Every time you trust someone there is a risk involved, and although some people aren't comfortable with trusting their significant other with their passwords (which is fine) many other people are and it's perfectly valid.

There is a security risk with giving passwords to anyone. It's not a matter of trusting your significant other with the password, because through that person another could obtain your password (accidentally staying logged in, not browsing anonymously, etc.). If you keep passwords to yourself, you can ensure that they stay secure.

Originally Posted by forte

i dunno. say you're in a relationship with a girl you love more than anything for 2 years and one day out of nowhere she breaks up with you. you're shocked and hurt and in massive pain and need answers. the love of your life just ended it with you. and you're suggesting that the first thing to come to your mind is "keep my logins safe!"?

doubt it. something tells me it would slip your mind. especially considering it was probably such a minor event in your relationship, giving her your pw.

Well no ♥♥♥♥. But eventually you would go "oh ♥♥♥♥ that ♥♥♥♥er has my passwords. I probably should change that". lolz

I think that it breaches a line of trust, I know some girls/guys can be insecure, but there comes a point where you have to draw the line and say "you either trust me or not". If not, it obviously isn't going to work. It's a total privacy invasion.

Originally Posted by pawptart

It's a whole different story than when someone assumes your identity to ruin you.

Identity theft is identity theft, even if your significant other is the perpetrator.

Also. The point of not giving away your passwords isn't to stop the person from hurting you--it's to stop a breach of your privacy that 1) isn't necessary and 2) might actually result in a lot of problems. Since there's almost no benefit to giving your passwords to people, then what is the point of running a risk with it? The risk versus reward is too damn high (heh).

There is a security risk with giving passwords to anyone. It's not a matter of trusting your significant other with the password, because through that person another could obtain your password (accidentally staying logged in, not browsing anonymously, etc.). If you keep passwords to yourself, you can ensure that they stay secure.

So you're saying that it's not a matter of trusting your significant other. That even if you don't mind telling them the password you're worried about what other people you don't trust could do? That seems just a bit paranoid.

The absolute worst thing that can happen is someone getting hold of your banking information but in all honesty when do you ever log into your bank account in a public place and then decide to go take a stroll so someone can come by and go crazy? When do you ever log into something like amazon and leave it in a place where someone can just swing by and order a bunch of knick-knacks under your name? Chances are that you aren't that stupid and neither is your theoretical significant other. Realistically speaking if anything happens, it's going to be you opening up your facebook page one day and finding out that you have suddenly changed your sexuality or like farting loudly.

You're absolutely correct though that there is a chance things can go really bad. There is a chance you're with a psycho who will try to destroy something like your bank account and it could have all been avoided by not giving her a password. This is where I might differ from someone else. I think that if I'm with my significant other, it's someone whom I can have a fight with, leave everything I own infront of them and then come back to find that everything is exactly as I left it. I know it seems silly but that's just how my mind works....also if she REAALLLLLY wants to memorize a 20+ digit password consisting of letters, numbers and symbols then she deserves a few moments of petty revenge.

Originally Posted by jehuty

The absolute worst thing that can happen is someone getting hold of your banking information but in all honesty when do you ever log into your bank account in a public place and then decide to go take a stroll so someone can come by and go crazy? When do you ever log into something like amazon and leave it in a place where someone can just swing by and order a bunch of knick-knacks under your name? Chances are that you aren't that stupid and neither is your theoretical significant other. Realistically speaking if anything happens, it's going to be you opening up your facebook page one day and finding out that you have suddenly changed your sexuality or like farting loudly.

It's extremely easy to steal a password from someone's computer (especially laptops, what with them being mobile outside the home and all) since there's this handy-dandy feature on them these days known as saved passwords on most sites.

Even if you don't use that, a little technical know-how will grant access to a lot of your passwords.

The point I'm making is, why run the risk of anyone finding your personal information if the content you're posting to those sites isn't relevant to the problem you're trying to solve? If you're cheating on your other on Facebook, well, chances are you want to meet that person in real life, considering e-sex still sucks as far as I'm aware (GET ON THIS NOW, SCIENTISTS). Giving out your password to whomever for that reason is like having a leaky roof and plugging one hole but not the others.

It just doesn't make sense, and you run risks by other people knowing your password. Risk outweighs benefit in every case.

Originally Posted by Anime_Queen

Hmm..
I was reading through the thread and mostly thinking "actually, I don;t think I wOULD mind both my partner and I sharing our passwords together; it is actually kinda romantic and beautiful"

And perhaps the ONLY argument that has been made which INSTANTLY made the most convincing and moral case against this is the one brought forward by Conde -


In that, people whom befriend and trust YOU with their issues, secrets and thoughts should NOT have to fear that all of that is being automatically released to a third party whom THEY haven't chosen to entrust with said things.
Things that others say to you in trust is something sacred that they have a right to be kept between just the both of you. It would be a betrayal on one's part if they allow their significant other access to others' secrets.

So.. yeah..
Thank you for bringing that up, Conde; you really highlighted one of the only issues that ISN't up to personal preference on this subject.

agreed. i mean, i suppose sharing your password makes sense in a "i have nothing to hide from you" kind of way and it may have romantic connotations but in my opinion, nothing is sacred to anyone anymore. one of my good friends was seeing a guy who had his password and now i hardly ever talk to my friend because i know that his boyfriend is going to read it. (his boyfriend has been really malicious about me behind my back and manipulated people into believing things about me that weren't true.)

bum-out.

Originally Posted by Raptor Buddha

I'd like to claim that it's a terrible idea for many of the reasons some of you have already described--but it would be at the cost of great hypocrisy. I've known my fiance since about preschool and we've been together for about eight years. At some point, the risk of separation seemed to be less than the freedom of action afforded by both of us knowing our respective passwords. I figure that if a separation does occur, I have much larger problems than her knowing a case sensitive password.

Despite knowing her passwords, I can say for a fact that I've never accessed her facebook or e-mail, though she wouldn't mind if I did so. I am facebookless, but she does have my e-mail passwords as well. I wouldn't normally recommend such an arrangement, but I am content with the present one.

I have the same arrangement, I think. I've only shared my passwords with my beloved, but I can't remember it being very significant. I never requested her passwords, nor her mine. I suppose it's just happened along the way. I have never entered one of her accounts on my own either. I have no reason for doing that. Neither does she.

Heh, I share my passwords pretty freely. If someone demanded it from me then I'd say no, but if there was a reason I'd want them on my account then yeah they could have the password. That could be for a variety of things but usually I just want them to do me a favor and change someone or check something, if I don't have computer access.
Or if I'm bored and wanna see what happens when they have ultimate power over my account.
I could always change the password later so who cares.

I'm not a private person, I don't care who knows what about me.
And people don't normally pour out their private secrets to me via facebook so I don't worry about other people seeing someone else's private stuff. My messages aren't usually superprivate.
It's my skypepassword is the thing I'd never ever ever give away. But fb, zu, email, anything else is ♥♥♥♥ it whatever.

I've never had a significant other ask me for a password solely so they could snoop through my messages. I've never actually seen it as giving someone a password because they don't trust me, I usually just give it away because I trust them.

We don't know eachother's passwords, but we know eachother's PIN CODES. Yeah.

When I was just dating I never gave out my PW but they never asked any how. But now that I'm married, yeah my husband knows most of them. I trust him and I have nothing to hide.

I trust my boyfriend with my life but not with my passwords haha. I don't know why! He only knows my Youtube one, but that's because he had to go in and upload one of my ZU tag videos for me since it refused to upload on my end. He promised to never log on there again unless I asked him to and I trust him!

I don't have anything to hide, but I don't feel comfortable knowing someone else could be on my account doing something (like totally ruining my life). I've never given away my Facebook, Skype, ZU, or email passwords. I'd probably only give it out if something needed to be done RIGHTTHATMINUTEOHGODDEATH. Other than that? Nah.

Like others have said, it'd be fine for stuff like Netflix, or your computer and such, but stuff like your e-mail address password, phone or Facebook/Twitter passwords are a definite no for me. The only time you should have to give her/him a personal password is if you made a mistake and cheated or something along those lines, and she/he forgave you. Then I she/he actually has a reason to distrust you so then I could see a reason for the snooping...