Work Stories

This is a thread to share stories from your workplace so feel free to post weather it's funny or serrious and everything in between.

(i work at a grocery store)
OK so today i went into the back room to get more plastic bags for the checkouts and i smelt something amazing, one of the bakery ladies was moving stuff around in the freezer to make room for the brownies they had made, i walked up behind her and said that it smelled heavenly, she then turned around and said, and i quote "Who is the son of a ♥♥♥♥♥ that put all this ♥♥♥♥ in front of my space." i then proceeded to turn around, get the bags, and leave before cakes a started a flyin'. haha

Be Cashier at store that sells random stuff. Lady comes up THCIK Italian accent has few things and a bottle of olive oil. She asks "Can I try this one? I Will buy this one, but if I like I buy them all"
me "uh, okay"
She proceeds to takes 3 huge gulps chugs of the olive oil. Ahh she says, it's good. Yells back something in Italian to her friend, who goes to the olive oil and takes every bottle of that brand, like 15 bottles.
"So, you like olive oil huh?" I ask while trying not to break in laughter
"Oh yes I cook EVERYTHING with it" she says.
She asks if i'm Italian, because I kind of do nice lady.
Was the most random thing ever , I laughed so hard after she left. I was like sweating turning purple talking to her.
Not being racist AT ALL please no one think that, it was freaking funny.

Oh boy where should I start?

-There's this dude who works at Starbucks who is in love with me. He's creepy, but so far harmless.

-My boss, the pharmasist (sp?) is awful. He always makes mistakes, and my poor coworker, the staff pharmasist, always has to fix them. He's ALWAYS in the corner texting to his crazy girlfriend when he should be working, and he jerks off in the back room when he's working alone.

-There's this cute guy who works at the bank in the store and he's cuuuuute!

At my dad's work, there's a gay guy. Sure, it's no problem, but when he tries to seduces one of his partners, it just gets plain weird. I mean, he insisted on giving him his apartment's keys, do a prank to a friend that consisted of taking the picture of his penis and even show him gay porn on his WORK computer!

I teach 4 - 8 year olds ballet. The stories they tell me are endless, as well as the things they do are... unique.

- A 5 year old came in one Saturday morning, very excited. She told me she needed to tell me a story right away. I agreed. She then informed me that there was a bee on her doorbell that morning. It lifted its leg 3 times. Three whole times. I asked her if watching that was the bee's knees. She then responded with "I saw that bee's knees! It was trying really hard to ring the bell, so I helped it". Then she showed me where she got stung on her hand

- One of my 6 year olds came in. While I was teaching, she shouted over me to get her story across. I told her to wait until I was done speaking, then she could talk. She waited patiently. As soon as I finished she quickly spouted out, "I made 9 whole new friends today!". (Girl is a little socially outcast, so I excitedly ask about these whole new friends). I asked what their names were, and the girl proceeds to tell me all about these super-cool sounding friends, impressing me. Then she concludes with, "and they're all here right now!". Well. There weren't 9 extra people in my class. Turns out, they were all imaginary.

- A different 6 year old believes that boogers make fantastic presents. I get a new one for my collection every week.

Well I was folding clothes at work when this old lady with her husband comes up to me asking if I have a large in the pants I was folding up. I looked down at the one I was folding and saw it was a large, so I gave it to her and continued on folding clothes. I remember thinking she didn't look like a large, but a medium.

Out of the corner of my eyes i see this woman holding up the pants to her husband and even though I thought it was odd I didn't say anything. So she finally decided that a large was too big and asked for a medium. I pulled out a medium and gave it to her and continue on folding. So she does the same thing, holding the pants up to her husband. Then asks her husband to try them on. At this point in time I realize that the pants I'm folding (which are women's I must tell you right now) were in fact intended for the husband.

She must have noticed me looking over in shock because she looks at me and snaps "Is there anything wrong with a man wearing women clothes?!"

I tell her "no ma'am" and go back to folding clothes and refusing to make eye contact.

I have lots of stories. Lots.

well i work at a grocery store. one time i was taking this lady and her son out to the car. It was a dreary day and i was sleepy because of such. The lady's son was walking in front of me slowly, when he suddenly stopped. I ran the poor kid over with a shopping cart! what is worse is that one of my friends saw it and wont let me live it down.

I've had a ton of bratty, crying and screaming kids come through my line at work but to date this is the only kid I have ever actually been impressed with:

I don't remember what they were buying, but a grandfather and his grandson came through my line one night. At that time, corporate was trying to push these tacky Christmas grass for like 2.00 that came in a cheap porcelain or whatever cup. They weren't packaged very well, so of course hanging them right next to the registers where people could run into them with buggies or children would see them was the best idea.

Like any other kid, he saw the bright santa claus patterns on them, got curious, and picked one up. And his grandfather told him to be careful, to which he responded, "I am!"

Not a minute later, the cup was on the floor, smashed to pieces because he had lost his grip on it. And his grandfather calmly said, "Well, get out your money, son, you've broken it so you've got to pay for it."

His face got so red and he was clearly struggling to hold back tears. But he wasn't upset because he was being punished, he was upset because he understood that he had brought it upon himself. He kept saying, "I can't believe I did that I'm so mad at myself, I'm sorry," and he took out his wallet and was going to pay for it.

I didn't have the heart to make the kid pay for a tacky little grass pot when he so obviously had bigger plans for those dollars in mind, and he clearly was actually sorry he had done it, so I told his grandfather that it wasn't necessary for him to pay for it, because I could just add it to the store's damages.

The kid looked so relieved, too, and he thanked me politely and everything.

You just don't meet that many children these days who've been raised to appreciate the value of things, or to expect to be held accountable for their actions and understand it. At least, not where I work.

I had a client last year whose name was Richard Wunderlich. I laughed a little bit at his surname but than I found out everyone called him "Dick" instead of Richard.

Dick Wunderlich.

Originally Posted by Lachrymosa

You just don't meet that many children these days who've been raised to appreciate the value of things, or to expect to be held accountable for their actions and understand it. At least, not where I work.

This is true. You would find many more parents who would try to cover up what their kid had done, leaving the store before an employee hopefully noticed. You only have to work in retail, the restaurant business... anywhere basically for a short period of time to see this behavior.

Originally Posted by Princess Luna

Well I was folding clothes at work when this old lady with her husband comes up to me asking if I have a large in the pants I was folding up. I looked down at the one I was folding and saw it was a large, so I gave it to her and continued on folding clothes. I remember thinking she didn't look like a large, but a medium.

Out of the corner of my eyes i see this woman holding up the pants to her husband and even though I thought it was odd I didn't say anything. So she finally decided that a large was too big and asked for a medium. I pulled out a medium and gave it to her and continue on folding. So she does the same thing, holding the pants up to her husband. Then asks her husband to try them on. At this point in time I realize that the pants I'm folding (which are women's I must tell you right now) were in fact intended for the husband.

She must have noticed me looking over in shock because she looks at me and snaps "Is there anything wrong with a man wearing women clothes?!"

I tell her "no ma'am" and go back to folding clothes and refusing to make eye contact.

I have lots of stories. Lots.

I think I know of people that actually use women's clothes (but look good in it/don't see to look like women's).

Originally Posted by Lachrymosa

You just don't meet that many children these days who've been raised to appreciate the value of things, or to expect to be held accountable for their actions and understand it. At least, not where I work.

Whoever raised him deserves an award.

Originally Posted by Da Vinci

Dick Wunderlich.

LOL

Was browsing my work's social networking site during some downtime one day (we use Yammer - it's basically like facebook, but at the company level). Anyways, most people on their Yammer profile list their job descriptions, and most of them are generic positions like accountant, programmer, business analyst, etc. I just remember going through this long list of people with these vanilla job titles and then one guy's position just suddenly jumped out at me: ULTIMATE WARRIOR FIGHT MASTER.

Originally Posted by DL-Ghirahim

I think I know of people that actually use women's clothes (but look good in it/don't see to look like women's).

Yeah I know. I mean I wear guy t-shirts (mostly because its a graphic tee and they don't have the 'female' equivalent of it) It wasn't the shock of an old guy wearing women's sweat pants (that was more of a surprise). It was the shock of not exactly expecting it, you know?

I could write a couple of books just for the time I spent in fast food! Thankfully that time is long since gone, and I generally work in the very early morning anyways with a few exceptions here and there. But I do work a few times during the week when everyone is not still asleep.

One girl at the fast food place I worked at had sour cream thrown at her, because she wouldn't do something a customer wanted that the GM had put her foot down over earlier in the week [giving out free sides of sour cream/cheese/beef/etc].

This is actually my friend's story - He was in the bakery one day, when this old woman comes up to him. She asks him for one of those plastic containers you put croissants or buns or whatever in. Figuring she can't do any harm with it, he gives her one. About ten minutes later, he sees the old woman in the bakery area, sorting through piles of these plastic containers full of croissants, opening one every so often and taking one roll out, putting it in the container she was given. We're still not sure why she was doing this, but it might've had something to do with the freshness...maybe?

Originally Posted by Falls-44

I just remember going through this long list of people with these vanilla job titles and then one guy's position just suddenly jumped out at me: ULTIMATE WARRIOR FIGHT MASTER.

I LOL'd.

It was the shock of not exactly expecting it, you know?

I know, it's like thinking of an old man using a skinny.

Originally Posted by Grandma

A person was rude. I ate their pants.

Pics or it didn't happen.