WW parody!

my first parody!

Chapter 1: Outset Island
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Aryl (holding telescope and looking through it): Big Brother! Big Brother! Where are you?
*Spots Link in the watchout thingy and goes up the stairs*

Aryl: hehehe *steps on Link 3 times*

Link: OUCH! Aryl, i thought i told you not to do that... you're lucky i don't have a sword!

Aryl: Aw, is the little three hearted baby gonna cry?

Link: at least i'm not some freak with 5,000 hearts!

Aryl: whatever, Grannie's calling ya

Link: hope it's not that horrible soup
*walks to Granny's house*

Link: Hey, granny, old lady, cooger, old timer, old bag, wind bag, grand mummie

Grandma: Oh, Link! it's our birthday! here are some cozy clothes!

Link: are you mad, you wind bag? it's like, the sun outside!

Grandma: JUST WEAR IT FOR PETE'S SAKE!

Link: Ok, ok, old cooger
*puts on the heroes clothes*

Grandma: now go get your present from Aryl
*Link goes and meets aryl*

Link: hey, aryl, i know you're gonna fool me with the telescope black eye again

Aryl: Just because it's your birthday, i didn't put any ink on the telescope, and now you can use the telescope for one whole day! wait, OOOOOHHHHH! Lookit that birdie holding a huge human shaped seed!

Link: What where? *uses telescope and gets a black eye* that's no seed! it's a pirate called Tetra who is too freakishly annoying!

Aryl: How do you know her name?

Link:i just guessed it, and besides, she must be pirate, 'cause the birds being shot at with boulders, and it just got hit!
*Tetra falls into the forest*

Aryl: go get a sword from the swordmaster!

Link: Nah, i think i'll just use my cellphone to call 911

Aryl: whats a cellphone and what's 911

Link: whatever, off to get a sword
*goes into swordtraining place*
Link: Old cooger! i need a sword, pronto!

Old cooger:the sword guy's out, so here is the sword you asked for

Link:*whispers* the damn old guy doesn't even know his name, and now he thinks he's named old cooger, what a weirdo
*goes to the forest on top of the island*

Link: ooh, some monsters!

Bokoblins:*start singing* we're gangstas! we're gonna pop that kid, then take his sword and soul for Ganon!

Link: You're so bad, you can't rhyme, so die! *throws sword, and luckily stabs all bokoblins*

*Tetra falls from the tree*
Tetra: OW! stupid bird... Hey, kid, you wanna help? stupid kindergardner

Fellow pirate: Miss Tetra! C'mon! Let's get going!
*everybody walks out of forest*

Aryl: Hey, link, i brought you burnt soup!

Link: s***!
*bird swoops in and takes Aryl*

Link: Thank god!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

So, how was it?

It was pretty good I liked it, especially the ending.
Burnt soup?
s****
Keep writing.

that was my favorite part... i made Aryl seem like a trouble maker, and i think it's funny

Originally Posted by Carge

Link: ooh, some monsters!

Bokoblins:*start singing* we're gangstas! we're gonna pop that kid, then take his sword and soul for Ganon!

Link: You're so bad, you can't rhyme, so die! *throws sword, and luckily stabs all bokoblins*

*Tetra falls from the tree*
Tetra: OW! stupid bird... Hey, kid, you wanna help? stupid kindergardner

Fellow pirate: Miss Tetra! C'mon! Let's get going!
*everybody walks out of forest*

Aryl: Hey, link, i brought you burnt soup!

Link: s***!
*bird swoops in and takes Aryl*

Link: Thank god!--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mah favorite parts!
Grass could have some competition!

Originally Posted by alexome12

It was pretty good I liked it, especially the ending.
Burnt soup?
s****
Keep writing.

Originally Posted by Carge

that was my favorite part... i made Aryl seem like a trouble maker, and i think it's funny

Originally Posted by Bobby Emerald

Mah favorite parts!
Grass could have some competition!

Jeez!
Have you not just noticed the forum lockdown and forum-clearout?
Obey the rules.
After having to wade and get rid of useless posts like these a second time I will simply hand out warnings and infractions, no more warnings!

Originally Posted by The rules

Criticism and Commenting

One MAJOR flaw that plagues many artists pages and public galleries is that there is a genuine lack of proper commenting. What is truly ideal is something similar to what Polykarbon forums has, where each and every member has a solid thing to contribute to any sort of work, as opposed to the generic comments, which are essentially little more than copy/paste commentary, should not be allowed.

Do NOT post comments such as

- "Good/nice job/work"
- "I like/love it"
- "Awesome stuff"
- "Haha/LOL/ROFL/That was funny (*obviously* in reference to humourous things)"
- "-generic statement of anticipation for more work from said artist-"

However, if you do have something worthwhile to say, and to really test the skill of an artist/writer/poet/etc, this is the guidelines on how to do it.

Criticism is to be done in a constructive and sensible manner. For every statement, it is a good idea to provide reasons why. A small paragraph of at least three of four sentances would be nice.

One helpfull tip would be to capatalize some of your sentences. Some grammer needs a little work too. Other than than that it is a really good story. I didnt know you had it in you carge. I also like that it isnt so random. The less random the better for me.

Ill actually start to read this fic.

Good job. Nice job. Good work. Nice work. I like it. Awesome stuff. ROFL







...




No, I'm not THAT much of an idiot.

Carge, for your first ever parody, it's actually quite successful. So, good job As always, I have some advice to give you (especially because I don't want SD to knock my teeth out )

Usually, when parody writers use too much randomness, the jokes become confusing. You did a good job of effectively using randomness. However, when you make a random joke, don't end it- try to expand on it. Basically, I'm saying to write a little bit more, and put a little more thought into your jokes.

For example:

Link: at least i'm not some freak with 5,000 hearts!

I had absolutely no idea what that was about. Which applies to a few other of your jokes.

Another thing is that you seem to be rushing the plot a little bit too much... try to avoid that.

Lastly, try to type this up on word and use proper spelling and grammar. Just because it's a parody doesn't mean it has to have bad grammar and everything- it's still a part of the fiction section, right?

So, good job Carge. Keep it up.

hooray for good comments and criticism!

Chapter 2: GO SAVE YOUR ISTER OR ELSE!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tetra: So, you're NOT gonna try to suicide to save her?

Link: Nope

Fellow pirate: Uh-oh, i forgot my line!

Tetra: You don't have a line now!

Link: Writer, i can't work with this!

Carge (the writer, duh!): you will, or i will make you drink five bottles of that burnt soup!

Link: PLEASE! HAVE MERCY!

Tetra: Let's just get down from this hill
*Tetra and Fellow pirate head towards the ship and Link goes home*

Grandma: WHERE IS YOUR SISTER?

Link: Um, camp?

Grandma: Oh, yeah! i told that bird to take her to Helmaroc camp or camp grenada, or something... anyways, GO SAVE YOUR SISTER OR ELSE!

Link: Or else what?

Grandma: i'll give you some of my homemade pig juice!

Link (remembers the pig juice) : NO! NOT THAT JUICE!

Grandma: Then take this shield

Link: Why would i want that cruddy shield?

Grandma: EITHER THE SHIELD OR PIG JUICE!

Link: Ok, ok! I'll take it!
*goes outside and meets up with Tetra*

Link: Take me to the place where the bird took my sister

Tetra: i thought you didn't care about her

Link: I don't it's just that if i don't get her back, i have to drink pig juice!

Tetra: What're you talking about? it's delicious!

Link: 0_o

Tetra: Just kidding, i know how horrible it is!

Link: Then let's go!
*set off to the great ocean*
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
And so concludes chapter two!

Originally Posted by SuperDecimal

Jeez!
Have you not just noticed the forum lockdown and forum-clearout?

Actually, I never found out about it...no, seriously. x_x
I don't go to this section much, that's why.
But anyways, Carge, you should write longer chapters. At least 2 more paragraphs worth. That'll work.

It seems like I have some competition! Now there are two WW parody writers.

Right now, all you really have to do is make your chapters longer. And here's a good tip for the future: Make each dungeon have their own special twist. This is what Grass and I have been doing. Other than that, your parody is nice. Just...short. I'm looking forward to what Link's gonna be doing in the dungeons. It's pretty hard to make one character to go through a dungeon solo and at the same time keep the parody's comedemic factor.

Well, good luck on making your parody a hot and succesful topic. Also, you seem to be gaining fans faster then me for some reason

Oh, ok, then!

Chapter 3: Pirate training
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Link: So, you're all pirates?

Tetra: Yep! Boys, Hit it!
*Pirates start singing a Yo-hoh! Yo-hoh! a Pirate's life for me along with coreaographies*

Tetra(with a soft ending voice) : Yo-hoh, yo-hoh! A pirate's life for me! *ending chant*

Link: 0_o, how many times have you rehearsed?

Tetra: Actually, that was improvisation

Link: Niiiice!

Tetra: Booker, give him the appropriate sneaky treatment, and some dancing lessons

Link: Dancing is for sissies

All pirates: WHAT DID YOU SAY?

Link: Um, that... Dancing's the best thing ever!

All pirates: We thought so

Booker: C'mon, Let's go, time for you to know how to swing on a rope

Link: do you think i'm stupid?

Booker: According to the use of your clothes in this hot weather, yes

Link: Then time for a 1 question Brainiac quiz to see who is smarter!

*A quiz anchor comes in, and 2 stands with buttons are put on the floor*

Anchor: The last question! What does E=MC squared mean?

Booker(presses button) : It means energy equals pirates!

Anchor: Wrong! Link, your answer!

Link: I say E=MC squared means energy equals mass continuun squared!

Anchor: Right! Link, you are the Brainiac of this pirate ship!

*Anchor goes away and the stands disappear*

Booker: Ok, then...

Link: Eh, so what? i'm smarter than you!

Tetra: Hey, we've arrived, c'mon up here!

*Link goes to the watch tower*

Tetra: Link, do you know how you'll get there?

Link: No idea

Tetra: Here, drink some of this brain juice to make you think!

Link: Thanks! *drinks it and is KOed*

*Link wakes up in a barrel*

Link: what the?

Tetra: Shut up! Booker, fire!

*Link is shot in a barrel towards the fortress*
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sorry it couldn't be longer, my mom wants me off the computer

Ha, good job. I'll let it go this time that it is short. Anyways, work on grammer. I know I ain't the king of it (Grass is ) but there still is capazilation you need to work on.

Also, like Grass said, try to expand your jokes and make them longer. Thats what I'm working on. Other wise, it's good.

Lol, thats pretty good. The only problem is that it seems kinda rushed. I mean the part where Link suddenly knows Tetra's name and occupation is a little weird. Also, the thing about the hearts is a little bit strange too. I say you should make it have a longer begining, ya' know?

Oh, ok, then, now for a long chapter!

Chapter 4: Forsaken Fortress!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Link: AHHHHHHHHH! *Takes a small break from screaming and drinks some soda*AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

*Hits wall and sword flies off and lands on top of a Bokoblin's head, and it stabs the bokoblin*

Bokoblin: Ow! stupid birds! Stupid small arms... now i can't get it off my head! I'll get those bids one day!
*Back to Link now*

Stone: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Link: AHHHHH! WTH? A talking stone? have i gone nuts? Wait... maybe Navi's stuck inside of this rock! What to do? What to do?

Stone: No, you idiot! It's me, Tetra!

Link:0_o? have i gone nuts or am i dreaming? you turned into a rock? Well... It's time to get back at you for shooting me inside a barrel towards this island!

Stone: No, i'm not the rock, you idiot! No wonder people hate you. Anyways, sorry, but i needed to do that, and besides, you lost your sword, so you're gonna have to be sneaky now!

Link: Oh! Right! I know what to do! Brainiac!

*Anchor, 2 stands with buttons on them and 5 moblin guards come and take both Link and the anchor into custody*

Link*Talking to the stone*: what kind of sneakiness trainment wast that?

Stone: Whatever! Just listen: to your right is a pot on top of a book case or something, break t