[ZGen] the dark side of the legend (T)

well, as I said, it's yet another recounting of OoT. I'll try to add more uniqueness to it, but there's really not a whole lot I can do. I just told it as most people do it, and I would want to skim it too, most of it is just going through the timeline. the best, and least boring part, will be the part at the end that isn't a game. I'll try everything you suggested, but it really is just a summary. now, what're the OoT novelization and your thing called?

electricut: in case you don't see my new sig in a few days time i won't be able to log in for a while. Rest assured i will continue to read your fanfic but i will be unable to comment on it. This also means i won't be able to post any new parts to my own story for a while. Don't worry i'll notify you when i return and if the thread that contains my story is gone i will repost the parts i have already completed.

don't worry, I'll keep it alive for you.

Okay, you just said you’d write it as most people would do. That is a problem. You should never write something just because the audience wants it.

For instance, if (and this is pretending people comment on my story instead of just reading it), if I were to suddenly and unexpectedly kill of Cassandra, one of the main characters, people might comment and PM and whatnot, telling me how much they loved her and list a hundred reasons why I should resurrect her.

Would I care? Not in the slightest. Never write only what the audience wants. This is your (well, at least your fanfiction) world. Make your own choices. You could make an amazing rewrite of Ocarina of Time if you wanted. Fans might not like it, but if it’s well written and interesting, they’ll keep their mouths shut.

Onto other subjects, the link to my story is located in my sig. Alternately, just go to the Originals Showcase and it should be one of the first stories listed.

The OoT Retelling is located here.

one, I meant as most people play OoT. two, do you want me to follow your advice or not? three, I think i've got a couple ideas as to how I'll remix it a little.

chapter 12
Link stood before the deku tree, his fairy beside him. "Link..." The ancient tree gasped. "For years, I have kept this forest safe from darkness... but, a strong, dark force is gathering... I have been poisoned by them... Hurry, you must destroy the creatures that have entered these sacred grounds... I have little time left, but you must keep the treasure of the kokiri safe... for I no longer can..."

"... I will not let that happen." Link whispered. Navi was surprised, but before she could speak, the deku tree opened his mouth, leading into a huge chamber. Link wordlessly moved into the cavern and saw a spider web covering a hole in the ground. He climbed up a vine on a wall, leading to a ledge with a door.

He entered and saw a large chest across a gap in the room. There was a ladder leading to that one, but not back up to the door. He jumped and rolled, then climbed the ladder and removed a slingshot from the chest.

"Now, how to get out of this room..." He saw a ladder above the ledge he came through. "Hm, I wonder...." He took aim with the slingshot and the ladder fell. He exited and looked down, He was quite a good distance off the ground, so he jumped onto the web and fell through. Fortunately, there was a pool of water a the bottom of the hole, and he splashed into it. He traveled through another door, and a deku shrub tunneled up out of the ground and fired a seed bullet at him. Link returned the favor, deflecting the bullet back at him.

"Argh!" The strange creature grunted, completely out of the ground. Link drew his sword to finish him. "WAIT! Please, don't kill me! If you spare me, I'll tell you how to get past my comrades further ahead, deal?" Link lowered his sword. "Okay, when you enter their room, you have to defeat the second one first, the then third, then the first."

"Or you could just tell them to let me through."

"Well, then they'd beat me up before feeding me to queen gohma."

"So you'd rather have this, gohma, eat me instead?"

"Yup." they stared at each other for quite some time, then Link simply walked through the next door.
______________________________
After a few more chambers, he made it to three deku shrubs, and deflected the bullets back at them. The first one spoke.

"Wha- Who told you how to defeat us?! Well, I suppose we have no choice but to let you through. I'm sorry, my queen..." A large door opened in the back of the room, and Link went through.

At first, He saw nothing but a foggy cave. But when he looked up, he saw a huge spider creature, watching him. It fell to the ground, and Link readied his sword, then shook his head and took out his slingshot. When he had an open shot, he fired a seed at its huge, single eye. It fell, stunned, and Link slashed at it, and after getting to the edge of the room, it exploded. A shining emerald with gold swirls on either side lay in its burnt, skeletal remains.

"This must be the emerald..." He took it, and was transported outside. "I destroyed them." He said to the deku tree, who was in much worse shape than before.

"You've done well, link..." He said with difficulty. "Alas, My time is still up.... Link, It is time you left the forest to fulfill your destiny, ugh... Go to... Zelda...." He turned a dark shade of grey, and was dead.

"The great deku tree is dead..." Navi said sadly. "Come on, you heard him, we have to go to Hyrule castle town to see princess zelda!" Link left into the kokiri woods, convinced one of the know-it-all brothers to let him through, and went through the tunnel to a bridge, where Saria was waiting for him.

"Link... you're leaving, aren't you?"

"Yes... The deku tree wanted me to."

"... Here. Take this." She handed him a brown ocarina.

"What's this?" He asked.

"An ocarina." She said, pulling out another one. "I also want to teach you a song to remember me by." she pressed it to her lips and played the song that echoed through the lost woods. Link played along with her.

"Songs like this are magical, this one will let you talk to me, no matter where you are."

"Wow, thanks!" He said, pocketing the ocarina.

"..... Link.... Don't forget about me."

"What?! Of course I won't!"

Saria smiled fondly, then stepped forward and hugged him. After almost a full minute, they separated, and link left the bridge into the world outside the forest.

chapter 13
Link walked through the remainder of the passage, then stopped, stunned. There were tall mountains, glistening rivers, an entrance to a desert, the huge Hyrule castle; It was more than Link could have ever imagined.

"All this has been here this whole time?" He said, slowly walking across the field. "The Deku tree shelters the kokiri from more than evil, it seems." He looked to his side where Navi flew, she seemed equally stunned.

"Wow..." she said. "I never would've guessed... C'mon!" She said, shaking herself out of her trance. "We have to get to castle town before nightfall! Or risk a night out here with the stalchildren..." Link ran and rolled to the drawbridge and entered the bustling town. He observed a church to the northeast, then went up the path to the castle.

The first thing he noticed was a beautiful girl, patiently singing against the cliff wall. He walked up nervously, and she spoke.

"Hm? who're you?"

"L-Link." He said.

"Do you come from the forest? Fairies only follow forest children, as far as I know."
She pointed at Navi.

"Yep. I'm here to see zelda."

"Hmm... so was my dad, but he's been quite a while... How long can milk delivery take? If you're going up to the castle, could you find him for me?"

"Sure thing!" He said, eager to earn her favor. He walked up to the gates leading to the castle, where a single guard stood lazily guarding it.

"Huh? What do you want?" He said.

"To see the princess, if possible."

"Well, I'm not supposed to but... Give me ten rupees and I'll let you pass."

Link walked back to the entrance, not intending to pay anyone. He noticed a patch of vines that crawled all the way up the cliff.

'Excuse me." He said to the girl, who moved for him. He began climbing, and she laughed.

"He he, what're you doing?" She asked.

"The soldiers don't exactly want me to see her, so I have to sneak around them. Don't worry, I'll send your dad back here!"

"Wait, I think you should take this." He dropped down, and she handed him an egg.

"What's this for?"

"It's supposed to hatch sometime soon. You may need to wake dad up, so its rooster crow might be useful."

"Alright, thanks!" he put it in a cushy part of his bag, then climbed the wall. It led to the other side of the gate, so he dropped down, and was thankful that he landed without a sound. He sneaked up the hill to the very edge of the moat, and, realizing there was no other way to get through, jumped in and swam to the other side, where a bearded man was sleeping against a box.

"This must be her dad... Man, when is this chicken gonna hatch?" He shrugged and sat against another box, and practiced with his ocarina. Eventually he fell asleep just like the bearded man.
__________________________________________________ ____________________________
Link awoke to the sound of the egg cracking. It had rolled out of his backpack and was rolling in circles at his feet. He picked it up, and the egg exploded, revealing a tiny chicken. It crowed, and the bearded man awoke with a start.

"WHAT"N TARNATION?!... Who're you?"

"Link. Your daughter has been waiting awhile for you."

"Aw, dang, she's gonna be so mad... Here, let me see that chicken, I'll take it back. Thanks, swing by the ranch sometime, I'll repay you then." He rushed off, and Link noticed a hole with water flowing out. He thought up a plan, then pushed the two boxes on top of each other, into the moat, then climbed in.

He ended up in a fountain surrounded by grass and castle walls. He inched around the corner, and saw more guards patrolling the areas ahead. "Dangit, how many are there?! Maybe I should try something else..." He pulled out his slingshot.No, it'll just bounce off their helmets...unless!

He loaded a deku seed into it and fired it at the back of the soldiers head. He saw a literal shock run down his spine, and he fell to the ground, unconscious. "Sweet!" He said, loading another deku seed and turning the corner.

You mixed up the use of "there"s

There is used to indicate direction, as in "It's over there"

Their is used to indicate possesion, as in "That's their car"

They're is a contraction of "they are," as in "They're going to need help"

So this:

No, it'll just bounce off they're helmets

should have said this:

No, it'll just bounce off their helmets

Other than that, it's great.

Thanks! for the compliment and the correction. I was tired, otherwise I wouldn't have made that mistake. either way, here's the next chapter.

Chapter 14
"Hey." Link said, casually strolling into the courtyard where zelda was, looking into the castle throne room.

"Wha- How did you get in here?"

"I, uhh, snuck past the guards, yeah.... Anyway, I was told to come here and see you."

"Huh... By who?"

"The Deku tree. He told me to come here after I got this, and he died." He took out the kokiri emerald, and Zelda's eyes grew wide.

"So you're the one... come here, let me show you something." He walked next to her, and they looked into the window to see a black armored, dark skinned, red haired man walk up to the king and bow.

"That's Ganondorf, king of the Gerudo. My father, the king, trusts him, but I think he's up to no good. I can sense it..."

"It's him...." Link said, and zelda looked confused. "I saw him in my recurring dream. See, I was standing in front of castle town, and a woman rode out with you, then he came out chasing you. I tried to stop him, and he blasted me with some kind of magic."

"Hmm... was the woman my attendant, who's behind you?" He looked back and saw a tall, silver haired, red eyed woman, just standing there.

"How did she do that?" He asked.

"She's a ninja. Now, my father won't listen when I say ganondorf's bad, so it looks like we're on our own for now. Listen, you need to go to the other two races, the gorons and zoras, and bring their stones back here. I'll try to convince my father. Here, take this letter, the leaders of the two races will need to know you're from me." she handed him a letter with the family crest on it.

"Alright, thanks. I'll be back." He walked off, and Zelda's attendant stopped him.

"You may also need this song, as further proof. I would always play this as a lullaby for zelda." She took out a small harp, and played a song, which Link mimicked. She led him out, then stopped at an unconscious soldier. "What did you do?!"

"Don't worry, they're unconscious. Deku seeds aren't lethal."

"Huh. clever. I suppose you can make your own way out then?"

"Sure." He backtracked and left the way he came, then stopped at a shop in town. There was a fancy metal shield on display, with the royal crest, and an eagle seeming to be carrying a fourth triangle to the center. He got out his wallet, He had found quite a few blue rupees in the Deku tree.

"Hey, can I get that shield, and some Deku seeds?"

"Hah! I doubt you have enough for that!" the shop owner said.

"Think again." He spread fifty rupees on the counter, and the shop owner was stunned.

"Where's a kid like you get that much money? Oh well, money's money." He handed him the two items, and Link made his way out of the town. He saw a group of buildings in the center of the field, surrounded by stone walls and fences.

Huh, that must be the ranch. He made his way up to it, and entered. He walked through the path of buildings, and up to a large open area full of horses. The girl he met before was standing there with a small brown one with white hair, singing the same tune as before. He walked up to her, and the horse galloped away.

"Oh, fairy boy!" she said. "Don't worry, Epona's just shy. Oh, I forgot to introduce myself, I'm Malon. Thanks for sending my dad back, by the way."

"No problem. By the way, that's a nice song, can you teach me?"

"Oh, sure. My mother taught it to me when I was little." He took out his ocarina and played the song. Epona calmed down, then walked over to link. "Oh, looks like she likes you!" Malon said.

"Well, I'd better get going, thanks!"

"Okay, come back whenever!"

Link walked out of the ranch to the volcano to the east, new energy in his steps.

chapter 15
Link walked into the small but heavily populated kakariko village, taking everything in. There were several construction workers building a house on a raised platform, chickens wandering around, and two passages out. One was to a graveyard, the other led to death mountain. He approached the closed gate, and talked to the soldier.

"What? You want to go up here?" The soldier said. "Only those on official business from the royal family can go up here."

"Actually, I am." Link took out the letter Zelda had given him, and the soldier recognized the crest instantly.

"Huh. What d'you know. Alright, get up there." He opened the gate, and Link trudged up the mountain. He climbed for five minutes, and reached the cave leading to the goron city. He saw a stone platform in the center, held up by ropes. There was a goron there, and a pedestal where the ruby might be. Miraculously, he walked across the rope, and spoke to the goron.

"The ruby?" The goron said. "Well, it used to be here, but our chief took it and is hiding in his chamber. I'm not sure what's wrong with him lately..."

Link went down to the lowest part of the city, and found a sealed door. He couldn't open it, and no-one answered when he called inside.

"This must be why Impa taught me that song..." He played Zelda's lullaby, and the door swung open. He stepped inside, and saw an older goron standing in the center of the chamber.

"What?! You're who the king sent?! What can a kid possibly do?!"

"I don't know... Listen, can I just get the ruby already?"

"WHAT?! Why would I give it to you?!"

Well, this isn't working. Link thought. Maybe Saria knows what to do here... He took out his ocarina again and played Saria's song, and the goron instantaneously started dancing.

Link backed away slowly. Frankly, seeing a goron of that size dance so wildly was just... creepy. Once he calmed down, the goron spoke again.

"Ah, that calmed my nerves. Sorry, I have a lot to be angry about. The cavern where we get our most delicious rocks has been sealed off by that monstrous man in black armor. What's more, before sealing it off, he filled it with his dark minions and monsters! We're going to starve off if this lasts much longer. Please, you have to do something. If you do, I'll gladly give you the ruby!"

"Alright, I'll be back!" He left, contemplating. Okay, just need to get in there and get their food, shouldn't be too hard... Wait, did he say they eat rocks?! Weirdos. He made his way out of the city, and saw a cliff overlooking what was obviously the sealed-off cave. There was a plant resembling a bomb growing there.

He lifted it, and it started to turn red. Hurriedly, he dropped it off the cliff, and it obliterated the blockage. "Wow. That was easy. He jumped to the ground and rolled safely, but rolled right into the wall. Dazed, he stumbled into the cavern.

"Well, I should probably kill off some of the monsters, too." He jumped to the cliff to the side, and used the bomb plant there to destroy the beam-shooting monsters. He saw a stone pedestal up on the high cliff to the east of the chamber. "Hey, Navi, can you fly up there and see what that thing says?"

"Sure!" She flew up to it, read it for a few moments, then flew back down. "You're supposed to light up that skulls eyes." She motioned to the huge, reptilian skull on the back of the chamber. He thought up a plan, then grabbed two rock slabs from the bottom of the chamber.

He quickly grabbed two bomb plants, careful to keep one from going off. he placed the lit one, then a slab, then the unlit one. The first exploded, launching the second right into the skull's eye. It exploded, turning the eye red. He repeated, and the mouth of the skull opened, leading to another door.

"Wow, it worked! This shouldn't take long." He went up to and through the door, readying himself for the guardian ganondorf had most likely placed.

I've deleted a couple of posts in this thread. Please remember to post constructive criticism. If you do not put thought in to your criticisms then expect your posts to be deleted.

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This is very good, but feels a little rushed. You're skipping through a lot of important things in the story, but other than that, it's great. I think you should put some more depth into it though.

sorry for the delay, but here's the next chapter.

chapter 16

Link stumbled into the goron city, arms full of large rocks from the caves. "I come bearing rocks!" He said, dumping them near the entrance. gorons rolled in from every imaginable direction and began munching on them. Again. weirdos. He thought as darunia approached.

"Excellent work, Link!" He said, clasping him on the back. "You've single handedly saved our tribe! I would be honored to accept you as our brother! No, no special ceremony like the Hylians like to to, just accept the ruby as a gift!" He handed link the neatly cut red gem, set in a base of gold.

"Thanks!" Link said, waving as he left the cavern city. He travelled back down the mountain, and out of kakariko village. "Okay, where next..." He noted the river flowing past the village entrance, into the castle town. "It's the water gem, right? Probably find it at the source of this river." "That makes sense." Navi said, bouncing around. "Alright, let's get moving!"

He walked along the path against the cliff wall, then saw a cavern leading out of the mouth of the river. He continued along, then climbed over a fence and up a few cliffs. He reached a place where the river widened, and there were misshapen cliffs and walkways hanging precariously over the water.

He continued along, and reached a roaring waterfall. he stood before it, and saw a royal family crest on the ground. "Hmm... well, it worked once." He said, already pressing his ocarina to his lips. He played Zelda's lullaby, and the water parted, revealing a cliff to a cavern.

He worked up the courage to jump, and just managed to cling to the edge. "This was obviously designed for people with... better jumping ability..." He pulled himself up and saw a large cavern flooded at the bottom. there were several people that had large black eyes and fish like fins on their arms and heads.

"Well, looks like this is the place... I should find the leader of this place, they probably have it." He turned to the side and traveled up to where the signs pointed. He entered into a large throne room with a big frog-looking thing sitting in the chair. The sign that stood there said that he was the king.

"Your majesty." Link said, bowing. "I come on behalf of princess Zelda. She requests the Zora sapphire." He had recited this over and over to make a good impression on the king.

"Hm? Oh, a messenger. I don't have time to talk, I've got to much to worry about. My daughter, Ruto, Has gone missing, you see. She went to feed our deity, as she does every day, but it's been days, and she hasn't returned. She's the one with the sapphire, you want it, find my little girl."

"I will not disappoint you." He left. God dangit, why do I always show up right on time for a cultural disaster? He walked through the cave to the left, and found a waterfall flowing down to the ground floor. An underwater tunnel sat in the base of the lake, Link thought one of the Zoras said something about it leading to Lake Hylia.

He fearlessly jumped off the edge, landing in deep water. He swam through the tunnel, and surfaced in a large body of water. There were a few buildings dotted across the bits of land, and a small temple-ish thing behind him. He saw a message in a bottle further into the lake.

He got right above it and dove, just barely grasping it and rising to the surface. He took the paper out and read it. It was a distress call from princess Ruto. He pocketed the message, then saw a fish swimming at his feet. I've always wanted a fish... He thought. He scooped it up, along with some water, in the bottle he had got the note in. Alright, I should probably show this to the Zora king. He dove back into the tunnel and set off for the throne room.

DA-DADADA-DAAAAA! first chapter after the server change! yay! sorry I didn’t post this’n before it, or for very long after, but oh well. Also, if you didn’t notice, I updated the above chapter, so check it out if you haven’t already. anywho, here you go!

chapter 17

“WHAT?! ruto’s been EATEN by jabu jabu?! why would he, OUR GOD, do such a thing?!” The zora king exclaimed.

“I can go and get her back.” Link said.

“Hmmm.... well, Iv’e no other choice, it seems... alright, get going.” He slowly, ever so slowly, moved off to the side, revealing a passage where more water was flowing out. Link went up the staircase to the right. He entered a large lake with a huge fish resting by a platform.

Hmmm..... If I want to get Ruto out, first I’ll probably need to get in... How am I going to get his mouth open? Link thought. He remembered the fish he’d caught minutes before. aww.... oh well. He popped open the bottle, and dumped the fish onto the platform. Jabu-jabu opened his mouth, and both the fish and link were inhaled.

“Ugh...” Link groaned, pulling himself up, looking around. He was in Jabu-jabu’s mouth area now, and there were jellyfish- like things floating around in the air.

“Ewww....” Navi said, flying around. “How on earth did we get roped into this?!... Anyway, we need to find a way to get through the throat, Ruto’s got to be further back. Maybe this thing will do it?” She floated up to a large lump near the back of his mouth.

Link instinctively pulled out his slingshot and shot at it, and sure enough, the back of his mouth opened up into the throat. He went through and saw the zora princess standing before him.

"Hrm?" She said, noticing him. "What're you doing here?"

"Well, rescuing you." He said.

"Rescued?! I can't leave yet, I need to find my family treasure!"

"Well, that's what I needed you for. Let me just get you out of here, and I'll find it."

"I can find it myself!" She walked forward cautiously, but fell through the floor regardless.

"Wow." Link said. "Do we have to save her?"

"I'm afraid so..." Navi said.

"Oh well." Link jumped into the spot where Ruto fell though, and landed much deeper in the stomach.

"You just don't give up do you?" Ruto said, standing next to where he landed.

"What kind of hero would I be if I did?"

"Well, I'm still not leaving until I find that stone. If you insist on helping, then you can carry me while looking for it!" she sat.

Link sighed, then picked her up and moved to another chamber. This one was a narrow hallway with five other doors: two on either side of the entrance, and three branches in front of him. They were all blocked by slimy pillars, shrinking and expanding, blocking the passage. He braced himself for whatever lied ahead, and went through the door no the far left.