Women's Advice Thread

Thanks for the advice guys. It really helped.

Originally Posted by Crab Helmet

Is this a thread where advice is given to women, or women give advice? I need to know on whether I should give advice, be given advice, do both, or gtfo.

Either, I don't think it matters. Females ask for and give advice in the men's advice thread sometimes.

Go away mens this is a lady problem.

So uh, regarding stuff (stress etc) that can delay a period. Once I start getting cramps that means it can't really be delayed any further, right? Like I couldn't get cramps and then stress way too much and delay the actual period from coming. I usually cramp 2-3 days beforehand so, just checking.

Originally Posted by Panique

Go away mens this is a lady problem.

So uh, regarding stuff (stress etc) that can delay a period. Once I start getting cramps that means it can't really be delayed any further, right? Like I couldn't get cramps and then stress way too much and delay the actual period from coming. I usually cramp 2-3 days beforehand so, just checking.

Period pains are caused by the contraction of the uterus to expel the blood lining its walls.

So, once you're starting to get cramps, I think the period should follow, regardless of stress.

Mind you, I tend to be a bit inconsistent...sometimes I don't get any cramps at all, and at other times, I get cramps for up to three days before actually starting my period. It can be pretty variable.

Stress is one of the causes, and being underweight can make them go away altogether. You seem to be a tiny lady, so maybe you're underweight? You should check into that.

Originally Posted by Astarael

Period pains are caused by the contraction of the uterus to expel the blood lining its walls.

So, once you're starting to get cramps, I think the period should follow, regardless of stress.

Mind you, I tend to be a bit inconsistent...sometimes I don't get any cramps at all, and at other times, I get cramps for up to three days before actually starting my period. It can be pretty variable.

I've always been pretty consistent and haven't missed one before, which is why this is so worrying, since this is technically the first time I'd have any cause for worrying. I figured that once cramps start the actual period should follow, just double checking here.

Originally Posted by brokenjoker

Stress is one of the causes, and being underweight can make them go away altogether. You seem to be a tiny lady, so maybe you're underweight? You should check into that.

Going by BMI and doctors and technicalities, I am underweight, but I've been around the same weight since I started getting periods around 5 years ago, so. :/ I'm willing to just blame stress at this point and try not to freak out about it. And like I said I'm fairly sure I'm getting cramps now (I guess it could just be my mind playing tricks or how I'm sitting or something) and was yesterday too, so I'll give it a few more days until I get seriously worried again.

Hugs to both. :3

Originally Posted by Panique

I've always been pretty consistent and haven't missed one before, which is why this is so worrying, since this is technically the first time I'd have any cause for worrying. I figured that once cramps start the actual period should follow, just double checking here.

Pani's an evil fornicator!!
J/K. I've had similar stuff happen a a handful of occasions. same situation. if you're feeling cramps, you're probably fine
I know you're a super-smart chick, so I'll take it as a given you've been taking the proper precautions...

Originally Posted by Margar

Pani's an evil fornicator!!
J/K. I've had similar stuff happen a a handful of occasions. same situation. if you're feeling cramps, you're probably fine
I know you're a super-smart chick, so I'll take it as a given you've been taking the proper precautions...

Of course. :3 Technically I figure there shouldn't be much risk at all really, everything worked as it was supposed to, but you know, there's always worrying and stuff. BLAH. Like I said before I'm pretty damn sure these are my normal cramps now so I guess the only other worries that could come out of it is if after the cramps I get nothing, or if it's just different than usual or something. But whatever, no need to get stressed about ♥♥♥♥ that hasn't happened yet.

As long as I'm here, I guess I'll ask this too. Next year I'm aiming to study across the country, staying with Jodd for the year, if all goes to plan. I've spoken to the guidance counsellor at the college campus I was at for the first half of the year and going by that side of things, everything should be do-able there. I've spoken to my manager at work and she says that I'd have to contact the stores there and check if they have any openings, but failing that she's able to write me a good referral to use on my resume if I have to apply to other stores. I'm saving currently and I'm working a ton over November/December so money beforehand really isn't a problem, nor is paying for the course (it's actually cheaper over there).

I've talked to my dad about it and as much as he doesn't particularly like the idea, he's willing to talk about it and at least hear me out about going there and with enough persuading and planning, I'm fairly sure that he'd be at least somewhat alright with me going. He's been nagging me to talk to my mum which I really have to do, but it's a lot harder to talk to her about serious-ish things like this. We haven't ever had a 'bad' relationship or anything, it's just that we've always had a very child/parent relationship and talking about more mature and adult things has never really come up between us and it always seems easier to just take on more of a child's perspective when talking to her, if that makes any sense. I can try to clarify more if it doesn't, I guess.

Any tips on talking about it to my mum would help, I guess. I've already asked a few people and my dad actually emailed me from work today with a few things I could say, so there's probably not much more I could get, but I may as well ask. SORRY FOR DRONING ON.

Pani, I know what you mean about the parent-child relationship. for 2 decades now, your mom has been you mom, and you've been her child. but you're both in a transitional period of moving to a more mature and less hierarchial relation.

Perhaps you should first, as a seperate conversation, see what your mom feels about that fact alone. Perhaps she needs help in realizing that you're not going to both wake up one morning in the vague future and suddenly you're an adult and she is no longer has a say in your choices. it's a process of transitioning. like the USA gradually withdrawing and handing over more control to Iraq after being there for.... too long. (me and my stupid political analogies!).

Then, after she's had some time to mull that over, she'll be more ready to handle the other conversation on a level playing field instead of expecting to have a big influence in your plans.

That does sound like it would be a better idea, but I'm not sure if there's actually the time for it at this point.

My dad is set on me telling my mum about my plans for next year tomorrow, and has been every day this week. So far I've put it off just out of not finding a suitable time for it or a way to approach her, but I'm honestly just looking at tomorrow bein when I should just buckle down and go for it. Aside from that, the applications for the course I'm interested in close on the 13th of November, and between then and now I do need to formally withdraw from my other course that I'm still enrolled in, and get the qualifications I got from the first semester and gather it all together to use in my application. Probably should have given it more time, but here I am.

In the email that my dad sent me he did achknowledge that I'm 18 now and I am old enough to make my own decisions, which was nice; I hadn't really heard that from either of my parents before. I'm sort of hoping that my mum will take on the same point of view. I really do want to do this and I'd like my parents to support me studying there next year and believe that, at the very least, it's not a bad idea.

Originally Posted by Panique

That does sound like it would be a better idea, but I'm not sure if there's actually the time for it at this point.

My dad is set on me telling my mum about my plans for next year tomorrow, and has been every day this week. So far I've put it off just out of not finding a suitable time for it or a way to approach her, but I'm honestly just looking at tomorrow bein when I should just buckle down and go for it. Aside from that, the applications for the course I'm interested in close on the 13th of November, and between then and now I do need to formally withdraw from my other course that I'm still enrolled in, and get the qualifications I got from the first semester and gather it all together to use in my application. Probably should have given it more time, but here I am.

In the email that my dad sent me he did achknowledge that I'm 18 now and I am old enough to make my own decisions, which was nice; I hadn't really heard that from either of my parents before. I'm sort of hoping that my mum will take on the same point of view. I really do want to do this and I'd like my parents to support me studying there next year and believe that, at the very least, it's not a bad idea.

Well, it's nice that your dad can acknolege that.
However, sometimes to get 2 different people to realize the same thing, they need it explained in a different way.
If you say to your mom "Well, dad said I'm 18 now and can make my own decisions" or even just "I'm 18 now and can make my own decisions" She will simply see it as an ignorant teenager's defiance.
However, if you take the more reasonable and mature-sounding approach of angling it as a transitional period of becoming an adult, and your mom loosening the reins, she may find that more sensible.

Your dad seems to be a more pragmatic person, while your mom a more emotional person. use that to your advantage

EDIT: oh, and since the whole "two different conversations" thing is not timely, you can still make that same point, just without the time in between.

EDIT 2: and I don't know your family situation, if your parents are divorced, but whether they are or aren't, compariong your dad's take on it, with your mom's in the conversation will most likely make her just think that you're pitting them against each other. try to steer clear of that.

Sometimes I wish I could really hurt him. Like dig my nails so far into his ♥♥♥♥ing neck.
I'm almost going to lie about being unfaithful just so he can shut up.

Uh. Explain?

... Renee? You wanna talk via PM or something...?

(Renee! <3 You know I'm here for you!)

Alright, ladies.. I'm a little nervous about posting this in the Women's Advice thread, cause I don't want to many people to know about it, but whatever.. this could be something serious, or something that'll be gone shortly. (Kind of nervous talking about it actually).

So, here it is:

I've been acting funny lately. Like my brain is just not being nice to me. I have trouble concentrating, talking, and even being in a crowded place. When I start sentences sometimes, they'll turn into jumbles, and I'll start stuttering, and I'll have to start over like three times before I get the sentence straight. Sometimes I'll say my sentences with words backwards, or something like "Dice Nime," instead of "Nice Dime".. not that greatest example, but you get it. ;P I know that happens with people all the time, but it's happening to me more than I want it too.

There's that, and then there's my frustration with being in crowds, or noisy disorganized places. I get annoyed, frustrated, confused, lost, and it's weird cause I'm used to noisy disorganized crowds. I just want to go somewhere quiet.. preferably by myself. Normally, I can do my everyday jobs quite nicely, but now I get distracted.. I forget what I'm doing. :/ I can't concentrate.

And I don't know why this is happening. It seems like it could be linked to stress, but.. I don't really have much to be stressed about. It like it could be anxiety too, but.. I don't know what I have to be anxious about. I have a math course that I need to get done, but I've experienced worse stress than what that's bringing me.

Not to mention I'm growing more edgy. More irritable. I have more moments of quiet solitude, and I'm mainly used to being loud and running around the place. But I can't figure out where it's coming from.

.. so, anyone experience when I'm going through, before? Anything you did to help. I plan on taking a visit to the doctor if it continues to get any worse. I feel as though if I just took a moment to concentrate on what I'm doing, it would eventually go away.. but, I don't know.

.. help? ;/

beejay--

Maybe you should see a doc' about it. I went through something similar about a year ago and apparently it was stress I hadn't dealt with a few months earlier that came creeping back to bite me in the ass. Doc' told me my muscles were all tense and even pointed out some irregularities in my clenching of the jaw due to stress! He also suggested some time out to myself. It doesn't have to be like a vacation, but just a few hours on the weekend or something. I went somewhere on my own where I did absolutely anything I wanted; sketched, sang, listened to music, wrote, or screamed if I freaking felt like it. It helped to me relax me. I spent some time with my Brandon too and spoke to him a lot. Through that I discovered that there were things I wanted to do, to achieve, but had put it off, and it was getting to me.

Hoped that helped you some. If you wanna chat via PM, I'm always up for listening/venting/advising/gossiping xD.

Peace!

Beejay, That sounds terrible. I know that people tend to blame stuff on stress first, and that could be the case here, but the stuttering and jumbling of words makes me think it may be more serious. don't let it go too long. see a specialist if it keeps up. I hope you'll be ok and find a solution quick.

RENEE, I have no idea what's going on, but I can tell you one thing for sure, telling your guy you've been unfaithful is not going to shut him up, and it's not your fault if he's too insecure to believe you haven't. No one should live like that, under constant scrutiny or distrust. I've been there, believe you me!!

Originally Posted by brokenjoker

(Renee! <3 You know I'm here for you!)

Alright, ladies.. I'm a little nervous about posting this in the Women's Advice thread, cause I don't want to many people to know about it, but whatever.. this could be something serious, or something that'll be gone shortly. (Kind of nervous talking about it actually).

So, here it is:

I've been acting funny lately. Like my brain is just not being nice to me. I have trouble concentrating, talking, and even being in a crowded place. When I start sentences sometimes, they'll turn into jumbles, and I'll start stuttering, and I'll have to start over like three times before I get the sentence straight. Sometimes I'll say my sentences with words backwards, or something like "Dice Nime," instead of "Nice Dime".. not that greatest example, but you get it. ;P I know that happens with people all the time, but it's happening to me more than I want it too.

There's that, and then there's my frustration with being in crowds, or noisy disorganized places. I get annoyed, frustrated, confused, lost, and it's weird cause I'm used to noisy disorganized crowds. I just want to go somewhere quiet.. preferably by myself. Normally, I can do my everyday jobs quite nicely, but now I get distracted.. I forget what I'm doing. :/ I can't concentrate.

And I don't know why this is happening. It seems like it could be linked to stress, but.. I don't really have much to be stressed about. It like it could be anxiety too, but.. I don't know what I have to be anxious about. I have a math course that I need to get done, but I've experienced worse stress than what that's bringing me.

Not to mention I'm growing more edgy. More irritable. I have more moments of quiet solitude, and I'm mainly used to being loud and running around the place. But I can't figure out where it's coming from.

.. so, anyone experience when I'm going through, before? Anything you did to help. I plan on taking a visit to the doctor if it continues to get any worse. I feel as though if I just took a moment to concentrate on what I'm doing, it would eventually go away.. but, I don't know.

.. help? ;/

I am not a doctor, let me say that right now. But you may be experiencing anxiety from stress. All of these definitely seem to be symptoms of anxiety (I have had massive problems with it in the past) and the best thing you can do is go to your doctor or school counselor and explain these things to them. I know you think you'll be labeled as "crazy" but you won't. Everyone experiences anxiety at some point in their lives, and it's always better to get it under control before it gets bad. Talk to your doctor/counselor and see what they say, hopefully they will help you out.

For now, try and relax. Take a hot bath, make some warm soup or hot cocoa, watch movies... just try to keep things low key and stress free, y'know? And if that means not talking to people who stress you out, then don't. I definitely understand where you're coming from.

Late response to Pani about cramps:

THAT HAPPENED TO ME LAST MONTH! I was all panicked because things were acting funny and the cramping and the running late, to the point where I couldn't sleep because I was so worried. Then I was all panicked at 3 AM because my stomach was upset and I made Alex play wii with me until I could sleep. ...I think it was from the chilli cheese dog I had for dinner.

But seriously, a lot of times cramping can start at ovulation and occur through menstruation. If you're cramping and you haven't started menstruation, it's no cause for panic because that happens sometimes, so you just have to wait it out. =/

I seriously dislike how undisciplined I am. I'm so used to getting whatever I want, I feel I've killed whatever willpower I had and It's coming back to bite me in the ass.

I have tendencies to do bad things, really bad things. I want to get ****ed up, I want to party, I want to...I guess, have who I wanted.

But I can't because I care about him. A LOT.

Not sure why I'm complaining, but I'm just overwhelmed I guess.

/vent

You know, Renee, a few years ago I was a very different person. I was a lot more aggressive, a lot more argumentative, partied HELLA more, drank myself into an oblivion most weekends and not even for having a good time with friends; just wanted to get wasted. I met someone I cared for, fell in love with, but I became too... I guess, scared to fully trust it, I think? Whatever it was, it annoyed the hell out of me because I wanted to give into the inclinations I had been satisfying for years, even if it wasn't the best for me. It took a long time for me to learn that loving and being loved was so much better, but it definitely wasn't a lesson that other people could tell me.

I guess what I'm saying is while I may fall short on the advice-side here, I do understand you for the most part.