This's my first truly original piece, if anyone's ever seen The Neverending Story then you'll love this one. I've been working on my presentation along with description, I can't make any promises about quality by
your standards when it comes to grammar/spelling etc. I'm just putting this up here for solid advice/review, speaking of, if you can't find a particularly "nice" way to say what you'd like to without making it an insult. I'd prefer to avoid any childish quarels if any at all. I'm here just to show my work, if you want to say what you think fine, but at least try to find a nice way to say it. Have I improved to your standards, probably not, cause no matter what I do you find more problems, or at least that's what it seems.
AN, prologue and introduction This chapter mainly introduces you to Alan and Allysa, nothing too special going on here, it's just what it is an intro.
First Chapter: A Dragon, a Goddess and a Princess Alan takes his first steps in the book world, only to find out later that he's in Arabia! (The arabian knights) A skermish with a dragon starts a chain of events that may lead to the distruction or salvation of both our realm and the realm of fiction.
The Amazonians : This's where the quest really get's moving along, Alan finally sets off for the first seal. After a shipwreck, Alan finds himself under the care of a woman nearly the size of an average skyscraper!
The Amazonians pt 2 Much to his luck, Alan was under the care of the right Amazonian for his needs. After meeting the queen and her daughter officially and growing to the apropriate scale, Alan and Shati set off for the first seal. When things are all said and done however, the plot grows ever thicker as Hara the goddess of fiction makes a gamble with alan along with her sister Eris, the goddess of destruction.
The Seal of Water After a brief break in his world, Alan returns to the book world and finds that the only way to get the seal of water is to win a Compittition! Does Alan have what it takes to outsmart the cunning Atlantians two headed serpant?
Eh that's all I have for now, remember to play nice or not at all. I don't need a page sized post explaining every little thing you found wrong, in fact I'd much rather find out what was done right first. Hearing the positive things first actually lightens the blow (no matter how hard) if any.