Corrupt a (Wish) Politician!

Granted, but they're the pre OoT Zora, and they eat you.

I wish that you had edited your post for Fluttershy.

Granted. he did but it hurt Flutershy's feelings and they left zu forever
i wish zesty crouton's sig would stop staring into my soul

Granted. It stares into your body.
...by drilling huge, bloody holes in your flesh with its crouton-y goodness.

I wish ZU had a pink color scheme.

Granted, the new color scheme is pinky pie from MLP.
i wish my body wasn't full of holes from zesty crouton's sig

Granted. It no longer has holes at all. You die of suffocation.

I wish I'd stop getting random mail from New Mexico...

Granted, but then you get random mail from Al Gore.

EDIT:

Wish this wish didn't come true.

Granted, however, it DOES come alive!

I wish I had donuts.

granted, they were regurgitated from a homeless man who stole them.

i wish i could beat the game im playing

Granted. Your game becomes alive and you bludgeon it to death.

I wish to know what this smiley can be used for.... and what it is....

Granted, but knowledge won't make you happy!


I wish I could have a clone to do everything for me

Granted, but the clone eventually gets tired of being your slave and kills you. Then after making sure no one ever finds your body the clone steps into your life and no one ever realizes you died.

I wish the song that is stuck in my head would leave and that no other song would take it's place.

Granted, but now you can only think in song lyrics.

I wish that it was the 20th.

Granted, but you wake up late and all the stores are closed, and they've sold out of Zelda.

I wish I could speak another language

Granted. You speak Yiddish now! Sadly, you've forgotten English.

I wish I had the fortitude to not buy everything Nintendo ever makes...

EDIT:
Isn't this like the third time I've ruined somebody's wish with Yiddish? I'm less creative than I thought...

Granted, you now have that fortitude, but you now only buy things that have text in Yiddish, and you can't speak it.

I wish Stargate Ubisoft Sparkle.

Granted, a stargate opened in Ubisoft's office and sparkling aliens came through and killed all the workers.

I wish that this wasn't so odd.

^I feel like I'm always the one corrupting your wishes...

Ahem. Granted. Now you're all even.

I wish I could play the piano.

Granted. You're EVEN granted a drawback that curses you the rest of your life.

Damn Zesty Ninja Crouton!

I wish for a better wish.

Granted, but they misinterpreted it as butter. Now you're swimming in it. I can't believe it!

Bow bow bow wow wow.

Granted. Bow wow, wow wow wow, bow *sniff* Whine.

I wish Ilovesnurtles wasn't possessed by the demonic spirit of a pit bull